Before my nephew came along, I was very specific on how I wanted to be represented towards a young child. I had some help creating these thoughts after my neighbor’s three year old daughter started to act like she needed to help me out, although everybody (including myself) thought it was a sweet gesture, it really became clear that this little person looked at me and she shoul help in anyway she coul, even if that meant by holding my cup close enough to face to take a drink.
I understand that she was only doing it to be nice, but she really was doing it for two reasons. One, she getting praise for doing something so benignant and the second is she saw everyone else around her help me out from time to time. I always felt like asking for help was a weakness, so to see this sweet little girl automatically do this, really messed with me for a long time. Although I think it is important for young children to understand all of the disabilities in the world, I also believe there is a way we can teach them about respecting the boundary.
Nolan isn’t at that age where he was can physically lift and carry my drink around to allow me a sip now and again, but he does understand that Aunt Meghan is very different from everybody else.
He loves cars and trucks like every boy does, and whenever he comes over it is one of our favorite things to play with because it is just small enough to put in between his hands and my toes and I can pass it back to him if he wanted to use it. All I have to do is ask for it back and he will either give it to me or exchange another toy for it instead. He’s a stinker like that! He is getting familiar with putting things in my toes rather than my hands; he actually never puts anything in that area which has really surprised me but he was a quick learner as a baby that he understood fast I had certain things “wrong” with me.
Since he was about 10 months old I think, he started to become obsessed with shoes. At first, it was purely just my sister’s flip flops and sandals that he would attempt to put on, but recently he has tried to stick his feet into her sneakers. There is nothing more cuter when a small child tries to put his foot inside the opposite shoe! I mean, this kid’s a genius, he knows how to grab his foot and move it inside of the shoe without really wearing them a whole lot in his short life. I mean, the first time he ever wore shoes out in public I think was on Easter!
The most recent thing to happen was the day when I decided to put on one of Blondie’s shoes, to see what he would think to see me in them. As soon as I got it on and showed off my incredible feat, he outdid me. He grabbed the other one and put it on his hand! This made me realize on how much he pays attention, but the fact that he sees my feet as my hands! I did not expect that reaction but I was very humbled by it at the same time.
I think about the future a lot, and what’ll mean for him if, God forbid, something was to happen to my sister and she wasn’t able to take care of me anymore, the responsibility would turn to him. There is one thing that I will never allow to happen.and this is it, I will firmly stand my ground and tell him that it is more important for him to focus on himself. If I can get this through his mommy’s head I would, but she is far too headstrong for this conversation apparently. Again, I understand the reason behind this but she has been a protector and a great person to take care of me in my time of need but between the two of them, I don’t want them to think they need to continue on that road, you know? There are great places and nurses that can fulfill that promise just as much as they can. I never want to become a burden to anyone, let alone my sister, brother-in-law or Nolan.
What do you think about this? Am I being too harsh about this future situation or is it something you can secretly agree on?