Things I’m Afraid To Do

This is going to be one of my honest posts. I’ve actually thought all day about these two things so I thought I’d release them from my brain. I made myself a vow once when I was around 16. This was a time where I wanted to be like everybody else, meaning wanted to party like them. I only wanted to drink. Drugs have never seemed “cool” in my book. Lots of my friends drink and smoke pot and I’ve just kept myself from it all. I made a vow at that age, that I’d never drink until I turned 21. One more year and I will pass my own test of self-control. I’ve joked to my mom that I’ve wanted to have a shot or two, but she knows me well that I’m kidding. The other thing of keeping myself away from alcohol until I’m 21 is because not only would I be illegal and I have kept lots of things over the years and seen too many drunken people to know some of those things might come to kick me in the ass. Which is my reason to not want to get drunk around my parents, all hell might break loose.

The second thing I’m afraid of getting myself into has been something that I’ve been sort of glad I’ve never went to one. I have not went to a BIG concert before. I’ve went to a pop and couple of country concerts but they were all small. None were ever big like I know a few people in my family have been to. Linkin Park never came to Indiana, which I was kind of upset about but I quickly got over it because lots of my Twitter friends who have been waiting for them to come to their country for years actually got the chance this year. That was my way of getting over it. I have said to other people that I hate groupies and those fans that are just out of their freaking minds but then I started thinking. I have never went to a rock concert before, so how can I judge? Then I went back and laughed because I will never be able to get passed that. I could never pass for being a groupie being in my wheelchair. Kind of one of these where my disability is a blessing in disguiese.


It’s Just Wednesday & I Feel Like Blah

I’ve got to say I’ve had worse pain, and I actually know what kind of pain this is from. If it goes around my lower back to stomach I know what kind of pain it is. Back pain and cramps are my two pains were I am actually getting use to and accepting that there not going anywhere. It’s actually not as bad as what it probably could be. I had my dad gave me some Advils to calm down the pain a bit. I’d rather have Advil instead of my stronger meds. Actually sratch that I’d rather just push through the damn pain altogether. I feel like everytime I take medicine I’m not strong enough to get the pain myself. When I had my surgeries I only asked for Tylenol and that wasn’t even the strong stuff. Sometimes I didn’t even ask for anything at all. Being able to look back at that, and asking myself “why can’t I be that strong now?” It seriously bugs the crap out of me.

I have to be inspired to blog today. This was a post from about two hours ago. Just thought I’d publish it that way I can say, I’m not a burn out today. I don’t have anything too interesting inside my head today. The only thing I’ve done today is get up, listen to music, visit with my mom, I smell like Coconut, and tweet. That’s it. Not in one of those moods where I can blog all day even though I love those days. I’ve been trying to think of creative things to blog about, find pictures of Tumblr to maybe start an idea. I haven’t even read today. It’s almost 2:30pm and I still haven’t read yet. I’m sure I will soon though. Oh well, that’s it for me today.