February Playlist

Howdy!

I was debating whether or not to actually publish this post, but I felt like I listened to too many great tunes this past month that I ended up talking myself into it anyways.

For the past three or four months I’ve had to listen to music through YouTube because unfortunately, I’ve run out of room on my laptop to keep installing Spotify. So I am just stuck with YouTube, but it isn’t a total loss though, because I’m able to look up a lot of tracks that are not available on Spotify. I’m also able to search easily and listen to playlists of other users of the site. There is one thing that I miss about Spotify and that’s my “release radar” playlist, it’s a list of recent releases of my favorite artists and bands. I am usually more excited to check it out first compared to the “new music” playlist, because it gives me a bigger variety of music that I listen to on a daily basis.

As everybody was doing the decade challenge of sharing a sort of “before and after” on their profiles of what they looked like in 2009 to what they look like nowadays. I haven’t done it, but I have been rediscovering music from the late 90’s to 2009. It’s actually become a bit of a problem, because I want to hear older music than what’s been coming out recently! It doesn’t necessarily work very well when you’re a music blogger! There has been one genre that I’ve been looking up a lot lately and that’s R&B music. I use to listen to a lot of it when I was younger, I liked the catchy lyrics and relaxed vibes of the beats. What I’ve been finding to be interesting (and scary at the same time) is that I am remembering the lyrics and what it was to make me fall in love with the song in the first place!

One thing that is difficult is not listening to both R. Kelly and Chris Brown. I’ve been trying my best to not give Chris Brown a listen anywhere for the past several years, sometimes I’m successful but there are days when I hear “With You” or “Yeah 3x” and I cave in! He does have a great voice, but it’s his actions with the various domestic abuse issues, I’ve tried to stay away as best I can. The same goes with R. Kelly too, after reading and watching testimonies of the victims of his abuse online and the documentaries on Lifetime. I’ve stopped listening to “Ignition (Remix)” on the radio and I really miss it! It sucks when somebody’s actions can take away any enjoyment you’ve felt about that person, but I have to stand up for my beliefs and if that means muting their music then I’ll work on stopping it.

Here are my Top 10 songs I’ve been enjoying lately!

When I Die by ALMA
Fire Meets Fate by Ruelle
Savages by Sam Tinnesz
Goddess by Avril Lavigne
Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars
Loyal To Me by Nina Nesbitt
Gallery by Mario Vazquez
Show Stopper by Danity Kane featuring Yung Joc
Dip It Low by Christina Millian
Don’t Let Go by En Vogue

I’ve been meaning to go back to reviewing albums, but I haven’t been in the right state of mind to do anything like that right now. I do have a couple that I do want to talk about and if I have a good day in the next couple of days, I might go ahead and work on them! I have been wondering about something though. Since I’ve been wanting to listen old music, would you like me to review one of my favorite childhood or teenage albums? I actually rarely ever listened to a whole album when I was younger, so I thought I could give them another try and see how much my tastes have changed over the years. Let me know in the comments if you’d like that.

Lastly before I go, I just wanted to let you know that if you visit my Facebook page on Saturday, I’ll post five extra songs for you to check out over the weekend! Hopefully you’ll remember and like them just as much as I have been in the last few days!

So I’m curious, what do you think is the best year for music? What were listening in the month of February?

Blogmas | Meaning & Topics

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Hi 🙂

So it’s now December which means it is time for Blogmas! And as you can see, I have snowflakes falling down on my blog! I always love that feature and it usually lasts for the entire month too. Back to what I was saying though, last year was my first real year of doing blogmas and I had a lot of fun figuring out what I wanted to write and share with you all. This time, my creativity has hit a dip, but I do want to try to come up with good posts for you to enjoy.

If you are a new reader and wondering what the crap “blogmas” is, well it is holiday edition of blogging; meaning you post about the many topics about Christmas as you want. People tend to do the full 24-25 days but I am comfortable with my three days a week. So you’ll get a new post every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday! If you are into YouTube though, sometimes your favorite people will do “vlogmas” which is the same thing, but it’s more visually so if you’re more interested in watching those, you need to check them out too. Personally, I love both Zoella and Niomi Smart, but I anybody that does daily vlogs you should be fairly entertained for the whole month.


In October, I published a post about some of last minute ideas to do with your pumpkins, and so I had the idea of starting blogmas in the same way. There are some people who are still thinking about joining all of the fun, and I think this will be perfect to help them make that leap! Now you don’t have to do the same things I did, but you can do other things that go with these ideas. I just wanted you to have an idea of what I’ve done in the past, and hopefully they’ll inspire you to have fun throughout the holidays!

How To Wrap Your Presents – As many of you know, I am disabled and use my feet for everything. Unfortunately, I’ve never been taught on how to wrap gifts the “right way” because nobody in my family usually has the patience to teach me these things. So last year, my nana finally did it and I created this post for others who haven’t been taught plus for anybody that likes to see me the crazy things with my toes. Yes, I’m talking about you Rebekah!

Holiday House Tour – This seems so bittersweet as this will be the last post about my grandparent’s house during the holidays. Thankfully, I will always remember the way it looked because of the posts I’ve done over the last three years! If I can, I might do another tour but it’ll be of my nana’s “dorm” she has at the nursing home! I think she’ll like me doing that for her too.

Holiday Nails – There are many ways to do up your nails for Christmas. I’m pretty sure we did Candy Canes one year too! These weren’t the prettiest, but they were fun to do. I really tested my nana’s patience (and mine!) with this one.

Paper Hollies – I still can’t believe nana was the one who found this one! I will say though, it was really fun to do! I think everybody still has theirs so they can add them to the trees this year! If you love glitter, this is the craft for you!

Christmas Gift Bags – This is another somewhat sad post, as I know I won’t be able to do it this year. For the last four years in a row, nana and I did a special goody bag and this would be our last craft, and it was probably our souped up DIY because we decorated the bags, made bark, cookies, the hollies and added two candy canes into each bag for the 23 people! Sidenote: read about the batman snowman I did for Brandon, trust me if you need a good laugh, that’ll help you out tons! 

December Playlist – Honestly any Christmas music playlist will work great for this, but I honestly can’t listen to a lot of holiday music. So I still made up my regular playlist but added some of my papaw’s favorites like Stan Kenton, plus a couple from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation soundtrack because why now?

Let’s Bake Some Cookies – You guys should be familiar with my annual cookie post by now, but if you’re new, we do this every year and it really doesn’t matter who I’m around because at one time we had over 100+ cookies because my nana and I made them and then mom, Blondie and I made some too! At least the ones I did with nana, I could leave the cookies naked if I wanted or just add sprinkles to them because my mom and sister love a LOT of frosting on their cookies!

Milk Chocolate Oreo Bark – This was probably the most confusing but exciting thing I think nana and I ever did! Considering we’ve done a lot of crazy stuff in our times together, this was one in the top 10 things we ever did that probably frustrated her but didn’t break my spirit moments. And I will say, they tasted amazing! Everybody wished they had more. They could’ve just said that to make us feel better, but I don’t know because I thought they were pretty taste-y too!

If you’d like more ideas, I did another post of last minute ideas for 2016 (oops, I forgot about that!) and hopefully these will get your creative juices flowing!

I have three different album reviews (not counting tomorrow’s post!) that we can say fit the holiday category! You have the traditional and original songs by these artists and it was so much fun writing these posts that I might even do it again for 2018! I also have a couple of other posts going up, like a baby wislist for the little “nugget” going up next Monday! And then the next day I wrote about I wanted Santa Claus to get me for Christmas when I was a kid and what I look forward in getting now as an adult; plus I opened it up to my friends and family and added some of their responses at the end too.

One of the last things I do after Christmas is over, is that I post my “Best Of” pieces that talk about all of my favorite posts I did throughout the year. My other favorite is the post that list all of the movies from both 2016 and 2017 “coming soon” lists and rate the movies! I’ve figured out that I have watched a lot more than I did last year, so I will probably be splitting them up like I do with the yearly movie lists that way it’s not too complicated for me to write up like it was for this year’s!

Summary | Best Of 2016Best & Worst In Film 2015-16

So are you doing Blogmas? Or are you going to watch any vlogmases this year? Share with me! 

snowflake

 

The Memory House

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Why is it about moving that is good for the soul, but it also feels like your heart being ripped into a million pieces at the same time?

In every house I’ve ever lived or much less stayed a few nights in, I usually remember maybe a couple of small details of it, it really just depends on whatever happened there. I don’t know why my mind allows me to be haunted by these things but it does. However, there was one house that has a lot of good memories attached to it, so much that it stings of the situation that bubbled up to the surface recently.

My grandparent’s house that has been in my family for decades. If you’ve read my earlier posts about “the aunts” as I’ve recently figured out they are my great-great aunts. They’re parents George and Olive lived there before them, and I think it was only Regina (Ra-kee-na), Lula, and Elsaleah that spent their entire lives there and then my grandparents moved in to help but after all of the aunts died, they were just left with the house. The only difference was instead of it having elderly people in the household, now there were grandchildren around and we began to spend our birthdays and holidays there as a family.

I’ve spent countless days there throughout my life. I’ve slept on the couches and floor, trying not to look up the dark staircase. I’m pretty sure this is where my paranoia really flourished because I remember my papaw saying that there was a ghost up there. When my sister got her first iPod, she had an app that told you whether a room was paranormal or not, well this always seemed to fire up their dog Casey and once Blondie would come into the kitchen they’d race off into the living room, a half dead iPod in head ready to find the ghosts! This did nothing for my anxiety over the years I have to say!

I would go into the living room every once in a while, I would never go in there by myself though. I always went when somebody else was in there with me. However, my papaw would like to play piano in the most random times of the day, mostly when everybody was talking the mouths off, so mostly me! I would stop the conversations sometimes because I would hear these noises and realize they were papaw upstairs probably either destroying something or like I said, playing some notes on the piano. I remember a few times that I just sat on the floor by the couch and listened to him play a few keys and then watched him leave without ever saying anything about how I got there. He knew though. Once he’d leave the room, I would debate whether or not to head back into the kitchen or not to join the rest of the hens.

As I got older the house started to represent something else entirely. Since our house was so wacky I was unable to do things for myself. I was also growing (weight wise), so my family has a difficult time getting me on and off the floor. I started to feel really restless I think, and I didn’t hit my breaking point until one Christmas. I was really wanting to create homemade gifts for my family and I thought it would be a good idea to do it with my dad but I later realized that it wasn’t… He bought everything and he ended doing it all, within four days later I asked my nana if she’d feel comfortable in helping me do the crafts next year because there was no way in heck I was allowing that to happen again. If you didn’t know the background story to the annual DIY Christmas gifts, now you do!

I think that was the same year that I was given the freedom to really do things for myself. I’m only so limited to things in my room because whenever I’m in my wheelchair, the room itself gets smaller! So when my nana was letting me do things for her, like clean and organize different areas of her office or kitchen – since that was our most popular place for our talks and had the most light and space in the entire house to work on our crafts I began to enjoy it more! And I even have memories from my days in preschool where it was time to clean up from recess and as everybody was cleaning up, I’d be cowering underneath the table! I hated cleaning as a child, but since I was allowed to do what I wanted like organize in whatever way I saw fit I began to fall in love with it. Of course, asking your parents if you could your room with no seatbelt so you could reach better does not do anything to calm their nervous, but it is fun to watch them squirm I’m not going to lie!

The last two or three years were spent on trying to decorate cakes and sugar cookies. Creating our first (and probably last) Christmas bark ever! I figured out how to put on a fairly large trash bag on the can itself and open up a pop can with my toes! Towards the last I finally figured out how to open the refrigerator and that took a lot longer than I wanted to honestly! Why do they have to make those doors so heavy is beyond me!

It’s strange one of the last memories of being in that house is of me cleaning out an area of papaw’s room that I was hoping would become my office. An act of freedom that I was given became something that I did not want to do, you know? It was only fairly small corner of the room that was full of things that would come to live in my room. It feels weird to have these pieces of furniture that belong in different places in that house that are no longer there, it’s an empty space now.

I’ll remember the large amounts of light green on the interior, from the walls to the shaggy, 70’s carpet that did not like push wheelchairs. Okay, so I won’t exactly miss the carpet itself but perhaps only the feel of it.

The pink (or peach, the exact color is debatable), white, and blue bathroom that in the beginning of time didn’t exist. George and Olive had an outhouse! It wasn’t until later that they added it in and made it the smallest room in the whole house! The closets had more room than this sucker! Sidenote: The doorways weren’t made for wheelchairs either!

Always calling the kitchen the front end of the house. Nana would say all the time to us that where the kitchen was places was really a back porch, when they put in the bathroom they redid the kitchen too and added on bigger cabinets and put in a cold linoleum floor that even in the hot summer you could sit on it and your butt would feel pretty nice. However, the winter it was just standard to wear blue jeans or just stay out of there because it was so damn cold!

One of the hardest memories that’s going to be difficult to cure is whenever we’d leave the house, they lived on a block so there was two ways you could leave (well, technically three if you could park into the driveway and go to the right line) and those paths there’s some distance but they could always hear us holler bye and they’d wave with their hands or do the symbol for “I love you” in sign language as we took off to go home.

Since this has happened I often wonder if there will be a house I will live in that will make feel these things ever again? Will I continue to collect memories from every house I enter? It’s a big possibility. You’re never fully ready to put your trust into anything or apparently leave everything behind but it’s part of life. You go on and parts of me think I will be back, back then I thought it was because I’m always coming back but then once the decision was made that the house would be sold I still had that feeling. I think it’s a form of denial but who knows, maybe God or some universal divine will take me back to the memory house.

snowflake

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When Your First Love Gets Married

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Howdy!

February has always been that one month that you dread, but as a kid in school, I have to say I enjoyed it because back then we didn’t have any of this dating crap. We had couples that “went out” for a couple of weeks (or days) but there was no pressure to being in a relationship.

I remember every time we had to make Valentine’s Day cards. I’d make ones for my friends but I also made a couple of extras for the boys I had crushes on too. What still gets me though is that half the time, I’d have somebody else give them the cards because I couldn’t do it myself. I still have the memories of the fourth grade passing out my Mickey and Minnie Mouse cards with the cherry suckers taped on the sides and whispering to a friend to pass it to so and so. Everybody knew it was from me though, between the red face that matched the color of the lollipops completely and well, nobody had footwriting like moi!

I can say I had a lot of childhood crushes. Every person will agree with me though, it doesn’t matter how many people you chase after, nobody will ever compare to your first love.

My first crush… I  still look back on the memories of those days where he was very caring and how he could make me smile on a whim. We never dated. I just loved from afar, if you want to call it that. I’m pretty sure he knew I had feelings for him, because everybody else did, including his own family!

When we were in middle school, we had Winter Ball, a formal dance that all of the middle schoolers could attend. If you went to the dance, you could get your pictures taken by a real photographer. In the previous years, I was in a lot of group photos and this time because I knew it would be our last dance before prom, so I wanted to ask my crush to be in the picture with me and if I remember correctly I actually went up and asked him if he would. I had to go and find him in the massive crowds (the fact I never ran over my dresses was a damn miracle – can’t say anything for Junior year though!) but I did find him and we waited in line and I felt horrible about taking him away from all the fun he was having with his buddies and date. Well, that second part is a bit of a lie.

We got our picture taken and within a week later, our photos were delivered to our homeroom classes and I remember being very happy that I got this picture back. Everybody in my family was also ecstatic! My nana still has a copy of it and mine is on top of a bookshelf in my room as we speak! As for him, I remember him telling me that for a number of months his mom had it taped to the fridge and to think this poor boy wanted to continue to be friends with me after that!

I’m not bitter that he’s now married, I can’t say I’ve never been bitter whenever he’d get a new girlfriend in school. I do remember feeling really un-beautiful though, but that is normal behavior for teenagers. I say “is” because it is normal. I have realized that there was nothing wrong with me, he just wanted to be friends with me. That’s all my old crushes ever wanted to be with me, but because I knew I was failing at ever having the whole “high school sweetheart” it pretty much destroyed me in a number of ways.

When I found out he was married though, I was shocked at first, but I was also happy for him. I did borrow my mom’s shoulder that night because I just needed that reassuring I was still enough. I would have used my dad, but he doesn’t necessarily like it when his girls cry, especially over boys because all that ever makes want to do is get even so I didn’t lean on him that night.

When your first love gets married before you, at first you feel like you’re going to need a couple of glasses of wine, pint of ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. My advice for you is to one of these things, if not all of them. I think a good cry is okay, but being down on yourself about the past thinking of if you hadn’t done this or that, if you were prettier in school he would belong to you. You can’t think like that, because you can’t change the past. All you can and most importantly have to do is move on.

I would say you need to watch the best movie for this type of situation: Legally Blonde.

Ms. Elle Woods went out of her way to get into Harvard Law School. She wanted to prove to her newly ex-boyfriend that she could be wifey material despite her ditzy personality. She worked hard to become a student at Harvard and became a perfect student, suffering the wrath of his new fiancée, and yet at the end of everything when she won her case and he saw how much of a badass she really was; she realized that he was nothing to her! So she not only found a new calling in life but she also found her true love there too!

It’s so interesting how cliche the whole ending turned out, but yet it was honest. You never know where your soulmate will find you. You might be acquaintances from school or work, but you could also be complete strangers. You never know where you’ll find that person. I like to think I’m Elle in a way, I’ll find somebody one day that accepts me in all my flaws. He’ll understand my life a disabled woman and he’ll hopefully support my blog. He might even start his own blog or write a book about taking care of me and our little family in the future. Until then, I will relish in the single life one day at a time.

Tell me some of your favorite (or not so favorite) childhood Valentine’s Day memories! 

snowflake

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A Day Of Thanks

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Howdy!

I love Thanksgiving! To me it’s the perfect holiday of absolute fun and chaos all built into one day! You have family members working on the meal itself while the kids watch TV or if it was nice outside, they played out in the yard. If you needed alcohol to get through the day, that was your business and nobody was going to try to talk you out of it because that other person might need a sip later!

My family was quite different, there was always chaos but it was mostly from the fact that it was such a small kitchen and everybody would be crammed in the amount of space left in the room. We would have tons of conversations going at once, sometimes it was just stories in general or people directing what to do next if they were in charge of a dish. Alcohol wasn’t necessarily a big thing in our times together either, which considering by the time food was in the oven, there were already enough headaches going around that I don’t think they wanted to wake up in a hangover that next morning!

This year will be our first major holiday without my papaw.

It’s still fresh in our minds that he’s not here. I am not big at talking about it out loud but while I was very excited to celebrate my birthday at the start of the month I woke up that morning, feeling very emotional because I knew my papaw wasn’t going to be there to help celebrate it. So I understand the feeling of everybody getting together for Thanksgiving and feeling sort of weird and possibly ashamed to have fun without him.

In order to make this post a happy one, I wanted to talk about the good times that we got to have with my papaw during Thanksgiving.

My papaw was very infamous at falling asleep in the middle of anything! A conversation, a game, or just simply having the family all in one room! My sister actually took video one time where she went over the entire room and everybody’s talking or making faces on camera and there’s papaw sitting in the doorway with his eyes shut and head down into his chest. It was so normal that we all thought it was hilarious mixed in with a little cute!

He and my nana were always getting their plates first, he always claimed a leg and would put it on display with a big ole smile on his face! Turkey was the main event and he loved it that my dad, his son-in-law would make for the day.

When it came down to desserts, there were basically only two pies that made their appearance at the table: pumpkin and apple. The only pie that my papaw would eat was the apple but of course a simple dollop of whipped cream wouldn’t suffice, he was very specific that you should only eat apple pie with chocolate ice cream on the side. Apparently, it was a genetic thing on his side of the family but as far as I know nobody else likes it that way! All of the grandkids would have to ask to borrow an ice cream bar because we honestly weren’t into the pies. Of course, later on nana would make a sheet cake for anybody who didn’t want pie and the icing and rest of the whipped cream would be left for the big food fight at the end of the day!

This year, it’s going to be hard to not have our head of the table sitting in silence, enjoying every bite whether it was savory or sweet. It’s going to be difficult to not see him trying to watch something on TV with everybody talking or in some cases yelling back and forth because he’d just turn up the volume. We swear he would do this to piss off nana! By that time, sometimes he’d just give up and go upstairs or go back to bed, which confused us because we were a loud bunch of goofballs when we’re together! No wonder the night of one Thanksgiving, he swore we were making so much noise that the neighbors would call the cops on us!

I don’t know what’s in store for today with my family. I just hope everybody’s positive and thankful that we can remember these memories of spending Thanksgiving as a family and laugh at all of the stupid crap we’ve all done and possibly going to do down the road. I don’t want to ever forget about those times, no matter how old I get, they’ll always live on in my mind.

Hope you are enjoying your day! 🙂

snowflake

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Six Years Ago..

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Howdy!

Thanks to a fellow blogger friend, Manpreet of Simply-M. She wrote about how bloggers should celebrate every achievement and encourage others instead of dragging them down for their personal opinions. If I hadn’t read that tweet I wouldn’t publish this post. The birthday of this blog was back in May, but like I had included in that post this isn’t my first blog. I actually had another that I created in my Grammar class during my senior year of high school in 2009. It was only for one semester and by the time any of the English classes got their students’ individual laptops it was October, with barely two months left of the class. My teacher took a week teaching us the basics and once we all figured that out, she started giving us assignments to do on our blogs.

This year was very, very different for me on two different levels. I had a lot more freedom during my senior year. I had a new and an independent aide that respected the fact that I was my own person. I was also totally into writing little stories. This was the year when Johnny Depp’s movie of Public Enemies came out over the summer. I was so into the whole story of John Dillinger, between the fact that I am a fan of the 1920-30’s and the other was that John was from Indiana. A lot of the dialogue was familiar to us in that movie theater. I genuinely loved that movie, afterwards I thought of what could have happened to Billie, his love interest, after John was killed? I kept thinking of different theories but it all kept going back to a child, a daughter. There’s not much about her life after John’s death so if she had became pregnant in the mist of it all nobody knows. So I kept thinking and thinking of how this story could play out. I picked out the name “Jessica” for her. I had a lot honestly, but nothing wanted to come out until the first day of that class when she gave us a small free write assignment and then it all wanted to come flooding out of me! Thank god for notebooks, but by November and three and a half notebooks later I hit a wall and I haven’t worked on it since.

I’ve always loved writing out little things, but I could never keep a diary or journal. Trust me, I tried a bunch of times in my life. When I was in middle school and I was really starting on this journey of writing songs of every topic imaginable for a teenager girl. My family thought I would use them up but unfortunately I never did! I was always too afraid of anybody looking and reading them without my permission. I didn’t want to be haunted on how I arranged my words or if I left one out like I normally do. Or if I had written down who my new crush was in school. I’m in my twenties and I STILL leave out words in sometimes noticeable places! I’ve never had perfect grammar and I probably never will! Lastly, I’m still fairly afraid sharing my darker topics with my family. I’ve had many notebooks over the years and I’ve never finished a notebook, I’ve attempted but ultimately it’s never happened. So after finishing my last English course of my life I never imagined back then I’d keep up with blogging. I left that old blog up (on accident) and I can say I’ve stopped cringing when I’ve read those older posts, but I wouldn’t share them with the world! Unless you’ve magically found it out there – don’t tell me! It’s in the past where it should be, along with everything else!

It’s just weird that six years ago today I was forced to blog for the very first time. We were allowed to have school appropriate blog themes and content (that’s probably why I never wrote out a chapter on there!). We weren’t allowed to post pictures of our faces or where we were from. I totally regret not keeping those rules intact! I look back and I was on there writing which class I was in and how much I wanted to leave it! I talked about how much I was loving my last year in high school, until about March where you could see everything shift. I had then when our prom, my senior solo and graduation were getting closer and I was feeling really sad! It was all getting to me and at this time, I was allowed to truly release my feelings about it because our teacher no longer had access to it. She told us once we left her class she wasn’t allowed to keep our blogs attached to hers.

When I had made this blog I only read three blogs, very different from right now thanks to Bloglovin and Twitter the list keeps growing more every week! I made the blog as a new beginning for myself! I could be as open as I wanted to be and I was hoping to keep my family away from it like I had done with my first, but I wanted to share it everywhere. I usually warn my family or if a post is too much I tend to keep it off Facebook. My mother discovered that she shouldn’t read my personal posts as she kept crying as she read them! The only reason why I keep up with my FB page is because I’ve got my family and a couple of friends that read the posts through the site.

I still consider myself a small blogger. I didn’t have an over night success like Zoella. Did you know Zoe Sugg and I started blogging around the same time?! I don’t mind being a small blogger honestly. I’m pretty proud of how much I’ve grown through blogging! Back in the day, I didn’t see those “how-to” posts for beginners. I actually hate those posts, I never had the help nor did I ask for it. I’m still learning things and I actually like that! Something that goes along with that. When I first started blogging, I had no contact with other disabled bloggers. I thought I was the only one. I’m happy to say I’m not anymore! I even had an experience that I’ve been cherishing for the past few months. A “new” disabled blogger Brittney found me through Google when she typed in “disabled lifestyle bloggers” into the search box. She read my blog and followed me on Twitter, tweeted me about it. I was so unbelievably happy that she told me that! However, I did have to test it out and sure enough I was the first one that popped up on the result page! Things like this make so happy!

In the beginning, I wanted to create a space for others to escape their problems of their day or in their lives. I’ve done just that. I’ve gotten a lot of good, sincere comments from strangers of the Web who just discovered my blog. At times, I feel so bad for the ones that continue to read my posts because I like to ramble on, as you’ve seen above! It seemed so strange to share the ins and outs of my sometimes complicated life. I try to keep it as light as possible, but let’s be honest here nobody can keep the darkness away for long. You have to face it and I think blogging has helped me a lot over the years. I may not understand every time. I see a question pop up on different blog chats name three bloggers you would like to meet and my name is never one of those lucky bloggers, but that just means I have a lot more to do as a blogger. It’s not a competition by any means, I just feel like I’m not doing enough to branch myself out and if I want to see more disabled bloggers bringing their lives or other interests out on the web so they’re not scared of the public I’ve got a little bit more work ahead of me! I’ve got a few things I still want to do so I’m ready for it.

So thank you for being with me and I hope you continue to follow my crazy adventures! This is my blogging story, what is yours?


Love,
Meg(z)han

Life Lately | 4 Months

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Howdy!

On Monday, you’ll be getting my normal summary of what I’ve been watching and listening this month. It’s been a little while since I’ve given you an update on our babies! We are not very good at keeping track of their birthdays, we barely know who is from which litter at this point! The newest kittens seem to have been born at the same time, back in April. So all of them are four months old! We recently found out that all of them are boys except for our calico, Toni. Majority of you know that we have two black/white kitties and three gray/white ones, well one of them didn’t have a name. I’m still puzzled why we never named him, but before we found out he was actually a boy I had come up with his name, it’s Felix. At first nobody liked it. Blondie still calls him “FiFi” to be honest with you! That is the second kitten that I’ve successfully named. I say this because usually somebody hates the ones I come up with and changes them.

I tried my best not to get attached to these kittens. When it was just Bootsie and Midget’s litters, it was a small group and in the beginning we had homes for most of them… and then Wren came around with her three and we only gave one kitten away. When I realized that there was no hope for dad and we weren’t going to be giving any more of them away I started to come around more and more. I honestly love little Otis, but he is my mom’s baby! So I can’t exactly bond with him like I have with Stormy. I’ve been around a couple of the others but they never seem to like my feet or wheelchair(s) except for Mr. Felix. My mom recently brought him into my room the other day while I was on the floor. At this point I already had Ozzy and Otis. I felt a bit spoiled to have 3 different kittens in my room in one day! He came in and it was completely different from the other two, he was loving the one-on-one attention. We chatted. (I was blessed with sneezing and meowing like a cat at birth!) He kept rubbing up against me and climbing up my back and hands to reach to bump heads. It was so sweet! Blondie said that means they recognize you as “family.” You learn something new everyday!

Yesterday afternoon, I went on the floor because I was a little bored. My sister was doing her laundry in the bathroom and I knew she would be distracted so she wouldn’t hear me open my door and I started to scoot out into the small hallway, waited a bit until she was done and as soon as she turned off that light I shouted “boo” and she jumped right out of her skin. I couldn’t help myself! Everybody loves scaring the shit out of me, thought it would be some good revenge! However my ass is screwed for later! Oh well! Anyways, I scooted into the living room and got my kisses from ChiChi and I went into the kitchen, all of the babies were laying by the door. My mom opened up the door and let me scoot outside, the cats didn’t know what to do with somebody already down at their level. I had Tubby, Felix and Stormy–all my babies–around me purring and growling at one another! All I kept thinking was, “please don’t jump on me to attack him!” After probably 20-25 minutes I went back inside because I kept getting bit by mosquitoes and they were bored/scared of me.

The real reason why I was on the floor, surprisingly wasn’t cat related and no, I’m not lying! Last week I had a mini breakdown. It’s August and through the beginning of October I am usually very aware of my emotions. I get so scared I’ll crawl back into my depression and I’ll never want to come out again. Leave it to me to have a breakdown just before my mom was to go to bed because she had to go to work that morning. I say I had a “mini” breakdown but it might’ve seemed like a big one to my mom since she hasn’t seen me like that for a while! I have a lot of frustrations and nobody knows how to help and I just feel like it’s no use to say something. I just keep my mouth shut and then this happens… it sucks because I honestly hate making people feel like crap but I also feel like they give me a lot of excuses nowadays and I don’t want to hear those types of things. I believe actions speak louder than words and I want something that’s going to motivate me and make me feel better about how my life is going! I don’t like hearing the same things over and over again.

One of the things my mom suggested I get back into doing was something that I loved to do when I was little. When my nana worked out in her garden – my dad too! They would always need mulch or what we used, tore up newspapers. It was something that my sister and I used to do a lot to help out! Apparently I was the only one who seemed to really enjoy it because even when it was autumn/winter I would still do it! I remember it being a good therapeutic way to get my aggressions out. So after being out with the babies, I asked my mom had any used newspapers. I went back in my room and she laid out two small stacks of them. I shut the door and put on Butcher Babies and all my problems were gone! Well, almost! Once I get the rest shredded they will be. 😉

I hope everybody has been enjoying their weekend!

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