An Early Birthday Celebration!



This post might be super long because I’m talking about two very long days. So get ready!

Two weeks ago, I spent some quality time with my family. There was a real reason why almost everybody came down. My nana was supposed to have an operation but she ended up not having it, however several family members still came down that weekend anyways. After sleeping at my grandparent’s house over the summer, I actually wanted to do it again. Sometimes it’s great to get away from my room, parents etc and sleep somewhere else. I felt bad that my younger cousin Taylor would have to sleep on the floor and help out again, but he seemed to be okay with it though.

I went over to my nana’s Friday morning as my parent’s went somewhere, I don’t even remember where. It was great to have that hour with my grandparents alone before the whole house got crowded. Back in July, my nana and I made our first cake together. The whole thing was really about learning measurements and seeing if I could stir the batter in the bowl with my foot and I can! So after maybe twenty minutes of being there, I saw the cake icing and pan and I thought we were going to bake another one! When she told me she had already baked it, I was a little sad but then she kind of explained her reasons to bake the cake in general.

Every year, well now that I’ve been celebrating my birthdays either at home or some place else. My poor grandparents don’t get to help celebrate our birthdays anymore. So she figured we could celebrate it early and with Laurie, Mike, and Uncle Rick! I was okay with this (of course!) but I was still bummed she made it without me! However, she has this new attachment that she hadn’t used yet. She got it I think sometime during the spring. It is kind of like a pastry bag, I’ve never used one of those before, we were kind of curious if I could use it with my feet.. It has a pump in between the area where you pour the icing into and when you go to push it forward and lift up or to the side and it creates a very cool design. We used two decorative dispensers, the rose and I don’t remember the other one. I was in my push wheelchair and I hadn’t done anything like this before so I wasn’t expecting it to be as difficult as it was! Apparently getting both of my feet to work as a team isn’t such a good idea! It was fun though! The decorations don’t look too horrible. I think it looks like meringue. I did the white and blue peaks. My Aunt Laurie wrote out “Happy Birthday Meghan” on it since I barely got through writing out “M-E” I’ll try it out again soon!

This time around I actually didn’t have my iPod, Kindle, laptop or UNO cards because I managed to lose them in one month. I was a little bit bored to say the least, but decorating the cake kept me occupied a little. I went to sleep or tried to around maybe 9pm, I’m just estimating that because my nana doesn’t have a clock near where I was on the couch. This time I bought my own blanket and pillow. The blanket part was genius, the pillow not so much. Mine is apparently too flat and it was so uncomfortable for my neck. I actually didn’t get much sleep that night but it wasn’t because of my paranoia, it was because my Uncle Mike kept snoring. At my house, my dad is the one who snores and even though our walls are pretty thin, there’s still a wall keeping those rooms separate. In other words, with the right fan or having a TV on you can’t hardly hear him. It was WAY too quiet in that living room even after he got up to go to the bathroom. I got up at 8am and I was so exhausted! The only person who slept in was Taylor. Lucky little boy!

My nana got up and made rolls: cinnamon and orange rolls. I actually had an orange roll, it was sooo good! I had been dreaming of them for the past couple of weeks so this was worth it! I still can’t believe Laurie converted me because I LOVE my cinnamon rolls. My Uncle Rick was to come down at noon so we got food from the store in town, chicken and mashed potatoes. I had chicken and broccoli and celery to eat. Doesn’t sound very good, but I certainly loved it! My papaw had the TV on a local channel that had a soccer game on it. I haven’t watched a soccer game since 2013 when Blondie played during her senior year. I don’t know anything about it, she tried to explain it to us when she played but I think it went over my head like every other sport usually does to me. However, I was actually into it. The teams were Watland (totally butchered the name up, sorry!) against Arsenal. I have to say Aaron Ramsay is freaking cute! Now, don’t think that because I thought he was cute was the reason why I was so into it. I mean, it was one of the reasons but 3 days later I finally found out who won it. We didn’t see the ending of the game because Laurie and Mike took Taylor and I to Wal-Mart. Uncle Rick stayed behind to help my nana with her new laptop, poor guy!

When we came back we worked on this little Halloween DIY project. I thought my nana would be more into it but they were still working on it. After we were finished, I used the reminder of the foam board to take pictures of the nail polishes I got at Wal-Mart. That post went up last week if you missed it! My mom, Blondie and Batman had to work over the weekend. Myy mom said they would be over at 6pm. I was extremely tired and a bit overwhelmed so I decided to lay down on the floor for a bit. That was actually more comforting than I thought! I actually spent less time on the floor and when my mom came over, she put me back in the wheelchair and I guess I was too close to my nana’s cart because when she went to lift me up off the floor I bumped the side of my head in the process and then we started laughing. Bad, bad idea!

I actually had plans to stay another night, but whenever my mom found out that Laurie was leaving around noon the next day, she and I decided I needed to go home that evening. Honestly I was perfectly okay with this. I needed to sleep in my own bed with my fan again. I had a lot of fun though!! Laurie said they might be back for Christmas instead of Thanksgiving this year. That’s okay because I think my mom might be working that holiday so we might be celebrating on Black Friday like we did last year!

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Five Sentence Fiction: Waiting



What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction. I’ve decided to write a little bit of how my mornings seem to work out during the times where I can’t sleep worth a shit. This is what happened this morning actually. 

This week: WAITING

My nights start the annoying game of lying in bed and hearing the TV blaring behind my back, my paranoia kicks on if I turn it over and then the bad dreams play on in my head, whatever little phobia I hear laughter going through my brain and haunts me for the next two hours.

I lay awake only to hear Fraiser on my TV, I’ve seen the episode about three times and everytime I see Niles act like a little girl over Daphne, it makes me sad that I haven’t met my own Niles Crane, but then again I think to myself I don’t want to date someone who will always analyze my thoughts and feelings.

It’s now four hours and counting since I’ve closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, my mom gets up in an hour, I decide to lay in my bed in silence and when the hour is up and I see the bathroom light go on, I hope she comes in to take me to the bathroom before she leaves to go to work.

When the bathroom light comes on for the second time, the shower starts to run and my body starts to relax, when she finally comes in, and gets me another drink in case I decide to stay awake, after being awake for seven hours I hoped to finally get back to sleep.

When she leaves, the light from outside gets more clear in between my blinds, dad and ChiChi have finally decided that it was time to go back to bed and sleep in the pink blankie, I still lie on my bed wondering how in the hell I will finally break this damn insomnia, between thinking about it and closing my eyes at the same time I drift off to dreamland and regret waking up again at noon or two in the afternoon.


Top 3: Indie

UntitledI’ve been getting into a lot of Indie music lately. I love to listen to Indie music whenever the artists and/or bands are already soft, calm, and sometimes dark whenever I’m feeling the same way. I’ve had a few days were I’ve been feeling pretty crappy. I’ve tried to keep myself energetic as I possibly can but it’s being a pain in the ass when your body is too lazy. Yesterday, it was such a struggle getting myself to sit up for more than an hour. I wasn’t in the mood to read, watch TV, I barely had enough energy to listen to music that’s how crazy it all is, if I’m denying any kind of music at all, you know something’s wrong with me. Most of my problem is the fact that I’ve lost my will to sleep. My whole pattern is messed up, getting it back on track is also a pain in the ass! I’m getting tired of sleeping in til noon or two in the afternoon, but after I’ve stayed up for half of the night after getting maybe two hours of sleep, even flickering my eyes open to roll over in my bed, makes me wanna go back to sleep. I’m weak that’s all there’s to it. If I can get myself to stay up all night and all day that next day, then I could probably get it all back on track where I wouldn’t feel like crap all day long and I’d actually be happy to do things again.

I’m surprised that NONE of the mellowish music that I have on my playlist on Spotify cures my problem because majority of the music on there is fairly simple and sweet – gentle and lullaby-like. I’ve decided to start a new series that represents something with me on Thursday’s, Since I’m talking about music, I thought I’d start there. There are different artists and groups that I’ve slowly gotten into recently, but there a couple that I love and have loved for years it seems like Plumb and Dido. They really started the playlist for me. Anything that sounds like Dido’s music in a way can do wonders with me. If I could get away with listening to this type of music at night without learning the words and just letting myself drift off to dreamland, that basically cure any problems I have I would imagine. Do you have a specific genre of music were you can listen to at night and just completely shut off the world and let it take over your senses and muscles to the point were you’re lifeless but awake? I do and the top three artists and groups are:

  1. Banks – I am a newly fan of the California native, Banks. I was actually not a fan of her in the beginning because I thought she looked too much like Sara Bareilles. I was introduced to her music by another blogger, I skimmed through the post and was not yet hooked to anything in particular yet. Somehow I heard “Before I Met You” on one of the Sirius XM radio stations or just on a TV show I don’t remember, all I remember was feeling connected to her low voice and the soft but dark beat of the song. From there, I went on my Spotify and just started listening to her released singles and EPs. I hate myself for never giving her a chance at first but I’m glad I was given a second chance and saw the light. I’m all ready for September when her debut album comes out. Thank God!
  2. Zella Day – Zella Day, I found her on accident. I was searching for new music in May, going through the new music releases on Spotify and the song “Sweet Ophelia” showed up first and I was hooked as soon as it started. It wasn’t just the beat of the song that made me melt, her vocals were so strong but gentle. It was a catchy song, easy to remember all of the lyrics of the song. I’m ready for my next iTunes card, because I’m buying the rest that I don’t have yet but maybe I can hold out until her new EP comes out.
  3. London Grammar – This band consists of three members, Hannah, Dan, and Dot. They were another I found on accident, I was really looking for soft and calming songs, very Indie honestly. The song “Strong” began to play and the different sounds of the guitars gave me a very interesting feeling, I was hoping it wasn’t going to be too upbeat because I am a lover of songs starting off slow and then end up getting more and more uptempo. This song was a good balance of the two, I think the only reason it has that kind of balance is because of the girl’s voice, it’s very low but also high in a way too. I even have a little bit of trouble getting MY voice to go back and forth, she does sound a bit like Florence Walsh of Florence + The Machine but I feel like Hannah’s voice is stronger than Florence’s in a way. It’s hard to explain and I’m not about to start a debate of how I’m wrong so I’ll just stop there.

The Colder Weather

I’ve had a rough time in the last four days. I’ve been feeling like crap, almost like I’m getting sickish. My body just feels drained and I don’t want to do anything. Which is why I have yet to post my last post for therapy and last Friday’s post for FWF. I think I was lucky I did PI&W yesterday. All I’ve done is lay in bed and listened to music and watch TV. I even had family down over the weekend and I felt miserable. Saturday afternoon was almost impossible to get through and I swear every part of my body just ached. My dad told me he’s been feeling like that for almost a month and he thinks it’s because of the weather getting colder outside. They’re saying that norther counties could get some snow later on in the week. It’s honestly too early for snow down here for us. A lot of the trees haven’t even lost their leaves yet. Majority of them are still green. Anyways, I’ve had a freaking headache for the past three days and my sleep is definitely out of whack especially after Saturday night. I thought since I felt like crap all day long that it wouldn’t be that hard to get some sleep. Heh, I was so wrong! I didn’t get my mind to turn off until 3:30am. Thankfully, my mom decided that we weren’t going to go to my nana’s that morning as planned because she was going to take Blondie back two hours after that, so I got to sleep in somewhat, which didn’t help because I ended up taking two naps in one day and somehow managed to get some sleep last night. I woke up around 4 in the morning though and that part sucked because I didn’t go back to sleep until 7:30am. I don’t know what will happen tonight.

My Twisted Sense Of Humor Is The Result Of No Sleep.

Yesterday for me was not a good day. Between having my sleep get messed up again for selfish reasons. I still blame Jimmy Kimmel being on so freaking late on Thursday. I hadn’t stayed up that late in so long, I think I forgot what to do in those situations. Especially after you take off your headphones before the damn show comes on. That was a bad idea on my part, but I was pretty proud of myself. Although, I didn’t go to bed until 1am, I did drift off pretty quick. Normally it takes a couple of hours to get my mind to shut off and relax everything. I think I passed out after ten minutes of just laying there. That morning, I somehow managed to get up at 5am and mom took me to the bathroom before 7am. I didn’t go back to sleep until 9am. I stayed asleep until just about 1pm.

I woke up, pissed off at myself that I practically wasted my whole day. I know, I don’t do anything but I still care about the sleep I want to get that night. I knew I wasn’t going to get any that night so that was added on to my anger. Since I had plans the day before of what I wanted to do, and how much sleep I got that night. I didn’t have any energy to even ask to get in my chair to draw. It’s really sad when you’re in the mood to draw, but your body tells you “no.” Yesterday, I got some of my favorite sleep back and tried to draw to make up for the day before and I wasn’t in the mood for it. My doubts overruled my brain and I had so much pressure that kept building up inside. I thought I was going to explode. I was just miserable. On the good note, my mom got me movies from the movie store up the block. She got me three Disney movies that don’t have to go back until July 4th. Yippee!

Last night was a bust. Our heat has been off the rockers, but apparently everybody’s having the same trouble as we are. I’ve got to say though, knowing the Midwest heat is kicking Las Vegas heat’s ass, makes me kind of proud! I know I’m crazy, but think about it for a second. We finally match the West Coast heat. Now if we could catch up with their time, I’d be in great shape! Can you tell I haven’t had much sleep lately? I have to explain my night. Usually my room is like a freezer compared to every other room in the house. I have a clock that can tell the temperature in the room. It said for last night it was 78 degrees. I wanted some air while I was sleeping. I didn’t care if I was going to freeze my ass off later on, I would have learned my lesson, right? I rearranged my fan towards me and put it on high. It felt amazing! I went to bed at 11:30pm and wake my happy ass at TWO FREAKING AM! Which for every Linkin Park fan on the East Coast can remember, that’s when the livestreamed started. I was thanking God I did not have my headphones on.

I wasn’t comfortable in my bed. It wasn’t the heat that was the problem either. It was just me. I had both the A/C and fan blowing air on me and I wasn’t cold, surprisingly. Once my TV went off on its 3am upgrade it does. I thought I’m going to go back to bed. Hell no! I couldn’t get my brain to shut off. So what do I do? I switched the TV back on and watch The Nanny. I watched about three episodes and watched the sun come up. Around 7am, I began to get sleepy again and I rolled over and passed out. At 9am, I got one rude awakening. ChiChi was in one of her moods where, “to hell with everybody sleeping, somebody’s outside and they shouldn’t be” and barks the whole freaking time. That’s how I got woken up this morning. I literally said out loud, “that meanass little dog” and rolled out of my covers and forced myself to get up. I was smart I sat up and plugged my iPod into my laptop speakers and played Five Finger Death Punch before my day even started. If everybody wanted me to be nice, I needed some sort of music in my head.