What It’s Like To Be A (Disabled) Blogger

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Howdy!

Last Friday, I celebrated another milestone, nine years of blogging! I know some of you are probably wondering why I didn’t just skip celebrating it when it’ll be the big one zero next fall, but I think it’s important every single thing, big or little, that happens in your life. There’s also the possibility I may not continue blogging next year too, although that is not going to happen anytime soon, but a lot can happen between now and then honestly.

For this post, I wanted to give you an insight on what goes on as a blogger, from my point of view as a disabled person. I think it’s important to show you (someone on the outside) what I do on a monthly basis. Honestly a lot of the time I’m in a panic because I haven’t gotten one day of the week finished yet and my mind has already moved on to the next two weeks! It can get really crazy but I have made it a point to not push myself as a writer. I go at my own pace, sometimes it’s a little fast, but it’s a steady pace!

 

A Day In The Life

Where normal people have their laptops either placed on a table or on their laps, I don’t have that luxury. Mine is always at the foot of the bed so I can get to everything easily. I started going about it this way, because it is getting increasingly harder for my parents to pick me off the floor. I did try it on the floor a few times in the beginning, but it was very uncomfortable as far as how I sat on my butt and my back instantly hurt everytime I went to type on the keys. This other way became my only way to continue my blog.

One more interesting part to this set up is the fact that the laptop is not flat on the floor, unfortunately that is too low for the way my feet are arranged, so it sits on a mobile seat cushion that a person would normally use during sports events and even graduations! I’ve used two or three of these things in the last six years, and the one I have now is a beloved, family cushion of Indiana University and yes, I feel horrible that it is literally breaking at the seams!

You might see pictures of other people with their computers, they look absolutely gorgeous as they’re clean and polished. Well, mine is not that way at all! It has a lot of hairs and dust on the screen and keyboard. Hell, I’m even missing the letter “D” but like I tell everybody that takes a look at it, “it still works!” I do try to wipe it off the best I can, but nothing really works. Let’s be really honest, have you tried your best to clean your screen on your phones and/or reading tablet?

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You are probably freaking out that I actually shared a picture of it, but if I want to be brutally honest about my layout. This is part of it too. You have to remember, I use my toes to type on this, so they can collect different particles, sorry to the ones who are terrified of feet! If you had to use your feet to do everything for yourself. you’d be surprised what could happen! I mean, despite that, think about the ones who have to use pencils to prick the keys or maybe their tongue to work it, that’s a lot of different flecks from various places that get stuck in between those small areas.

Besides the laptop setup, I have two other things that I use to help me out on a weekly basis. My nana gave me a small bookshelf a couple of years, and I actually have a lot of fun organizing it, as I continue to get things to help stack papers together and make more room for other things too. This was a picture I used in the original blog post, it has now changed, but I’m thinking of switching it back to this, because it looks less chaotic! Anyways, I have everything from my pens to numerous notebooks placed in the two shelves, all ready for me to grab and figure out what I need to do next.

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I have a Styrofoam box that my nana used to get her meals delivered in a couple of years ago. We had one stashed underneath the kitchen table at my grandparents house, and she let me take another one home so I could have a makeshift table to write on right by my bed. I actually use for various things; like writing out ideas in my notepads or looking at my daily planner. I can even use to do simple things like read a book or place my remote on it in the middle of the night so I don’t have to worry about kicking it off the bed!

Despite all of this, blogging is still a lonely thing to do. What gets me is that the only time we allow others to join in is when we want guest posts, other than that we are the ones that do everything for our blogs because it could be we’d rather do everything ourselves. We update our social media accounts and network our asses off! We usually get whatever ideas come to us in different times of the day (or night) and they’ll drive you nuts until you have to get out your phone or in my case To Do List and write out a collection of prompts to keep in mind for future open spots.

Overall though, blogging is fun! You get to “meet” wonderful people that are usually trying to do the same thing you are and because of them, you can express your worries and celebrate every good thing that comes your way. Unfortunately, not everyone will congratulate you on your accomplishments, but there is always someone that will send you a “good job” comment or tweet that will make you feel loved, and I think that’s part of the reason why we continue to do it, because thanks to them, we’re being appreciated for our hard work and it makes everything worthwhile!

snowflake

 

My Worst Fear

anne

Howdy!

Today’s post is going to be a little interesting. For most people, talking about their worst fears would probably be a bad thing, because of the backlash that could come from family members and/or friends who love to tease them about it at different gatherings and holidays. Honestly, I don’t blame them for wanting to keep quiet about it.

People usually are afraid of “little” things like the ones I mentioned in my fetish and phobia post last month, but I actually have a fear of something that is slowly but surely becoming a “great engineering feat” in the world. Are you confused yet? Let me walk (or in this case, roll) you back to when I was in elementary school in the late 90’s!

I want to say I was probably in second grade when all of my classmates were made to sit out in the middle of the gym floor (except me) while we watched a little movie. Now it wasn’t a cheerful Disney film or anything, this was an educational movie for us kids. I vaguely remember it talking about different careers and what the world would look like with all of the advancing technology people were learning at the time. Surprisingly, this was a very stimulating film for all of us, even if the adults had 80’s styled, big rimmed glasses and denim jumpsuits with big hair to match!

One of the things I actually do remember very well, was the “possibility” of self-driven cars. Now to every single one of my classmates and even some of the teachers, this was pretty cool! There was a scene of a man, seemingly driving this crappy looking orange vehicle with his knees and eating cheese burger with his hands. The car just knew where he wanted to go and it took him there without him ever needing to control the steering wheel and feet controls, and it absolutely terrified me! Funnily enough though, the first thing that everybody says when this pops up on the screen, is “Wow!” Meghan, this is something you could look forward to in the future!” I was both amazed and insulted at that comment, because at the time I wanted to be like everybody else and obviously nobody believed that I could drive my own car without needing all of that!

Now looking back years later and seeing Ford create a self parking car. My worst fears were realized whenever I’d see those commercials on my television, and I have to say it absolutely made me feel like I could throw up everytime it came on my TV and on YouTube!

I should probably explain why I’m afraid of these self-driving cars.

It actually goes back a little bit further in my childhood. I was invited to a birthday party, and the girl’s family lived out in the country and that afternoon as we were leaving, it began to pour down rain–eventually it had turned into a medium size thunderstorm! My mom put me in the car and buckled me in. She went back into the house to call my friend’s mom about how to get there and as it continued to rain down overhead. I seriously thought the car was moving without my mom being in it and pressing on the gas pedal. It was the worst situation I had been in and unfortunately, ever since it happened, I’ve had nightmares of being trapped in an empty car and I am usually rolling down hills or just down the street. Every four months, I have a similar dream of being stuck in a beloved family car without a way of getting out!

I’m getting closer and closer to my thirties and it never fails to me that I can still have that fear. My mom probably doesn’t even remember the incident. and hardly anybody in my family actually knows about this either. I’ve always felt that it’s a stupid little thing that why should I share it? In a way, I’m still asking it as I write this post, but I might get lucky (sorry for your sake!) that other people have the same fear. They might’ve experienced a similar thing during their childhood and it’s played a bigger role in their adult lives. I’ve always wondered if that has something to do with the fact that I’ve never wanted my driver’s licences. I tell people all the time that I can’t be trusted with a car because of my speeding record in my power wheelchair, but maybe this is the real reason for it. I don’t think we’ll ever know the truth about that, but it is an interesting theory to make I think.

So do you have any “weird” phobias that you’d like to share with me? What have you done to try to face and get over them completely?

snowflake

 

When We Will Get Tired Of It?

My nana and I have some interesting conversations sometimes and there was one topic that I thought was pretty interesting, but it also made me feel concerned in a way because I have been wondering if I’d ever feel like that one day. Don’t worry this isn’t health related. This is actually about both music and movies in general. When I got into the band Linkin Park I was so into getting other family members into them and anything that they were apart of, Transformers films included. She has four burnable Cds full of their songs and she has even watched two of their Live DVDs as well. She has even seen their live DVD in Milton Keyes TWICE! My papaw wasn’t as impressed as she was, but she has kind of introduced herself into the newer rock bands because of I continue to talk about them to her all the time. I got her also into the second and third installments of the Transformers movies. She hasn’t seen the first one because I don’t have it on DVD.

Back to what I was talking about at the beginning, she and I were talking a couple of times about both music and movies. She had told me that she just can’t get interested in watching or listening to anything anymore. However, she still listens to Adam Lambert every night. That doesn’t count to what I’m trying to get at here. She said that every time there’s a movie on that she’s actually seen before; she just doesn’t want to watch it. Anything new that comes on the commercials isn’t interested her at all. I have tried to send her other bands and artists before like, Within Temptation, Celtic Woman, and even Five Finger Death Punch. Yes, I sent her FFDP songs. Don’t worry they were the censored versions. Even though she has said to me once when we were watching one of the LP DVDs that she’d rather know what the words so it’s not silenced out, because they no longer just bleeped it out. Even though that was annoying to hear too! Anyways, Within Temptation did work for a while but then it faded out just like everything else I shared with her.

Now I’m not judging her in any way shape or form, sometimes you need a break from things but the part that concerns me is that there’s a pretty big difference between her and my papaw. He mostly likes to watch old Western movies and black and white movies. That’s his favorite types of film to watch. When I was a kid, I would come over to the house and he’d just be sitting in the kitchen watching an old movie. In the fall/winter, of course he’s got to have his basketball games on and then switch right into baseball right after that sports season is over. He’s a guy; it’s easy to find what he likes to watch that’s on for more than an hour. I guess at a certain age, watching new films can get pretty boring. How much is enough? How many times can you watch a different remake of a classic movie? Music is the same way, there are only so many types of feelings and emotions a person can write about, also only so many ways you can turn words into sentences and turn riffs and notes into a whole song. I’m pretty good at trying something new, but even I have my limits, and that goes for both music and movies.

What makes a good film or record? I’ve always heard the word “talent” but it never specify who had it the most. I mean you’ve got writers who just sit in the back while the director, actors, singers, and producers take your credit. Not saying they’re all like that, but some don’t. I’ve seen a LOT of people get signed to both movie roles and musicians/singers get signed and not have a lick of talent or respect for others or themselves. They always say you also need to be original. We all know that while watching our favorite movies, they all go in some genre. Comedy, horror, romance, action, etc but yet a writer has found their ideas for their new something in another movie. It may not be in the same script, but its close. I’ve seen so many theories between two movies with having the same ideas, script, and plot. I mean, nobody’s being original anymore. The thing that bugs me the most is that I pay the most attention during the beginning of and the end of the movie. The last four films I’ve watched recently I’ve literally hated because it was either because of the beginning or the end that just had me spinning.

I feel like almost every genre of film has only a few original concepts left before it all just fades away. We have new filmmakers, writers, screen players, camera people coming out left and right every year and yet there isn’t enough new material making things fresh for them and for the newer generations to look forward. I’ve always heard of people complaining about how big classic are making their live debut, like The Sound of Music did last year. Carrie Underwood and Stephan Moyer had the lead roles, as this might be a surprise for some I have only watched the original with legendary Julie Andrews once and I vaguely remember it. So watching this version of it was new and bright to me, even though there was a part in the debut that should have been in there, but I still loved it either way. Now there is chatter going on with Grease being the next production of a live audience. I had read about that a couple of months ago and I’ve been a little weirded out about it, but then again welcoming to the idea if they cast the right people for the roles. While we’re on this topic of casting roles, the studios think they can find another actor to take on that role with only a year or two afterwards just get the newer generations interested. The only bad part about that is it kind of looks bad on the studios for taking such a big risk and the older generations lovers of these characters. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to take a break, but I’m talking like a five to ten year break to really give that character fan base a break in a sense and devote your time with another group of characters instead.

So my concern about my nana is that when will get to that point of just stopping watching new movies? Will I even go as far and even quit listening to music altogether? I don’t think I’d ever stop listening to music. I’ve got too many favorites, and I’m mostly talking about genres of music here. Artists and bands can depart and stop making music but somebody will always be there taking their places. In the film world, it’s been a long time for film in general as it started off silent film era, speaking era, color film, and now technology is playing the next sort of era for these movies as both the horror and action are bringing all kinds of different types of ways to incorporate things that haven’t been out in the world realistically yet. You watch movies like Back to the Future in the 80’s or 90’s and it gives you a sense of what might be there in a few years tops. Here we are, one year until 2015 and have you seen a Hoverboard yet? The only thing that I’ve seen is that powered laces will be on sale soon. If you like to watch these futuristic movies like I do, it makes you wonder what would change the most? Will movies be ruled by another era of something else? Will Disco become a popular genre of music? Will we get sick and tired by what we still continue to create on a daily basis? I have no idea, but I hope I don’t lose my hope in the process.

Making Things Easier Or Making Things Just Because We Can?

I find the fact with our new technology nowadays, people can invent basically anything and sometimes it makes you wonder, “why didn’t I come up with that?” Well, I have an interesting story to share with you that I came across on my Facebook earlier this evening. It was about the Upsee harness. Now when it comes to different things that makes other people and kids lives better, I am very on the fence about it. Mostly because growing up, I hated getting shortcuts (meaning getting different gadgets and other stuff to make my life a little easier) I didn’t want to take the easy way because I wanted to be like everybody else. I strived to be like the people who I was always around because there was nobody like me around to share the feelings of what it’s like to be in this life. I have had wheelchairs, scooters, and very annoying walkers. I think after trying out the walkers earlier in my life, they’ve just kind of ruined my exception of what walking would be like for the people I’ve seen walk around on their own two feet since they were babies. So ever since the discussion of walkers and such, has me on the edge and makes me slightly uncomfortable because I had an awkward experience walking for the first time. I think that experience though just embrace myself in the wheelchair though. It took me a few years to fully let myself go and be fine with how I looked like in it and as much I’d love the experience of just ruining one pair of pants or shoes, I wouldn’t change it at all.

However, back to the Upsee harness. A mother of a boy with cerebral palsy created this harness that lets a small child walk along side its mother/father/guardian and move the same way as them. For myself, accepting myself the way I am, I support this. When I first saw the pictures, I thought back to the days when my parents and grandparents would stand me up by my arms and let me take a few steps around the living room. It was so uncomfortable for the both of us and as I got older and bigger, I could no longer do that and that lead to the walkers. In the summer, we would put up our big pool and I would wear a floatly over my chest and arms and that was my only way to walk and dance on my feet. So seeing this just makes wish somebody had come up with this when I was younger. I would have used the crap out of this. I might’ve been to learn how to walk with my sister. Oh, okay knowing my competitive side and my parents’ nervous situations that never would have worked in my favor! Anyways, it is a harness that makes the child stand straight up against a person’s legs and they are strapped in and there are even little feet pedals (at least that’s what I’m calling them!) and they place their feet in there and it is lined up with that other person’s feet. They do every movement that person is walking with their legs. So if they are bending their legs up, the child’s leg is moving up too! It’s so neat!

Something that I have never been a fan of and I’m slightly afraid of what the future could be like for us with electric wheelchairs. Everybody should be kind of familiar with the robot legs that people can get nowadays. Now granted I’ve never used them, so technically I have no real say in them, but I don’t like the fact that a machine such as this is controlling how our body moves. I’ve seen the legs and the chair that is basically a regular wheelchair but a person stands straight up. I don’t know why, but everytime I think or see these things my mind goes back to the movie I, Robot and I feel like that people are using the technology to their advantage and making these new things like the legs and chairs, and to some people it could be a good experience for them. I’m just not cool with it. I like things simple I guess. I’ve learned how to move myself in a push wheelchair on carpet without falling off-balance (knock on wood!) and I love my simple four button and one controller electric wheelchair. What’s so wrong with using less of what we really need? I mean, am I wrong to be thinking the way I am?

What are your thoughts on the Upsee harness or the robot legs? Am I wrong to be using less than what the world thinks I need? Because honestly, I think they need to use the technology on how to make the world better for ALL of us and it’s not just how we get around day-by-day. We need to change a few things first, like curbs and public places to be easy access to us too. I think we’re going backwards, making the “cars” to get around first before fixing the places we need to get to. What do you think about all of this?

Here is the article for more information about the Upsee Harness and the mother who invented it: click here please!

Tron: Legacy Move Review

Last night, one of our movie channels preimered Tron:Legacy. The remake of the old movie in the 80’s. I’ve never seen the first but my dad has, and who wouldn’t watch this one because it is a remake. I’m not too picky about if movies were made a few years ago, because the technology back then sucked. Not much they could do. Now they can do anything. I’m surprise I’m even saying this, but this movie is better than Back To The Future Part 2.

I love everything about this movie. Jeff Bridges (Kevin Flynn & Clu) and Bruce Boxleitner (Alan Bradley & Tron) both come back to play their roles in the first Tron movie that came out in 1982. Garrett Hedlund plays Sam Flynn, who is Kevin Flynn’s son. Olivia Wilde plays Quorra, who is a ISO and the last of her kind. Michael Sheen plays Castor/ Zuse. James Frain plays Jarvis, who is Clu’s right-hand man. Am I tempted to watch the first one? Not now.

I’m finally listening to the soundtrack right now. I’ve been wanting to listen to it, but I’ve been forgetting like always. If you’ve seen the first movie, and wondering if you should see the second one. I think you should. My dad’s not going to watch it, but that’s because he’s stubborn. If you haven’t watched the first one yet. I’d definitely watch this one. It’s really, really good.