Top 13 Taylor Swift Songs!

Howdy!

Back in mid-June I posted a question on my Twitter to all of the Taylor Swift fans, on what they’re favorite ‘underrated’ song was by the lovely T. Swift. Unfortunately, I never got any feedback on it, but this came about after I had a great afternoon of listening to her music on both my iPod and YouTube. I felt there were a lot of great songs that weren’t as popular or in some cases made their way to radio. So, I thought about creating a blog post of all of my favorite songs from the albums that I really love the most.

Since Taylor Swift has the thing about the number 13, I figure it was only right to create this list of songs in that exact number. Also, what is coming up soon? Her new album “Lover” will be releasing next month. I am a little nervous, but that’s how I’ve been since probably “Speak Now” came out. So, we’ll just have to see what happens!

If I end up like doing this post, I might talk about my other favorites by Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Christina Aguilera, and others in the future. What do you think, is that something you would be interested in?


Cold As You

I remember the first time I ever got Taylor Swift’s album. Of course, I listened to the singles that were increasingly becoming popular with half of my friends at school, but there were two songs out of the lineup that I actually loved just as much.

This one was light, but had a mysterious tone to it. That’s what mainly drew me into it at first, but then after I actually listened to it, I began to understand the lyrics and I really thought it went well with my outlook of high school, especially around the boys. They weren’t cruel, I just didn’t understand why they weren’t looking at me more than just a friend. Now as I’m older, I realize how much of an idiot I was, chasing after these poor boys, but thankfully I can still listen to the song and love singing it.

The Outside

As the previous song has a sadder sound to it, this one is the total opposite. It’s a fun song, which is probably why I liked it so much in early 2007. I still have trouble figuring out if it’s a breakup or just a cheery song. I’ve listened to it for an awful long time and I’m still trying to figure things out! I don’t know if that’s good or not.

You Belong With Me

If there was a song that reflected any part of my high school experience, it would be this one. For about three years, this was my go-to, especially football season since majority of the guys I liked played it. The song itself has sports involved because she’s talking about being the one sitting on the sidelines while he was interested in the cheerleader type of girl, like my sister. Once I graduated, it was shocking how many guys that I liked, and who were even a grade higher than me trying to get with my sister. She was a cheerleader too, so it was like the song was playing out in front of me for a good five years or so!

Breathe

“Breathe” was a song that took me a while to enjoy. I really love Colbie Calliet’s music so I always thought it was strange that I wasn’t as into it. I do seek out the softer songs, it’s not very often of course, but I am a fan of them whenever I am in a somber mood.

This has the ballad quality, but it is definitely a lot softer in everything. At this time, Taylor was still making true country music, but with this song you really couldn’t tell that it was different from the rest, because of how gentle it was. I like to think of it as the calm before the storm, because it would two more albums before she felt ready to branch out of the genre and create more pop oriented songs.

Change

I don’t know about you, but I love really motivational songs. They’re not as popular as the sassy, breakup songs that she has made over the years, but they are great to keep on hand. As “You Belong With Me” became my anthem for dealing with the guys, this was my jam for getting through everything in life. Since this album came out while I was a Junior, it really hit home for me because I was struggling a lot with school work and everything in between. It sucked for the first six months, but I know listening to this on repeat helped a lot. It kept me on the path I had created for not only myself but for others like me. So, I endured the hell I went through, thanks to this song!

The Story Of Us

I am known to take forever to like songs or a genre. It does happen eventually, well sometimes! The album that this was on, I have never enjoyed as much as the others. She was increasingly going into the world of pop so I was very hesitate to follow her in that direction. Honestly, I still feel the same way everytime she gears up to release a new album!

I don’t remember how I got into this song, I feel like it’s fair to say my sister might’ve had something to do with it, but it also could have been playing on the radio suddenly and took a late chance on it; any of those are good possibilities! It does give me the same vibes as “Love Story” so that is one thing I love about it! You have a fast pace, but sweet type of song that a lot of people enjoy, some at the time it came out or years down the road!

We Are Never Getting Back Together

After I explained above that I am not the best at listening to a track and like it in that first try, I should probably confess that every once in a blue moon, I allow myself to dive into one and instantly fall in love with it. This is one of those songs as I just loved this song! Again, it was itching farther out of the country sound but it still had that sassiness that almost everyone loves about Taylor’s music. Another part of it that I really liked was how catchy it was, the lyrics were fun and you could be as animated while singing along as you wanted and not feel ashamed to show that side of yourself. It allowed you to let yourself go crazy, even though it’s a total breakup song!

Welcome To New York

The “1989” album was one that my sister bought while she was at college, she had a car with a CD outlet, so was still using the heck of it and I remember when she said something about it on her Twitter, my reply to that tweet was “Sweet! Please bring it with you when you get home so I can put it on my iPod!”

As with all of Taylor’s albums, I don’t like every single song on it, but the fact that this was first song out the gate, I was enjoyed it! What really made in a way was by the time I started liking it, it was being overplayed on the radio and on TV! I know a lot of fans like saying they loved a song before it became popular, I have found it to be extremely heartbreaking because if I hear a song too much and that can happen, especially if you’re not the one doing it to yourself. That’s how I’ve lost interest in a lot of music over the years unfortunately!

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Thankfully, this track was never made into a single. I could have this one all to myself, and I still relish in it every time I listen to it on my iPod. Yes, some of us still use those things!

I think I found this song at the perfect time because I was dealing with some personal things in my life with somebody wanting to leave and come back as if nothing happened. The first time it occurred, I was a wreck, and it happened again, this song was on repeat. I’m not going to lie when I say, I cried a lot when this song and those memories collided, but now I can actually listen to it in peace.

I Did Something Bad

Despite saying I have never liked every song off her albums, you definitely wouldn’t believe me after the next four songs! I really loved “Reputation” because of how dark and different it was compared to her previous albums!

As I don’t exactly remember all of my favorites after the first listen, this was one track that I definitely loved but I think it had some help as it was the third track on the lineup, after both “Ready For It” and “Endgame” so the pop-y, but hard hitting type of sound was still present, and I thought that was excellent to keep those vibes going on a little bit longer. I really enjoy singing to this, it brings out my sassy side a lot!

Don’t Blame Me

I feel like I would have loved these next three songs when I first listened to the album the week it came out on Spotify! Unfortunately, it wasn’t until they were featured on her Reputation concert that came out on Netflix last December. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched it!

I like this though, I really approve of the sultry vibe you get with Taylor’s vocals. They’re soft and it helps that the lyrics are easy to learn too, so it’s fun song to listen to by yourself and relish with the thought of someone who’ve been talking to, or in my case scroll through my Pinterest board of hot men. Hey, whatever works I say!

So It Goes

I was a little bummed at the fact that Taylor did not perform this song on stage, but I actually fell in love with it at the credits, so explain that one to me?

“So It Goes” has this sexy tone to it, and the lyrics really establish it as that kind of song but I don’t think its too much. I like the fact that she is shedding that goody-too-shoes image and unleashing this other part of her that is all woman. So, despite the fact that her audience is still young, she’s not keeping everything rated “G” anymore.

Dress

This is another one with a very seductive take, I am actually very addicted to this song! I mean, between the two songs, this is probably the most subjective track of my list but that’s what I’ve grown to like for some odd reason. The only thing I don’t like about it is how her voice sounds somewhat hoarse, as it is almost breathless throughout, and usually I would be fine with this, I just wish she’d let up on it a bit. Over than that, it deserves to be apart of this list!

Are you or were a fan of Taylor’s music? Do you have a favorite album? Can you number your favorite 13 songs?

What I Truly Feel About The NBA Trades

Howdy!

So, like every other person who watches NBA basketball, I have been really interested in the trading season, Well I take that back, I’m only interested in where or if my favorites stay on their original teams. That’s all I really cared about in the beginning, but once Free Agency kicked off I just started feeling like I was on Bleacher Report a lot more during the afternoon!

The main reason why I wanted to write this post was because I don’t have anyone that likes to watch professional basketball. My poor mom has to listen to me complain about the NBA all of the time, but when it comes to this, it basically goes over her head. If you are like me and without anyone to talk to about these trades, please leave a comment below!

The LAL/NOP Trade

At the beginning of the month we had the Anthony Davis trade, he made his decision rather quickly but considering he initially wanted to leave back in March, I think it’s fair to say he knew that if he was asked to join the Los Angeles Lakers, he would do it. What I didn’t expect was the six player trade off to New Orleans Pelicans for him alone.

When the announcement was made about Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, and Josh Hart going to the Pelicans, I was both pissed and sad at the same time! And on top of that, my immediate thought was, well what’s going to happen to Kyle Kuzma? Are they going to keep him or not? Honestly, I kind of wish he was part of the second round to go to Nola and I know that’s really selfish to say but I really don’t want to watch the Lakers for just one person. I did that after Brook Lopez went to the Milwaukee Bucks last season, and even though I enjoyed watching them I would rather watch a whole team that I loved, like with the Boston Celtics and Houston Rockets. We will have to see what I end doing once the season actually starts.

What really concerned me was that later that week, there was a rumor that the Houston Rockets were considering giving away Clint Capela, Eric Gordon, and PJ Tucker for Kawhi Leonard. I will be honest with you; I almost shit myself when I saw that! I think it would be a big mistake letting go of Capela since he and James are like psychic because they each know where the other one is on the court at all times!

As for Ball, Ingram, and Hart, I will be watching the Pelicans because they are my favorites. I also heard that JJ Reddick will be joining them too, but I’m having trouble figuring out if that is true, but I am okay with this although I think he was one of the best players on the Sixers team. They seem to have a great team altogether so it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the 2019-20!

Kyrie Irving & Kevin Durant Going To The Nets!

I don’t know what was more surprising the fact that Kevin Durant left Golden State Warriors or that Kyrie Irving was going to the Brooklyn Nets? I think both decisions freaked out a lot of people, but honestly there were signs that both would be leaving their respected teams earlier in the season though. However, after everybody found out that they were each going to New York, it was like the Lakers, Clippers were fighting for the best to become that super team.

These two were not the only players from those teams to leave either. André Iguodala and Al Halford both moved on to Grizzlies and Philly. I am looking forward to seeing Al in a Philly jersey, however I would have liked him to stay in Boston even without Kyrie because the Celtics are a big favorite of mine, and I think Al has a that veteran vibe that could be useful for Jayson Tatum and the incoming rookies too. Honestly, Celtics let go of good players such as Terry Rozier, Marcus Morris, and Aron Baynes that has really hit me hard lately!

Kawhi Leonard Leaving The Raptors For The Clippers

Do you remember when I said that Lakers and Clippers are biting to be the best team on the West Coast basically? I think it all solidified when Kawhi agreed to the Los Angeles Clippers. There were rumors that LeBron was trying to talk him into coming to the Lakers too. I guess Clippers had the better deal!

I think out of everyone, he was the one who kept people on their toes on where exactly he would go next. A lot prayed that he would stay with the Raptors for at least one more year, especially after he helped them achieve a NBA Championship! I also thought he’d stay with them too, but maybe he thought he needed to move on and see what he could contribute to another team like the Clippers.

I think I am finished with this post. These were the ones that really struck a cord with me. At the time I wrote and schedule this, there will probably be more that’ll make me either really happy or mad because that’s how it goes with professional basketball!

Are you a fan of the NBA? Why or why not? Have you been happy with the recent trades? Please let me know because I would like to know what you think of what has happened lately!

Depression | One Year On

Howdy!

It’s crazy to think that it’s been a WHOLE year already, for not only the presence of my nephew but asking for help to deal with my depression! I almost had forgotten about it, but something on Pinterest one afternoon, made me realize that it could be a good idea if I talked about my mental health and give you an update on all of that.

Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive and let go.

Overall, I think I’ve been doing really good. I am always going to have my ups and downs in my life but for the most part I am feeling great! However, I feel like I would be lying to you if I didn’t mention that I am afraid of going into July and August. Since I have so many negative memories of getting through both of those months that I automatically feel panic at the thought of them coming soon. I am trying to really keep positive though, but sometimes I just can’t help it, those visions are on a loop at the end of summer. 

This year has a lot of different meanings, between my blog’s 8th birthday, Nolan’s first birthday,  and celebrating 10 years as a blogger in October. I have had a lot of plans this year and the fact that I’ve had quite a few months with little as two posts in roughly 31 days has been somewhat frightening. I have been trying to let it go and so far that’s been working out great because I’m not putting too much pressure on myself to get things finished. I’ve been feeling somewhat zen ever since I accepted it. I’ve also been enjoying telling myself that you don’t have to set things up if you don’t want to right now. 

That’s one thing that I think my antidepressants have been helping me out with the most, keeping everything straight without branching off into a million different directions. I’ve always wanted to adopt a healthier state of mind, because my brain goes a hundred miles away with different things and it gets to the point where I get really angry with myself over being lazy but I think it is a good thing to slow down, watch a little TV and just chill out for a while.

My anxiety has taken a hint, and calmed down a lot in some unexpected ways, like for example, we weren’t expecting it to help out was my fear over the nail clippers. I have always been afraid of these damn things since I was little, but I haven’t been sweating like crazy or attempting to pull my fingers away of my mother’s grip as much so that has been probably the biggest surprise of all! I have surprised myself with how much I trust myself and others when it comes to certain things, like feeling I am going to fall because again I have had a serious fear of heights all of my life, but now I am so chill. It’s nuts!

I am better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.

Despite the fact that things are going really good lately, unfortunately, these pills are not a cure-all. I wish they were, because I have a couple more issues that I wish would go away in less than a year. I’ve been trying to find some ways to distract myself along the way so that I don’t give in so easily and sometimes that works, but then again it doesn’t. Thankfully I am a patient person and I love to learn to work things out better for me, so hopefully I’ll be able to get through some of these other things on my own. 

So, yeah this is my life one year on after accepting the help that I needed for my mental health and maybe come back to blogging full time again, because honestly I really miss it a lot! 

Have you ever decided to take anything for your mental heath, whether it be anxiety, depression, OCD, etc? How long  did it take for you to see some results? 

Nolan’s 1st Party!

Hello!

Last weekend we celebrated my nephew’s first birthday with a big party! It’s been a long time since I have been at his house. I told my mom that he had to been around three months at the time, because Brandon and I were watching Black Panther after it just came out on DVD. It was very difficult to keep my eyes on the screen and not on a certain little baby in the pack-n-play! He was surprisingly very good for us, until towards the ending where he wanted to be fed quickly and he wasn’t – he wasn’t very happy! He has yet to grow out of that by the way!

The theme of the party had changed a few times over the coming months, but ultimately they decided on one thing: Llamas! So, in March, my sister found him this cute little llama stuffed toy at the store for Easter and he apparently liked it so much that she set out to find other items to fit in that theme, thus making the entire party about llamas. The only thing that wasn’t in a llama shape was the cake, although she did try to find someone to make one for her back in May!

One of my favorite things that had llamas on it, were our shirts that Blondie found for us. Both sides of the family were given customize T-Shirts of a black silhouette of a llama with whatever we are to Nolan. For example, I am his “auntie” so that’s what I got on mine, but both of his grandmothers have different names. My mom is “Mimi” while Brandon’s mom is “Grammie” to him. I have always had a small stack of tops that fit perfectly on my shoulders and if there was a special design on the front, it isn’t blocked by my hands the whole time the stack was even smaller! I’m very glad to tell you that I can add this to the pack! You can see everything, I love it so much!

My mom and I were the first ones to get there. I was greeted by Chipper and the cats. Chipper was SO excited to see us, but the look on Nolan’s face when he realized that Mimi was the one waking him up from a nap in his crib, was so cute! He was so surprised! He looked stunned when he found out I was there too! We were there about 10 minutes before my dad and our “uncle” Russell came over. Nolan was very happy to see his papaw! He just wrapped his small arms around his neck (and beard) and my dad was all too happy to deny him. Nolan was a little unsure about Russell at first but after a couple of minutes, he actually asked to be held by him and it was so adorable.

They were originally supposed to have 30+ people coming to the party, but since we were under a Tornado warning all afternoon, we were happy with the small get together instead. It was an interesting mix of people though, the best thing was everybody got along perfectly! We ate food, chit-chat with one another, played with Nolan. Our friend Jayde, who is expecting her first baby boy later this year, ate around three cupcakes. She and I made a deal that she could have the cupcakes and I can have the broccoli. I love broccoli! She fully agreed to that! I’m actually shocked on how little I snacked though, because I’m known to eat quite a bit at parties but there wasn’t a lot of room for me to eat by myself or have my mom feed me easily without being in the way of little guy eating his strawberries in his high chair! Honestly, I made myself a deal at the end of the party, I was going to have one vanilla cupcake. I did get my cupcake, but I almost regretted it on the way home…

After everybody grabbed a seat, we decided it was time to open some presents. He got a LOT of interesting toys for his birthday! The first one that “he” opened was from his Grammie and his aunties too. Blondie opened the cards first, which is always a nice gesture even though they are usually the last present anybody ever wants to open, because they usually have a message inside that could make you cry in front of your guests. Nolan was another story entirely, he loved his cards! The one that his Grammie got him had shiny glitter inside the number one symbol on the front, so you could essentially shake it like a snow globe and everything will move around. He literally did not want to put it down! It was in his right hand during the rest of the unwrapping.

These are some of the gifts that I could remember of the party.

  • A small red and blue slide (that was wrapped in Batman paper! I loved it, and I’m not a big fan of him either!)
  • A large stack of different summery clothes.
  • Bubble making lawn mower
  • Tool bench and belt full of tools he’ll need to fix my ‘broken’ wheelchairs
  • A standing drum set
  • A big yellow truck to put all of his toys
  • Paw Patrol trucks with characters of the show
  • A book for bedtime made specifically for him as it has a blond baby named Nolan.

There were a lot more that you will see at in the gallery below. He will certainly be really busy making lots of noises in the next few months! My sister actually sent mom a picture of him standing at the drum kit in the middle of the pack-n-play without any help of the walls after the party was over! We’re getting closer to seeing cutie pie walking around on his own.

Once we were finished with the presents, we moved on watching him eat his smash cake. For this, he had to become semi-naked and as much as he loves being like this, he absolutely hates taking off his clothes! After everything was off, he was placed in his high chair again. I will be inserting the before and after pictures of the cake itself in a minute, but Nolan isn’t necessarily a messy eater, he likes to inspect things so he was really puzzled by this cake at first. He literally only would stick one finger into it at a time. Brandon quickly realized that we’d be here forever if he continues doing this, so to make things go faster, he literally grabbed Nolan’s hands and planted them right into the cake! Nolan was not sure what to do with all of the icing on his hands so he was literally shaking his arms but he actually accepted the fact that it did taste pretty good!

The part that made me remember that I am still teaching him things without even realizing it, was when he started leaning his mouth into the cake. As everybody was laughing and taking pictures at this, I was like “oh, crap!” Whenever I eat in the kitchen, he is at the same level as me, so he can watch me like a hawk, because I do lean into my plate so my tongue can reach everything. So seeing the now one year old mimicking what I do for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, was pretty cute! He was trying his best to get into it, to the point that my sister actually had to hold the cake up in front of him to reach with his mouth! He’s such a smart cookie!

Once he was done eating the cake–well, actually his mommy had to take it away from him! He wasn’t very happy about that, but after he was basically washed down with many, many wipes, he was rewarded with his new toys! He quickly went back to his tool belt and started waving it around in the air. This was also the time where half of the guests were leaving to go home. Russell and dad were one of the firsts to leave because we needed them to be ready to get back into the house, which was a fun mini adventure on its own!

My mom and I left about 10 minutes later, but we were going to get food from Applebee’s and it was roughly a 20-25 minute wait to pick everything up, we decided to go look at the expensive houses in town. I’ve been watching Property Brothers like crazy lately so this was my jam! However between the two of us, we realized how different our tastes in houses were as far as exterior design goes! I still love my ranch-style houses, but even I started finding some of these larger houses to be very beautiful, especially that Tudor house! Once our 20 minutes were up, we went to pick up our food and eventually made our way home!

I had an awesome time spending the day with a great bunch of people, and what I think really made it better was the fact that after the small storm we had, the sky actually perked up. It was sunny again, which was really nice considering how much rain we’ve had in the last couple of weeks or so! I also had lots of fan watching my little nephew enjoy time with each family and friends as well!

What do you think is the most weirdest theme for a birthday? What did you think of my day too?

A-Z Disability Challenge | I : The Real Definition of the Word “Inspiration”

Hello!

Today we will talking about a rather touchy subject, and that is the word “inspiration” when it is used to describe a person with a disability. I’d also like to say a warning before we continue on with the post because I tend to get a little angry with this topic, but only for that it’s super important to show others that because we have disabilities that we do not strive to be an inspiration to anyone. So, I’m hoping you’ll understand where I’m coming from as a person and be able to respect that.

So let’s start with the definition of the word, and I used the first thing that popped up on Google for this.

A person or thing that inspires.”

The synonyms include “influence and muse” and the first things that came to mind after seeing these two words were: art and blogging. An artist can have a muse or multiple of them for he/she to find a sense of creativity that might be lacking for a piece. Now anybody that is using a platform to promote a product is a Influencer, whether they are a blogger or YouTuber, that is the term that’s generally used online. These are real and true ways to describe a person, but it says nothing for people with disabilities, because there isn’t a word for us. We don’t fit in that box and that is the one thing we’re perfectly fine with too!

For us, it’s all about adaptability. We’ve had to find ways to figure out how to do things on our own without any help. If we want to be independent this is what we have to do in order to achieve that way of life.

Unfortunately, it’s usually the little things that gives us the most praise. For me, it was always my art or being able to grab things in various sizes with my feet. When I was in school, I did enjoy the attention I was getting in art class, but once I got into middle school, if you had the talent you were basically taught to seek out perfection, and whenever I couldn’t get there in the same amount of time as my peers, it really hurt me mentally. It actually took about three or four years after I graduated just to feel comfortable to do art again, mostly painting, and I never enjoyed doing that in school so that worked out well!

When it comes to doing things with my feet out in public, it always a depends on my mood, sometimes I don’t care who sees what I can do, but there are also times where I can sense somebody is watching me. Now I don’t mind children or elderly people staring at me or asking questions, but it’s everybody in between that annoys the crap out of me because that’s when I usually hear the word often. As much as I’d like to look at them and say, “I’m not here to inspire or motive you!” I usually give them a nod or smile to them because I know they’re not doing it to hurt my feelings, but when you’ve heard it pretty much your whole life, it’s the least compliment you’d ever want to receive, okay?

So what can you say when you’re standing or watching next to someone who has a disability that you find fascinating? Honestly, there isn’t the perfect solution to this, but my advice is you could smile at them. A simple smile to a person usually makes them happy, so if you notice something a person is doing that’s “inspirational” just give them a smile as a way to say “what you are doing is absolutely amazing!” This will make that person feel so much better, because you’re not focusing all of that unwanted attention on them for something that they had to learn to do at some point in their lives.

I hope you enjoyed this post and take my advice the next time you’re around a person with a disability. Please be respectful to one another, that’s all you really need to do! 🙂

 

 

A-Z Disability Challenge | H : Asking For Help

Yes, I am going to try to get back to my A-Z Disability Challenge! I have been kicking myself for not doing it for so long but I think I am finally ready to start on it again. If you have missed any of the other letters, I have them at the bottom of this post so you can check them out afterwards.

This week I will be talking about the notion of asking for help. Although it is a fairly popular topic of other disability bloggers and YouTubers out there, I think it’s a good idea to have many pieces out there for people of different generations in multiple point of views to help people learn more about what they should do if they ever found themselves in a situation where they want to help, but are not sure on what to say or do at the time.

I will be firstly talking about why a disabled person will probably never ask for help. It’s honestly a mixture of things, I think the most important reason is because we don’t want to look weak. We actually love doing things for ourselves. Every ounce of independence we get, we relish in it for as long as possible. However, the day it runs out, it is a heartbreaking day. For example, after I had my back surgeries in 2002, I wasn’t able to jump back into my regular physical therapy, we did a lot of moving around and my body wasn’t used to all of that yet. Our main objective for me to learn consisted of how to transfer from wheelchair to couch, chairs and toilet. I finally re-learned how to transfer again two years after I recovered. Unfortunately I never learned how to get on my bed by myself, which was probably the biggest blow out of the whole thing. I can scoot down off, but I do not have the strength to pull myself back up anymore.

If you were raised like me, you basically had full rein on what you could do, and it made you feel “normal” for once. We love to challenge ourselves in our daily lives. and being able to learn something new is the biggest drug we can seek out. Unfortunately, some of these challenges can be more complicated with some of our limited movements. So, we can sometimes be slower than not only we would like, but for other people too. I’ve realized in the recent years is that our families are usually the ones that have the lowest points of patience of the bunch for some odd reason! They don’t like to see us struggling, especially our fathers, so they want to “help” us. What they don’t know is that they’re doing more harm, as it is better for us to learn how to complete a task than leaving it for someone else.

I do understand the reason why people feel like they should help us. Even though you should always ask that person if you can lend a hand, we will try our hardest to make sure to let you know we don’t need you. Something you may not know is that we have a huge sense of pride within ourselves. Giving up on anything that lets us be like everybody else is the worst thing possible ever. So, when we can’t finish what we started, we will reluctantly ask for help. We will not be very happy with ourselves, but at that time it will be something that needed to happen.

I have always had a difficult time accepting help. One thing that I despise is when someone close to me will automatically do something for me, when they know I can clearly do it. I love trying to find new things to do with my feet, nothing really makes more happy in life than discovering new ways to do ordinary tasks around the house or out in public, but it does make people nervous, they think I’m going to get hurt, so they try to dodge that obstacle as fast as they can and yes, it is very annoying but you have to let it go and hope for the next time. You have to realize your patience is not the same as others so in a way, I think both sides need to keep that in mind when it comes to these things. It also ultimately depends on them on if they can learn to grow to trust you with the various tasks you know or learn later in life..

Here are previous letters and their links if you want to check them out now!

Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita | Building Trust | Be Truthful To Your Children | Dear Disability Community | Events | Treat Your Friends The Way You’d Want To Be Treated | Long Term Goals

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Hello!

So today is a very exciting day as it is my nephew Nolan’s first birthday! As far as I know, we are not seeing him today but this weekend we will be together, with both families, so that should be both chaotic and fun at the same time!

I really can’t believe it’s been a year already, I mean, it just doesn’t seem right. The memories of us being at the hospital past 1am waiting for him to make his debut is still very fresh in my mind. The day (and night) was a long one! Blondie was a real trooper though, she was definitely the one who was the most uncomfortable especially before she received the epidural, that’s for sure! I do remember she was absolutely terrified to have that done, which I would be too, but I think for her I know she didn’t like the fact that Brandon wasn’t allowed to stay in the room with her. Another thing I know she absolutely hated was how many times they tried to stuck her for the IV. Despite her love of tattoos and piercings, she really doesn’t like needles that much! So, this was not something she looked forward to by any means.

When he decided that he was ready to come out officially, my dad and I were forced out of the room. I was okay with this, because honestly somebody needed to stay with him as he was wreck for most of the night! He does not like to see us in any sort of pain, so his youngest daughter going through labor almost put him over the edge quite a few times! As we were making our way out, it finally came to me that once we leave the room, she wouldn’t just be my sister, she’ll be a mommy to a little human. It was such a profound moment for me, because I kept thinking in my head of the times we had together, growing up, and even though I quickly accepted her moving out of the house and eventually marriage to Brandon; she was literally giving birth to her son and my nephew, I realized how different things would be but I was completely at peace with it.

Once we were told he was here, we rushed to the door before telling to stay out a little longer, which was a little cruel because we could hear him just crying as loud as his little lungs would allow him. After like 20 minutes, we were told to come in, but the air suddenly felt different. Of course it did, a baby was just born! I think we were there another for 20 minutes after the birth before going home, but we were back the next day to take more pictures and hold the little guy.

Fast forward now 12 months, and he is a thriving little dude!

Nolan and I have formed a nice relationship. My nickname for him is “cutie pie” and when he was a tiny baby, I would literally sing those words to calm him into dreamland while he was on my bed . Sometimes it worked, while others didn’t, but that was okay! He still likes it when I call him that, everytime we FaceTime each other, he always breaks out a smile to me. He is obsessed with me! He likes to do things with his feet, and I really adore his hugs! He’ll just wrap his arms around my neck and just stay there a few seconds which makes me so happy considering I wasn’t able to hold him as a baby like everybody else, so this makes up for it entirely!

My dad has already told me that he sees us getting into a lot of trouble later in life. I can agree with that in some firm. However, for the most part I am pretty strict with him, especially when it comes to my wheelchair–which is another thing he loves!–I don’t want him to get hurt by tilting over his walker or “car-car” so I have to basically grow another spine and tell him “no” and that’s definitely not one of his favorite words, everytime he gets told that he’ll instantly put his hands over his ears, and make his pitiful face at the same time, so you instantly feel guilty afterwards.

Nolan is a smart cookie though. When he was about six months old he started pointing at things, that one index finger gets a good workout considering the amount of things he tries to touch and mess with, and through this we figured out he really loves the color red a lot. My seat belt has the word “PRESS” in that color and he knows if you push it, something happens. So, he already has that curious mind to discover new things. He loves a number of other stuff besides of getting into things he shouldn’t, like fruit, animals, books, and water.

When his parents first started him on solid foods, he wasn’t really into a lot of different fruit. However, he really loves bananas, blueberries and strawberries. We recently figured that whenever he says “nana” it isn’t for my mom, which she is called “Mimi,” he might actually be asking for bananas! It took us a few months but whenever we talk them amongst ourselves, he starts saying that a lot!

As far as animals go, when he was first born, I found this cute book that was about baby animals and it included spots of various textures, like faux fur on the bear, lamb, and lion cub. This is where we saw that pointer finger coming out because he loved feeling them. Since his household is basically a zoo, Chipper and the cats have grown to love their non-fur brother. Unfortunately, our dog ChiChi is still not a fan of him. She still growls and runs away when he gets too close to her on all surfaces! There are a couple of times where he has had a chance to pet her on accident when she is close to any of us, but it is always a brief moment between the two of them!

Lastly, he loves water! After he was first born, like all babies, they’re very unsure about taking a bath. He’s never enjoyed the fact that he has to take off his clothes and put on a new outfit afterwards, because he loves being a “nakkey-baby” so much, but getting into a bath is literally his favorite thing ever. Blondie and Brandon are still not very confident about letting him in a tub by himself, so someone is usually in there too. He loves to make waves and splash like crazy! He even enjoys laying flat in the water, and recently he got to go swimming in a pool and he thoroughly enjoyed that too! My sister was the same way, she loves being in the water for a couple of hours swimming and talking with friends.

This first year has flown by, but I have enjoyed seeing the transformation he’s made so far. I absolutely love him, he makes me excited for the future. He has a brought back a part of myself that I felt was fading away, so I owe him a lot for giving me my hope back. I also hope as he gets older he’ll actually want to watch basketball games, because we have yet to do that, blame Mimi because I frequently hear “he doesn’t want to watch that” on too many things I try to play on the TV. So far to her, he doesn’t like basketball, Ed Sheeran or Celtic Woman. I’m just trying to expand his interests in the best way I know how, and she is ruining our fun in that department! I really hope he doesn’t lose his curiosity and continues to be a very happy little guy!