November Moodboard

Howdy!

It is time for another monthly moodboard!

By the time it turns into November, the leaves on the trees are turning various colors and falling to the ground. One of my favorite colors the leaves change into is actually red. To me, this symbolizes autumn. There is so much orange to embrace in October that I feel like any shade of red is a welcoming surprise. So, I knew what kind of theme I wanted to go for this time, and since I would look around the house for the previous ideas, I have stopped several items for this board.

The items used in this moodboard

Something that was a little shocking to me, was the fact that I had so many things at my disposable! If I had more room, I probably would have added them all!

The biggest difference with this one was the fact that I didn’t have a big enough bandanna to use for my backdrop. I asked my dad if he had any and even though he has tons of them, they’re all cut in half in order to fit around his head the right way. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use it in the way I have been, which sucked in a way, but all was not lost because my mom was helping me too, and while she was doing laundry, she let me use her Christmas kitty shirt she’s had for years! One thing you’ll notice with the pictures is that I didn’t use the front of it, because I thought it would overshadow the rest of the stuff on top of it.

The three largest next to the shirt were the Ritz cracker box, that was so unbelievably heavy for my toes, that as it was nearing the edge of my bookshelf that I just let it fall to ground. Since it was also brand new, I know not to be surprised for the many broken pieces in the packages! The second thing was actually a little present from my nephew the last time he came over. He walked into my room with the Hoosier back scratcher. When I finally got around to doing this, it had been on my floor for about three to four days.

As for the smaller items, I also had a package of UNO cards on top of my mini bookshelf that I grabbed, thankfully these were a lot easier for me to get ahold of with my toes and move to the space on the floor. The final piece that I used that came from my room was my little Spider-Man figurine.

At the same time, I was searching for stuff to use for this board, I was also rearranging my nephew Nolan’s bookshelf with several of my books. I literally had two projects going on at the same time! So, you can easily imagine by the time I got around to doing the photos for the moodboard that I couldn’t grip much of anything after the hell I went through with my books! Anyways, while I was already in Nolan’s playroom, I went and grabbed a couple of Hot Wheels cars, knob that belongs on his work bench and a single red ball (that you swear was orange in the pictures!) and placed them in my trusty bucket so I could just drag it back and forth between rooms!

And like that, I am done with this post! I feel like I should mention before I get asked whether or not I got any sleep the night after, I did! My mom and I worked so hard that we actually slept like babies. It was crazy! We hardly ever do this, but it was a big day for us that literally the next day, we both vowed not to work on anything. You ever get like this?

How do you like the color theme for this November? What should we do for next month? Blue? Festive colors of green and red? Let me know!

A-Z Disability Challenge | S : Sexaulity

WARNING: This mentions mature sexual content. If you are not comfortable in reading about this, I highly suggest you click the “x” button on the top right. This is an educational but personal post that I will NOT apologize for, it is very important for others with disabilities. Please respect what I have to say, and enjoy. Thank you!

Oh boy!

I think talking about disability and sex are very taboo topics. I should know considering it took my mom and I a fairly long time to even start having discussions about it. When it came to my sister, I feel like it wasn’t that bad and yes, I was there for the majority of that talk. For me though, I knew what sex was (I always have), but there were things that I couldn’t get my head around. Ha ha! Blondie was roughly 15 or 16 years old when she received the talk whereas I was 19 or 21! I feel like at that those ages, you should be somewhat of a pro when it comes to knowing things and of course having sex!

One of things that Arthrogryposis has basically taken away from me, is my ability to pleasure myself. I can’t mastrubate like other women. I have asked questions about this to a group of women who also have my condition and they’ve been helping me figure out alternatives. I also don’t think I’ve had a proper orgasm, but as I have been told, it takes a lot to get that far apparently! If you have a disability and worry about your lack of sexual experience, you know what I’m talking about, because you feel like you’re missing out on something that everyone is doing. You just feel lost in your own body and you don’t really know how to resolve this issue as a whole.

Honestly, I am afraid of having sex. As much as it excites me, because let’s be real here I watch porn and read erotica novels, and I response in the right ways, it’s the physicality that terrifies me I guess! I mean, I can barely get through a couple of seconds when I have to put vaginal cream inside my vagina, because you have to use a syringe and it makes me feel really uncomfortable – half it is because a parent has to do, mostly it’s my mom! This might be the other reason why I am semi okay with never been on a date! I’ve never had to really think about what happens afterwards; once I cross that line, how am I going to feel? I know it’ll hurt, but how much?

Last week, I watched Nikki Glaser’s Netflix comedy special Bangin‘ and oh my gosh, it was freaking hilarious! I am usually not a fan of sexual humor but the whole thing was funny! It was also shocking that she was talking about things that I have been thinking about for years! She starts off discussing blow jobs and I’ll tell you, I will NOT do that for as long as I live! What is funny though is that, it was the first sexual thing I ever knew about even before realizing it was a real thing! I still have no idea how I figured it out too. That’s still a mystery to us!

This has probably been the most freeing post out of all the other letter challenges! The reason why I felt like I needed to write about it, is because I know I am not the only one who feel like this! I think it takes a lot of guts to speak up about your sex life, and I just wanted to break out a little more because I am usually very reserved in my posts but I thought it was time to loosen up a bit.

How old were you when you received the sex talk with your parents? Now what about you had sex for the first time? Have you felt like you’ve been left out of the party of what everybody in your age group is doing in their lives?

Dear NaNoWriMo

Howdy!

Every November aspiring writers gear up to attempt to write their novel in the full 31 days! I have done this myself–or at least tried to–I made it through three weeks with no stopping but back then I would lose my spunk right in the middle of every month. It was annoying as hell! One thing that I can be proud of is that I lasted a lot longer than I thought I would, so that was a plus for me!

After that, I have wanted to try it out again, but for some reason I always realize this like at the end of October, so I always feel rushed to get things done to be able to figure out my plot and material I want to bring into it. By the time the month actually comes along, I have absolutely nothing and I basically say “fuck it”. This year was similar to the previous ones, I tell my fellow writers that I’m going to do it, when in reality I know better. There is one difference and that is for the story I wanted to write, I have actually figured out how I wanted to start it, which is something I didn’t have the first time around!

I hope everyone who are doing NaNoWriMo good luck on their stories! For me though, I think I am just going to focus my attention on my blog and reading books. My mom and I have caught the bug again, so we’re both trying to get through Demi Moore’s memoir Inside Out so as she flies through it, I’ll be trying to finish The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood and Home Work by Julie Andrews. So, wish me luck too!

Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year? Why or why not?

OOTD: Wheelchair Rapunzel

Howdy!

Last Friday was my birthday. If you didn’t know I had a blog post go up that day, talking about things that make me happy. So, if you haven’t seen that yet, maybe after this post you will go visit it and take a look at what I included inside?

For today though, it will be one of my favorite type of posts to create and that is an outfit of the day! It has been so long since I’ve actually done an OOTD it’s actually a first for 2019, which sounds so weird considering where we are on the yearly calendar.

There was really only one thing that I truly wanted for my birthday and there’s a special reason behind it too.

Although I have strong opinions on various things in the disability community, I have never belong to any of the groups. I follow my own path as everyone should, but for once I found a person that knew I was ready to accept my life for what it is, a proud disable woman. Alex Dacy is the creator of the company Wheelchair Rapunzel & Co. Even though I have only been following her for a short time, I love the message she’s trying to share with the world. We are beautiful, our bodies are amazing and gorgeous! We should be proud of our different shapes and sizes.

Alex recently updated her logo for her company a couple of months ago into this watercolor painted person in a wheelchair sign with a giant sunflower blinded into it. I would be lying if I Didn’t mention that sunflowers are my favorite, but it wasn’t the driving force to make me ask for it, when I really loved the combination of both the sunflower and wheelchair were on it, plus knowing it was time for me show off how beautiful I am.

Now it’s time to talk about the actual outfit.

On the Wheelchair Rapunzel’s website, you can get the same design I have but in the colors gray or pink. Since I’m not really a pink girl, I went with the gray instead. Honestly, my mom and I have found some common ground in my closet since everything that fits now is in that exact color! Where she use to complain about how much black I had in my life, has turned to gray! Anyways, this is a much lighter shade than anything I have so that was afferent for us.

As you can see the logo is located right in the middle of my arms. Thankfully it is large enough where they don’t cover a lot of it, so you can still the yellow of the sunflower and certain spots of the wheelchair too. For my legs, my mom was going to put me in my basketball pants, that are in the same color of the shirt but has a thick white strip going down my waist to my feet. These are one of two favorite pants lately, but I thought another pair I had would be a better fit. I hoped she wasn’t washing it or this wouldn’t work out well for me, but it wasn’t. I wore a pair of leggings that are a darker gray with what my mom described as “cobblestones” pattern throughout, which I could agree with because I have been calling them “floral” when they don’t look like any flowers to us!

Lastly, I want to say that as much I don’t enjoy taking pictures of my outfit indoors, it was extremely cold outside. When I got up that morning, I had a chance to see my kitties on the back patio doors, the ground had frost on it! It had snowed on Halloween too! I saw so many people say that “well, it’s snowing! Can I put up my Christmas tree now?”. I was just happy that it was sunny as crap on my birthday.

When my parents came in to sing to me “happy birthday” although my dad was telling himself instead, he does this with pretty much all of us! My mom gave me two packages of chocolate candy: a large bar of Hershey’s dark chocolate and a jumbo pack of Reese’s. However, my dad stayed true to tradition and brought me some nice flowers, and yes, there were three sunflowers! However, since I had a vase of sunflowers and daisies from the other day when my mom went to the store, these went into the kitchen because we are running out of places to put them in! However, we used as a prop for the pictures and I thought they were a great addition to the piece. For once everything turned out right that we may need to do this again!

Before I go, I think you should look into Alex’s story and purchase any of the shirts or anything else that she has on her site. Tell her Meghan sent you! Okay, I have to go now! Hope you are enjoying your Wednesday!

A-Z Disability Challenge | R : The “R” Word

When it comes to society, words can be popular among the different generations. In the 1960-70’s, the thing was “groovy” at least, I think it was! I’m basing this off what I saw on Scooby-Doo! Currently the word that everybody uses is “bougie” which I still haven’t learned how to use or figured out what it even means! This isn’t the first time this has happened so don’t feel so bad for me.

Usually the “in” words are innocent like this, but some are not. What everybody doesn’t understand is that there is a medical term that is running around causing havoc among the disability community. Something tells me that may already know what it is, but for those who don’t, it the “r” word. Retard in all forms.

It is sad reality when a word like this has the power to degrade so many people at one time without anyone’s knowledge. This is one of the issues of today’s society is that it’s become so popular that these young kids probably don’t even know what it actually means, much less care about it anyways! The adults are even worse, because sometimes it’s like a cuss word they say on a daily basis and can’t stop themselves from saying it. However, these reasons are even good excuses for anyone that has some sort of disability.

I wasn’t too familiar of the meaning or the history of it when I first started to notice it around. I’m not for sure how I found out about it, that memory has been stripped away, but I remember the impact was big, because I am a huge advocate to erase it from the public.

For a time, both my mom and sister said the word a lot. My mom is a nurse, so it was used to describe a few of her patients, whereas my sister was a teenager and it would just fly out of her mouth left and right. The fact that I was able to be enough inspiration (there’s another word I hate!) to get them to stop using it for good. My sister has even been telling other people around the two of us to not say it either and sometimes we get good response, so that’s a positive sign!

Unfortunately, I don’t think it’ll ever go away completely. It’ll still show up on films and the medical world will probably still continue to use it, but hopefully with this post maybe you’ll understand that even though something is in that you have to follow suit. You don’t. There are tons of others that can take its place. You can be popular in another crowd, and even respect people like me with not speaking about it again. Do you think you can do this?

28 Things That Make Me Happy!

Howdy!

Today is a very special day, it is my birthday!

I don’t know about you, but I still love birthdays, especially my own. As much as I really hate being the center the attention for anything, I can make an exception for this occasion. One day of the year for me is a great thing, as long as I don’t let it go to my head too much!

So, for this post I thought I would talk about the things that make me happy. However, I feel I bit off more than I can chew because figuring 28 things at once is a lot when you only have two days to basically get this blog post finished! Originally, I was going to make this longer with pictures for certain things but I figured a link of a post that goes along with it will work even better!

Here are 28 things that make me very happy!

I love spending time with my family! Everybody thinks they’re a comedian and the sole purpose in life is to make you laugh to the point where you have tears coming out of your tears and you feel like you could pee in your pants at the same time, The funny part is that my nephew doesn’t even know he is one yet!

Children are a real weakness for me, but Nolan has become my little buddy. He has a gentle soul and love in his eyes, but has a devilish side too!

Everybody already knows this but I am really into baby names! I have so many notebooks–both digital and coiled wire with paper–of hundreds of names from different countries and spellings! If you’re in need of suggestions for any reason, just let me know!

Something else you might know is that I enjoy blogging a lot. I was never successful at keeping a diary or journal when I was younger because I thought somebody was going to read it… Yeah, this doesn’t make sense to me either!

I love comedy. but I am very strict with it. I really don’t get this generation’s humor. I am just starting to enjoy puns after not understanding it for years! I will talk about my favorite male comedians soon, but you can go ahead and read my top female comediennes though!

Movies are a big thing to me. I like all kinds of different genres, but after some time of basically denying myself of watching romantic films, I am getting back into the groove. My list has increased in the past couple of years.

You know how much I love music! I am actually using the shuffle on Spotify, even though there’s no need for it because I enjoy almost every sort of genre out there. I have been really reliving my childhood days with the tunes I loved listening to back then. So, lately there’s been tons of rap music ranging from the early 1990’s to now!

As much as I hate overthinking, it does have its good points like being able to spot things that most people wouldn’t; the sort of connect the dots concept! This can translate to many different things for me, between the lines of family trees, letters of my family names, and music. I always find that watching Xenia: Warrior Princess and Evanescence’s first album “Fallen” were able to be my starting points into my love of both cinematic and instrumental music. I put them in separate parts because I like the pop-rock cinematic releases like what Tommee Profitt, Hidden Citizens, and Unsecret do, but of course I love Hans Zimmer and James Horner as sometimes I just want something with no words to distract me.

On Tuesday, it was National Cat day so you know I have to squeeze a little spot for our kitties! Even though we have nine cats, I only claim Stormy, Felix and Tavis as my babies. I love them all, but these guys really show me that they love me by staying around if the others are ignoring me!

A second thing that makes me happy about our cats is that I love when they make biscuits and purr against you. It is one thing I miss the most about not being able to sit on the porch with them, because they like to either lay out beside me or right in between my legs and drift off to sleep while I take numerous pictures of them!

Animals in general make me extremely happy! I think watching the Animal Vet shows like Dr. K’s Exotic Animal ER and Dr. Oakley Yukon Vet have helped me see that my fear in snakes and even some spiders is dumb. My sister was interested in sharks when she was younger and she saw through the stereotype of the Great Whites, she even made me see them in a different way! Although I on’t see this working on all creatures, more importantly, did you see I said “some” spiders above? There is no way in hell that I will be okay with all of insects but I can never say never though!

There are two things that I enjoy watching at Thanksgiving, one is Gone With The Wind and the other is Westminster dog Show. My parents and I have become a little obsessed with it in the past three years! We all enjoy seeing if our favorite breeds will win their group or the whole thing.

If you were curious which breeds were my favorites, they are: Pit Bulls, Siberian Huskies, Cocker Spaniel, King Charles’ Cavalier Spaniel, and Bernese Mountain.

I am hoping this is the final “animal” section but you never know! Birds actually make very happy. I think they’re all amazing, but I have always been into hawks and Eagles the most. When I was younger, I use to think that parrots and other tropical raptors were annoying, even though they were beautiful. Thankfully, I have changed my outlook on them. Besides watching funny cat videos on YouTube, my second favorite is bird videos!

Let’s talk about something else. Oh, it must be the girly girl in me but I love having flowers in my room. Personally, I have always enjoyed having them but I would be happy with fake ones than real. In the past few months, my mom and I have been displaying lots of roses, sunflowers and daisies. Hopefully by the time spring comes around, I’ll talk her into getting me some cherry blossoms and tulips because those are I love them too! My flower aesthetic board is below for you to check out afterwards!

Despite not liking drawing anymore, I really love painting! Whenever I paint, I feel like I can relax and go at my own pace. I still have the perfectionist mentality sometimes but I am not as bad as I use to be, so I’ll take that!

One thing I think people will probably freak out about, is my love of game shows! I definitely share it among my parents, but I feel like I took it to a whole nother level though because right now I have close to 20 episodes of Jeopardy on the “FUN GAMES” folder that I created several weeks ago! I have thought about talking about this on a future post, would you be interested in it?

Speaking of games, I am watching basketball again. The first Butler game to be televised will be on next Wednesday, which I am so excited but when I saw which NBA team was playing at almost the same time, I felt a bit crushed! This is my third year of watching professional basketball and I have cracked down on the amount of teams this season. I followed Ingram, Ball, and Hart to the New Orleans Pelicans, but I kept the Houston Rockets (even though I’m still unsure of the Harden/Westbrook tag team), Los Angeles Lakers, Philadelphia 76ers, Milwaukee Bucks and Boston Celtics.

This might scare you a little, but stuffed animals make me happy! I have a stack of “doggies” as Nolan likes to call them, by my window and I still want to get some shelves in my room so I can proud displaying them but more importantly get them out of the boxes in the closet!

On the day I wrote this post, it was the day before Halloween, so I think it’s only right to discuss my love of chocolate! I wouldn’t say I am a chocoholic but I can get some very strong cravings! Are you taking full advantage of the discounted candy at the stores? If you are curious about what kind I enjoy, click here.

I feel like I should have put this when I talked about music, but dancing is a favorite of mine! I must have been a dancer in my past life because I can definitely get down when I want to. After Blondie’s wedding, my dad and I could totally do it again if it wasn’t for our hurting bodies! 😦

There is something that might sound a bit strange coming from me, but I have been loving HGTV like crazy! It started after the announcement was made about the Brady Bunch house transformation. The date I was originally told that special series was to air was wrong but I got interested with Property Brothers: Forever Home and Christina On The Coast at first, but now I have switched to Good Bones as my main favorite! I actually use to make fun of my parents watching countless episodes of Fixer Upper so the fact that I have like four shows that I watch is karma smacking me in the face really hard!

Something that goes along with this is that I love making this, any idea that comes to me is very clear in my head, my only issue is how do I explain it to my parents, especially my dad because he is the one that apparently gave me this trait but the majority of the stuff I want to accomplish are all disability related. I am still trying to figure out how I can get an semi-large office desk either in my room or probably in Nolan’s playroom since he doesn’t really use it as much.

I have grown to appreciate organization and tidiness I guess as I’ve gotten older, but being able to decorate makes me extremely happy because it gets my creative juices flowing, and the more I plan and set things out, I can also turn those things into future blog posts. So everything kind of works together like that sometimes.

Photography is another love, but I think what makes me unique is that I enjoy coming up the set ups for my blog materials than anything else! I have heard of other bloggers and their frustrations over blog photography, you know I can agree with them on some things but for the most part whenever I am in the zone, I am usually very calm with myself. I think this came with the fact that I have to be in this trance so I can keep myself balanced in my wheelchair, because any frustrations I act out, could lead to disaster! I could fall out of my chair because I’m not focusing on my lower half of my body or worse I can get stuck in a weird position and would need help fixing myself. It might seem like a small thing, but I don’t want either one of my parents watching over me or taking the pictures for me so I don’t end up like that again!

Besides my foot writing and disability in general, there is a weird quirk that makes me happy and that is my love of leggings! I have become known for all of my different colors and patterns! I still love my skulls and there is a pair that is my favorite but unfortunately like everything in my closet they’re starting to be tight around my waist which SUCKS because I’ve had them since probably 2010 and I am not ready to part with them! It will seriously be a sad, sad day when it happens! I’m not promising I won’t cry but you never know!

Since we’re talking about fashion, I didn’t think I would say getting clothes for birthdays or Christmas would be something I would look forward to, but I do! The reason for it is, thanks to the fact of doing those outfit of the day (OOTD) posts on here, really changed my outlook on how I see myself. What was suppose to find a way to fall in love with my arms became something bigger for me, and now I actually look forward to dressing up–whether it’s casual or night out, I know I feel comfortable with my body. If you would like to read more about my journey of doing OOTD posts, you can click here.

I have talked about traits that I was given by my dad but I feel like I should mention one I got from my momma. She has ALWAYS loved books! When I was younger, she would hang out in the living room with her feet up while reading silently to herself with the TV blaring in the same room. This was never a favorite thing of mine when I was little, but at the age of 14, I really became interested in it for the first time and after a long break, I am back to enjoying it again! I like both physical and ebooks, but I have realized I read a lot faster because I’m not too worried about the pages flipping on me or not being able to lift it because it’s so heavy! So for my final thing that makes me happy is finding a good book to get lost in, and the one I’ve been reading lately is Wicked Beat by Olivia Cunning! You can follow me my progress and check out my other books on my Goodreads profile at the tab bar on the right!

Whew! We are done! So, I actually did it in the way I said I wasn’t going to, because I had no time! Technically, this wasn’t too bad to come up with and I think that was what freaked me out in a way. I love doing lists, but this was a long one, plus I included lots of information because I can never go the easy route apparently! I hope you enjoyed the post! Thank you for the birthday wishes too!

Do you still enjoy your birthday? If not, when did it change for you? Can you name all of the things that make you happy with whatever you’re age is? Here’s some advice before you answer, I think it’s all mind over matter!

October Playlist

Howdy!

This month has been a really good one! A lot has happened, some things were great while others were not, but things have been cooling down lately so that’s a plus!

I have been listening to Spotify again! I recently got a Fire tablet as an early birthday present from a very special person. I have been playing around on it a lot but the first app I installed on it was Spotify, because I was actually very worried it wouldn’t work for me. Luckily it did and I have been really happy to be able to listen to both new and old music again. So, the monthly playlist on there will probably be really long and I’m not sorry about it! However, I am going to keep giving you my Top 20 (okay, so it turned out to be the Top 22) tracks that I loved for October below!

Hate Me by Ellie Goulding featuring Juicy WRLD
Shameless by Camila Cambello
Swan Song by Dua Lipa
Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz featuring Yacht Money
It’s Like That by Mariah Carey
Black Widow by Iggy Alazlea featuring Rita Ora
Be Without You by Mary J. Blige
Graveyard by Halsey
Try Again by Aaliyah

Motivation by Normani
Dark Side by Ty Dolla Sign featuring Kiiara
Power Is Power by The Weeknd & SZA featuring Travis Scott
Serkland by Leaves’ Eyes
Lover by Taylor Swift
Back To Life by Hailee Steinfield
The Bones by Maren Morris
Hurts Like Hell by Madison Beer featuring Offset
Someone You Loved by Lewis CapalDi
How Much by Brianna Mazzola
Que Pena by Maluma featuring J Balvin
Reckless by Lacuna Coil
Newgrange by Celtic Woman

I really tired my hardest to keep it somewhat short, but once I started remembering all of the songs I’ve been loving on both Spotify and YouTube, it kind of exploded so that’s my best explanation there! If I can, I’ll try to post the actual playlist on my blog’s Facebook later today so if you want to listen or simply look at what I was loving this October, you can!

What were you listening this month? I’d also like to know what is your ultimate favorite Halloween song?