A-Z Disability Challenge | C : Be Truthful To Your Children

Howdy!

This post is very close to my heart. Since my sister found out she was pregnant with my nephew, I wondered how we were going to explain to him about my disability. It’s kind of easier to explain to children in the grocery store about how came to be like this. Our go-to is “god made me like this” or “I was born like this” but I have a feeling Nolan isn’t going to let those explanations slide. I think it is important to talk about disabled people with young children.

I’ve never been able to hold him like everybody else because of my arms, so imagine the expression on his face when I started basically wagging them in front of his face when he was about three months old! He was mesmerized that these large hook-like arms that were just swinging back and forth. He’s been practically in love with them ever since. He has expressed his interest in my feet recently, one day he was on the couch and I started waving at him with my feet and he just starting waving with his foot! He’s starting to realize how different I am compared to his mom and dad. We have a special connection.

Children are both very curious and honest creatures. They haven’t been in this world long enough to see the bad unless they’ve been taught it since they were in the womb! They like to figure things out for themselves, and only ask their parents or grandparents when they’re a bit lost for words. I’ve seen a lot of kids in various ages, stare but also try to shield their faces so you don’t notice them. They usually wait to ask questions until I’m fully out of view, but I’ve realized if I tell them “hi” or I wave at them, they’ll just put you on the spot right there and you just have to go with your gut and hope their families will fill in the gaps the best they can after you leave. Here’s my advice to parents who would rather dodge this discussion because you think it might be too difficult for them to understand; if you’re comfortable then explaining the differences between a girl and a boy’s anatomy and/or race, then saying something how a person could be in braces from head to toe, standing in crutches, or rolling around in a wheelchair will be a piece of cake.

How do you explain to children about disability? Where do you stand on educating people on how to talk about some of the more common disabilities, like spina bifida, blindness, deafness, or even cerebral palsy to children at home or even at school?

Feet | Fetish vs. Phobia

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Hi 🙂

Before I start on this post, I’d like to point out to anyone reading this that I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel bad, I just felt the need to talk about a couple of experiences I had, that I thought went along with the article you’ll be hearing about in a second. It does lighten up with the second section but I wanted to give everybody a warning before you went on ahead, so with that being said, let’s get onto the post for Monday!

Last year, I read this very enlightening article on Push Living. It’s a digital magazine dedicated to people who use wheelchairs and they focus on various topics but mostly lifestyle and travel.

The piece Gina wrote was about devotees. I’ve known about the term a long time and but she explained about the different types of devotees, as she put it “the creeps and awkward turtles”. I’m glad she went on to discuss both sides because if anybody has ever had to deal with a devotee in their lifetime, you just think they’re all sickos, but no, they’re not!

So what is a devotee?

A devotee is somebody attracted to a person with a disability, mostly who use braces and wheelchairs. This is actually a real fetish. In her article she talks about how devotees, the ones that see it purely for their sexual desires and the “admirers” who are basically perfect gentlemen and ladies as they’re a little more shy but want to actually establish a good friendship with you whether than creep you out with weird questions and pictures. This was the best example I could give you to help show you the differences between them. If you want to read the rest of Gina’s article, go here!

I think I’ve had an experience with a devotee before, the reason why I say “I think” is because back in the day I didn’t know what the term actually meant, but the more I think about it and remember how many other women he had as friends on his profiles is still shocking! I met this guy on MySpace (I know, that probably should have been my warning right there!) and he was very nice. The guy was the reason why I basically looked forward to going home after school! I had issues talking to guys my own age and the fact that he was cool with my disability and let me talk about my day I grew to really like him and I generally wanted to know how his day went as well! It was a nice friendship while it lasted!

By the time I went on Facebook, I basically lost contact with him. Two years ago, I actually found him on there but instead of having a totally different picture of himself, he used the exact same one he had on MySpace. Now I don’t know about you guys, but in the years that passed I would change my profile picture a few dozen times! Why did he keep this one? And then to top it all off, he was apart of multiple disability groups and pages and at that time, I actually figured out the definition for “devotee” and I began to feel really cautious. I literally wanted to smack myself up the head because there were signs that something wasn’t right when I was talking to him on MySpace years ago!

Nevertheless, I was really sad to have to give up on that friendship. I just thought it all looked too fishy to continue on with it. No, I didn’t confront him because I still had all of the messages we passed back and forth to each other running around in my head. I just unfriended him, and I had even debated if I should have blocked him but I couldn’t get myself to do it. The one time you start to not only feel beautiful in your skin but you feel like you could’ve been catfished at the same time!

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As far this next part, we switch topics completely and talk about how feet can make people really uncomfortable. Apparently, there’s no in between, you either love feet so much that you end up having a fetish for them or you actually despise them.

When I was in middle school, I had a boy in my science class basically come clean about one of his dislikes. Apparently he was afraid of feet. He said it out loud to two other of our classmates and I was in front of him with a very confused look on my face I guess. I knew people have different phobias, some can be afraid of spiders, clowns, heights and even goats! It just puzzled me to think he was scared of feet! For a person who does everything with my feet, this kind of felt like an insult in a way! I can’t explain it any better for you!

What makes it even worse for me though, is that I dared to ask what he thought about mine. I think he was a bit hesitant with his answer. I don’t think he ever gave me a straight answer, you could tell on his face he was conflicted about it. I mean, he was asking a girl that drove an electric wheelchair and had a knack of running over innocent feet throughout her life, he had every right to be scared! I’m just kidding. I’m not that big of a bitch. I would never run over somebody’s feet for a reason like that.

I could understand the reason why he or anyone else would have a phobia of feet. I have my days where I see my dad’s feet and they instantly make my stomach upset. Sorry dad! And honestly, that just made be a guy thing! They have no problem of itching and picking all areas of their feet anyways, so I actually stay away from men’s feet in general. So if somebody came up to me and said they didn’t like feet, I wouldn’t pay them any mind about it.

The older I get, the less chances of my feet going back to their former glory. It’s bad enough that my footwriting has gotten worse! The only thing I have left to do to make my feet seem prettified is to paint my nails different colors. We’ve learned not to use the straight clear glitter because for one you need like four coats for it to show up at all and then scrub until you basically take the nail off to remove it. You guys seem to like my nails paint, don’t ya? I actually need a fresh coat on them. I still have the pink and silver that mom put on for Blondie’s wedding chipping away.

So what are your thoughts about devotees and their fetishes? Are you afraid of feet? If so, how did it come about in your life?

snowflake