A-Z Disability Challenge | S : Sexaulity

WARNING: This mentions mature sexual content. If you are not comfortable in reading about this, I highly suggest you click the “x” button on the top right. This is an educational but personal post that I will NOT apologize for, it is very important for others with disabilities. Please respect what I have to say, and enjoy. Thank you!

Oh boy!

I think talking about disability and sex are very taboo topics. I should know considering it took my mom and I a fairly long time to even start having discussions about it. When it came to my sister, I feel like it wasn’t that bad and yes, I was there for the majority of that talk. For me though, I knew what sex was (I always have), but there were things that I couldn’t get my head around. Ha ha! Blondie was roughly 15 or 16 years old when she received the talk whereas I was 19 or 21! I feel like at that those ages, you should be somewhat of a pro when it comes to knowing things and of course having sex!

One of things that Arthrogryposis has basically taken away from me, is my ability to pleasure myself. I can’t mastrubate like other women. I have asked questions about this to a group of women who also have my condition and they’ve been helping me figure out alternatives. I also don’t think I’ve had a proper orgasm, but as I have been told, it takes a lot to get that far apparently! If you have a disability and worry about your lack of sexual experience, you know what I’m talking about, because you feel like you’re missing out on something that everyone is doing. You just feel lost in your own body and you don’t really know how to resolve this issue as a whole.

Honestly, I am afraid of having sex. As much as it excites me, because let’s be real here I watch porn and read erotica novels, and I response in the right ways, it’s the physicality that terrifies me I guess! I mean, I can barely get through a couple of seconds when I have to put vaginal cream inside my vagina, because you have to use a syringe and it makes me feel really uncomfortable – half it is because a parent has to do, mostly it’s my mom! This might be the other reason why I am semi okay with never been on a date! I’ve never had to really think about what happens afterwards; once I cross that line, how am I going to feel? I know it’ll hurt, but how much?

Last week, I watched Nikki Glaser’s Netflix comedy special Bangin‘ and oh my gosh, it was freaking hilarious! I am usually not a fan of sexual humor but the whole thing was funny! It was also shocking that she was talking about things that I have been thinking about for years! She starts off discussing blow jobs and I’ll tell you, I will NOT do that for as long as I live! What is funny though is that, it was the first sexual thing I ever knew about even before realizing it was a real thing! I still have no idea how I figured it out too. That’s still a mystery to us!

This has probably been the most freeing post out of all the other letter challenges! The reason why I felt like I needed to write about it, is because I know I am not the only one who feel like this! I think it takes a lot of guts to speak up about your sex life, and I just wanted to break out a little more because I am usually very reserved in my posts but I thought it was time to loosen up a bit.

How old were you when you received the sex talk with your parents? Now what about you had sex for the first time? Have you felt like you’ve been left out of the party of what everybody in your age group is doing in their lives?

A-Z Disability Challenge | C : Be Truthful To Your Children

Howdy!

This post is very close to my heart. Since my sister found out she was pregnant with my nephew, I wondered how we were going to explain to him about my disability. It’s kind of easier to explain to children in the grocery store about how came to be like this. Our go-to is “god made me like this” or “I was born like this” but I have a feeling Nolan isn’t going to let those explanations slide. I think it is important to talk about disabled people with young children.

I’ve never been able to hold him like everybody else because of my arms, so imagine the expression on his face when I started basically wagging them in front of his face when he was about three months old! He was mesmerized that these large hook-like arms that were just swinging back and forth. He’s been practically in love with them ever since. He has expressed his interest in my feet recently, one day he was on the couch and I started waving at him with my feet and he just starting waving with his foot! He’s starting to realize how different I am compared to his mom and dad. We have a special connection.

Children are both very curious and honest creatures. They haven’t been in this world long enough to see the bad unless they’ve been taught it since they were in the womb! They like to figure things out for themselves, and only ask their parents or grandparents when they’re a bit lost for words. I’ve seen a lot of kids in various ages, stare but also try to shield their faces so you don’t notice them. They usually wait to ask questions until I’m fully out of view, but I’ve realized if I tell them “hi” or I wave at them, they’ll just put you on the spot right there and you just have to go with your gut and hope their families will fill in the gaps the best they can after you leave. Here’s my advice to parents who would rather dodge this discussion because you think it might be too difficult for them to understand; if you’re comfortable then explaining the differences between a girl and a boy’s anatomy and/or race, then saying something how a person could be in braces from head to toe, standing in crutches, or rolling around in a wheelchair will be a piece of cake.

How do you explain to children about disability? Where do you stand on educating people on how to talk about some of the more common disabilities, like spina bifida, blindness, deafness, or even cerebral palsy to children at home or even at school?

Best Of 2017 | TV Shows!

Howdy!

I had a rough time figuring out when I was exactly going to put these posts up as there’s not much room between Christmas and New Years to put up more than one post, but then I realized maybe this was the reason why I only write three posts a week? It’s not, so don’t worry but it was a nice thought to have in the middle of the chaos though!

I’m doing the list of favorite television shows I watched in the spring and fall schedules. I do have to point out that towards October 2016, I basically stopped watched majority of the shows like This Is Us, Notorious, The Arrangement, Timeless, and Speechless. I felt as though I had too much going on at night throughout the week so I cut back on almost everything I was watching at the time. Once January came around though, I became very hesitant about what I wanted to watch. Thankfully everything on this list was kept me entertained and focused.

Victoria (PBS – Jenna Coleman, Tom Hughes, David Oakes, and Rufus Sewall)

I loved Victoria! It premiered on PBS I think either in early December or January, my gut is telling me it was early January though.

I don’t know much about the Havorians, I’m actually only just now learning about “The Mad King” and his son George IV and the regency era. I didn’t even know that much about Queen Victoria. My focus of British royals goes from Plantagenet, Tudor to the current family Windsor. This show gave me a lot of new information to digest, and I really love Jenna and Tom playing both a young Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. You get a nice insight of their lives before they were married. I actually can’t wait to see what happens in season two when it comes to us in the US next month!

Taboo (FX – Tom Hardy, Oona Chaplin, and Jonathan Pryce)

Now this shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody, but I really enjoyed this show. My dad and I don’t really watch the same shows very often but we did watch the crap out of this and it was nice to talk about a show the day after it came on. However, I would have to do it before he watched his Vikings because he usually was distracted by the series of events that took place on that show. Thank god for both Facebook and Twitter though!

This show was a bit of a mystery, some of the things featured in the eight part series, still confuse me. For it to be called “taboo” I don’t necessarily know what the taboo would be, then besides the incest part. I liked the creepy undertone though, I like learning about Britain’s gritty past.

The White Princess (Starz – Jodie Comer, Jacob Collins-Levy, Michelle Fairley, Essie Davis)

I had been looking forward to The White Princess after I finished watching the first series of the House of York kings in The White Queen. The show was based on historical fiction writer Phillipa Gregory’s about King Edward IV and his consort Queen Elizabeth Woodville,  and their oldest daughter Elizabeth of York and how life went for her after the death of not only her father, but her brothers and uncle, Richard III. And how she came to marry her enemy: Henry Tudor.

I ended up reading Alison Weir’s book Elizabeth Of York: A Forgotten Tudor Queen in January and this show started in mid-February. I actually finished reading the book like the day before it premiered and I will never do that again! I wasn’t open-minded like I was with the first one. They also butchered a lot of historical events to fit into this world and I think that was what bothered me the most actually!

The Mist (Spike – Alyssa Sutherland, Morgan Spector, Gus Birney)

 Before I start writing out what I thought about this show, apparently I should have swallowed my pride and watched it live because maybe they wouldn’t had cancelled it. Yes, it’s no longer on air, but it is on Netflix if anybody wants to check it out.

Considering the fact that two Stephan King movies came out this year, The Dark Tower in early spring and the classic It back in September, I’m surprised that this didn’t have a good rating. I thought it was creepy but maybe not enough for hardcore Stephan King fans I guess. Oh well, thankfully for me there’s a book that I can get now.

Midnight, Texas (NBC – François Arnaud, Arielle Kebbel, Peter Mensah, and Persia Fitz-Henley)

Just when I think I’m finished with the vampires, this show turns up! If you’re wondering why I said that is because this is based off of a book by the author who created the True Blood series. It wasn’t all about vampires, but it had almost every supernatural being that you can think of really, and as much as I liked this, I feel like this will probably be cancelled too.

The Deuce (HBO – James Franco, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Margarita Levieva, and Emily Meade)

As much as I liked this show, I never exactly finished it. I think I stopped on episode four, so that’ll mean I have about five episodes to watch.

You know how I said that my dad and I don’t watch too many shows together, my mom and I are about the same too. I recorded the first episode and she thought she had done it herself, so picture her face when she finally watched it. Apparently it was a lot more racy than she was expecting it to be. She wasn’t too sure why I liked it, but then again neither do I! It’s about the early days in the porn industry and somehow the character or characters that James Franco plays (because he plays a pair of twins!) go into creating the media world too. So now you understand why my mom was basically freaking out a bit, because it show quite a bit!

The Sinner (USA – Jessica Biel, Christopher Abbott, and Bill Pulman)

This was a surprise for me. I don’t have USA as part of my list of channels on my guide so the day I saw the previews for it was probably the week they premiered episode three. Like the one above, I never finished the series but I would only have to get caught up on the last two episodes though.

When mom was in the hospital recovering from her surgery back in October, she saw the commercials still circulating for the network. So she’s now interested, but yet hasn’t tried to rent or recorded them yet. I would like to see what she thought of it, but I fear she’ll freak out about the scenes with Bill Pulman though, if you’ve seen the show, you know what I’m talking about here. In a way, it goes with what I just explained above!

The Gifted (FOX – Stephan Moyer, Amy Acker, Sean Teale, and Janie Chung)

This is unfortunately another TV show that I have yet to finish. I’m really hoping that this is On Demand or Netflix, because I really enjoyed this a lot. The main reason why I stopped watching it was because the setting was confusing me. It is set when the X-Men have disappeared. You hear the term “Sentinel Service” a lot, so I’m guessing everything takes place if Wolverine wasn’t successful when Dr. Trask built the Sentinels in X-Men: Days Of Future Past. I pretty much like everything about it, the characters and their stories. It’s a little strange seeing Stephan Moyer and Amy Acker back on my screen again. I’m very behind it on it and I’m really not happy with myself at the moment.

Damnation (USA – Killian Scott, Logan Marshall-Green, and Sarah Jones)

The story is about the rich and poor, but based in the 1800’s. Farmers need to sell their goods to stores in their counties, to be able to provide for their families, but when the price to sell the stuff is too low, until an interesting man wants to spark a revolution to try to help the farmers. You see the point of view through both the farmers and businessmen throughout the Midwest and Northwest states and how they deal with the strikes.

I think after watching Taboo my dad and I have been looking for shows that either have similar themes or look like the show as far as the gritty, raw scenes. Thankfully, this show has everything that we both like! It has the unruly and yet historical background. One thing that I know my dad will be happy about is the fact everybody is speaking in an American accent. And the reason why I said “will be” is because he hasn’t even watched the three or four episodes in his folder on our DVR yet. He hasn’t even watched his newest Vikings episodes either! He’s been enjoying Netflix lately!

Have you watched any of these new shows yet? Did I miss any of the others? What else do I need to check out?

snowflake

REVIEW | Taboo

Howdy!

So I decided to change up what I originally had for today. I wasn’t necessarily happy with that post so I figured I could do something else and thus came this review! I’m only discussing the events that happened in episode 1.

Last week the channel FX premiered a miniseries called Taboo, a dark and mysterious drama about a man who was thought to be dead, comes back to the life he left behind in London, where his now dead father has him as a sole heir in his will and with a piece of land called Nookta Sound (that is located on west side of Canada) that is considered a “wasteland” by various people but the people of the East India Company want him to sign over that property to them.

The man James Daleney is a very haunted person. You don’t see it until after he makes it to the pub after everybody’s left the funeral. He sort of has an episode at the end of the general scene after his half sister and brother-in-law has walked away from him. The first episode is an hour long, but with the slow pace you are kind of left wondering about all of these people and their intentions, but I think James is the second most interesting person on the show. I’d like to know about Sir Stuart Strange, the chairman of EIC but I’m more into what and how James knows so much about the EIC and his father Horace’s actions towards the end of his madness.

My dad and I were originally going to watch the show together, but I wanted to watch it live with everyone else. The only bad part about it was all of the freaking commercials! Once you start using the skip button when you record your favorite shows late at night, you automatically become best friends with it. And like an idiot, I decided to take off my headphones about 30 minutes before the show started. The day after, I remember telling my mom that I thought dad should wait until next week (meaning Tuesday) to watch it as it might go a little faster, but he does like darker themes and like me he loves anything to do with Tom Hardy, who plays James Delaney.

If you can handle a little witchcraft or supernatual themes, then I think you’ll like it. It is very interesting. I am apart of the Facebook group called “Taboo Tribe” and we were asked to rate the first episode, I gave it an 8. I thought it was fair as it was slow in parts and you were mostly getting more questions than answers than anything else but it was a nice beginning!

So what do you think about Taboo? Are you watching it as well? What was your favorite scenes? Who are you most curious about? And if you’re not watching, does it sound like you would in the future?

 

Family Weekend

11745932_483581618485171_2264653509934462230_n

Howdy!

This past weekend has been probably one of the longest weekends I’ve had in a while! I spent three days and two nights at my grandparent’s house! Blondie and Batman were still in Hawaii on their vacation and didn’t get back until Sunday evening! And our folks had one of their bike rallies going on this weekend too. Unfortunately, this rally has a bad terrain for my wheelchair, plus the fact that it stormed and got extremely hot so I’m glad I didn’t go because I probably would have been miserable! So as a backup, my nana would babysit me for a few hours until my Aunt Laurie, Uncle Mike and cousin Taylor came down from up north. They came down as a “summer surprise” as my nana called it!

I was alone with my grandparents for maybe three or four hours which is normal for us! We kept ourselves busy! Poor Papaw couldn’t decide if he wanted to be in the kitchen or in his bed.. so imagine trying to navigate in a somewhat small kitchen with three push wheelchairs. Not easy! My nana and I basically ate, chatted and baked a cake! She likes to get those cake mixes in a box, and usually she gets chocolate cake–she did have that but had a craving too! She had my mom get a Confetti cake this time around. My nana and I are trying to figure out more things for me to learn. I suggested maybe learning the measurements, like teaspoon and all that! Cooking stuff! I mean, I watch these food shows but they hardly show you what to use, you know? I took Home Ed in middle school but since I was in a wheelchair, I couldn’t reach countertops and so our teacher/aides had trouble showing us those types of things in class. So my nana showed me a bit!

Besides learning the equipment to use in the kitchen, I got to beat the batter in the bowl. My nana doesn’t have a stand mixer or anything, she does this by hand! In a way, she was happy to have an extra set of “feet” to help her out! I also helped put on the icing and sprinkles, she mostly did that though! She gave me an off set spatula and I did my best of spreading the icing like Ina Garten, even I was a little proud of myself! I didn’t make it all fancy, but it looked great! How this all started, why I got back into learning (and sometimes re-learning!) things was after my nana had the idea of maybe I could use her small vacuum cleaner. We figured out that I CAN use it! It hurts my toes but I manage! Laurie and Mike got their around 6:30pm and a half an hour after they arrived, I had Laurie get me out of the wheelchair. So I mainly on the floor, scouting on the carpet (in shorts!) the whole weekend! My hips handled it a lot better than I expected! My butt was another story!

Around 9pm, we were all basically bored out of our minds already! We weren’t exactly tired but getting close to it! I bought a deck of UNO cards with me and we played two games, plus a tournament! My nana and I actually won a couple of them too! I was very surprised at her, she was very exhausted that first day. My mom brought me over a little earlier than originally planned, so she didn’t get to have her nap in the afternoon before everybody came over! She still made up past 10pm so that’s impressive! I actually got better sleep than I thought I’d get on that couch. The next day, Taylor and I were the late sleepers, I got up at 10 something, which isn’t bad but my mom sent me a “good morning” text at 7:30 and I sent it back about three hours later! I was tired damnit! Leave me alone!

That morning was a little bit of a blur for me! All I remember of it was Laurie doing my nails for me. I brought my new collection of polishes to my nana’s. I used the green/teal on my toes and the very light pink on my fingers! My aunt was going to have Mike do her nails, but then I stopped her with “I can do them” I’ve done nana’s nails before! I’m not as clean as she was with me, but at least I didn’t spill it everywhere! She got the teal/pink on her hands. My Uncle Mike got pictures AND video of it all! If I could post it on here I would, but I can’t. After that, we had a couple of cinnamon rolls for breakfast and about an hour or so later the next batch of family came down from up north. My Uncle Rick and Aunt Linda came bearing KFC for lunch and it was so good! For the next hour, we sort of lounged in the living room. I had been on the floor since I got up that morning, my butt was already feeling sore from rubbing against the carpet about a hundred times! Ah, scouting! It was its good and bad points about it!

I think they stayed there for two hours. We all talked, both Rick and Linda helped nana with her laptop, and we showed off pictures! A little bit into the second hour, we had ourselves a surprise! My other uncle, David and Aunt Katt came down too. Apparently it was a long story and I wasn’t present in the telling of it! It was so much fun honestly having that many members together and it wasn’t a holiday get together! When Rick and Linda left everything becomes a blur once again. I was REALLY tired that afternoon! That evening we played UNO and Taboo. We finally figured out how to play Taboo thanks to Taylor for reading the directions and explaining it to a bunch of tired souls like us! It was a fun time, lots and lots of laughs! I was actually allowed to come home that night, my folks came back early from the rally and asked if I wanted to come home. I told them no, we still had to play a tournament! You remember the saying of “too much of a good thing?” Yeah, maybe I should have went home that night because I could not sleep in that house for the life of me!! I don’t know what happened, I was sleepy but my brain would not turn off! It was like past 1am when I went to sleep!

On Sunday, I got up at 8am, when I usually get up I stay up sometimes! That couch was starting to not be so comfortable anymore so I was more awake than I wanted to be! Mike placed their air mattress a few inches away from the couch, so I didn’t have my normal amount of room to truly get off the couch in a comfortable way, I just didn’t want to wake anybody up and I didn’t! I knew nana was up, because I could hear her doing the dishes in the kitchen. So I made my escape through papaw’s room on the opposite side of the living room. I went in there and found nana on her laptop instead. I got on my laptop and she managed to wake up Mike in the process, didn’t get to scare him. However, when Laurie got up she was surprised to see me on the floor leaning up against the chair! I couldn’t help but laugh! I used to be the master at this as a kid! I guess I still got it! Laurie made two different rolls this time around, regular and orange. I’ve never had those before and they were so good, but tasted like fruit loops! It has an orange glaze on it! My nana got a kick after calling it a “glaze” I watch too much of the cooking channel!

Do you remember a post I did last year about my great aunts’ collection of spoons? They went to different places in the Midwest and up in Canada to get these little guys? Well, they also collected teacups and saucers too! I’ve heard about these for years and I’ve been looking forward to Laurie coming down so I could see some of them and take pictures. Laurie took out quite a few and I had to be the one to take pictures. I used Laurie’s phone which was a disaster! It was too big for my feet/toes to figure out, the pictures I got were too close and blurry! It wasn’t all a bust though, I didn’t take 100 of them so that’s better than nothing! Majority of the ones she brought out were made in England, but a few were created in China and one we found said “made in Japan” so that was cool! The next time they come down, we’ll try to get more out of there and divide them up between Laurie and I because my nana is willing them to us! I’m hoping there’s an even number of them! I think I’m hoping a little too strongly here am I?

A little bit before my mom came over, family friend Brittany came over and visit with everybody for a little bit. She was up early mowing before it got too hot! Wish dad did that sometimes! My mom came over about a half hour after she said she would, which is becoming a normal thing in our family now! My dad’s an early person, and mom isn’t. The whole day we did nothing but play games, talk, eat, and laugh! Which is always great for us! We all pig out and have fun! Poor papaw thinks we’re going to disturb our neighbors everytime we get too loud but no police ever comes to the door so that’s good! My sister was supposed to be home around four in the afternoon, but she had a rough time with her plane that they didn’t make it home until like seven o’clock! Everybody decided to leave around six and when we drove up to the driveway, the cats greeted us! All of the babies were at my feet, literally! From what mom told us, when she and dad came home on the bike, when he turned off the motor they all came running up and I guess dad noticed it first and said, “look…. this is not right.” He can’t say it wasn’t sweet that they missed them though! When I got home, I basically got the same treatment! I was sooo happy to be back in my own bed again but I guess not happy enough that I could sleep like a baby! I couldn’t sleep that night at all!! I don’t know what the heck happened!

I’m still very sad that it’s all over. Blondie got to have a whole week vacation and I got three days. I should be happier and I know my grandparents are happy to have their house back to being nice and quiet without having all of us around now. Didn’t want to leave this post on a bad note, but I did anyways! My bad! That’s what happened on my weekend, how was yours?

10982131_10153476719712520_8963568703787230612_n 65985_10153476659107520_2712195396254419893_n 11751929_10153476659037520_8859718186943499731_n 11753747_10153476659157520_736162248068335795_n11749694_10153479921142520_1059594242_n11741825_10153479921482520_1969531540_n11778047_10153479921062520_187172459_n11759531_10153479920927520_69071675_n