Depression | One Year On

Howdy!

It’s crazy to think that it’s been a WHOLE year already, for not only the presence of my nephew but asking for help to deal with my depression! I almost had forgotten about it, but something on Pinterest one afternoon, made me realize that it could be a good idea if I talked about my mental health and give you an update on all of that.

Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive and let go.

Overall, I think I’ve been doing really good. I am always going to have my ups and downs in my life but for the most part I am feeling great! However, I feel like I would be lying to you if I didn’t mention that I am afraid of going into July and August. Since I have so many negative memories of getting through both of those months that I automatically feel panic at the thought of them coming soon. I am trying to really keep positive though, but sometimes I just can’t help it, those visions are on a loop at the end of summer. 

This year has a lot of different meanings, between my blog’s 8th birthday, Nolan’s first birthday,  and celebrating 10 years as a blogger in October. I have had a lot of plans this year and the fact that I’ve had quite a few months with little as two posts in roughly 31 days has been somewhat frightening. I have been trying to let it go and so far that’s been working out great because I’m not putting too much pressure on myself to get things finished. I’ve been feeling somewhat zen ever since I accepted it. I’ve also been enjoying telling myself that you don’t have to set things up if you don’t want to right now. 

That’s one thing that I think my antidepressants have been helping me out with the most, keeping everything straight without branching off into a million different directions. I’ve always wanted to adopt a healthier state of mind, because my brain goes a hundred miles away with different things and it gets to the point where I get really angry with myself over being lazy but I think it is a good thing to slow down, watch a little TV and just chill out for a while.

My anxiety has taken a hint, and calmed down a lot in some unexpected ways, like for example, we weren’t expecting it to help out was my fear over the nail clippers. I have always been afraid of these damn things since I was little, but I haven’t been sweating like crazy or attempting to pull my fingers away of my mother’s grip as much so that has been probably the biggest surprise of all! I have surprised myself with how much I trust myself and others when it comes to certain things, like feeling I am going to fall because again I have had a serious fear of heights all of my life, but now I am so chill. It’s nuts!

I am better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.

Despite the fact that things are going really good lately, unfortunately, these pills are not a cure-all. I wish they were, because I have a couple more issues that I wish would go away in less than a year. I’ve been trying to find some ways to distract myself along the way so that I don’t give in so easily and sometimes that works, but then again it doesn’t. Thankfully I am a patient person and I love to learn to work things out better for me, so hopefully I’ll be able to get through some of these other things on my own. 

So, yeah this is my life one year on after accepting the help that I needed for my mental health and maybe come back to blogging full time again, because honestly I really miss it a lot! 

Have you ever decided to take anything for your mental heath, whether it be anxiety, depression, OCD, etc? How long  did it take for you to see some results? 

Nolan’s 1st Party!

Hello!

Last weekend we celebrated my nephew’s first birthday with a big party! It’s been a long time since I have been at his house. I told my mom that he had to been around three months at the time, because Brandon and I were watching Black Panther after it just came out on DVD. It was very difficult to keep my eyes on the screen and not on a certain little baby in the pack-n-play! He was surprisingly very good for us, until towards the ending where he wanted to be fed quickly and he wasn’t – he wasn’t very happy! He has yet to grow out of that by the way!

The theme of the party had changed a few times over the coming months, but ultimately they decided on one thing: Llamas! So, in March, my sister found him this cute little llama stuffed toy at the store for Easter and he apparently liked it so much that she set out to find other items to fit in that theme, thus making the entire party about llamas. The only thing that wasn’t in a llama shape was the cake, although she did try to find someone to make one for her back in May!

One of my favorite things that had llamas on it, were our shirts that Blondie found for us. Both sides of the family were given customize T-Shirts of a black silhouette of a llama with whatever we are to Nolan. For example, I am his “auntie” so that’s what I got on mine, but both of his grandmothers have different names. My mom is “Mimi” while Brandon’s mom is “Grammie” to him. I have always had a small stack of tops that fit perfectly on my shoulders and if there was a special design on the front, it isn’t blocked by my hands the whole time the stack was even smaller! I’m very glad to tell you that I can add this to the pack! You can see everything, I love it so much!

My mom and I were the first ones to get there. I was greeted by Chipper and the cats. Chipper was SO excited to see us, but the look on Nolan’s face when he realized that Mimi was the one waking him up from a nap in his crib, was so cute! He was so surprised! He looked stunned when he found out I was there too! We were there about 10 minutes before my dad and our “uncle” Russell came over. Nolan was very happy to see his papaw! He just wrapped his small arms around his neck (and beard) and my dad was all too happy to deny him. Nolan was a little unsure about Russell at first but after a couple of minutes, he actually asked to be held by him and it was so adorable.

They were originally supposed to have 30+ people coming to the party, but since we were under a Tornado warning all afternoon, we were happy with the small get together instead. It was an interesting mix of people though, the best thing was everybody got along perfectly! We ate food, chit-chat with one another, played with Nolan. Our friend Jayde, who is expecting her first baby boy later this year, ate around three cupcakes. She and I made a deal that she could have the cupcakes and I can have the broccoli. I love broccoli! She fully agreed to that! I’m actually shocked on how little I snacked though, because I’m known to eat quite a bit at parties but there wasn’t a lot of room for me to eat by myself or have my mom feed me easily without being in the way of little guy eating his strawberries in his high chair! Honestly, I made myself a deal at the end of the party, I was going to have one vanilla cupcake. I did get my cupcake, but I almost regretted it on the way home…

After everybody grabbed a seat, we decided it was time to open some presents. He got a LOT of interesting toys for his birthday! The first one that “he” opened was from his Grammie and his aunties too. Blondie opened the cards first, which is always a nice gesture even though they are usually the last present anybody ever wants to open, because they usually have a message inside that could make you cry in front of your guests. Nolan was another story entirely, he loved his cards! The one that his Grammie got him had shiny glitter inside the number one symbol on the front, so you could essentially shake it like a snow globe and everything will move around. He literally did not want to put it down! It was in his right hand during the rest of the unwrapping.

These are some of the gifts that I could remember of the party.

  • A small red and blue slide (that was wrapped in Batman paper! I loved it, and I’m not a big fan of him either!)
  • A large stack of different summery clothes.
  • Bubble making lawn mower
  • Tool bench and belt full of tools he’ll need to fix my ‘broken’ wheelchairs
  • A standing drum set
  • A big yellow truck to put all of his toys
  • Paw Patrol trucks with characters of the show
  • A book for bedtime made specifically for him as it has a blond baby named Nolan.

There were a lot more that you will see at in the gallery below. He will certainly be really busy making lots of noises in the next few months! My sister actually sent mom a picture of him standing at the drum kit in the middle of the pack-n-play without any help of the walls after the party was over! We’re getting closer to seeing cutie pie walking around on his own.

Once we were finished with the presents, we moved on watching him eat his smash cake. For this, he had to become semi-naked and as much as he loves being like this, he absolutely hates taking off his clothes! After everything was off, he was placed in his high chair again. I will be inserting the before and after pictures of the cake itself in a minute, but Nolan isn’t necessarily a messy eater, he likes to inspect things so he was really puzzled by this cake at first. He literally only would stick one finger into it at a time. Brandon quickly realized that we’d be here forever if he continues doing this, so to make things go faster, he literally grabbed Nolan’s hands and planted them right into the cake! Nolan was not sure what to do with all of the icing on his hands so he was literally shaking his arms but he actually accepted the fact that it did taste pretty good!

The part that made me remember that I am still teaching him things without even realizing it, was when he started leaning his mouth into the cake. As everybody was laughing and taking pictures at this, I was like “oh, crap!” Whenever I eat in the kitchen, he is at the same level as me, so he can watch me like a hawk, because I do lean into my plate so my tongue can reach everything. So seeing the now one year old mimicking what I do for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, was pretty cute! He was trying his best to get into it, to the point that my sister actually had to hold the cake up in front of him to reach with his mouth! He’s such a smart cookie!

Once he was done eating the cake–well, actually his mommy had to take it away from him! He wasn’t very happy about that, but after he was basically washed down with many, many wipes, he was rewarded with his new toys! He quickly went back to his tool belt and started waving it around in the air. This was also the time where half of the guests were leaving to go home. Russell and dad were one of the firsts to leave because we needed them to be ready to get back into the house, which was a fun mini adventure on its own!

My mom and I left about 10 minutes later, but we were going to get food from Applebee’s and it was roughly a 20-25 minute wait to pick everything up, we decided to go look at the expensive houses in town. I’ve been watching Property Brothers like crazy lately so this was my jam! However between the two of us, we realized how different our tastes in houses were as far as exterior design goes! I still love my ranch-style houses, but even I started finding some of these larger houses to be very beautiful, especially that Tudor house! Once our 20 minutes were up, we went to pick up our food and eventually made our way home!

I had an awesome time spending the day with a great bunch of people, and what I think really made it better was the fact that after the small storm we had, the sky actually perked up. It was sunny again, which was really nice considering how much rain we’ve had in the last couple of weeks or so! I also had lots of fan watching my little nephew enjoy time with each family and friends as well!

What do you think is the most weirdest theme for a birthday? What did you think of my day too?

June Playlist

Howdy!

I am posting this a week earlier than I originally planned on because I am going to be writing about Nolan’s birthday party. It is going to be a fairly large post with lots of things, and I didn’t want to force myself to write it up in three days so this is your gift for the end of the blogging week instead!

Honestly I wanted to work on this like four days after the May playlist published but I told myself to chill and wait until I actually create a fairly good size list for this month. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will be giving you a 20 song playlist this time around but I think you’ll still appericate it anyways, right?

Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith featuring Normani
The World We Made by Ruelle
Flexible by Jordan McGraw
Wait For Me by Jake Miller
Brand New by Ben Rector
The Outside by Taylor Swift
Here With Me by Marshmello featuring CHVCHES
Out Of Love by Alessia Cara
Playwitme by Kyle featuring Kehlani
Tip Toe by Jason Durelo featuring French Montana
Thinking Bout You by Ciara
365 by Zedd featuring Katy Perry
Wish Wish by dJ Khale featuring Cari B & 21 Savage
Sound Of War by Tommee Profitt x Fleurie
Back It Up by Prince Royce featuring Jennifer Lopez & Pitbull
So Am I by Ava Max
Chances by Backstreet Boys
Started by Iggy Azalea
Unforgettable by French Montana
My Prerogative by Britney Spears

Okay, so maybe I was wrong and I have listened to over 20 songs already this month! It took me about an hour just to get that list together, because I kept coming up with songs and trying to add on to the previous list was a pain in the ass, but I got it done so I’m a happy camper now!

Two songs that I have been loving like crazy are “Flexible” and “Wait For You,” they are so good! I was hooked the moment they each started playing. They both have very catchy lyrics and melodies, I am really bad at keeping still whenever they come on so I know that’s a good sign! I am still shocked that Jordan McGraw is actually the youngest son of Dr. Phil! I thought he was a rocker? Oh well, the song’s great.

The one female track that I want to talk about is Alessia’s song “Out Of Love.” Like the other two above, I only had to hear it once and I was gone. It’s such a bittersweet type of song, but it’s also very beautiful too! What gets me though, is that it reminds me of a song that was on the film, Look Who’s Talking with Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, and Bruce Willis. The song that I’m talking about is called “You Need Hands” by Dan Lennon. The reason why Alessia Cara’s song makes me think of this song is when she gets to the chorus and how slow she says each word, the music too helps bring back that similar sound of this track specifically at the chorus. I can’t to find out how many of you actually attempt to listen to the songs and see if I have actually lost my mind or not.

I think the Ben Rector song will always be on my June playlist, mainly because it was literally the first song that I heard on the radio when we got home from Nolan’s birth. I actually didn’t go to sleep right away like my parents, so that is how I managed to hear it. And what was really interesting, is that I heard it on the day of the party! So, it has a very special place in my heart and deserves to be on here every year!

What were you listening to this month? How are you about hearing songs play on days that hold special meanings, whether it’s good or bad?

Happy Birthday Nolan!

Hello!

So today is a very exciting day as it is my nephew Nolan’s first birthday! As far as I know, we are not seeing him today but this weekend we will be together, with both families, so that should be both chaotic and fun at the same time!

I really can’t believe it’s been a year already, I mean, it just doesn’t seem right. The memories of us being at the hospital past 1am waiting for him to make his debut is still very fresh in my mind. The day (and night) was a long one! Blondie was a real trooper though, she was definitely the one who was the most uncomfortable especially before she received the epidural, that’s for sure! I do remember she was absolutely terrified to have that done, which I would be too, but I think for her I know she didn’t like the fact that Brandon wasn’t allowed to stay in the room with her. Another thing I know she absolutely hated was how many times they tried to stuck her for the IV. Despite her love of tattoos and piercings, she really doesn’t like needles that much! So, this was not something she looked forward to by any means.

When he decided that he was ready to come out officially, my dad and I were forced out of the room. I was okay with this, because honestly somebody needed to stay with him as he was wreck for most of the night! He does not like to see us in any sort of pain, so his youngest daughter going through labor almost put him over the edge quite a few times! As we were making our way out, it finally came to me that once we leave the room, she wouldn’t just be my sister, she’ll be a mommy to a little human. It was such a profound moment for me, because I kept thinking in my head of the times we had together, growing up, and even though I quickly accepted her moving out of the house and eventually marriage to Brandon; she was literally giving birth to her son and my nephew, I realized how different things would be but I was completely at peace with it.

Once we were told he was here, we rushed to the door before telling to stay out a little longer, which was a little cruel because we could hear him just crying as loud as his little lungs would allow him. After like 20 minutes, we were told to come in, but the air suddenly felt different. Of course it did, a baby was just born! I think we were there another for 20 minutes after the birth before going home, but we were back the next day to take more pictures and hold the little guy.

Fast forward now 12 months, and he is a thriving little dude!

Nolan and I have formed a nice relationship. My nickname for him is “cutie pie” and when he was a tiny baby, I would literally sing those words to calm him into dreamland while he was on my bed . Sometimes it worked, while others didn’t, but that was okay! He still likes it when I call him that, everytime we FaceTime each other, he always breaks out a smile to me. He is obsessed with me! He likes to do things with his feet, and I really adore his hugs! He’ll just wrap his arms around my neck and just stay there a few seconds which makes me so happy considering I wasn’t able to hold him as a baby like everybody else, so this makes up for it entirely!

My dad has already told me that he sees us getting into a lot of trouble later in life. I can agree with that in some firm. However, for the most part I am pretty strict with him, especially when it comes to my wheelchair–which is another thing he loves!–I don’t want him to get hurt by tilting over his walker or “car-car” so I have to basically grow another spine and tell him “no” and that’s definitely not one of his favorite words, everytime he gets told that he’ll instantly put his hands over his ears, and make his pitiful face at the same time, so you instantly feel guilty afterwards.

Nolan is a smart cookie though. When he was about six months old he started pointing at things, that one index finger gets a good workout considering the amount of things he tries to touch and mess with, and through this we figured out he really loves the color red a lot. My seat belt has the word “PRESS” in that color and he knows if you push it, something happens. So, he already has that curious mind to discover new things. He loves a number of other stuff besides of getting into things he shouldn’t, like fruit, animals, books, and water.

When his parents first started him on solid foods, he wasn’t really into a lot of different fruit. However, he really loves bananas, blueberries and strawberries. We recently figured that whenever he says “nana” it isn’t for my mom, which she is called “Mimi,” he might actually be asking for bananas! It took us a few months but whenever we talk them amongst ourselves, he starts saying that a lot!

As far as animals go, when he was first born, I found this cute book that was about baby animals and it included spots of various textures, like faux fur on the bear, lamb, and lion cub. This is where we saw that pointer finger coming out because he loved feeling them. Since his household is basically a zoo, Chipper and the cats have grown to love their non-fur brother. Unfortunately, our dog ChiChi is still not a fan of him. She still growls and runs away when he gets too close to her on all surfaces! There are a couple of times where he has had a chance to pet her on accident when she is close to any of us, but it is always a brief moment between the two of them!

Lastly, he loves water! After he was first born, like all babies, they’re very unsure about taking a bath. He’s never enjoyed the fact that he has to take off his clothes and put on a new outfit afterwards, because he loves being a “nakkey-baby” so much, but getting into a bath is literally his favorite thing ever. Blondie and Brandon are still not very confident about letting him in a tub by himself, so someone is usually in there too. He loves to make waves and splash like crazy! He even enjoys laying flat in the water, and recently he got to go swimming in a pool and he thoroughly enjoyed that too! My sister was the same way, she loves being in the water for a couple of hours swimming and talking with friends.

This first year has flown by, but I have enjoyed seeing the transformation he’s made so far. I absolutely love him, he makes me excited for the future. He has a brought back a part of myself that I felt was fading away, so I owe him a lot for giving me my hope back. I also hope as he gets older he’ll actually want to watch basketball games, because we have yet to do that, blame Mimi because I frequently hear “he doesn’t want to watch that” on too many things I try to play on the TV. So far to her, he doesn’t like basketball, Ed Sheeran or Celtic Woman. I’m just trying to expand his interests in the best way I know how, and she is ruining our fun in that department! I really hope he doesn’t lose his curiosity and continues to be a very happy little guy!

Baby’s First Easter!

Howdy!

It has been a really long time since I’ve blogged about a family gathering or in this case, a celebration. I keep wanting to kick myself whenever we babysit Nolan because I have good opportunities to snap a few pictures of whatever he’s doing, so the night before our Easter festivities, I had my mom charge up my camera because it’s been a couple of months since I’ve last used it and I felt like this was a good idea because I’ve been in the middle of something and all of a sudden my camera goes black on me. This way, I knew I would be good for two hours or so, depending on what I think was worthy because that in itself is a totally different story. Since my nephew has become very mobile either when he is in his “car-car” or army crawling on the couch or floor, the booger is fast. and he changes his reactions quickly that I needed a lot of juice in my camera so I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else for help if it dies on me.

Nolan is at the age where not only does he put everything in his mouth, but he is very aware of things. When it comes to holidays though, I think we all kept going back and forth whether he would be interested in going on a makeshift Easter egg hunt. He loves colors, mostly red, so we figured he’d enjoy that part but there was the fact that they’re somewhat slippery and they can split apart. These are two things that he hasn’t experimented with a lot lately, so there was a slim chance that he could ignore my mom and I’s best efforts to make the living room into a sea of shiny colors!

When they first arrived we basically fell in love with his little outfit and gushed on him about it. Blondie and Brandon looked very nice too, but they didn’t get as much attention as him, which I think they were pretty fine with anyways! Personally, I thought he looked like a little farmer with his overalls, and since the redness in his hair is starting to push through more often, he looked like an Irish farmer! After obsessing over how cute everyone looked, we took some family pictures and surprisingly Nolan actually minded really well. Once he noticed the eggs all around though, he began to lose interest with family pictures pretty quick, but we managed to get everyone together before we released him to check them out.

One year, Blondie and I had to settle for an inside Easter egg hunt and we even did one for Halloween too (only because it rained for four days straight!). We weren’t happy about it at first, but I actually enjoyed it because I was allowed to get on the floor and scoot around to the candy. When we officially decided on this idea I was really pumped to bring it back for him. It’s in a controlled environment and leaves clothes very clean afterwards, or it should. I think Nolan enjoyed himself, that is until somebody tried to take away one egg so he could look for others. He didn’t really like that part, but he was obsessed with the eggs though! He played with them all day long.

Nolan also received a couple of baskets from the Easter Bunny as well! The one that came to his house got him a backpack instead of a basket, because the next day he was to start going to the babysitters and it would be an easy place he could put his toys in, and honestly it’s a freaking adorable idea! The backpack came with a few various sizes of Hot Wheels cars that not only can he enjoy but his daddy and his Aunt Meggie can too! The Easter Bunny came to our house too, and asked his MiMi (my mom) to decorate his basket. Next year he might want to consider asking me instead and you’ll understand in a minute what I mean. He got a very cute soft lamb that says the Jesus’s prayer for children. He was also supposed to have a sippy cup but Pa-Pa apparently couldn’t wait and let him try it out a week in advance. He’s known to do this, I was supposed to receive my first cell phone on my 16th birthday but he couldn’t wait anymore and gave them to us two days prior! He’s a soft-y when he wants to be!

After that, we had lunch, the adults had lasagna but Nolan had half an avocado and almost a whole banana! A couple of weeks ago, he decided that he was done with baby food so now he only drinks formula and people food. My dad has never been happier!

I think he had a lot of fun! I know we all did that’s for sure! Nolan has a lot of energy, and I love playing with him. I swear he gives out that energy everytime he comes over. Everything is innocent in his eyes, he’s not scared of anything, he’s not jaded as we are and I think this is a time to really cherish because as he gets older he’ll lose all of that and fear most things and can be influenced in other directions. We’ll get to all of that in a later  date though, right now let’s focus on these moments.

How was your Easter weekend? What were your traditions growing up? Do you have an alternatives when it comes to a rained out egg hunt? Let me know!

A-Z Disability Challenge | C : Be Truthful To Your Children

Howdy!

This post is very close to my heart. Since my sister found out she was pregnant with my nephew, I wondered how we were going to explain to him about my disability. It’s kind of easier to explain to children in the grocery store about how came to be like this. Our go-to is “god made me like this” or “I was born like this” but I have a feeling Nolan isn’t going to let those explanations slide. I think it is important to talk about disabled people with young children.

I’ve never been able to hold him like everybody else because of my arms, so imagine the expression on his face when I started basically wagging them in front of his face when he was about three months old! He was mesmerized that these large hook-like arms that were just swinging back and forth. He’s been practically in love with them ever since. He has expressed his interest in my feet recently, one day he was on the couch and I started waving at him with my feet and he just starting waving with his foot! He’s starting to realize how different I am compared to his mom and dad. We have a special connection.

Children are both very curious and honest creatures. They haven’t been in this world long enough to see the bad unless they’ve been taught it since they were in the womb! They like to figure things out for themselves, and only ask their parents or grandparents when they’re a bit lost for words. I’ve seen a lot of kids in various ages, stare but also try to shield their faces so you don’t notice them. They usually wait to ask questions until I’m fully out of view, but I’ve realized if I tell them “hi” or I wave at them, they’ll just put you on the spot right there and you just have to go with your gut and hope their families will fill in the gaps the best they can after you leave. Here’s my advice to parents who would rather dodge this discussion because you think it might be too difficult for them to understand; if you’re comfortable then explaining the differences between a girl and a boy’s anatomy and/or race, then saying something how a person could be in braces from head to toe, standing in crutches, or rolling around in a wheelchair will be a piece of cake.

How do you explain to children about disability? Where do you stand on educating people on how to talk about some of the more common disabilities, like spina bifida, blindness, deafness, or even cerebral palsy to children at home or even at school?

Looking Back & Forward

Howdy!

This is last blog post of 2019! I cannot believe we are now embarking on a new journey. I know everybody (or most likely) will have different resolutions for the new year. I think with every passing year, people will make these lists and have good intentions but as time goes on, we seem to forget everything we wanted to accomplish in the beginning! I was like that for most of the year. I published a blog post at the start of 2018 talking about some of the goals I wanted to do, and only managed to do two on the actual list. However, I think this is a win because I completed two specific plans during the whole year!

The goals I was able to do this past year were:

  • Make time for other stuff

  • Write Out Ideas

Everytime I tried to plan out my blogging schedule or anything something would happen. There were a lot of different obstacles in the way and it wasn’t until the end of summer that I just gave up with planning and just let everything slide!

At the start of the year I got sick for the first time since probably 2012 and I wasn’t allowed to do anything but tightly wrap up in my fleece blankets to sleep and sweat it off. I was basically scrambling to get material written and scheduled on here and my social media accounts for you guys, but somehow in the mist of it all I just decided that I needed to stop stressing myself out so much that could wait until I was healthy enough to officially be ready to come back, thus I made time to recover and enjoyed being lazy and watched television for hours on end!

As you might remember, my sister was originally due to give birth to my nephew on the 4th of July weekend. Well, I had some ideas on what kind of content I wanted to release during the month of June and parts of July too. The only one that never changed of the first plan were the baby shower and nursery tour. Well, since little man was born kind of early, my whole schedule was basically put on hiatus; and I relished on the fact that I was now an auntie to this little human but after I took some time off to love on him, I wrote the only post that went up after his birth in the summer before my mental health took a downhill and where instead of being awake at night because of my drippy nose and uncontrollable coughs, I was in the middle of a depression spell one week after being put on antidepressants.

As I suffered every hour of those 31 days, Netflix and I began fast friends in that time period as I binge watched The Flash, Arrow, Supergirl and every nature documentaries I could find that was hosted by David Attenborough. After two months went by, I suddenly had my energy back and was able to write blog posts again. I even started to read again, and I was really enjoying reading “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” by Jenny Han. I really wanted to get it done before the movie premiered but I still haven’t finished it or “Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children” by Ransom Riggs, but I’ll get to it and they can be something I can do this year!

After September, I was just me again. I had no issues, other than the increasing back and knee pains but mentally I was doing better and that was okay with me! I have had slower weeks and whenever that happens I just let myself give in and take some time off of everything and when I feel good enough, I jump back in again but now I’m at the point that I don’t try to fight it. I need to make time to create better ideas and ultimately material for you all and I like being able to scoot away from everything every once in a while. I’m never totally offline during the break, but I am out for three hours at a time so that’s a big thing for me!

Would you like for me to do a separate post of my favorite blog posts of 2018? 


For 2019, I have a few things I’d like to do but I have a new project for GMB!

I really want to challenge myself to come up with as many disability themed pieces as I could for my blog. So, I have created an A to Z Disability Challenge to get me through half of the year. I don’t know what really inspired it, I just felt like I needed to talk about these themes on here a little bit more. A lot of the articles will be things that I’ve personally went through in my life. I think it’ll give people, of various ages a totally different outlook on how one disabled person’s life should be, and it also shows the parents, grandparents, etc ideas on how they can give their disabled child or young adult a chance to be proven wrong.

I am very excited about this project. I’ve actually been thinking about it since the end of July, which is a little odd considering I did not want to think of anything blog related, but managed to come up with this anyways. I asked my Facebook friends of ideas on letter suggestions, so every letter is represented by a certain disability theme, like B is “building trust” so I’ll be discussing how a person with or without a disability should develop trust with people. Another example is the letter H and the theme is “Asking For Help” and we’ll be talking about why you should ask help and most importantly teaching others how it’s better to ask a disabled person if they need help with anything, before you go ahead and do it for them.

I’m hoping that these posts will be starting next week, but it would all depend on anything big happening in the meantime. My family is in the process of moving into our new house, and it’ll whether or not we have internet when those pieces will be published, but they will go up on a start of a new week, so hopefully everything will work out well enough (but so far nothing’s been on time) but who really knows!

Are you making any resolutions or goals for 2019? What are you most looking forward to?