This Isn’t Going To Be Pretty.

Well I’ve had a rough night and apparently today isn’t going to be any better. Last night wasn’t fun at all. I’ve got to say to the teenagers that are in high school wishing to graduate soon. You will regret that. I said that for all four years and I thought I was ready for a break from everybody. I thought I was going to go to college and still be able to hang out with my best friend. Well it’s been a year that I quit. I don’t regret quitting I just regret not doing it sooner. I think to myself a lot, and school doesn’t come up anymore. Last night I caved, I texted one of my dearest friends and she asked me if I was going back to school? She asks me this question everytime we talk. I’m not changing my mind anytime soon. No, I’m not going to school. I don’t know what I want my future to be. I replied back to her “I’m livin it up day by day.” Because I am.

I’ve had a rough night. I used my Twitter to my advantage last name. I vented and probably scared a few people because I was very pissed off. The whole conversation just made me mad. I felt like I failed at a lot of friendships. However, I’ve still got my Twitter friends. Who are so nice and sweet to me. They understand me and I’ve pretty much replaced my other friends with them. I don’t regret that. I’ve got a “twin” Breanna. I’ve got Stacie who helps me and talks to me about boy bands. Melissa and Rikki conforts me when I could probably break something. Tabitha, I help her and she helps me. Echo, he’s my bud. He knows what to say to make me smile. Mandy, who talks to me about everything. Alex, she’s got so much heart and makes me want to be more like her. They’re all I’ve got besides my family. I don’t know what I would do without them. I’m so greatful to have them in my life.

Distance doesn’t matter when you’ve got the internet sometimes. I’d love to meet every single one of them in their countries but that would very expensive. To the one’s in the US, there’s not much distance depending on how you look at it. I’ve just wrapped myself into thinking people can change. They can come back into your life. Right now I don’t them to come back into my life. I will continue to smile at them if they smile at me. I’m just so over being ignored by people. I don’t want to text people first all the time. I don’t want to be second in line. It’s not fun. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m done with hurting myself with feeling like a burden to others. I’m just done altogether.

Colorful Straws

Straws. To an average person, this would be a hard subject to talk about. Because they don’t have to use them all the time. People only uses them when they’re lazy. Kids use them to not spill anything on them. I can’t lift a damn cup and everytime somebody does it the regular way it usually spills on me because whoever is helping isn’t paying attention. Anytime I go to a place where they might not have straws there I take a couple and put them in my purse so I don’t have to worry about that.

One time I was at my nana’s house. I think I was there for a couple of hours I really don’t remember. My nana is always stacked with straws except for that day. She was out of them. Mom I think was going somewhere out-of-town and we just had to wing it. That’s kind of difficult when I drink a lot of pop when I’m nervous or if it’s in the morning and I haven’t had anything to drink since that night I will probably drink the whole can in an hour or more. Truth be told, after my mom came back from where ever she went we had a few spills but they weren’t as bad as what I’ve had before. For some odd reason out of everybody who had to give me the drink and tilt it for me and somehow spill is my mom. She is the only one with the worst track record. When she talks and does this, it’s going be cold within the next 3 seconds. She never disappoints because it always happens.