Sugar Rush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These are just two of the cause of my hyperness today. It probably doesn’t help that I had about three cookies, one without both of these on it. I also a small serving of Cookie Dough Ice Cream beforehand. I’m STILL on my sugar rush. Even though I can feel myself running low on energy. Today wasn’t bad. Thank God I prayed last night to make it better than expected. Since I had pain all day yesterday I was kind of hoping for no pain today. Thankfully, while I was at nana’s I didn’t have very much pain. I can handle with some pain, but if I had the same pain as I had yesterday I probably could have killed somebody today. Even without the sugar, I probably could have. I’m glad we did this. It was out of our norm. I actually had things to talk about. I ususally don’t have anything to talk about with nana, we talk on Facebook so that usually ruins Saturday’s for me. We were crazy today, but in a good way. Emily came with us and had a Skype date. Mom told me before we went off that they weren’t going to be long this time with shopping. We got home around 5pm, she lied.

This weekend, my Uncle Rick and Aunt Linda come down on Saturday. They usually come down the weekend after Christmas, but this year we got lucky. It doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. For one, there’s no snow on the ground at all. All it’s been doing is raining. The second is because my family got a smaller this year. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the fact that things will probably never get better and I’m just going to have to get over it. Anyways, that’s my reasons for the crazy season. I’d upload a picture of the cookies, but the one picture I sent (on my nana’s phone) to Facebook is all blurry so I didn’t save onto my computer. The other picture that actually turned out right, I forgot to sent to Facebook. Sounds like me right? Today’s been a crazy day and I am very tired. I also got waken up by ChiChi this morning, so I’m very tired. I stayed up late tweeting. I had fun. That’s all.

Lessons Learned

Thanks to a mini conversation with my friend Becky on Twitter, we are talking about different perspectives. It actually started off talking about weather, and then I suggested we trade lives and that’s how the conversation started. I told her after a day in my shoes, her perspective will probably change. Then we got on the subject about how I’ve always thought that if I was ever taught to walk on my own (which will never happen) that I’d fall and break something and I’d never be able to walk again. Sadly, I had members of family keeping this thought inside my head and has never really left. I’d like to walk on my own, but with my own feet. The ones I have now. I had an option of having surgeries on my feet years ago, but it was ALWAYS my desicion, which was nice since I was so young and I never wanted them changed even thinking of everybody else and seeing them walk, run, and other things.

The reason why I kept my feet the way they are is simple. If I had surgery on my feet I’d probably loose my abilities with my feet. Meaning, the writing, drawing, driving, and everything I know how to do now. So that actually was my real reason to keep my feet. As much as I hate learning new things to do with them. They do let me do things and I don’t always have to ask people to do the things I do on a daily basis. I don’t regret not having the surgery or surgeries. After I had my back surgeries, I went back to walking with the walker and found it a waste of time because I realized I wasn’t really walking. I was sitting in a machine that had wheels and was just uncomfortable and rough on my feet. I couldn’t use it on carpet and couldn’t wear shoes or socks because I couldn’t get enough strength to go forward. It was always weird, and for some reason I always thought I’d be taller if I walked. I was wrong, It was a real wake up call for me.

That was step one in the right direction. I learned how wanting to be like everybody else was a waste of my time. Because I wasn’t even close to be like them in a million years. Middle school was rough enough and learning that probably didn’t make things better. In high school, it slowly got better. I wanted to hang out with everyone. That was my next goal and I was determained to NOT let myself down from that one and actually succeed at that one, but it didn’t happen until Junior year. The week before my 18th birthday. I hung out with my friends without my mom or sister watching out for me. It was weird, but nice. Now I don’t even have the same friends I had back then. It’s a blessing in a disguese. Instead of them making me happy, I have new friends and I’m quite happy at where I’m at right now. They’re all lessons learned. (:

Pain Equals Weather Changes?

It’s been one of those days where I can feel myself move kind of slow. From the moment I woke up this morning, something about today was going to be a little bit off. At first, I thought my day was going to suck but surprisingly it ended up fairly good. I woke up around 10am and I noticed that I was laying on my stomach and hands. Which is comfortable, but of course I had wondered how long I’d been in that position since my fingers were tinkling like they’d been asleep too. Anyways, I turned over on my back and I could feel the pain in different spots. I’d been laying like that for awhile that’s for sure. After I turned over, I noticed again that my head wasn’t on either one of my pillows. Which explains to my neck pain when I first sat up this morning.

After checking my blog, Facebook and Twitter I decided to lay back down since I was hurting so much. At first, it was just the neck and left shoulder area that bugged me. As the day went on, my back started to act up. Just really achey. Then my stomach. I kept thinking, “Really? Why are you hurting for?” Don’t worry by this time I had already eaten something and apparently didn’t sit well. Around 3 or 4pm, I finally decided to read my book and dad came in to check on me. Offered me part of my Candy Cane, like I need any sugar, but I had it anyway. Just to get my mind off the stinking pain. Then when I started reading my book, guess what started hurting? If you guessed my hips you would be correct. They always hurt when I’m reading. I try to prop up my Kindle with my TV remote so that 1) it doesn’t glare from the light and 2) I don’t lean forward so much. My eyes are not my problem! Its the dang glare that gets on my nerves!

I’ve only read about three times today. I’ve only gotten to 63% that’s lesser than yesterday, but since my mom told me today–or yesterday–that I wouldn’t get another book until after Christmas got me thinking. Having book withdrawals sucks, and knowing I’d have to wait about three days (which I know isn’t bad) is just mean. So I’ve been cutting down on my reading. Which makes my hips happy I’ve got to say. That’s the good part about it. Earlier, I looked up at my Calendar and saw that tomorrow is the first day of winter. Then that caused this little thought, “that’s why my body hurts.” Snow? My friend’s best friend is driving up from La and said on her Facebook status earlier today that everybody should hold off on their White Christmas wishes until after Friday, well I have objection to this. I’ll hold off on mine but if my pain continues I might go back to hoping. Just saying!