2020 RECAP | Trial & Error

Hello!

2020 has been a very complexed year. For a lot of people, it’s been one of the worst ones whereas I think it’s been a very successful year. I have had bad days and unsavory moments happen within the year but overall it’s been pretty good. It isn’t what anyone expected but I think how you look at it as a whole can make or break your perspective. I will say it wasn’t perfect all throughout these 12 months, something has happened to possibly crush everything you love and worked on, but you’re still here, so that should count for something, right?

In this post, I will be discussing three different sections that I thought were important to highlight that defined 2020 for me and this blog as a whole.

Three Good Things

At the start of the year, I decided I needed to share a ritual I have been doing off and on since 2014 and that is choosing three things (or more if you had a great day!) and talking about them to my followers on my social medias. Unfortunately, it never took off on Twitter but I’m hoping I can do better in 2021 so more people who want to look past any unsettling mishaps and focus all of their attention on the good instead. I feel this was the reason why I think back on the year with a smile on my face.

I just want to point out that despite the fact I want to spread positivity to everyone, I need to say you will have bad days here and there. You’re never going to have perfect days or moments endlessly, but that’s not being realistic. I wish I had said something about this in the beginning because I think it would have helped me get over the really bad days after the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. I tried to keep a brave face but honestly I wasn’t feeling as confident as I usually am, so that’s why I took that long break over the summer to think about things that were going on around me. After some time I came back, although I wasn’t 100%, I still thought I needed to do something so I asked my followers to share their good things and reading their responses did give me a boost to join them again the next evening.

Once 2021 begins, I will be posting them every other day, because it was just easier to get things done because I found out through posting them every single day, that I am vert much a perfectionist! I was wondering when it was going to rear its ugly head back to me. I’m just thankful it didn’t stay around when I was working on my Christmas Tree projects like I thought. Anyways, I am already doing this schedule and have been for a while now, but I really enjoy it again so I think I will keep it going for as long as I want to, until I feel ready to switch back to the regular format.

I wrote this post three days before it was scheduled published and I knew the background I used for the first day was yellow, but I guess it didn’t register well enough when I made last night’s list. I was only going base off of what I used the day before–which was black, because I wanted a little black and gold theme for the final few days but again, I just forgot all about this until I went to update it (and man, wasn’t that an adventure!) anyways, do you remember what your first top three good things for 2020 was? What did you list for the last day of the year too?

Trial and Error

The reason why I am calling this post “Trial & Error” is because of what I put on my “Three Good Things” on the first of January 2020. The first one says “I chopped and peeled a potato without hurting myself.” Although I wish I could forget the events before this happened, I remember saying to my mom afterwards, “oh, it’s okay. Trial and error I guess.” And yes, I can recall what I said word-for-word because this would become the year’s motto. It was also a stab at my perfectionist side always attempting to break through on a daily basis! At the time, I didn’t think it would mean much but then I would catch myself saying it to anything that I did on my own that I normally wouldn’t do, so over time it started to mean something important to me.

I did a lot of things that I figured would never happen again, like completing my Goodreads Reading Challenge for the year and bring back painting pumpkins. Everything that happened that I haven’t done for a long time kind of scared me at first because I didn’t know if I should enjoy it and fear it would disappear for an even longer time, so I had to battle it out my emotions a bit, but now that I’ve done them, I fee like I can do them again and be better at them the second time around and I am overjoyed at it in the future!

Two Week Blogging Schedule

After 11 years of trying to work out a schedule that would not only work as far as publishing new content during the week, but inspiring myself to keep writing during a full month was really my biggest issue. I could work great for three months and lose all my love for blogging for like four months at a time and I would just feel absolutely defeated, so I knew I had to do something big or else I would have to stop blogging altogether and I don’t have any other backups or outlets that can compete to blogging so I was very determined to fix this problem once and for all.

When I decided that I was going to attempt reading ’20 books for 2020′ I knew I was going to make room to read, but what I didn’t exact was how comfortable I would be taking two weeks off a new month to devote myself to reading and then if I had time during my monthly vacation to do some work for the first full week back that was awesome too!

I really didn’t think I could last no more than a month using this new method but I did it for the entire year without feeling like I was going to experience a burnout like I would normally feel after a couple months so I knew I was doing something right here! There were times I would need an extra week because I was asked to review an artist’s music and I had established that Monday were the days I would talk about music, Wednesday would be about books; especially the reviews of the newly finished novels I was able to read in the weeks before, and Friday would be for anything else I wanted to talk about, but if I didn’t have anything special going on, I would post another review on that day. Everything seemed to work out perfectly and even this week, I kept the same layout I adapted towards the beginning of 2020 and was still exercising that format to the final week and was still enjoying it, seems incredible to me.

Well, I think I have officially run out of what I wanted to say in this post. I hope you have enjoyed all three posts in their rightful days. As of now, I should be back on the 18th of January, with all new content for you to consume and if you’re lucky, you might even get a book review on the 20th too, since I am right in the middle of A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St Clair. I am whizzing on through it as we speak so I hope you had a lovely and better 2021.

Bye.

snowflake

I Need A Bright Colored Sheet.

For the past 24 hours it’s been very eventful. I am very afraid of wasps and bees, but nothing scares me more than a huge ass spider around my bed in the darkness. I’m pretty sure my parents just went to bed and I only wanted to sit up for an hour of so and I was watching Fraiser like always and I was feeling a bit paranoid but it was nothing out of the ordinary for me. My eye got caught on something and I looked a bit closer and there was a middle size (it looked bigger because of the shadow) spider just chilling by my cup. It terrified me but I didn’t scream. Somehow I managed to keep myself calm and I grabbed my TV remote and I had put my foot above it and I just dropped it and I thought that would be enough to kill it. Either I did get him and there’s a whole flock of them just surrounding my bed, waiting to scare the shit out of me. I did good after that, I was brave enough to use my laptop as my guide and in the process of it I had to take over my headphones in case they fell behind my ears. I looked (more like peeked) through my floor and everything around my cup. Nothing. Well, then about five minutes go by, my paranoia comes back and I find one on the corner of my wall by my bed. I grabbed my remote again and then I realized I had made the worst move in the world.

I have a black sheet on my bed. So if a spider is to crawl around on my bed, I can’t see it and so that strike one for me. The second was, that I don’t have a good balance when I go to scoot on the opposites of my bed. So I tried to basically climb over my pillows and kill it. Well, I missed the first time and he ran from me, which wasn’t really smart. I thought I got him the second time, but by the time I had a chance to celebrate I realized about my sheet and the fact that I had fallen down on the rope that helps me sit up by myself. I had to turn myself around quickly and sit up, turn back around and make sure I got him. Well, I didn’t see him. I assumed he had fallen down the corner of my wall. Nope. He started climbing the other side and he was just high enough that I moved over my pillows this time and I flicked my remote to him at a fast pace and both of them fell down the crack between the bed and the wall. While this was all happening, I didn’t once scream (even though I did shout out “son of a bitch!”) out nor did I text my parents for help. However, I do have a saved text message for my dad in case I just couldn’t kill it. I was running out of patience and losing my calmness too. I did post a long status on my Facebook that almost everybody in my family loved and I even sent my sister a tweet that I needed her to kill this thing. Of course, she’s still at school so she wouldn’t be on spider duty until the weekend. This was my first Facebook status.

“Swore I saw on big ass spider by my cup and I did good, I calmed myself and didn’t scream and I grabbed my remote and unhooked my headphones from my laptop. However, when I dropped my remote it disappeared and I just spent about a good five minutes trying to search for it. Still haven’t found it and I don’t want to grab my remote off the floor. Times like these make want Blondie because she would still be awake right now instead of sleeping. I might need some prayers to get me through the night. Lol”

I didn’t plan on actually to go to sleep last night after all that. I was still in full panic mode and I also ran out of weapons to kill anymore spiders. I just curled up into a little ball on the very edge of my bed and just tried to calm myself down. I wasn’t celebrating or anything, I was still pretty sure that the spider is alive and well somewhere around my bed. At 4:30am, my mom came into my room and grabbed my remote from its place from the third round. She told me that my Facebook status was the funniest thing she’s read in a while. She kept laughing at me because I was in full attack mode and I hadn’t even been up for more than three minutes and I’m just talking to her in my high-pitched voice because I was still on a “high” I guess you can call it that. After she left and turned off my light, I went to watch I Love Lucy because I was still trying to decide if I wanted to go back asleep or not. Well, then as I was laying on my back, I saw this shadow of something flying above my legs and my only instinct is to attempt to cover it up with my blanket. Again, forgetting I have a black sheet on my bed. Thank god for the brightness of laptops and cell phones because that’s basically been my life savers for the entire eight hours. I grabbed my phone and began searching through my bed and blanket. I didn’t find anything. A part of me thinks it was my mind trying to play tricks on me or that it found its way out of my blanket. In the mist of all that I sat up and went on my Facebook to update everybody about my second adventure.

“LITERALLY an hour after my mom goes back to bed and I almost fall back asleep, I see something “fly” around my waist area so I quickly covered it with my blanket. My brain is apparently still sleeping because I keep forgetting that I have a black sheet. Looks like I’m staying up because some damn bug is (hopefully) underneath my blanket and my other blanket is on the floor and I’m too chicken to pick it up. I really want to go back to sleep too!”

I’m not going to lie, next time this all happens I’m texting my parents and letting them yell at me for the next ten minutes of trying to kill something that I know is “harmless” and probably “scared of me too” it just needs to be dead. If this means I’m going to hell, then I’m begging to God and asking him if he laughed at me too! I was so glad to go to my nana’s today. I helped her out with a few things. She got this new big CD/DVD zip case, and I had to show her what I do with mine. Plus, I helped her put away the groceries and even did something new for a change. Some of the “life skills” that I should probably know already, I’m actually learning now. I still can’t tie a knot but I have a feeling that’ll be next. The other day when I was with her, she had hurt her elbow and she wasn’t able to do certain things and I wanted a drink. So I had attempt to open the pop can myself. I have long toe nails (I know for some of you that’s gross, so I’m sorry) and I tried to undo it with just my big toe but I couldn’t get it. My nana gave me this little handy-dandy can opener and I used that and it cracked and when I turned it the other way, it undid itself and I was proud of myself! Today I had a big challenge, my nana can’t get her trash bag on the sides of the trash can. So I decided I’d go for it and I challenged the same calmness I had from last night and it took me a bit and it came undone twice, but I finally did it without falling out of my wheelchair. Some good thing happened and then some freaky bad things happened. It’s a Wednesday, it’s supposed to be somewhat chaotic and weird.