A-Z Disability Challenge | S : Sexaulity

WARNING: This mentions mature sexual content. If you are not comfortable in reading about this, I highly suggest you click the “x” button on the top right. This is an educational but personal post that I will NOT apologize for, it is very important for others with disabilities. Please respect what I have to say, and enjoy. Thank you!

Oh boy!

I think talking about disability and sex are very taboo topics. I should know considering it took my mom and I a fairly long time to even start having discussions about it. When it came to my sister, I feel like it wasn’t that bad and yes, I was there for the majority of that talk. For me though, I knew what sex was (I always have), but there were things that I couldn’t get my head around. Ha ha! Blondie was roughly 15 or 16 years old when she received the talk whereas I was 19 or 21! I feel like at that those ages, you should be somewhat of a pro when it comes to knowing things and of course having sex!

One of things that Arthrogryposis has basically taken away from me, is my ability to pleasure myself. I can’t mastrubate like other women. I have asked questions about this to a group of women who also have my condition and they’ve been helping me figure out alternatives. I also don’t think I’ve had a proper orgasm, but as I have been told, it takes a lot to get that far apparently! If you have a disability and worry about your lack of sexual experience, you know what I’m talking about, because you feel like you’re missing out on something that everyone is doing. You just feel lost in your own body and you don’t really know how to resolve this issue as a whole.

Honestly, I am afraid of having sex. As much as it excites me, because let’s be real here I watch porn and read erotica novels, and I response in the right ways, it’s the physicality that terrifies me I guess! I mean, I can barely get through a couple of seconds when I have to put vaginal cream inside my vagina, because you have to use a syringe and it makes me feel really uncomfortable – half it is because a parent has to do, mostly it’s my mom! This might be the other reason why I am semi okay with never been on a date! I’ve never had to really think about what happens afterwards; once I cross that line, how am I going to feel? I know it’ll hurt, but how much?

Last week, I watched Nikki Glaser’s Netflix comedy special Bangin‘ and oh my gosh, it was freaking hilarious! I am usually not a fan of sexual humor but the whole thing was funny! It was also shocking that she was talking about things that I have been thinking about for years! She starts off discussing blow jobs and I’ll tell you, I will NOT do that for as long as I live! What is funny though is that, it was the first sexual thing I ever knew about even before realizing it was a real thing! I still have no idea how I figured it out too. That’s still a mystery to us!

This has probably been the most freeing post out of all the other letter challenges! The reason why I felt like I needed to write about it, is because I know I am not the only one who feel like this! I think it takes a lot of guts to speak up about your sex life, and I just wanted to break out a little more because I am usually very reserved in my posts but I thought it was time to loosen up a bit.

How old were you when you received the sex talk with your parents? Now what about you had sex for the first time? Have you felt like you’ve been left out of the party of what everybody in your age group is doing in their lives?

4 Favorite Female Stand-Up Comics

comics

Howdy!

Since my absence on here, I’ve been finding interesting ways to keep myself entertained, mostly using Netflix to watch various movies and TV shows from all over the world–well actually, that’s a lie. They either based in Australia, England or the US!

For this post, I’m talking about comedy. I’m actually very picky and I’ve found out that in recent years that in every “funny” movie trailer that appears on YouTube, is most likely boring as crap! Bridesmaids was so boring. So because of this, I’m pretty hesitant when it comes to anything in the comedy genre. Now honestly, I think stand-up comics are different; instead of receiving a script for a role, everything is based on their real life. Of course, not everything that the person is saying is completely true, but if they can pull off the joke well enough, the audience won’t really care!

Unfortunately, whenever I go to watch a new (or old) comic special on TV or heck, even on YouTube, I’m actually cautious because of the fact that you have that underling feeling of not knowing is going to come out of that person’s mouth. I’m not highly sensitive to certain words or phrases, but I am concerned whenever a person is up on stage, mocking somebody with a disability of some sort. Luckily, it is very rare for this to happen, but there are a few people I do stay away from because I’ve heard them say something like that in the past.

I have thought about doing a post about my favorite male comics as well, but since my list on the women’s side is so short, I thought it would be easier on me to talk about them first.

Iliza Shlesinger 

I was introduced to Iliza in the same way as another person on this list. I love watching To Tell The Truth on NBC. I am usually more wrong than right, but I still enjoy watching it every Sunday! Anyways, I vaguely remember the episode that featured Iliza, I think she had short hair, and I just thought she was hilarious! I do remember her mimicking a sheep while asking a panelist a question and I thought it was weird but thought it was funny on how normal she would go into it and resume like she never said it at all!

I have successfully watched all FOUR Netflix specials, now that sentence wouldn’t sound so bad, if I didn’t mention that I watched four and a half of them in one month! She’s a fast talker whenever she gets on a certain subject, and as far as her topics, she tends to discuss feminism, friends, and sex. Iliza has a new special called Elder Millennial and she talks about being newly engaged (although now she is married) and the fact that she’s an older millennial. I think this one was my absolute favorite because I hardly had a chance to catch my breath before she would say something else that would hurt me so good.

Tiffany Haddish

I first heard about Tiffany in 2014, when we had the channel Epix in our package. They were advertising Jenny McCarthy’s comedy special called Dirty, Sexy, Funny and I guess I was really interested in it because I decided to watch it the night it came on, and I literally thought the whole thing was hilarious! Tiffany’s section was my favorite, although she was very dirty. Despite the fact that I am mostly afraid of awful disability comments, another one that I don’t like are sexual jokes. So the fact that I liked her enough to overlook that part has always floored me!

After a few years went by, I didn’t really hear much about her until she was in the movie Girls Trip and I remember seeing the trailer for that and thinking that this could be a good one. I also thought that about a similar girl-nights-out film Rough Night too and I didn’t enjoy that at all! Tiffany was really the star of this film but honestly her character wasn’t so out there (even though it was close!) the other actresses, Jada Pickett Smith. Queen Latifah, and Regina Hall were still prominent throughout the film. I thought it was a great comedy!

Ali Wong

To be honest, I hadn’t heard of Ali Wong before I watched her Hard Knock Wife back in June. I literally watched it probably a week before Nolan was born, and I’m not going to lie I was tempted to tell Blondie to watch it, but thankfully a couple of weeks later she finally watched it or caught some of it on YouTube. I recently watched her first special Baby Cobra at the end of July, but I didn’t like it as much as the other one, as she discussed a lot about becoming a mother to a baby, the downside of that and labor and delivery. The story of meeting her friend, who also had a baby, was the funniest thing ever!

After watching her specials, I don’t see anything about her but I know she’s a mother of two so she could be staying at home, not wanting to do any shows at the moment. She mentioned in her first one that she was a writer on the show, Fresh Off The Boat but I don’t watch it and unless she features on it, I don’t want to see it.

Nikki Glaser

I found Nikki through To Tell The Truth like Iliza, unfortunately they were on separate episodes which sucked because I think they’re kind of similar. Iliza’s more animated, whereas Nikki is somewhat laid back, but Nikki is also like Tiffany too, as she tends to talk about sex quite a bit. Nikki is just a unique individual!

What gets me is that I’ve only seen one thing she was in, and it’s a Netflix special called The Line Up where it’s like probably 20 minutes of like seven people up on stage, telling jokes. I loved her episode, but she was like three out of seven people that I literally enjoyed. While I was working on this post, I was actually listening to her stand up show “Perfect” on Spotify. I love being able to do that, although I would like to see certain things like facial expressions. If you’ve never done that before, the most important thing to keep in mind is everything is uncensored, and that’s much better than suffering through Comedy Central and the commercials and beeps!

Oh, and she’ll be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars, she’s paired up with Gleb Savchenko and I’m definitely excited about it. It should be very interesting to say the least!

Honestly, I’ve never been interested in comics that everybody likes, and I don’t really know why, and this goes for both sexes too! I have watched Amy Schumer before, but I feel like she can be a hit or miss sometimes. I have even tried watching her films but sometimes I hardly think they’re funny and it really sucks! I don’t even watch Saturday Night Live either, because I don’t like Tina Fey or Melissa McCarthy (except when she was on Mike & Molly) and again, I don’t know why it happens.

Who are your favorite stand-up comediennes? What made you like them so much? I’m always wanting to discover other female comics, so if you have any suggestions leave them below!

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