A-Z Disability Challenge | S : Sexaulity

WARNING: This mentions mature sexual content. If you are not comfortable in reading about this, I highly suggest you click the “x” button on the top right. This is an educational but personal post that I will NOT apologize for, it is very important for others with disabilities. Please respect what I have to say, and enjoy. Thank you!

Oh boy!

I think talking about disability and sex are very taboo topics. I should know considering it took my mom and I a fairly long time to even start having discussions about it. When it came to my sister, I feel like it wasn’t that bad and yes, I was there for the majority of that talk. For me though, I knew what sex was (I always have), but there were things that I couldn’t get my head around. Ha ha! Blondie was roughly 15 or 16 years old when she received the talk whereas I was 19 or 21! I feel like at that those ages, you should be somewhat of a pro when it comes to knowing things and of course having sex!

One of things that Arthrogryposis has basically taken away from me, is my ability to pleasure myself. I can’t mastrubate like other women. I have asked questions about this to a group of women who also have my condition and they’ve been helping me figure out alternatives. I also don’t think I’ve had a proper orgasm, but as I have been told, it takes a lot to get that far apparently! If you have a disability and worry about your lack of sexual experience, you know what I’m talking about, because you feel like you’re missing out on something that everyone is doing. You just feel lost in your own body and you don’t really know how to resolve this issue as a whole.

Honestly, I am afraid of having sex. As much as it excites me, because let’s be real here I watch porn and read erotica novels, and I response in the right ways, it’s the physicality that terrifies me I guess! I mean, I can barely get through a couple of seconds when I have to put vaginal cream inside my vagina, because you have to use a syringe and it makes me feel really uncomfortable – half it is because a parent has to do, mostly it’s my mom! This might be the other reason why I am semi okay with never been on a date! I’ve never had to really think about what happens afterwards; once I cross that line, how am I going to feel? I know it’ll hurt, but how much?

Last week, I watched Nikki Glaser’s Netflix comedy special Bangin‘ and oh my gosh, it was freaking hilarious! I am usually not a fan of sexual humor but the whole thing was funny! It was also shocking that she was talking about things that I have been thinking about for years! She starts off discussing blow jobs and I’ll tell you, I will NOT do that for as long as I live! What is funny though is that, it was the first sexual thing I ever knew about even before realizing it was a real thing! I still have no idea how I figured it out too. That’s still a mystery to us!

This has probably been the most freeing post out of all the other letter challenges! The reason why I felt like I needed to write about it, is because I know I am not the only one who feel like this! I think it takes a lot of guts to speak up about your sex life, and I just wanted to break out a little more because I am usually very reserved in my posts but I thought it was time to loosen up a bit.

How old were you when you received the sex talk with your parents? Now what about you had sex for the first time? Have you felt like you’ve been left out of the party of what everybody in your age group is doing in their lives?

REVIEW | The Society

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Howdy!

This month was a good month to catch up on TV shows that I’ve been meaning to watch for a while, like The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina, Supergirl and finally The Society. I know this one came out in May, but I kind of kept dodging it because I really didn’t think I would enjoy it, but then I caved and realized I was wrong with my initial impression of it.

Backstory

The Society is a story of 200+ teens who think they are about to go off on a camping trip as part of their final field trip together before graduating from high school an making their way to various colleges. They are dropped off at main square of their hometown of West Ham, to find themselves not with their families anymore. So, what’s their first reaction to this news? Well, to have a big party of course! Afterwards they find out the hard truth of how to be an adult and survive on their own without anyone helping them.

It is up to them to either work together or create chaos. When someone ens up killed, they have to figure out how to achieve justice an protect everyone when they no longer have a police force in their wing. Everything normal teenagers take for granted on a daily basis, is being thrown in their faces to the harshest reality that they will have to rebuild what they love an move on from their childish games.

What I Really Thought

Okay, so I will try my harest to not reveal everything, but I do have a lot of thoughts so if you want to, you can just skip this section!

There were a good balance of what I like and what I didn’t like about it. I guess in a way, I half expected it to have some supernatural effect to it, which in a way it does, but I mean like a mythology beast that haunts the town or something like that. When that never happened I was kicking myself a bit because I was so iffy about the show itself. It wasn’t until the last episode that I actually started to like it more.

The things that I did like about it were things about the characters, such as their personalities and the fact that we get elements of everyday life. I think adding both the deaf and LBGTQ+ communities were great! They never shied away from the possibility of gun violence, domestic violence, mental illness, pregnancy and inexperienced childbirth being parts of the story. It is modern story of survival and it was nice to see 17-19 year old kids telling the story for once.

It was also like a test to see how much they remembered their studies too. After everything that happened with the trail of you-know-who, I immediately went into the bowels of my brain to see if there was a way that they could serve justice is by a firing squad, which is what they demonstrated on the show and I have to say, that is a very brave thing to do for many reasons. If you don’t have a way to secure your prisoners besides locking them up in wine cellars, the death penalty could be an option. A lot of people may not agree to it, but in order to show others that if you’re stupid enough to make a choice like this, this is what happens as a consequence. I hate that fact a single person had to make that type of result, but I fully agreed with that person.

Now there were some things that I didn’t like, kind of goes with the previous paragraph as the leader demands that all guns are to be taken away. I know they needed to be tested to see if they matched the bullet that killed “C” but keeping them for safe keeping really strike a nerve with me as I think this is wrong. I don’t think anybody else what do anything like that again–then maybe besides Campbell! That’s one of our biggest arguments now, whether or not to remove all firearms, but it’s like demonizing the pit bull breeds, it’s not their fault, it is the one that yields the power and in both cases people are the heart of the issue.

Lastly, I wasn’t thrilled when it was announced that instead of continuing the role of being the leader of their establishment, they held elections. I know this is another part of being an American, but considering how the season ended, I really hated the idea. The thing about having chores or living together to save resources were smart! When “H” vowed that things should be different, people should be thinking of themselves and not of the others living next door really made me angry because that’s just somebody’s ego talking and not giving a damn about what happens in the future. By the time the new season returns, we’ll see that these new rulers of West Ham were just in over their heads and chaos will really take place.

Have you watched Netflix’s “The Society” yet? What were some of your thoughts about the plot and overall story? did you enjoy it or hate it?

 

 

REVIEW | The Perfect Date

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Howdy!

I was really confused about what kind of review I thought you’ d most likely enjoy on here so I decided that it would be good to mix things up a bit. I am usually talking about albums, EPs, & TV shows, but I’ve recently seen a new movie early last week and I just thought I need to discuss it only so maybe somebody will understand my feelings on it and we’ll become best friends….or not, who knows!

I was on Netflix one night and honestly I was quite bored. I have a nice hefty list of other movies and TV shows I’ve been trying to finish for the past month but I wanted something new to apparently sink my teeth into, and the first one that popped on my screen was The Perfect Date. Now as many of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with romantic comedies. I used to like them when I was younger, it was just my teenage years really screwed me over of ever believing in love and unfortunately because of that, I can hardly watch one without seeing right through it.

Backstory 

So the story of this movie is the lead character, Brooks basically overhears a classmate of his talking about the fact that he is getting paid by his own uncle to take his cousin to a formal at her school. Of course, the guy doesn’t want to take his own cousin out on like a date, because that’s really weird so Brooks comes up with the idea that he goes with her instead and not only does he get the cash but also to drive the other dude’s car too.

The second part of it is afterwards, is that he gets the idea of becoming a chauffeur by allowing young, rich girls to choose whatever they want him to be, like being a total jerk in front of her parents; complete with the hat tilted on one side and wearing a massive gold chain around his neck he found at a Thrift Shop. He becomes this totally different person both this way and in reality as he uses this ability to his advantage later in the film that makes him rethink everything he wants to be as a human being.

What I Really Thought About It

Personally, I thought I was going to be somewhat confused an maybe it would drag on about it, but I was totally wrong with my expectations on all fronts though. I was really surprised on how light-hearted it was, there wasn’t any type of bullying involved or too much sexual talk in it, it was so clean but absolutely hilarious anyways!

I was a bit worried about Noah Centineo though. Since he was in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before film last year, I was hoping that this had a different storyline to it. That’s the one thing about rom-coms is that themes can overlap each other and since I remember both big and little things in various things, I can spot similarities very easily. There was a moment in this movie that immediately brought me back to the previous film and I thought “oh no!” but luckily it wasn’t too weird. I thought it was different from the other movie so I went on without ever having another thought like that again for the rest of the film.

Although I did recognize Noah and eventually Camila Mendes from “Riverdale”, he was the only one I knew from other releases. I know a lot of people were freaking out about the fact that Laura Mareno was going to be in it, and that she and Noah would be reunited since they were on a Disney Channel show together several years ago, but I didn’t know anybody else, but I actually liked it that way though! It allowed me to see the film and not have me think of where else I might’ve seen the rest of the cast on before. However, I did gush about Noah being on there though. He’s just too damn cute and I couldn’t help myself!

If you’re looking for a fun and relaxing film to watch you might want to consider watching this, because honestly I had the best time ever! It was both funny and full of really cute moments with all of the characters. It was just different so if you’re like me and you also have issues with romantic comedies too, this might be the perfect starter to attempt to get back into them!

Have you seen The Perfect Date yet? If you have, what were some of your thoughts about it? Let me know below!

REVIEW | The Order

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I have been searching for new shows… again! I have a couple of shows that are literally being ignored on my DVR because I would rather search for something on Netflix instead. Sometimes when I go off on these “little” adventures I either come back with duds or really great discoveries, it just depends on my mood at the time honestly.

Recently, I went off into the “New Releases” scroll and found this new show called “The Order” but sadly it was there for like a week and a half before I decided to check it out. On the good note, I am getting somewhat smarter now as I’ve been watching the trailers before I actually start a series in general. As much as the summary wasn’t as appealing, the trailers were responsible for changing my mind about it and taking a chance on it.

Backstory

The Order is a Netflix Original, that follows a young man by the name of “Jack” on his way to a very special college called Belgrave University. One of the main reasons why Jack wants to go to Belgrave is because of this secret society, called The Hermetic Order of The Blue Rose. It’s a society of people learning various levels of witchcraft, and at the heart of the order is a man named Edward Coventry, who Jack’s grandfather or “pops” thinks is the main reason for his daughter and Jack’s mother’s death. Anyways, Jack is on his way of getting into the order when all hell breaks loose, and he ends joining another secret society called The Knights of Saint Christopher. So, in other words he turns into a werewolf and Jack is basically having to choose which side he is loyal to the most.

What I Really Thought About It

I thought the big reason why I decided to watch it was because I was really hoping it would give me that creepy vibe I needed to be able to remind myself on what I need to expect whenever The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina came back to me. I don’t think it did it justice but I enjoyed the effort though.

The rating that was given for the entire thing is TV-MA, meaning it is meant for mature audiences, so I half expected it to be really bloody and gory, but it really wasn’t like that considering the amount of killing that was involved among the characters. It also wasn’t very sexual either, other than the fourth or fifth episode but even then I’d still say those scenes were really PG=13. So, my logic was that it must’ve been given the rating because of the large amount of swearing within the hour-long episodes. Another thing is that, it was really funny, and normally I don’t like dark humor, but the dialogue was portrayed in the realist of ways so that I was laughing most of the time, so both elements really worked out well enough to make me a fan.

I am excited that there will be a season two! After the way they ended the last episode, I know everybody was really confused, and as much as I was laughing reading the comments on Twitter about their reactions of the last episode, I was too eating my own giggles because I was dumbfounded so we all need to know what happens to Jack, Alyssa and the rest of the characters.

Have you watched The Order yet? If you have, what were some of your thoughts? Do you have any theories about why the ending of season one happened like that?

REVIEW | “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before”

Howdy!

I have successfully done this twice now. The first time this happened was when I published the reviews of The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina, and Fuller House back to back without even trying two months ago! In my defense, I had basically kept myself away from watching the trailer and seeing the spoilers on Twitter for about seven months, so the fact that I didn’t make it past two days before watching the film adaption of To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han really doesn’t surprise me.

I have to say if you haven’t read the series or watched the film, you may not want to read this post, because I will be including spoilers in here.

First Impressions:

When I first watched the trailer for the movie, I was both excited and nervous at the same time! It was like the visual summary of the book. However, it became weird how nervous I was when I saw who played what character and I think the only two that I didn’t have a real problem with, were Lana Condor, who plays Lara Jean and Madeleine Arthur as she plays her best friend Chris! Other than that, I was semi-panicking in my head because I didn’t know how much would be different compared to the book, so I knew I had to buckle up and get ready for the ride!

Once I Started Watching The Film:

So, I was having some trouble on how to talk about it on here, I think the best way to begin is to tell you what kind of score I gave it on Netflix. I gave it four stars, but now a part of me has been a bit conflicted as I don’t know why I chose to rate it like that. A day later, I was discussing it with my mom and she said I probably did that because the movie itself wasn’t that bad, but since I read the book beforehand, it didn’t quite match up in the way I wanted it to, so that’s why I think maybe it deserves three stars instead.

For a romantic-comedy, it was really good! I liked the story between the characters, and how young the actors looked on screen considering they’re all mostly in their early twenties. There were a lot of scenes that brought out some of the same joy I experienced in the book, but there were parts were I was really sad too. If it was just a movie and not based off of a book, this would be okay, almost great to me, but it wasn’t! I think since I read and watched the film adaptions of both The Fault In Our Stars and Me Before You and enjoyed both of them, I was kind of expecting it to be as close to the book as possible, and when it wasn’t, I felt really let down. I know you can’t have everything in the movie, but I feel like there was like a 40% of the story included and that’s my personal opinion!

I think they held out quite a bit of key things, like the notes that Peter writes Lara Jean. At the beginning of their “relationship” they agree to write each other notes in class, but it’s not a focal part of the story in the film as I felt it should have, it’s literally only said by Peter when they’re writing up their contract and the large amount he had written to her is revealed at the end, but that’s it! You never get to see him actually write Lara Jean a single note in the whole movie, and yes, I am the most irritated about this little detail, mostly because I think you get to see Pete’s caring personality through the letters. Just because we can actually see the actor’s facial reactions and actions, doesn’t mean that key moments like this should be written out of the film!

Have you watched “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” movie on Netflix? What were your thoughts about it? Did you think anything important was missing from it?

Book Review: “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” by Jenny Han

I think the last time I reviewed a book was back in 2016. I lost my reading mojo, even though I continued to go on YouTube and watch over 7 different booktubers on a daily basis, adding new books onto my to be read list on Goodreads. In August 2018, I decided to take a chance and bought my first contemporary, trending book out there, it was Jenny Han’s To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Honestly, this book has been on my TBR list for two years, and I thought it would be one of those books that I’d either never want to read or purchase it because it was a bit cheesy. Fast forward to now, I’m thankful that I talked my mom into letting me buy it! And the fact that Netflix was releasing a movie based on it, definitely didn’t hurt either!

Backstory – Taken from Goodreads

What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them…all at once?

Sixteen-year-old Lara Jean Song keeps her love letters in a hatbox her mother gave her. They aren’t love letters that anyone else wrote for her; these are ones she’s written. One for every boy she’s ever loved—five in all. When she writes, she pours out her heart and soul and says all the things she would never say in real life, because her letters are for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Lara Jean’s love life goes from imaginary to out of control.

I think I bought this book when the Netflix edition covers were released, because I almost didn’t recognize the title of it until I read the back of it and remembered the name “Lara Jean” so I was a bit intrigued but I also didn’t want to purchase it solely on the fact that it was going to be turned into a movie. I think I really got it for the fact that I hadn’t read anything in over two years and I made it my mission to make time for other things besides blogging throughout the week, so when I saw it, I hoped it would be enough to get me out of my funk and for like two months, it did that for me before I lost it once again. In my defense, I was an idiot and tried to read three books at the same time! Apparently I’m not that kind of a bookworm.

Overall

When I first started reading it, I wasn’t on chapter five yet, and I had already expressed to my parents how much I loved the book! I’ve been out of school, in what feels like forever, but this transported me back to my freshman year and I was seeing the similarities between what I did around all of the cute guys, except I never wrote them all letters. I only did that one and I delivered it in a full cafeteria, and how Lara Jean was around both Josh and Peter.

I think what I loved the most about her was how different or quirky as Peter describes her. I think that’s actually a perfect way to explain her to people. She is mostly a home body, likes to hang out with her family, and best friend Chris then getting drunk and/or high with the rest of the party goers. Besides all of the drama that ensues in the book, I honestly think the letters going out to the boys was the best thing for her. It got her out of comfortable shell and I think she started to learn something about herself as a person.

As far as the boys go, I was going back and forth with them. In the beginning, I was pulling for Lara Jean and Josh, but the more it continued I was really loving this “relationship” between her with Peter. I think my favorite outing between these two characters was their first one, where Peter takes her to go estate shopping at this old house. This is where you get to see Peter in a new light, he’s away from his friends and his attention isn’t on the ex-girlfriend Gen, they’re bonding throughout this little adventure. This is also the readers first glance at Lara Jean getting out of her comfort zone too.

Lastly, I need to talk about something that was added at the end of the book, and I’m not totally sure if the previous editions included them, but in my copy we get recipes of the cookies that were talked about towards the end of the book. I’ve only come across a book that had a recipe somewhere within the book and that was (weirdly enough) Duff McKagan’s autobiography It’s So Easy (and Other Lies) released in 2011. If you’d like to check out that review, you can click here, but I should say that the review was published in 2012. I wasn’t the best blogger at that time, so please ignore the many mistakes included in it, okay?

Have you read the book To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han yet? What were your thoughts about it? Which character is your favorite in the series?

REVIEW: “Fuller House”

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Howdy!

I did not plan on doing two TV shows reviews back-to-back, I kind of figured I would slow down once I finished Sabrina, but by the time I got to the end of that one, I was already halfway through season three of Fuller House.

At the end of 2017, I actually decided to give this show a chance, like most people, I was on the fence about reboots of old shows from your childhood. Full House was a big thing for my sister and I back in the day, I remember coming home from school and instead of immediately working on homework, our mom would make us a plate of chips for a snack and let us watch both Full House and Family Matters on the family TV. Since I was older, I think I remember more of the plot and characters, so even though I hesitanted about this new series, I was really about it too.

Backstory

For this show, we have Candace Cameron Bure’s character “D.J.” moving back into her childhood home after the death of her husband, Tommy Fuller. D.J. has three sons: Jackson, Max and Tommy Jr. When the show actually starts, Jackson is 13, Max is 8, and Tommy is still a baby. After her father, Danny, gets a new job in Los Angeles, her middle sister Stephanie and best friend Kimmy Gibbler and her daughter Ramona move into the house to help her raise the family, like Jesse and Joey did when she was a young girl.

Just because this is a totally new show, it doesn’t mean we lose our beloved characters of the original. Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, John Stamos, Lori Laughlin, & even Blake and Dylan Tumoy-Wihoit are recurring stars to come and go throughout the series. We are allowed to see what all happened after the first show ended, and I’m really happy that they added them back on, but I also like the fact that it’s not always about them. The show covers some of the same topics like in the original. There’s still a lot of talks and hugs in the family, they get a dog: named Cosmo, there’s lots of music, and new and old flames in the mix. It’s really about the next generations living in that iconic San Francisco house.

Characters

I have always loved Stephanie, so the fact that the middle child: Max would be the one to hook me is great. He is definitely my favorite. He is portrayed to act like his grandpa Danny, in the fact that he likes to wear vests and be a total gentleman, with a strong urge to clean everything in sight! However, he does act like his mom as he likes to be perfect and has a great catchphrase: HOLY CHALUPAS! Don’t be surprise if I start using that on a daily basis!

Jackson and Max are clearly opposites in every direction, but I like the fact that they seem to get more along compared to D.J. and Stephanie did when they were younger, but we girls just seem to be a little too dramatic at times. And then, you have little Tommy. One bad thing about the seasons being shorter is that we don’t get the lengthy differences with each age. When the character Michelle was on there, we got to see a baby that wasn’t even a year old yet grow into a young kid going to elementary school. I feel since there’s such a large gab in between, we don’t get to see a lot of the developments of this character. Even though he’s such a minor character, he does steal the show whenever he’s around the family dog Cosmo and hanging out with his brothers.

Now Ramona is different in comparisons to all of the female characters of Full House. She’s the modern, technology driven daughter of Kimmy Gibbler and her ex-husband, Fernado (and no, I will not spell out his entire name on here!) and she is the relativity same age as Jackson, but I see her more like an older sister, keeping an eye out for all of the boys. Considering both of her parents are really nutty, she’s like the polar opposite of them and that’s actually really refreshing to me. She still has to deal with the same old school worries like making friends and smart choices for herself, but to know she has a great family to fall back on keeps her grateful.

Overall

My point of view has changed drastically since I first tried to watch it in 2017, so I am happy I gave it another chance. This show was really good to binge watch at night, but you have to be careful because you will laugh your butt off at the crazy antics of these characters. And it’s not all Kimmy either!

I’ll admit though, there were some themes that I felt were pushed a little bit too much. I didn’t like the fact that D.J. quickly went back into the dating scene, even their dad took two seasons to get back in the groove again. So when the story line was going back and forth between Matt and Steve, I thought that made D.J. look like a slut for having two relationships going at once. And sorry not sorry, I was always Team Matt. I thought her relationship with Steve was good like it was, just as friends. However, once I started season four, I did begin to see the light and thought, “okay, maybe I was too quick to judge.” I’d still like her to go back to Matt if it wasn’t too awkward because I definitely don’t like him with you-know-who.

So, have you watched Full House yet? What’s keeping you away, what are some of your fears of the show? If you have watched it, what are your favorite characters, episodes and even season?