A-Z Disability Challenge | W : Wheelchairs

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It is extremely difficult for me to talk about wheelchairs. Last year, the big contervesory was about the death of Stephan Hawking was announced, an artist made this beautiful drawing of him coming out of his wheelchair and basically walking up to heaven. As a disabled woman, I was very conflicted with this, but it wasn’t for the picture per se. It was because I felt like I had to choose between what I’ve always been taught and agreeing with the rest of the disability community.

The big deal wasn’t necessarily about the drawing itself, it was more about how a disabled person relies on their wheelchair to do things, like simple tasks around the house and/or getting out and having drinks with friends. However, everything just exploded into this chaotic thing that I really did not want to be part of at that time. Honestly, I still didn’t want to talk about it again on here, but I am on the letter “W” and there wasn’t anything else I could talk about other than this.

So, I’ll just say that my wheelchair doesn’t give me freedom. There it’s out and I can separate myself from the crap I’ve been feeling all this time.

I do think it allows me to do tasks better but I still feel stuck whenever I am in it. I really feel I am limited in both varieties of wheelchairs, as I’m either too short or too bulky! I have yet to find the perfect fit. Maybe this is what regular woman deal with picking out new heels! The second point I would like to get across is, it’s also all about your state of mind. I think after so long, you adapt to every different setting, and wheelchairs are a part of this too. You might get to do new or lose some beloved challenges while figuring out your surroundings.

Again, I have conflicting feelings about my freedom. I know I can never get away from my limitations. I say this not a sad note though, I like being able to test them anyways. I think this is really healthy! My family might not always agree with that statement, but you know. Honestly I would lastly like to say, I will believe what I want to. I have been doing pretty good on several other subjects throughout the years, I can add this onto the never ending list too! Even if that means keeping it in for a year and a half until I can find a clean way to discuss it on here, that’s what I’ll do.

If you’re in a wheelchair, whether that is full or part time, what are your thoughts on your freedom to be able do all the things you want to do? 

snowflake

Blogmas | The Christmas Day Tag!

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Howdy!

I think every Blogmas I’ve done, I always have some kind of Christmas tag in the lineup. I’ve never planned on any of them, by the time the season rolls around, they just appear at the right time, so I just end up doing them anyways!

I found this one while on Twitter. A fellow blogger Nina posted her link through the many retweet accounts and it came up on my newsfeed. When I first read it, I quickly realized that I hadn’t done it before and that it was all about what goes on Christmas day. I thought it would be fun to kind of guess what’ll happen that day a few weeks in advance, and maybe I’ll find out everything I said in my answers was right. Sometimes I like placing bets on myself, keeps things entertaining on those boring gloomy days!

It is a tag, but I am opening it up to anyone who wants to do it. If you end up answering the questions below, I would like to read your posts! So, please link it back to me at the end, okay? Have fun!

What time do you wake up?

It varies with every year honestly, but it is always very early! I’m not saying we get up at like three or four in the morning–when I was little, my sister and I tried to make this happen on more than one occasion; it actually happened once, we were proud of ourselves!–but we tend to get up around sevenish. When my grandparents lived in town, this was our usual schedule: wake up at 7am, play for 10 minutes and then rush to get ready to go to nana and papaw’s by 8am. This might be the way, Blondie and Brandon do it this year, but I could be wrong.

Where will you be spending the day?

So, since we no longer go to my grandparent’s house, it’ll just be my immediate family gathering at our new house! I am actually really excited to celebrate it here, we were jipped last year but we want to make up for it.

What will you be wearing?

I have a really cute pajama set, they are white with little Cardinals sitting on tiny branches and red leaves. It is made of velvet, so they are comfy and warm – perfect for Christmas I think!

What games will you be playing?

We don’t really play any games, at least not with my parents. Nolan will probably play with his cars for the “short” time before we unwrap presents. I don’t think my parents, mainly my dad, to have my little nephew wait even five minutes to dig into the gifts under the tree! He’s always been awful about that, but he has turned into a big softie when it comes to him.

What will you be eating and drinking?

So, during Thanksgiving, my mom is the one that tends to do the bulk of the cooking but dad is in charge of the turkey and gravy. However, when it comes to Christmas, this is where he tends to shine the most. He loves making big Christmas breakfasts.

We usually have any way you take your eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, sausage and cinnamon rolls. Sometimes he makes me breakfast burritos or quesadilla, but if he doesn’t, my go-to is the potatoes with ketchup, plus two or three cinnamon rolls for good measure!

As far as beverages go, we never have anything fancy. Nolan will probably drink apple juice and the rest of us will have milk, which seems like the perfect breakfast to me.

What will you be watching?

Okay, since dad gets up pretty early to cook everything, he usually takes over the remote and turns it to TBS for the 24 hour broadcast of “A Christmas Story”. Here’s the funny thing about that, I haven’t watched it all the way through since I was in middle school!

Now, after all of the festivities die down a bit, I have a full afternoon of NBA basketball games. I like to think it’s a Christmas gift to myself because it’s usually all of the teams I normally watch during the season playing on that day. Last year, I only missed one game, because I was so exhausted and because the Lakers were having an awful bout of games, I figured I wasn’t going to miss much and I think I was right too. I might end up recording them all and watch at my own time, but who knows!

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What do you hope to find under the tree on Christmas Day?

You’re allowed to laugh at this answer, but I haven’t really asked for much this year. My mom said she has gotten me something that will be signed “From Santa Claus” on Christmas day, but the only thing I really hope to see is a giant pillow.

I sleep with three pillows at the moment! I have my childhood pillow down at the bottom because I can’t get rid of it for the life of me, plus two extra ones I’ve had to include because of my neck. So, I am hoping for one, hard, giant pillow to solve all of my problems.

Who will you be spending day with?

I am spending the day with my parents, Blondie, Brandon, Nolan and our dog ChiChi (and yes, she has a stocking and is getting her own gifts!). I feel like it could be chaotic because of the excitement in general, but since Nolan is walking now, we can’t just place him in his high chair and have him unwrap his presents there. I have a feeling, he’ll be attempting to help everyone with their gifts!

When will you be opening your presents?

It’ll depend on whether or not we eat breakfast first, but like I said, I don’t think it’ll take my nephew long to convince papaw that we need to do this first, but you never know – although when it comes to these two, I’m hardly ever wrong!

snowflake

Book Review: "Inside Out" by Demi Moore

I want to say about three days after my review for “The Handmaid’s Tale” published, I finished with my second book of the season which was Demi Moore’s memoir “Inside Out”. I was pretty proud of myself but not for the reasons you might assume. My mom and I are the readers in the family, and she is fast and can focus all of her attention into the books she reads, whereas I am very easily distracted. So, the fact that I got done with it before her, made me happy as a clown!

Before we got it though, I happened to read some of the articles of when she talks about her relationship with Ashton Kruchter, but thankfully nothing I read online diverted me away or towards it, I actually wanted to read it and see what kind of life she has lead to this point.


45167624Famed American actress Demi Moore at last tells her own story in a surprisingly intimate and emotionally charged memoir.

For decades, Demi Moore has been synonymous with celebrity. From iconic film roles to high-profile relationships, Moore has never been far from the spotlight—or the headlines.

Even as Demi was becoming the highest paid actress in Hollywood, however, she was always outrunning her past, just one step ahead of the doubts and insecurities that defined her childhood. Throughout her rise to fame and during some of the most pivotal moments of her life, Demi battled addiction, body image issues, and childhood trauma that would follow her for years—all while juggling a skyrocketing career and at times negative public perception. As her success grew, Demi found herself questioning if she belonged in Hollywood, if she was a good mother, a good actress—and, always, if she was simply good enough.

As much as her story is about adversity, it is also about tremendous resilience. In this deeply candid and reflective memoir, Demi pulls back the curtain and opens up about her career and personal life—laying bare her tumultuous relationship with her mother, her marriages, her struggles balancing stardom with raising a family, and her journey toward open heartedness. Inside Out is a story of survival, success, and surrender—a wrenchingly honest portrayal of one woman’s at once ordinary and iconic life.

Taken from Goodreads


Personally, I have never been a really big fan of Demi’s. I’ve only seen maybe two or three movies and for a good chunk of my life, I didn’t know that she was the actress who voiced Esmeralda on The Hunchback of Notre Dame! Other than that, I just read the book because A) biographies and memoirs are one of my favorite genres and B) I was really curious to hear her story.

In the beginning, as she was describing her early life with her parents, the dysfunction of it all with their fighting and moving around, made me remember the earliest parts of my life. My parents were young when they had my sister and I, and they had a lot of fights in front of us that I think has always made me second guess anything about love and marriage. Thankfully, as the years go by, the fights die down a little and you start to see more love come out of the result of all those hardships.

Since I have never been that interested in celebrities’ private lives growing up and even now–and trust me I try not to read any of the tabloids mentioned in People magazine–but the fact that she let us into her life was in a way bittersweet. I think my favorite parts were when she was talking about her time with Bruce and living in Hailey. You can tell that she loved it, not only because she became a mother during this time but she also portrayed herself as happy, despite dealing with her issues she discusses in the book.

If you’re like me and you’re movie crazy, you will enjoy her talking about the process of doing some of her notable roles over the years. She gives you little nice details about each film, whether they were enjoyable or not. But if you are just looking for a nice biography, this is also up your alley too! She really makes you think about everything. There was one word that I thought worked well with the entire thing and that was: perspective. When you decide to read it, I think you should keep this in mind because it will help you out as you get towards the end.

Have you read Demi’s book yet? If you have, what were things you liked or maybe disliked about it? Do you have a favorite section like I did?

A-Z Disability Challenge | V : Voiceless

I am dedicating this week’s post to all of the disabled people who cannot speak, both physically and mentally.

My aunt was born deaf and she has been successful at getting through life, she has had some issues over the years, like right now, one of them is that she is loosing her sight, and I can’t imagine how scary that is! She relies on a lot of things, especially her eyes to be able to do sign language with other people, including her family. So, I really hope this post doesn’t offend her or any other person who is deaf out there.

One of the biggest misconceptions about disabled people, is that we can’t speak for ourselves. It’s crazy how many stories I’ve heard from various family members of people coming up to them in stores when I was younger, and they were absolutely amazed that I could talk. Sadly this is a reality to a lot of people out there. They can’t say anything, and I’m not just talking about people who are deaf. My focus are on those who could be scared, unable because of their condition, etc There are lots of reasons for a person to become silent.

People think this only happens to elderly people, after they’ve had a heart attack or stroke. They lose the ability to do things for themselves, to the point where they have to relearn how to do things again. Sometimes, one of those things is speaking. Unfortunately, there are people, who never get the chance to go back to who they use to be and they’re stuck like this. It’s always sad to see an older person in this state, but I often think about the ones who were born without ever having anything like this happen to them, and yet they are going through the same things and it messes with me emotionally; I feel grateful that I am of sound, mind and body, but I also feel awful at the same time because I don’t really know what to do to help them.

This is when you understand why some opt for assisted-suicide, because they believe it is the best choice for them.

Blogmas | Why I Went Non-Traditional This Christmas

Howdy!

I am a couple of days early, but I already had this in my daily planner that it’ll work the best. Let’s be honest, there’s a 50/50 chance that you put your tree and decorations in and around your house way before yesterday, so I wouldn’t be judging me so quickly! 😉 In my defense though, I only got the tree itself done. It’s just a little naked at the moment.


Last Christmas, I published a blog post about decor ideas that I was thinking about for this year.The main reason why I wrote that post is because we didn’t put up our family tree because of the mess after our new house arriving but having to wait to actually move into it until after new years. It was Nolan’s first Christmas but as much as we all loved watching him tear into his gifts, it did feel a little off not to have that tradition continuing even if it was our final family holiday together.

I like that little piece of tradition, putting up our 29 year old Christmas tree with both Blondie and Brandon. We usually make it a big thing, but now with Nolan being a year older, it’ll be interesting to see whether or not he actually helps with decorating it! With that being said, I was perfectly okay with switching things up when it came to decorating my room for Christmas–even if that meant getting a black tree!

Yes, you read that right. I said, I have a black Christmas tree!

In that post that I put up, I actually mentioned something about the trend of these black trees, but I didn’t even plan on getting or much less wanting one originally. I even put a poll up on my Twitter with four colors: green red, purple, and black; the only ones that people voted were purple with 80%, and lastly black had 20%!

At first, my plan was going about a regular green tree, but as I started thinking about more, I ended up really wanting a royal purple tree instead. My Charlie Brown tree I had in the old house was purple, so I figured I would keep this tradition going too. The only reason why I suddenly changed my mind was one night my mom was looking up trees on various websites and she found a 3″ tree in different colors. She almost convinced me to get a white one, but once she said there was a black tree, I just lost it! I knew it was for me, so we bought it for $16.95!

Now before it arrived, I expected it to be fairly large and full of little branches. What I got instead was a tree that is the same height of my push wheelchair! The only thing I got right were the branches, however my mom and I were concerned that it wasn’t going to be as grand as the larger trees, I still think it’s cute! I have fixed several of the branches since taking these photos, but nothing much has really changed.

As far as ornaments and topper, I am also breaking up from using my favorites ones in our family tote, but I am enjoying creating my own path though! I would like to keep a part of my original color scheme: royal purple and white.Apparently, it’s a lot easier to find white lights and ornaments, but anything in a darker shade of purple, is becoming a bit more difficult to do! My latest idea was if there was any room left that I would add some quirky ones throughout it too. At the rate I’m going though, it might become my alternative if we can’t find the right colored bulbs anywhere! For the top of the tree, I want a star instead of an angel, because I’ve always liked them a lot better!

I have only one window in my room, and it’s great because I am lucky to get both the moon at night and morning sun, which is something I wasn’t able to enjoy back in my old room! After learning the layout of my new room, and I decided which furniture would go where, I knew having a tree right in between and the middle of my window would be perfect! We don’t know if this will be okay for the lights, but I am prepared on getting battery powered ones if nothing else will reach over to the plugins. There is one final tradition I am not doing and that is, I am not using those stand wraps. I think my sunflower rug will be do just fine

When I finally have everything ready and go to actually decorate my Christmas tree, I will definitely be taking pictures of the whole process for you! Hopefully, it won’t take us the whole month to find any good ones, but you never know!

Do you have a tree in your bedroom that’s completely different than the traditional tree in your living room or at your parent’s house? If you don’t, is that something you are striving for in the future? What kind of version do you see for it?

November Playlist

Howdy!

This month has been pretty good. I am definitely feeling the shift in the season where there are less and less new music coming out, but what is totally different from years past is that I am still hopeful that I’ll find really great stuff in the next few weeks!

For the November playlist, I think I will shrink it down to only the Top 10 tracks because a lot of the music I listened to this month was a repeat of the previous blog posts. So, with that being said, I really hope you enjoy the songs below!

Nice To Meet Ya by Niall Horan
Don’t Call Me Angel by Ariana Grande. Miley Cryus & Lana Del Rey
I Warned Myself by Charlie Puth
Contaminated by BANKS
Into The Unknown by Idina Menzel & Aurora
Bom Bidi Bom by Nick Jonas featuring Nicki Minaj
Pray For Me by G-Eazy
I Believe by Blessed Union of Souls
Me Necessita by CNCO & PRETTYMUCH
Control Myself by LL Cool J featuring Jennifer Lopez
Fuck, I’m Lonely by Lauv featuring Anne-Marie

Higher Love by Kygo with Whitney Houston
Born To Rule by Vo Williams & UNSECRET
The Chain by Evanescence
Con Altura by ROSALIA featuring J Balvin
Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi
Dear Society by Madison Beer
Hate Me by Ellie Goulding featuring Juicy WRLD
Stroke by BANKS
Who’s That Boy by Demi Lovato featuring DEV

I have been thinking about whether or not I will be doing my annual Christmas reviews this year. I really enjoy finding different ones and ultimately talking about them on here too, but it can be really time consuming! The plus sign though is since I have switched up my weekly schedule for my posts, I think I can create a little theme of holiday albums in the middle of the week? I actually wrote out a list of various Blogmas ideas last year so I think I will have a look at that to see what else I can put on here next month.

Honestly, I think December will be a slightly hectic month as far as blog posts on here! I am really excited but feel like I might end up with a big headache at the start of the year too!

What were you listening to this November?

A-Z Disability Challenge | U : Unconditional Love + Support

One thing that is equally important to a disabled person’s life is having unconditional love and support from their family and friends. I have always had a large group of people in my corner and as blessed as I am with all of this love, I also know that there are others like me who don’t have anybody there for them.

I have been very lucky to have loving parents that believed in me, even as a baby! They are the ones that stopped the doctors at Riley’s, when I was a few months old, to operate on me to make me look ‘normal’ when there was a small chance it wouldn’t help me. They just let me figure things out on my own. Even if that meant, I used my feet for everything and was a wheelchair bound for the rest of my life. I have never given my parents much credit to this decision because it was a risk not knowing how this little girl would be able to do things for herself. Thankfully, I did learn things on my own or with some help from other family members/physical therapists.

I wasn’t aware of how other young teens or adults with various disabilities lived without this kind of love, until I was a senior in high school.

I wish the emotions I was experiencing had sunk in as I feel like it would have helped me understand loads what everyone in my family was trying to relay to me about their worries of me living on a college campus. Now I get why they were so concerned and agree that I was not ready for that kind of commitment. However, when my mom started working at a nursing home that had residents with various levels of mental disabilities, and the stories of some of them being left at the door with trash bags full of clothes and other stuff, really broke my heart!

I do understand that some people cannot handle some traits that certain people produce but you don’t give up on your family like that. A friend of mine has a daughter who is autistic. I have never met her, but have been around other children with autism in the past. So, I am familiar with their quirks and I give kudos to the parents out there dealing with a child like this, but I’ve heard of autistic kids being left behind or being killed because the families just cannot deal with them anymore. Those are always the worst to see online, but when you feel like you’re at your wits end, what is really your next step?

So, I have a questions to my fellow disabled readers out there, did you have a good support behind you growing up? Or were you basically left to be your own hero? If you said “yes” to that, how do begin to trust others that they’re not going to abandon you at the end?