How To Substitute For A Swear Word

WARNING: Language

It’s strange how times have changed. We were taught as kids, growing up, hearing the words of others. If you had family members that talked with big words or cussed like a sailor, there was a big chance that a child under the age 10 was already saying one of those words. You would do everything in your power to make sure they knew not to say it, but for certain members were making them say it against your own will because for them it was hilarious! I have a story like this that’s similar and unfortunately, it’s about me. When I was younger, I would roll around, I hadn’t mastered the art of scooting on my butt so rolling was my source of getting to room to room. Well, according to my mom I had rolled myself into the kitchen, put my feet up on refrigerator and said “fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.” I was about four years old at this time and everybody in my family thought it was hilarious. The bad part about it is that it’s still a big story to tell amongst family and friends. In other words, I’ve gotten quite comfortable hearing it even though I have no memory of it. Thank god!

I was obsessed with words, I have always been that way! As long as they were small words I liked them. When I was in school I was in speech until I hit high school. I’ve been trying to figure out what I had trouble with, but I’m thinking it was the “R‘s” and quite frankly they’re still a damn challenge to get through. I can’t say the name “Jeremy” for the life of me. Anyways, in school kids were saying different words that mocked the swear words that your parents and elders practically banned you from saying in public. Well, I started in that trend switching the words “shoot” and “darn” from their normal formats. When I got into middle school that whole thing went straight to hell. Sorry, but it did! I didn’t like the words that everybody was saying, when my cousin was saying them I would tell her parents and then she’d get into trouble and then she’d get mad at me afterwards. Well, during my final year in middle school, I finally asked my mom if I could say the swear words. She told me I could but only with my friends and with her. The only word I was NOT allowed to say was any form of the “F” word. Unless it was in a song. My dad never knew I was swearing until that unfortunate text in 2010. That’s another story for another day.

After I graduated from high school and stopped hanging out with my friends, I started to realize how I wasn’t cussing as much as I used to. It was weird for me to realize this because I was noticing I wasn’t using the little words that you say when something goes wrong. Now I do say them on accident, but they just slip so fast out of my mouth that sometimes I can’t stop myself. Nowadays, I hardly say a cuss word unless it’s in a song and I basically have kept the “F” in lockdown after all these years. When I was in school, my sister was like I was to my cousin, she did not like the fact I was cussing and now it’s kind of funny that one year away from home and she had no filter whatsoever. She had finally joined in our family. I had the trait of clever comebacks and being smartass and she talks like a sailor. I have decided to share this because I wanted to show you how to stop cussing altogether. If you cuss in inappropriate  times and want to stop, this might be your dream guide. At least I hope it does!

To start you out, you need to change your words into similar words that would mean the same thing. So in other words, having those old words you used as a kid that your parents allowed you to use, work the easiest and you tend to use them more overtime. Trust me, this is what happened with me.

Shoot + Crap = Shit
Dang (it) + Darn (it) = Damn (it)
Freak + Fudge = Fuck
Freaking + Fricking = Fucking

Now we get onto the one word that everybody in my family tries not to use and that’s the “gd” word, this is only word that nobody says and if you do everybody calls you out on it. So finding ways to stop saying that one is a bit more difficult I’ve found with everybody. Between this word and the “F” word, they are the most common words used. I only use two words to save me from using it.

You can use “Jiminy Crickets” as the substitute easily because it’s two words and so it’s easier to release out of your mouth whenever you’re angry or frustrated.
The second word I use is “God Bless America” and I think the only reason why I have a habit of using this is because it has the word “God” in it and it’s not that big of a deal with your say it out in public. If you don’t live in America, you could insert any place you live. I tend to use this one the most out of the two, plus I use both sayings for the words “shit” and “damn” but only on occasions. Depending on what my mouth says first.