Early Morning Rambling.

While everybody is asleep, I’m awake. Yes, it is 4:36am here and my crazy ass is awake. I think it’s official. I have a new crush. I haven’t had one of these in years. It’s a different kind of crush, it’s one of those crushes where you actually know the person. They’ve talked to you and you know what they look like and everything. Those are the “perfect” kind of crushes. Having one on your favorite celebrity is different. You don’t know that person, you can look them up online but that’s pretty much it. If they don’t have a Facebook fan page or a Twitter then you’re screwed. I haven’t had a crush like this since I was in high school, so this is my first real crush in two years. It’s driving me crazy to know this dude doesn’t like me for being cute, which isn’t like he was going to be any different anyways? I know I’m crazy, and creepy thing is I feel crazy at the moment.

So today is Friday the 13th right? Today is the day that the Trespass America Festival starts up. It’s the tour that Five Finger Death Punch is headlining with Pop Evil, Killswitch Engage and other metal bands. I got online and went and looked at my Twitter and as I was going down my timeline both Jeremy and Chris had a picture of the lights as they would be doing a performance. Of course, I’m pissed and sad because I can’t go. The one time there is like a bunch of bands coming down here and it’s the bands my mother doesn’t and won’t listen to. Everybody wonders why I didn’t classic rock growing up, I think it might have something to do with her. I’ve been thinking about taking every one of her burn CDs out of her car and making a straight up FFDP mix CD for her. I didn’t think she’d like that very much.

I don’t have a clue what I’m doing today. Hopefully not sleeping in until noon is on that list. I don’t want to waste my day. I have to get things done. I need to finish up my letter and finish my friend’s card so it can be mailed off. She’s sent me two things in the mail now. I got one yesterday afternoon and I was so excited! I originally thought I’d get it Tuesday, but nope. Emily got the mail and opened it up for me. My friend Stacie sent me a key chain that says “I ♥ London” on it. She also sent me little chewable candies from there. She also sent me a little note along with everything. I love getting mail, because it shows how much I am capable of other friendships than just the ones I have here. The only thing I don’t like about it, is that I feel like I’m getting spoiled. I don’t really like it when people buy me things, but if they really want to, then they can. It just makes me feel weird.

Create A Soundtrack That Captures The Essence Of Your 2011 So Far.

  1. Desperate – Fireflight
  2. Waiting For The End – Linkin Park
  3. Just A Dream – Nelly
  4. Courage – Oranthi featuring Lacey of Flyleaf
  5. How We Roll – Don Omar, Busta Rhymes
  6. Not Myself Tonight – Christina Aguilera
  7. Never Gonna Leave This Bed – Maroon 5
  8. Loud Music – Michelle Branch
  9. Gunpowder & Lead – Miranda Lambert
  10. Hello – Martin Solvig
  11. Price Tag – Jessie J
  12. Iridescent – Linkin Park
  13. I See You – Leona Lewis
  14. Hit Me Up – Gia Farrell
  15. Red Sam – Flyleaf
  16. Under And Over It – Five Finger Death Punch
  17. For Those Who Wait – Fireflight
  18. Monster – Paramore
  19. Doesn’t Mean Anything – Alicia Keys
  20. Mr. Know It All – Kelly Clarkson
  21. Fix A Heart – Demi Lovato

Awake But Not Alive.

I’m awake on the forth night. It started on Monday and worked all through the week. Today is Friday and it will be a boring one at that. My sleep schedule is so f*cked up right now. No need to text anybody because they won’t text you back. Can’t watch TV because the colors glare from the walls and everywhere else in the room. I almost can’t go on the laptop for that reason but I can turn the lights down just a bit. This is the time where I need a book or something. Because this getting nuts!

Now I first got up it just because I was trying to roll from one side of my bed without breaking one of my arms off. Then I had to fix my blanket and after that my left leg got really weak and afterwards I tried to use one of my I like to call them my “special dreams” and go from there, but hell, even that didn’t work either. So this is my last resort. Blogging about my sleeping habits. They’re not that interesting to talk about let’s just say that. Maybe I’ll come up with some good topics and titles like I named this one. I’m awake but I shouldn’t be counted as alive when I’ve been getting about four hours of sleep total tonight. Who knows if I’ll go back to sleep later.