What I Truly Feel About The NBA Trades

Howdy!

So, like every other person who watches NBA basketball, I have been really interested in the trading season, Well I take that back, I’m only interested in where or if my favorites stay on their original teams. That’s all I really cared about in the beginning, but once Free Agency kicked off I just started feeling like I was on Bleacher Report a lot more during the afternoon!

The main reason why I wanted to write this post was because I don’t have anyone that likes to watch professional basketball. My poor mom has to listen to me complain about the NBA all of the time, but when it comes to this, it basically goes over her head. If you are like me and without anyone to talk to about these trades, please leave a comment below!

The LAL/NOP Trade

At the beginning of the month we had the Anthony Davis trade, he made his decision rather quickly but considering he initially wanted to leave back in March, I think it’s fair to say he knew that if he was asked to join the Los Angeles Lakers, he would do it. What I didn’t expect was the six player trade off to New Orleans Pelicans for him alone.

When the announcement was made about Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, and Josh Hart going to the Pelicans, I was both pissed and sad at the same time! And on top of that, my immediate thought was, well what’s going to happen to Kyle Kuzma? Are they going to keep him or not? Honestly, I kind of wish he was part of the second round to go to Nola and I know that’s really selfish to say but I really don’t want to watch the Lakers for just one person. I did that after Brook Lopez went to the Milwaukee Bucks last season, and even though I enjoyed watching them I would rather watch a whole team that I loved, like with the Boston Celtics and Houston Rockets. We will have to see what I end doing once the season actually starts.

What really concerned me was that later that week, there was a rumor that the Houston Rockets were considering giving away Clint Capela, Eric Gordon, and PJ Tucker for Kawhi Leonard. I will be honest with you; I almost shit myself when I saw that! I think it would be a big mistake letting go of Capela since he and James are like psychic because they each know where the other one is on the court at all times!

As for Ball, Ingram, and Hart, I will be watching the Pelicans because they are my favorites. I also heard that JJ Reddick will be joining them too, but I’m having trouble figuring out if that is true, but I am okay with this although I think he was one of the best players on the Sixers team. They seem to have a great team altogether so it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the 2019-20!

Kyrie Irving & Kevin Durant Going To The Nets!

I don’t know what was more surprising the fact that Kevin Durant left Golden State Warriors or that Kyrie Irving was going to the Brooklyn Nets? I think both decisions freaked out a lot of people, but honestly there were signs that both would be leaving their respected teams earlier in the season though. However, after everybody found out that they were each going to New York, it was like the Lakers, Clippers were fighting for the best to become that super team.

These two were not the only players from those teams to leave either. André Iguodala and Al Halford both moved on to Grizzlies and Philly. I am looking forward to seeing Al in a Philly jersey, however I would have liked him to stay in Boston even without Kyrie because the Celtics are a big favorite of mine, and I think Al has a that veteran vibe that could be useful for Jayson Tatum and the incoming rookies too. Honestly, Celtics let go of good players such as Terry Rozier, Marcus Morris, and Aron Baynes that has really hit me hard lately!

Kawhi Leonard Leaving The Raptors For The Clippers

Do you remember when I said that Lakers and Clippers are biting to be the best team on the West Coast basically? I think it all solidified when Kawhi agreed to the Los Angeles Clippers. There were rumors that LeBron was trying to talk him into coming to the Lakers too. I guess Clippers had the better deal!

I think out of everyone, he was the one who kept people on their toes on where exactly he would go next. A lot prayed that he would stay with the Raptors for at least one more year, especially after he helped them achieve a NBA Championship! I also thought he’d stay with them too, but maybe he thought he needed to move on and see what he could contribute to another team like the Clippers.

I think I am finished with this post. These were the ones that really struck a cord with me. At the time I wrote and schedule this, there will probably be more that’ll make me either really happy or mad because that’s how it goes with professional basketball!

Are you a fan of the NBA? Why or why not? Have you been happy with the recent trades? Please let me know because I would like to know what you think of what has happened lately!

Dear Papaw III

Dear Papaw,

Tomorrow marks three years you’ve been gone. It may have been years, but it honestly still feels like yesterday. The whole week before and the days that came after play on a loop in my head. Originally, I had a totally different way about how I wanted this letter to go, but I’ve never wanted these to be too snappy. You wouldn’t have liked that anyways. I miss you a lot, even if some people don’t think I do. I think of you whenever I watch basketball, and I often wonder what you’d think of my knowledge about it and the four professional teams I watch on a daily basis. I think you’d be like dad and hate on the Lakers because of LeBron. I don’t blame you. I don’t care for him being on the team either. I wonder if you’d like the Rockets though since they’re the ones I seem to watch and root for the most of course! I understand why you didn’t like it because of how many attempts a player will take to shoot the ball and the whole scoring process, I’m still not understanding that part yet, but I’m slowly getting there.

On the day I wrote this letter, I went looking for a picture for the banner. I was going to attempt to find one of “Alex” with your old Butler shirt but then I found an album that nana made for us in the family to share memories and old photos, and I found one dedicated to you. I had array of pictures to choose from, but once I saw this one, I knew I had to use it. You’re wearing a Butler shirt and if you’ve been watching them from heaven, you know they’re in a desperate need of a miracle, getting through the Big East tournament and March Madness, which will all probably be over with by the time this post goes out, but you know!

I always thought it was funny how Rick would continue to buy you a Butler shirt for your birthday or Christmas and you’d wear it once maybe and then stuff it back in the closet. You were pretty consistent with your fashion in your old age. We all thought you looked adorable in anything you wore, even if you had food spills down your shirt and pants, we didn’t care. We laughed at you, and apparently you’ve been getting back at us for doing so, because we all tend to spill our food on our shirts a lot more than we usually do.

We are all in agreement that you visit little Nolan. Em posted a video of him reaching up to an invisible spirit; it gave me goosebumps! He is so smart! He actually reminds me of you in the fact that you wouldn’t really flaunt your smarts, sorry, I couldn’t think of a better word there! I think you would have loved him dearly. Now, if you can talk ChiChi into letting him pet her easier, that would be nice. He is so curious about his surroundings, and ChiChi is the only animal that is afraid of him. Honestly, if you saw him in his walker or “car” as we call it, you’d be terrified too! The best way to compare the experience is a four year old me racing around the house in my wheelchair!

Hope you are enjoying yourself wherever you are, and watch over all of us down here too, not just the youngsters. We’re still a quirky bunch but we all need an angel at our side sometimes. Although, I feel like you’d be like a bit of a jokester still, so be good too. You don’t want to get on God’s bad side! So no pranks with some of your friends up there. You told me way too many stories of you growing up with them to know that you all can get into some mischief. Anyways, I love you.

Your granddaughter,
Meg-han.

My New Wheelchair!

Howdy!

This seems so strange to talk about online, because it’s been an incredible long journey getting to this point where I can say “I got a new wheelchair” with a smile on my face! What I find to be even weirder is that, this is the first wheelchair announcement I’ve ever done on my blog! I got my first chair dubbed “the purple chair” when I was four! Honestly, I still don’t think children under the age of four, need a power chair. The only reason why I say that is because of how much of a monster I was driving around in it! I managed to scare everyone I came into contact with, because I was either speeding, not watching out for others, and running over feet left and right. I was a terror on the loose!

In 2006, I received the hot pink chair two days after Christmas. Thankfully, by this time I had sort of grown out of the menace stage, but I still loved to drive fast and threaten people that if they didn’t behave accordingly, I would run over them. So, maybe I didn’t grow out of it after all! If you’re looking at those dates and wondering why there’s such a big gap in between them, honestly, you’re not supposed to have a power chair longer than five years, because of the way your body changes and grows overtime, but after the mess of getting the pink chair, I had both of them passed the five and even 10 year mark! My logic was if it still worked, then why switch to a new one?

For this chair, the journey started back in 2012, when I was in physical therapy for the first time since I was in middle school. My pink chair had officially crapped out on me. It no longer wanted to charge for us. This was also the time where my mom exchanged it with this puny $20 transfer chair, that I would end falling out of close to six times from 2015 to like mid-February! This is why it is literally called, “the death trap” within my family. My dad would do anything to pitch it because he hates it that much! By the end of 2017, I was basically done with anything and everything that had to do with getting a brand new chair, because we kept being stopped by our insurances. It was exhausting and frustrating at the same time!

I want to say a couple of days before we moved into our new house, we got some papers back of things that we wanted included on the chair, that were approved; I was shocked! The only thing that worried us was the fact our wheelchair provider had to order it before the end of the next month. The government doesn’t allow a lot of leg room! And then, we were finally told to look forward to the first week of February, because that was when they were going to deliver it to us! Again, I was stunned! My dad was even surprised on how fast this was now going after waiting almost 7 long years. One of the main reasons why everything was going so quickly was because we had been waiting so long, that we all just wanted a wheelchair that had a joystick on the left side of pedals and it all worked, that’s it. I am supposed to have a whole custom seat put on it soon, but that’ll only happen when the weather improves and my dad can work on the deck and ramp to get me out of the house, because right now I’m a little stuck!


Try to ignore the commode in the background, okay?

The wheelchair itself is very different compared to the previous chairs, because I tend to look at them as the standard powerchair, motor underneath the seat, joystick at the feet. Okay, so maybe that last part isn’t really standard, but is it for me! Anyways, this chair is really bulky. It has a lot of structure and weight, because of the improvements that was put on it,  that wasn’t on my last two.

When I first saw the chair, I was a bit wary of it. After we were told that we would be receiving it soon, I immediately got very nervous of the prospect of having a motorized wheelchair again. I didn’t think it would have been such a big deal at first, because I was mobile while I was in the manual chairs, why was this suddenly becoming an issue? I still haven’t found the answer to that overwhelming question, because I actually haven’t spent a lot of time in it yet to finally feel comfortable with it yet.

Here are some new things that was put on this chair!

  • It has 3 controllers!
  • I have two different speed features – indoors & outdoors!
  • It can lean back while I am still in the sitting position.
  • The joystick and foot pedals can move up and down.
  • I have 6 wheels!
  • While I change directions from left to right, the middle tires stay straight but upper part of chair and little wheels turn instead.
  • The armrests lift up like a Lamborghini
  • I have headlights but no turn signals unfortunately.
  • When you look at the back of it, you’d swear I was a damn Transformer!
  • Oh, and it’s red.

I think the two things that has everybody freaking out is first the fact that I can lean all the way back. I could actually sleep in my chair! Once I get my new seating, I might just be doing that if it’s really comfortable! When I sat in it, that was one of the first things that I was shown because the dude that helped us get it, Shelby, is as much of a goofball as I am! However, since I was already nervous about having a wheelchair again, this happens.

I was way too happy to be back to normal, sitting upright again, after he showed us the rest of the changes made to it. The “main” controller really is cool, because a lot has changed since my first chair where I only have the color coordinated lights of how much battery there was, and knobs for the power, horn and of course the joystick. These newer models are progressing to the point where they have a good quality screen, it’s easier to read and understand. You can apparently hook it up to your phone to move it even if none of the controllers want to work for you! Even though, I have one controller that is situated on my left armrest that is purely for what I’ve just explained a little bit ago, I can also do it on my own screen using the buttons and stick to alternate how back or forward I need to be. This feature is on all three controllers on the chair!

Now we get to discuss the color preference. This was actually really easy compared to the second chair, which I will stand here and tell you that I never picked one out. I would never chose hot pink for anything! I even tried to talk my sister out of having me wear baby pink for her wedding! I thought since I was her maid of honor, that I could get away with wearing it in silver, but nope. I lost the battle. So, this time I was determined to pick a color for this chair to hopefully avoid this disaster again.

This time around, there wasn’t a large amount of colors to pick from, but even then I still felt obligated to get purple because I love dark purple, but then I saw both the electric blue and red. I thought about having a blue chair for my love of Butler basketball and of course my papaw, but once I saw the red, I knew I would automatically go for it. I was asked twice how color I wanted my chair and both times I said red. If you’re unsure why I decided on red, well it’s for my love of another basketball team: Houston Rockets. Even though I love and watch four separate teams, I just felt like I needed to choose a team and color that I know I enjoy watching during the colder months. Since I picked out the color back in October, you should have seen my reaction to the color of my new camera I got for Christmas! It’s navy blue like Butler!

What do you think of my new wheelchair? For those of you wheelchair users, were you ever nervous before getting your chair? Do you have any special reasons for the color of it too?

BASKETBALL IS BACK!

bballHowdy!

Basketball is back is finally back! Technically, it’s been back for two months now, but I don’t usually like to count it until college basketball begins. Once I’ve watched my first Butler game, I can officially celebrate it fully!

I made this blog so I could have a safe place to basically unleash anything I thought was important to me, and I’ve had to really figure out if I wanted to do this post. Basketball being at the heart of it, but you will read some bittersweet things too. I just wanted to let it all go and this was the result.


Shameful Beginnings

I like to think how I got into college basketball has a happy storytelling; I feel like I was influenced spiritually by my papaw. I like to tell people who I think he was bored up in heaven and needed somebody to let him watch basketball, so he turned to me because I was the only one that could be open enough to actually watch it. After he died, my family hardly watch a IU or Butler, so when I started, I did like it but I certainly miss the fact that he’s not there watching it on his TV in the kitchen of their house.

I’d really like to say that I felt the most of guilt because of the fact that I never wanted to listen whenever my papaw attempted to teach me the positions and whatnot years ago, but unfortunately it’s not that at all. Although I still feel bad for not allowing him that opportunity, but I think he’d be proud on what I’ve been able to learn on my own and some things that my mom, knows more about basketball then she previously thought, so I think that would make him a happy camper! Basketball has even improve my math too, which kind of still freaks me out, but I’m okay with it.

I started watching college basketball in the 2016-17 season. I literally only had one team but then as the season went on, I did begin to watch some of the other teams in the Big East conference.

A year later, about a month before college basketball was to start I got some unexpected news. Well, it really wasn’t just me, it was the entire family that got the news. On October 22nd, was both a good and also a bittersweet day for me. I found out that I was going to be an aunt for the first time. Now you’re thinking, what could be bad about that? Well, my sister and brother-in-law had been married for about four months and they had basically told us that they were going to wait about 10 years before trying to have children. Selfishly, I was kind of happy about that decision. Here’s why.

As somebody who has a serve physical disability, you are left out on a lot of lifetime experiences. When we were asked in school what we wanted to be when we grew up, everybody had some realistic and sometimes outlandish careers picked out, but I’ve always wanted to be a wife and mother. I think this is because I was around my mom and my nana so much growing up that it’s also been a big interest to me. Honestly, I’ve never really told anybody this, because I didn’t want to pity, but I really want somebody to love me truly and I want to be pregnant, go through labor and delivery, change diapers, give baths, and just love on a small creature that I helped make of my own. So, the fact that this was happening to my sister was pretty devastating to me.

What’s weird about it is that I didn’t necessarily get this feelings when my cousin was pregnant back in 2016 (or when she got married a year later!), mostly because I think she lived somewhat far away and I didn’t really communicate a lot with her. So, her pregnancies have never made me feel sad, it was just my sister and in a way I understood the reasons behind it. So, after she announced to the world that she was pregnant, I remember feeling my heart sink a little, but once I realized that it had done that, I started to layer on the guilt of feeling like that.

Later that night, I thought if college basketball can help me get through my papaw’s death, I was hoping that maybe professional basketball could help me sort out my thoughts of the fact that I will eventually become an auntie, and not a mother myself.

The Definition Of Devotion

I’ll be honest, those nine months were a bitch. My sister had a somewhat complicated pregnancy, mostly with her pain and getting Gestational diabetes towards the end of it. She actually didn’t like being pregnant and she had some problems feeling confident in her own body as well about the prospect of becoming a mother to this small child. She was a mess, and I wasn’t much better.

For a whole month, I had decided to watch about four teams (Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, San Antonio Spurs, and Gold State Warriors) but I really didn’t enjoy them, I just watched them to get me out of my head. Every quiet moment had been awful. So many thoughts would come shooting at me from every angle, all of my bad memories would basically come at me hard and those four teams were part of my escape plan at night.

However, the week before the first Butler game was to come on TV, I had watched my first ever Houston Rockets game. They went up against Detroit Pistons and it is the only clear memory I have at that point of time. What I get from that means I probably didn’t watch the others as well as I did this game, because I was so mesmerized on the fact that on each side the players were hitting threes and I was dumbfounded. I’m still mad at myself for never finishing that game, but I was instantly hooked! And then about five  days later, I watched my first Los Angeles Lakers game and again, I was just instantly stuck on these guys.

By the time college basketball was in full swing for the 2017-18 season, I had a total of 10 teams I was watching constantly, hell I would add both Oklahoma City Thunder and Philadelphia 76ers to the list, but not until after Christmas was over. I had a lot of basketball to not only keep me happy but also keep those negative thoughts at bay. It wouldn’t always work, but on the days I really needed it, the sport was there.

Out Of The Ashes

After the championship games were over, I was really worried about what I would do now. I had essentially four months to kill before my nephew would finally be here and I was left to my own devices again and I think that scared me more than anything. By the time, my mom had been told about everything going on with me, she tried her best to comfort me with a whole lot of hugs and wash rags for my nose because it really didn’t matter if it was daylight or not I would just break down.

I’ve never been on antidepressants before this, I feel like I probably should have been on something after I had graduated from high school, and again in 2011, but I was very hesitant about it because I didn’t want to rely on a small pill to help make me feel better, but honestly I had no other options left and I was finally put on my first dose a week after Baby Nolan was born. A part of me was a little mad that we had waited all this time and I started them while he just got here, because I think it would have helped me out a bunch to stop feeling so jealous.

I really love being an auntie to my nephew, which adds to the guilt that I’ve held so deep inside. I’ve never told Blondie or Brandon about all of this before. I could never find the words and I was always afraid they wouldn’t understand or would be angry with me for never saying anything about it (especially my sister), so if they do decide to read this post, I just want to say, I did not plan on this. nobody really does but now that Nolan’s here, I love him dearly and I would do anything for him because I know he’s going to look up to me. He is already learning things that I’ve done in front of him like getting a drink out of my cup. He’s been recorded reaching for his mommy’s frappe once so I’ve already been teaching this little man without really trying and I get so much joy out of being around him. His toothless smiles are intoxicating and I really can’t get enough of it!

Who Am I Watching This Season?

Over the summer, I did something that I never thought I’d ever do. I watched the NBA Draft, NBA Awards and Summer League. Yeah, even my dad was shocked! I mainly watched the Draft because I knew that Villanova was losing four of their best players on the team and I just wanted to know where they were going, so with that being said I now watch the Milwaukee Bucks because that’s where Donte DiVincenzo is playing now. Just for an extra bonus, one of the reasons why I even liked watching the Lakers, Brook Lopez was traded there. I wasn’t originally happy about that piece of news, but I like seeing both of them on the same team now.

When professional basketball started in early October, I had made the decision to cut down on the amount of teams for this season. Since I am increasingly learning more about it in general, I wanted to shrink the list or switch out teams as much as possible. The only one I watch from the original “back up” lineup is the Boston Celtics. I mainly wanted to keep them because I have a “few” favorite players: Jayson Tatum, Aron Hayes, Al Halford (who I tend to get confused with Eric Gordon!), and Gordon Hayward. My dad thinks I like them because their coach Brad Stevens, who is a former head coach of Butler Bulldogs – it’s not true!

When the previous season was dwindling down and LA Lakers weren’t in the playoffs, I had temporary traded them with the 76ers. I really like Joel Embiid and JJ Redick a lot. Ben Simmons isn’t that bad, but he did not deserve that “Rookie Of The Year” award. I can’t wait to see how many other “rookie” players will try to say that in the future. The 76ers is a team that I frequently watch now, but since I’ve only seen probably 8 games total, I don’t have that many thoughts about them yet. Key word: yet.

And finally, I am still watching both the Houston Rockets and Los Angeles Lakers. This summer was pretty interesting, I literally watched the NBA Awards in hopes that James Harden would win MVP. I decided to watch that live, but taped it because I’m not an idiot, I fell asleep in the middle of it, so that morning my mom knew who had won but I made her promise not to tell me because I wanted to watch it. I was so happy, but unfortunately I wasn’t allowed to get too excited because my dad was asleep in the next room and I didn’t feel like scaring the crap out of him! I also had started following Bleacher Report on Twitter to find out of the different players who were being traded to other teams, and when I saw that Trevor Arzia had signed to Phoenix Suns, I was a bit sad but nothing compared to the nervousness I had at the possibility that Clint Capella could be leaving. Oh my gosh! The day it was announced to resigning with the Rockets was the best! When I saw that, everybody was awake so I was allowed to scream, I was so happy!

Another trade I was upset about, was when Julius Randle left. He was the second person to get me into the Lakers, so the fact that I was now down two out of three was nerve-wrecking. And then on top of that the whole world found out that LeBron James was becoming a Laker. For most people, especially everybody in LA alone, was ecstatic! I was not. It’s shocking that parents, coaches, hell even teachers tell kids everyday that there’s no “I” in team and yet whenever LeBron goes on a team, he’s #1 and everybody else is just a shadow behind him. The reason why I wasn’t thrilled about this, is because I liked the fact that it was the team of youngsters. You have Brandon Ingram, Lonzo Ball, Kyle Kuzma and Josh Hart that are all under the age of 25 and they all have real potential to lead a team, and yet now the spotlight doesn’t really shine on them as much anymore.

If you’re wondering about who the final player that got me interested in this team was Ingram, so imagine my face when he shoved James Harden on their first game of the new season. Yeah, I was actually enjoying it until that happened and all hell broke loose afterwards. My heart hurt as it was happening and I was glad that I had recorded the game instead of watching it live or I would have probably been in tears. If you’re reading this part, and assuming that the only reason why I could have done that because I have a crush on Ingram, Harden or any other of the players, you obviously didn’t read the post all the way through.

As far as college basketball goes, I am still and probably always going to watch Butler. Although, I am going to have to get a new shirt as I’ve officially outgrown it. Nolan has finally worn his Butler onesie already, but whether or not he can fit into is debatable, so it might be time for the both of us to get new outfits! And I will watch both Xavier and Villanova every once in a while; I actually don’t care to watch Nova during the Big East conferences, because they are really my team’s enemy. I admire them and practically know everybody’s names and numbers now, but I know better to root for anybody that could make them lose a game!


I feel the need to apologize for the long post, but there was a lot to get out and I thought it would be better to get everything out in one go, so the fact that I’m over 2,000+ words was definitely not planned by any means! I would like to say that if you have read the whole thing, kudos to you for getting through it. Now that everything is out in the open, maybe I can just enjoy being an auntie and watching basketball in all forms! 🙂

snowflake

Did I Watch The Winter Paralympics?

moviws

Howdy!

First off, I wanted to ask how everyone is on this lovely morning? I hope you all are enjoying or have enjoyed your Monday, hopefully you had a good day overall. We are now in April, and spring is in the air, but just because our calendar says “spring” it doesn’t that the snow will suddenly go away! If you live in an area that has had these experiences in the month of April, you should know better!

I wanted to talk about something today, as you can tell from the banner above, we’re going to be discussing the Winter Paralympics, but before I answer the question, I wanted to ask if you got a chance to watch any of the sporting events? A family friend of mine had some issues finding a channel that was airing it on her television, so she ended up having to use Google Play to see it, but unfortunately they didn’t have closed captions so I don’t think she could really keep up with it as much. As far as I know, she was the only one close to me who showed some interest in it.

I don’t know who thought about scheduling the Paralympic games in March, but it was the worst idea ever! I knew that they were going to be airing the events back in December, but I also knew the Big East conference was going to start up too, and I also had to add in any of the professional basketball games that were on during those two weeks! As those coming weeks got closer, I realized I had to make a decision about whether or not to watch the Paralympics at all.

I didn’t think I would like it as much as the summer games. So I made a last minute decision and didn’t watch more than like ten minutes of both wheelchair curling and sled hockey. After watching all of the basketball games, I just wanted to have time in the afternoon to relax and if I wanted to watch anything, it could be one of my food shows or a Disney movie. Sometimes when I was actually sleeping good during the week, I was literally recording any of my games that came on at 10:30pm, because I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer!

So did you get to watch the Winter Olympics and/or Paralympics? If you did, could you tell me what were some of your favorite highlights? If this was your first time ever watching the Paralympic games, were you ever surprised by a certain event or athlete? 

snowflake

Why Basketball?

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Howdy!

There are some days I wish I could go back in time and smack myself upside the head. I’ve been wanting to do it a lot lately, I’m not going to lie! One of the reasons why I want to do this is because I still have memories of being in the kitchen at my grandparent’s house, I’d be watching my papaw just sit silently–or in some cases yelling or cursing at the TV–while he watched a basketball game. The thought of seeing my papaw resting his elbows up on the table, his hands clutched together and face glued to the screen is still so adorable to me. I don’t think he even knew we were there sometimes because he was so into it.

I never once thought I’d be like that. Whenever I was in high school, yes, I did enjoy going to games but I figured since I didn’t know what exactly they were doing, I shouldn’t be counted as a fan.

When it was football season I would parallel park my wheelchair against the wired fence that separated the sidewalk and bleachers to the black track and football yard on the other side. I was smart with my placement. I could see the players, cheerleaders and anybody going up to their seats above. It was the ultimate spot.

In August, everybody would be wearing T-shirts and shorts because of the summer heat, but towards the end of September and throughout October, you wore hoodies and blue jeans to help stay warm from the cold breeze. I would be lying if I didn’t mention, I was in two layers on both upper and lower halves, but I wore only one pair of socks so I could still grip my controller with my foot and a blanket on my lap for good measure. I was determined to never go home early because I was too cold. If everybody else can make it through, so could I.

Whenever it was basketball season, I had another lucky seat. I wouldn’t parallel park to the bleachers per se, but I would get so close that anybody that sat above me would ask me if they could put their bags underneath my chair to protect it. I don’t believe those “court side seats” would ever be handicapped accessible. Why? Well, just because I was by the bleachers doesn’t make it safer. I’ve had basketballs (and volleyballs) thrown in my direction and one or two players have passed me in a very fast pace. No injuries to either party, but still it’s the fear that lives in the depths of my being and I’d never want to experience that again!

However, there was one game that still lives on in my mind. During my Junior year of high school, we had a sectional game at home. I was escorted to the space in between the extra set of bleachers. I was confused because my normal spot wasn’t occupied or anything, but I guess since all four of us in wheelchairs decided to turn out to the game that night that we’d get special seating. For the most part, it wasn’t that bad. I remember taking a lot of pictures with my friends and I sat next to a very nice lady, a grandmother of a basketball player on the other team. Everything was going good until the first quarter started to dwindle down. I knew from experience that when the players chances of scoring was fading, they’ll throw that ball to whatever side they need to, to get that point.

And then a fear came over me.

We were in the worst seating imaginable. We were right behind the damn basket.

Once I made this assessment, I began to freak out mentally and sweat started to appear  down my back from second quarter to the end of the game. By the time my mom came to pick us up later that night, I had my sister take off my varsity jacket that I had on all night and I never felt so relaxed in the cold temperature in my life. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you whether or not we won, but you can’t necessarily blame me.

The last high school game I ever went to was sometime in 2012. One of the bigger reasons why it’s been so long is because I don’t know anybody playing now. I’m also a bit afraid to see the “friends” that I used to hang out with in school, but I think I’m just afraid I’d act like we are fine and no harm done, when that’s far from the truth. So I’ve found an alternative route, and I find it really odd it would show up around the time my papaw passes away.

In November of 2016, I just had this strong feeling to watch a Butler game. Maybe I was missing my papaw or it was papaw who just wanted to watch a basketball game from heaven, who really knows!

I knew there was one on because I had seen it all over Facebook earlier that day but since my dad hadn’t watched a basketball game since the previous season, he was having the toughest time trying to find out what channel this game would be on. It took three people and two TVs to search for it. We never did find the game, but I started scrolling through the sport channels on the guide–something that I never did before I might add–and I ended up finding over four channels that I actually played Butler games. I was even impressed with myself!

I watched the crap ton of college basketball in 2016-17 season. I watched most of the games that appeared on FS1 and I even watched the two out of three games the Bulldogs played against Villanova (and won!). Beating out a #1 team always makes you feel good, for both the player and fans too! I went on to watching March Madness, which was that, absolute madness! I watched more games than I had most of the week. Everyday there was a different game and I basically let it consume me for a while. Even after Butler was done for the season, I continued to watch and was impressed by some of the other teams in the tournament.

When March Madness was over, I was a little crushed.

Now what the hell was going to do?

I had watched basketball for five straight months. I felt empty in a way, and then of course I found the NBA playoffs and then I was fine again!

Since I’ve never watched a professional basketball game before, I didn’t necessarily side with either team. I just went by whatever location they were in. I ended up watching majority of the playoffs and even the final game. I was glad that the Warriors had won, but I was even happier to finally go to bed that night too!

And then I was back to feeling gloomy because now I knew basketball was definitely over.

When August came around though, I don’t think I lasted long when I bravely asked my mom when college basketball started back up! If it wasn’t for Blondie’s wedding, I probably would have asked that question sooner, but I was good I kept it to myself for another month.

What’s crazy though is that instead of obsessing over college basketball this season, I’ve been watching a LOT of the NBA! I was only going to watch Golden State Warriors, Cleveland Cavilers, and San Antonio Spurs but somehow I started getting into Boston Celtics, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, and Oklahoma City Thunder. I don’t know how that part happened, but I’m not complaining considering I’m starting to learn names on the Celtics, Lakers, and Rockets team. Since my birthday landed on a Wednesday last year, my own birthday gift to myself was getting through the two games that played that night, but Christmas was even better as I even watched four out of the five games!

Don’t worry, I’m still watching Butler. I’ve even started watching over college teams. I had only watched one IU game in the 2016-17 season, and I didn’t even watch any of Purdue games, but this year I have seen four of Purdue and I want to say two of Indiana games. I’ve watched a lot of the pre-season games of Duke, Seton Hall, Xavier, and even Villanova too!

What has always bothered me is that I still have quite a bit of people who think I am only watching basketball because I must think somebody on the team is cute. In high school, yes, this was the way I worked, but considering I’m watching over eight teams I don’t think this assumption works for this! Although there is one professional player I do like, but he is not the reason why I have continued to watch his team play, however it is a perk!

I think the main reason why I’ve felt the need to smack myself though is because why didn’t I pay attention more to whenever papaw would explain the different positions and terms. Thank god for my mom as she’s been helping me a bit. I have been trying to really pay attention to the announcers so I think I can safely say I am learning, but I just wish I had done it while my papaw was alive. I think he would still be proud of me anyways!

snowflake