A-Z Disability Challenge | F : Treat Your Friends In The Way You’d Want To Be Treated

I know I’ve said this for almost every post, but for today it is really important. The topic I will be discussing is how you should treat your disabled friends. I wish this was common sense, but I guess for some people, they lack knowing how to act while hanging out with a person with any kind of disability in both private and publicly!

I am purely basing this off of my own experiences I had while I was in school, because this was the time that I saw anybody outside of my family really making the conscious decision to really hang out with me outside of having a sleep over and of course, seeing each other in classes. This was also the point in my life that I realized that I was truly different than my “friends” because whenever I was around them, I made myself forget that I was disabled. I wanted to be like them so badly that I never felt accepted to be myself, so I wanted to write this post for both sides.


I loved birthday parties! I enjoyed getting out of the house and spending time with my friends outside of school. Although, from the ages 7 to about 10, there wasn’t anything too major that we all did together. I never played spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven like most preteens did. Now whenever I had birthday parties and sleepovers, I was in a more controlled environment and everybody was basically forced to do what I wanted to do. After my 7th birthday and having over 20+ kids, that included a bunch of rowdy boys, came over to our house, I never had boys over ever. So, I never really had the chance to play spin the bottle like I really wanted to!

I think my favorite parties were over at Haley and Zack’s houses. I’ve been friends with both of them for YEARS! I met Haley in kindergarten, she was my first true friend and Zack’s grandparents lived really close to mine, so we’d see each other almost every other weekend. Anyways, I loved going to their parties. Whenever I would go over to Haley’s, we would be indoors, but when I was attending Zack’s, we were mostly outdoors, sitting by the bonfire, or at least I was. Both made sure to include me as best as they could, but there were a lot of things that they were doing that I knew I couldn’t do, so I felt conflicted a lot of the times, but whenever I’d get in that little funk, I’d end up talking to their families. I love both of their mothers, and whenever I see them, we’ll talk and hug each other!

Once we all got into high school, it was almost like, everybody was too uncool to have sleepovers. I had the hardest time finding people that wanted or had the time to sleep over at my house. I rarely slept at anybody’s house other than my friend Haley and with my cousin Kristi. There was a reason for this though, after I had my back surgeries I grew a lot both in height and weight,  in a short period of time, and it wasn’t until probably 2008 that I began to feel okay with somebody touching my back again. I was still pretty fragile by the time I hit middle school to the end of junior year of high school. This is why I only hung out at two people’s houses, because only two adults were really comfortable and basically took up the challenge to lift me up stairs, beds, couches, etc.

It wasn’t until the end of high school, were things really started to change. There is nothing like a broken heart, especially when it’s caused by your friends. Boys will come and go, but I think I cried more about not being to hang out with my friends. It was never like I wasn’t allowed to go out because my parents said so, it was the fact that nobody would do it. It wasn’t until my 18th birthday that I actually had a friend of mine, take me out. One person.

So, imagine the disappointment when I was told that I was going to get picked up to go out to eat with some friends and I never got a call or a text that said “they were right outside.” In that moment, I truly hated the body I was born in, because I thought if I wasn’t like this, I could be driving my own car, picking them up, and we’d be happy as clowns. Instead, I sat in my room permanently attached to my mom’s shoulder as the minutes trickled by and I received no messages.

It wasn’t until my mom basically said this is not right and packed us up, she texted my cousin Kristi to see if she wanted to go putt-putting that afternoon. While we were at a stop light, I got a text message from the same person I was supposed to be waiting on, asking if I was there already because they’d seen my mom’s car–still didn’t get the message that they were going to pick me up like they said–so I quickly realized that the whole thing was a big joke and that I got excited for no absolutely fucking reason! I know it’s been over 8 years, but I still feel somewhat hurt about this! Friends should never make you feel like that, ever! I can never literally look forward to anything because of this one outing that never happened. It’s okay though, my mom, sister, Kristi and I had fun at miniature golf anyways!

I do worry about these younger generation of disabled kids and teens, because I know how I was and how I dealt with my pain of never feeling like you are enough for roughly anybody. It wasn’t healthy and I know that now. It wasn’t until 2012, two years after I graduated from high school, that I truly began to really love myself for who I was. I started treating myself better! Unfortunately, I’m still not good at keeping up with my friendships, and it’s probably stemmed from this past experiences and other stuff. That’s why it’s highly important to always remember to treat your friends, whether they are able or disabled, like you would want to be treated.

The End.

Do you have any advice for the younger generations on how to treat other people? Were you ever put in the same situations? How did you make it out? Let me know!

6 Halloween Movies For Teens!

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Howdy!

So, this post will generated for the teenagers in your life that want to explore the mysterious and possibly a little blood for this Halloween! There is not a cartoon movie on it, and I did that for a reason. No teen wants to watch a kiddie film, but I also didn’t want to go too far because despite the whole rating of PG-13, I know some parents will not approve really violent movies either, so I’m hoping I’ve picked out a well-balanced batch of films to satisfy their ever-maturing tastes!

Beetlejuice (1988)

In my last post, I talked about the fact that I was influenced by my sister and our friends to watch several of the films I had listed, but for this, all but the last two, I fell in love while watching them with my mom. Beetlejuice being the main boss, and even now if one of us see it on our guide, we’ll record it. However, I wasn’t a real fan of the character Beetlejuice, he used to scare the living daylights out of me! As an adult, I enjoy the dark tones throughout the movie. The abstract art (I know) and how much black Lydia wore in the film, but my ultimate favorite part is when Adam and Barbara go down into the underworld, I don’t know why I’ve always liked it but I do.

This is definitely not a kid-friendly movie as I remember watching it before I was the age of seven, and as I said, I was absolutely afraid of it. There are still scenes that make me uncomfortable, but for the most part I can get through it in one piece! It’s really funny, all of the characters are different and add an comical element to every scene. So, this is a good middle ground film for teens.

The Addams Family (1991)

Here’s an interesting tale for you, I actually remember watching the old black and white Addams Family episodes on TV Land years ago! I’m pretty sure I watched them with my papaw but I could be wrong too. Anyways, the films are very beloved between my parents and I, I’m not quite sure about Blondie as her tastes have always been in the adults section compared to mine, but she could still love it I guess! I think the first is the best, even though I do think the attempted killings of the baby brother in the second movie are pretty hilarious! For me, I just enjoy the weird brotherly bond between Gomez and Finister, and you should already know what I think about Gomez and his wife Morticia. She’s one of the fiercest women ever!

The Addams Family in many forms is usually very fun to watch, because you don’t want to believe that there are people out in the world like that, but in reality there are! They are also in many forms all around the continent, but the movies that came out in the 90’s are still interesting despite being close to 30 years old now! They’re fun movies and should be respected as such I think.

Casper (1995)

I have never met a person who doesn’t love the character Casper! If I was a ghost, lonely as can be, I’d probably do the same thing he did and force somebody to bring me a friend! I think the film in general is so good, and definitely a guilty pleasure for sure! There are scenes that are real serious but the majority of it is flat out hilarious! My favorite scene is when Casper cooks Kat breakfast, and basically scares her for the second time!

I know if a teenager is reading this post and wondering why I’d put this on here, is because it does still have some ominous elements featured, such as death, performing exorcisms, and the downside to the haunting of ghosts. It’s a nice medium of in between being a pure kid movie to a young adult, mostly because for the rowdy and slightly mean uncles: Stretch, Stinky and Fatso!

Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire (2005)

I really adore the Harry Potter films, but I had to really think of one that could fit this list, and the only one that has always made me feel uncomfortable is Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire mainly because of the games and how disturbing and serious the ending was when Voldemort’s physical form was shown and of course the death of Cedric Diggory.

There is a lot of graphic violence in every movie, but I always thought this was probably the worst because it was the first time where a beloved character was killed off in the story. I feel it would be too much for a young kid to watch that scene because it is pretty intense. I’m not saying the death of both Sirius Black and Dumbledore wasn’t that bad, I mean, they clearly were to everyone, but this was different. The whole tone of this film was darker and got you ready for what was to come later in the rest of the movies.

Twilight (2008)

Twilight came out before the premiere of The Vampire Diaries so it wasn’t even on my radar until about 2011, and I finally gave in and watched it for the first time because everybody around me, family included, kept driving me crazy about who I liked the most and when I didn’t have an answer to their question, they’d freak out! However, I’d get away with it once they found out I liked TVD, so that was my saving grace at the time! Anyways, I think the first movie and the final part of Breaking Dawn are my favorites! They both have different directors, so there are scenes that I think are perfect to set the tones apart.

Despite for the outside vampires: Laurent, Victoria and James it is actually really clean. You do have to keep in mind that it is about vampires and werewolves, so you know there will be lots of blood and graphic violence involved. The first film is the ideal teenager fantasy based, especially if your teen hasn’t watched anything like this before. I don’t recommend letting them watch part one of Breaking Dawn for the sex scenes featured in the story!

Dark Shadows (2012)

I watched this for the first time ever last Halloween! I decided that I was going to watch all of the spooky movies that appeared on Freeform that year, and this was the only one that I actually liked out of the four films! I really liked all of the female actors, they all had strong roles but my favorite was Michelle Pfeitter as Elizabeth Collins Stoddurd, she was intimating as hell, but then again I’ve always said that about Michelle! She scares me. Johnny Depp’s character Barnabas was creepy, but I thought he was a funny guy too. I’ve always had a tough time watching a Johnny Depp film, especially when he dresses up in full make up and basically transform into this other being that you can barely recognize him.

This is a perfect vampire based movie for teens that I could find, because it wasn’t too bloody but it still had those scary moments that (maybe not) everybody loves to watch during this time of the year! It was entertaining and kept my attention, even through the many, many commercials. I also know that the network probably took out the gory scenes, maybe that’s the reason why I enjoyed it so much! If you’re worried about that too, it might be better to have your teen watch it on that channel too.

I am not going to lie, but I am happy to be done with this section! It was pretty difficult to come up with films that I’ve watched more than once and that could be counted for teenagers! I was always afraid of paranormal things growing up and I can barely get through Ghost Adventures in one piece as an adult, so you can just imagine how I was years ago! Before I finish this, I want to add a couple of spooky television shows that your teen might like to watch if they’re not into movies: The Vampire Diaries, Shadowhunters, and Charmed. 

Do you have a favorite on the list above? How were you watching more mature scary movies or TV shows like these as a teen? Can you name any more that could fit the criteria?  

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