I have not been online since this morning. I had a late night again, so I should be thankful my mom came into my room around 11am to grab something from my room. Sometimes I can be a heavy sleeper and the rest of the time, I’m a light sleeper. Practically anything can wake me up. That’s half the reason why I’m so damn paranoid at night too. I hear things and wonder where it’s coming from. I always make assumptions and automatically think it’s a mouse in the left side of my room. I’ve had a total of five cats in my room and none of them have found anything. We knew Oliver wouldn’t because he can hardly breathe in the first place. The others have been exploring throughout my room and they’ve been in that part of the corner and haven’t found anything yet. My luck and the noise is either from something up in the attic or outside my window. The walls in this house are pretty thin. Hearing a truck or a couple arguing outside can be heard pretty loud and clear. Anyways, we’ve had some issues lately. Our “babies” as my mom and I like to call them, because they’re the smallest ones of the bunch. They’ve been inside since yesterday afternoon. Dad finally said it was ok to let them inside as there’s snow and ice on the ground. So Wren, Stef, Zoltan, and Grizzly Bear have been inside since then, however after last night Wren and Stef had to go outside for two different reasons. Stef peed on the rug and Wren kept fighting with mom as she was trying to put her in the bathroom before going to bed. Instead of leaving them in my room all night, we’d thought it would be better to put them in there. They like to climb on everything! I’m glad I can get them away when I’m eating and that’s no picnic either!
Our internet connection has been out since yesterday afternoon too. So that’s the reason why I hadn’t posted anything on Facebook, Twitter and on here. We also got some awesome snow too. Even though, lots of people (including my mother) thought we’d only get an inch or just ice in general. We got the full blizzard. Both ice and snow, it started raining ice around Thursday afternoon. It sounded like mini hail outside my window. The kittens were curious about it too. My mom told me that it’s supposed to snow again tonight and one of my friends took measurements outside her house and she had about 11 inches of snow. If we get anymore, I might go insane! However, I think I liked having all that extra time. I spent my time listening to the local radio and it was so mellow and nice that I ended up doing something that I don’t normally do. I’m not the type of person who likes to reread books. I’m even that way about movies sometimes too. I’m rereading one of my favorite books, it’s called Finding Home by Lauren Baker and Bonnie Dee. I don’t remember if I ever did a book review about it or not, but it’s good! I’m already passed 20% and that’s even watching the babies tear up my room in the process. While I wasn’t in the mood for music or reading, my mom had taped The Sound Of Music – Live! I’ve got to say, I watched it all Thursday night and yesterday and I fully enjoyed it. I love musicals and you can blame my old choir director for that. He used to make us watch those a lot, but I don’t think I ever watched the original with Julie Andrews in full. I watched it and loved Carrie’s voice and as some people said she couldn’t act. I bet those people wouldn’t be able to take on that challenge as good as she took it. Nobody likes change and with every generation, I think there should be somebody new and different taking on those roles and challenge everybody else to continue on and be different.
I haven’t been reading yet this afternoon. Which usually happens after the internet connection comes on. Funny thing though, I thought our internet connection was off because of the snow and ice. This morning, my mom went to use it and realized she had unplugged something from our desktop and that’s why the whole thing has been off. Not because of what’s outside. My own mother forgot about it. Like I told her yesterday though, I’m much rather have power than internet any day, especially with this kind of weather. I think anybody with their right mind would agree with me too. I’m pretty sure by six, I’ll be in reading mode. The kittens are awake from their hour nap. They like sleeping on my blankets and even my dad think they’re adorable and even petted them. I’ve got to say I love them, but their poop smells disgusting! I don’t think I give my mom enough credit for cleaning out their litter boxes when she comes home from work at night. I’ve been listening to Sixx:A.M. for an hour I think and I’m pretty much enjoyed my slow and relaxing time. Both of the little rascals are awake and ready to play! I’m hoping my mom wakes me soon before these two decide to get themselves killed. After yesterday and both of them going behind my TV to play with the cords, all I could think of was the scene on Christmas Vacation were the Aunt Betty’s cat gets electrocuted by the Christmas lights. I’d rather not smell of burnt cat in my room, thank you very much. My mom and I still got Major Crimes to watch later. And maybe I can get here to bake those cookies that we still have in the freezer. I hope you enjoy your Saturday and stay safe! Enjoy all the snow too!
Yesterday, I had a driver that I hadn’t had before. From the time my dad and I got outside and inside to get strapped in. My assumptions had changed in those probably 10 minutes. Everybody’s done this once or twice in their life and thought of the stranger they are forced to be around for an hour or so, and wonder what life has been like for them. Some can think life could be better, others can say they’re life sucks. I’ve always been in between those two thoughts. I’ve always wanted to have that state of mind where there was nothing wrong in your life and if God was take you away that next day you would leave without any regrets and you left this world in peace and changed the world around you. For the past two years I’ve tried to change my point of view and give my life more chances to be positive than anything else. My driver I had yesterday was what I have strived to become all this time: A positive human being.
I think I was memorized about how my driver described everything, from the weekend to the day they’ve had so far. I am not kidding I think I was kind of jealous of this person and how positive they were. Very upbeat and definitely changed my thoughts of having a bad day. Instead, I think we kind of helped each other. She gave me another perspective at life and the kind I’ve always wanted. Just to be happy with life. I told her some stories and she laughed through most of them. By the end of our time together, I actually didn’t want to get out of the car. That usually never happens considering Monday’s are my favorite days. I could have stayed in that car and told her a few more stories. When we got up to the gate and my mom came out to get me, she had told my mom, that she was in love with me. I have a way with people. I don’t understand it sometimes, but as much as some people drive me completely insane, they can still get me. After spending that time with her, it made me want to listen to “Life Is Beautiful” by Sixx:A.M. it was one of those awesome, inspiring trips, I haven’t had in a while.
There is a YouTube clip of the guys of Sixx:A.M. being asked this question, and it literally took them about 20 minutes to answer it. Three dudes with different tastes. Nikki asked if James would live or die on this desert island? James said it would be music to die by. At the end of them making jokes, and literally thinking about it. Which I am trying to rack my brain to figure out what I’d choose. If anybody has looked at “Music” tab at the top of my site. The first one underneath it is a tab called, “Favorite Albums” so I can chosing three albums from that list as my three albums to die by.
Oh, this is difficult. Now I understand why they having such a rough time with picking out just one album. No wonder they ended up with four. Anyways, I think my first would have to be Blood by In This Moment. I’ve listened to it from start to finish and it’s got this haunting sound to it. It would be a perfect album to have if you’re going to die on a desert island. Maybe you’ll get lucky and your spirit will stay around the island and everybody who goes on the island will be your victims? Second album will be a bit more mellow, and A Thousand Suns by Linkin Park is calling my name. Especially the songs “Iridescent” and “The Messager” so slow and sweet. But I like those two songs, so maybe that’s not a good choice. Okay, that’s unofficial if I’d use that album or not.
The other album that is fighting for second place comes from my morning so forgive me. I can’t give up on my Backstreet Boys. So I’m thinking their album that came out in 2001 called The Hits would actually be a perfect second album to die by. Knowing me, I’d die alone so I’d might as well depress myself to the death with some BSB love songs. I’ve not only given hope for my love life but my life in general. How weird is this, guess what just came on my iPod? Yeah, Backstreet Boys. They were my first music loves so they might as well be one of the last things I’ll ever listen to. Okay, last but not least. I think Halestorm deserves this spot. Their album The Strange Cases Of… is such an amazing album. I cannot get enough of it. I love it to be pieces. I love Lzzy’s voice. So I think that would be my last album. These are the albums I’d die by.
I must have five relatable lyrics for my challenge today. It was kind of weird at first, because there are a lot of songs that can be relatable for me. The reason why I used these songs were because I listen to them the most when I’m insecurited about things that have to do with me and my life. When I was a senior, originally I wanted to sing “Numb” as my Senior Solo but I was declined by our director. I had to put it on here because it’s still one of my favorite songs by them. I wanted to use a few other songs by Avril Lavigne, but how the verse stopped and chorus began, it would be weird to place them. Her song “Who Knows” is a good optistimic song. I love it. Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter” is my third song because I am a fighter. Nobody is going to stop me. I love “Freak Like Me” by Halestorm, because everybody thinks I look like a freak and they are right, but I am proud of it. Last but not least, you got to list “Lies Of The Beautiful People” by Sixx:A.M. I would be a fool if I didn’t have this song on here.
“I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there, Become so tired, so much more aware I’m becoming this, all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you.” – Linkin Park
“I think there’s something more, life’s worth living for Who knows what could happen. Do what you do, just keep on laughing One thing’s true, there’s always a brand new day I’m gonna live today like it’s my last day” – Avril Lavigne
“How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust so cruel Could only see the good in you Pretend not to see the truth You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end you’ll see YOU-WON’T-STOP-ME.” – Christina Aguilera
“So shout if you’re a freak like me, You were born to burn, This is no disease you don’t need a cure! It’s our time now to come out! If you’re a freak like me! If you’re a freak like me” – Halestorm
“Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people It’s time to run from the lies of the beautiful people.” – Sixx:A.M.
There are a lot of songs I can full asleep to. It’s always the ballads that are really slow and voices are really low. You can’t help it. Sometimes, if you’re not like me and you keep your volume all the way up, you can go to sleep in the middle of a song. Especially if it’s a very meaningful song. Those are always so comforting to just relax and let go of whatever you’re thinking inside your mind. Then the next minute you know you’ve passed out and you weren’t even tired to begin with. Instead of just listing one song, I’m going to list four songs. All of these songs have the power to make me fall asleep.
I love God and as much as God has gotten me through the rough patches of my life with a few or more scratches all over my body. The people who have taught me to love myself are Nikki Sixx, DJ Ashba, and James Michael. Also known as Sixx:A.M. Even though I don’t listen to them as much as I did when the new year started, I still feel the love I found when I first found out about them. I don’t think I’ll ever tired of them. Sixx:A.M. is an inspiring band to listen to and when you listen to their songs, “Life Is Beautiful,” “Lies Of The Beautiful People,” and “Skin” you will understand why I love them so much. They make you want to love life and yourself than you ever did before. I feel grateful that there is ever such a band that wants to show everybody is beautiful in their own way.
For me, I hated myself every day for most of my life because other people just showed me that they didn’t care and made me feel like I was the ugliest person on the plant. God created me and he doesn’t give someone something if he knew they couldn’t handle it. I pray to him every night. Then through my headphones you can hear a slight melody of “Lies Of The Beautiful People” and sometimes if ir’s not too dark in my room you can see going crazy on my bed because I’m kind of dancing. Unless I’m really depressed I definitely won’t be hearing “Skin” on my iPod playing at 10pm. I love that song, but I’m smart enough to know it will make me cry so I don’t listen during at night. I love these guys!
Ever have a conversation with one of your family members where you’ve had every subject in the world but yet there’s that one subject that is still a bit awkward to talk about? My nana and I talk about everything, and I mean everything! There are certain things you can’t tell your parents and telling your friends and always getting that impression that they’re thinking wrongly of you. Even though everybody that is around me, they’ve usually known me forever and are fine with my attitude and personality. It’s everybody else who doesn’t understand. I know not everybody should understand you, but in my life I’d rather have people know who I am, then try to guess or ask around. If you’ve done this, you are an idiot. Unless you’ve asked family members then you’re fine.
Anyways, back to the beginning. I went to my nana’s today for lunch. We always have fun chatting about a hundred things at a time. It usually gets converted to something about Adam Lambert. If you don’t know about this. My nana is a BIG Adam Lambert fan. It’s getting kind of normal to know my nana likes the same music I do. Anytime I have something new that I like I give the links to songs either on YouTube and send them to her Spotify account. Yeah, she’s that high-tech. She’s got a sense of humor and knows what she likes musically. From Elvis, Bon Jovi, Adam, and Queen. She discovered those on her own, well sort of. I got her into Linkin Park. That’s the only rock act I got her into so far. I’ve sent her songs I thought she’d like by sound. I don’t normally send her anything lyrically. I’m not always about lyrics, just sound. Then Sixx:A.M. came along and I sent her “This Is Gonna Hurt” to her Spotify and of course, she loved it!
I’ve recently sent her a few songs. I’ve sent her Within Temptation’s Somewhere (Acoustic), Adelitas Way’s Alive, and Nightwish’s I Want My Tears Back. I sent her these tracks at the beginning of the month. She said she liked them, but she didn’t act as excited as the next three I sent her. I had sent The Civil Wars’ song Poison & Wine on Spotify, but I had to send her Soldiers by Otherwise and I Can’t Wait by Runner Runner via YouTube. She really liked Soldiers. She has a good sense with music. Certain people can’t really see it because it gets blocked by her obsession with Adam. No offense towards her, because we all have that one artist or band we go absolutely nuts for! However, I have about 20 of them. I’m not really obsessed with them, I just love them enough to be a respectful fan. Not saying every obsessed fan isn’t respectable.