Catherine Vs. Jane: The Devoted Wives

Hello!

I love how I feel like I’m done with these versus posts until I think of another batch of people to compare their stories to a newer audience. This is one of two others I want to write sometime before the end of the year.  And after this post, we actually work our way out of talking about the Tudors! So if you’re annoyed over the fact that’s been my topic of choice, hopefully you’ll like those! Until then, we are going to discuss about Katherine of Aragon and Jane Seymour, King Henry VIII’s first and third wives and queens of England respectively.

I know a lot of people are freaking out that I put “Catherine” in the banner, but yet I’m still spelling it with a “K” in this post. Since Henry married three women with the same name, some people recognize her name with a “C” but since I was introduced to her as “Katherine” it’s just what I go for first, so there’s your answer to the mystery. I’m sorry if all I’ve done is confused you.

There’s a lot of speculation whether or not you can fall in love with your arranged spouse. You can find it throughout history of children being married off for different reasons, one being money. If you came from a wealthy family, there were times that the fathers or in some cases mothers would arrange a marriage with one of their daughters to be married off into another family, because they needed the dowry. This goes with Katherine of Aragon, as she was a Spanish princess, she was given to Arthur Tudor, Prince of Wales. They married but instead of her returning back to Spain when he died, she stayed because Henry VII needed her dowry, so after the death of the king, she married Henry, who was now the next in line to the throne.

We’ve heard stories of Henry’s hatred for Katherine once he fell in love with Anne, but I think they actually loved each other. I mean, he would have had to love her to make her regent when he went to France in 1512 to fight in the war. A year after they had married, the wedded bliss would start to fade as they lost their first child – a daughter in 1509. Soon afterwards she became pregnant again, this time giving birth to a baby boy that they named Henry, Duke of Cornwall, but unfortunately, the little prince would die just fifty two days after his birth. I can’t imagine losing a child, especially if one was a needed heir for the Tudor dynasty and help to save the marriage to these two people.

Let’s fast forward to when Henry married Jane Seymour.

After the the marriage and beheading to Anne Boleyn was done, Henry quickly married Jane. She was a maid of honour for both Katherine and Anne. Jane’s father was Sir John Seymour and he was a courtier to Henry VIII and majority of his children also became courtiers besides Jane. One of the differences between Henry’s previous wives, was the fact that she wasn’t as educated as they were, but she was good at needlework and keeping a household, which at the time was more of a custom to women.

The other thing that made her different from both Katherine and Anne was her promise to Henry, she actually gave him a son. Their only child together would be Edward VI. After he was born, she was really sick with some type of infection and after reading about how people took care of themselves back then, I’m surprised this didn’t happen more often! After her son’s christening, she died and left Henry a broken man despite she did what nobody else could have give him.

Henry is buried next to Jane at Westminster Abbey. I do think that before his death, she was his only love despite being married to five other women and slept around with some of the ladies in waiting that probably took care of Jane as she was labor with their child and watched her die.  Whether it was only because she was the one to give him a son or the fact that he truly loved her, we’ll never know but I find this decision very interesting. I think once Jane died, I think he was fine without marrying anyone again as there is a pretty big gap between Jane and Anne of Cleves, there’s five years in between these two women. If he wasn’t so paranoid about having a spare like he was after the death of his older brother Prince Arthur, then I think he would never had continued to search for a new wife.

I think every woman that Henry came into contact with, while or after he was married, wanted to please him. Honestly, if you’re in a room with a very high up person like an official or royal, you’ll try your best not to step on their toes. I think all of his wives wanted to be there for him in some way. However, I often wonder, like probably everybody that is obsessed with this time period, is if Jane had lived would Henry still have the same feelings for her as he did after she gave birth to Edward?

Do you believe that King Henry VIII ever loved any of his wives?

If Henry, Duke of Cornwall or any of their other male children had lived, do you think Henry would have asked for a divorce from Katherine? And if Jane had lived, do you think Henry would have loved her just as much?

 

A Love Like Gomez and Morticia Addams

Howdy!

There is something great about the Addams Family. What it be the trouble making kids, the tall Frankenstein-like butler, the hairy grandmother, or wacko Uncle Finster. Whatever character you fell in love with from the TV shows or films, the family itself is unique.

Every time I watch the movies, my focus is on how much Gomez loves his wife Morticia.

In this day and age, there are women who don’t want to depend on a man to love and spoil them, but I’m not that kind of woman. As much as I love my independence, I would love to be cherished as much as Gomez does to Mortica. He worships her to the core. Every part of her is beautiful and he’ll defend her until the day he dies. I don’t see why that is such a bad thing to be wanted like that by somebody whether you’re straight, bi, gay, or transgender. I often think about my own love life–which is nonsexist at the moment! I’m not complaining nor am I looking either, I just wonder if anybody would treat me like this.

As most girls idolized Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams. I thought Anjelica Huston was the goddess, as anybody would! She was the monarch of the family, while her husband was a total nut. I saw the chemistry between Anjelica and Raul Julia. It was perfect! Believable.

I would be a modern Morticia, in how much black clothing I have in my closet. I can survive on everything band tees and skulls! I love gothic things, such as houses, jewelry, etc. I love red roses though, I could never cut them from their thorns and roots.

Is there a character or fictional couple that you are in love with? I’ve told you mine, now it’s your turn! 

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Being Single Isn’t So Bad

Howdy!

This is going to be a strange post coming from me, but I still want to write it. I saw this the other day while scrolling through my Facebook and I thought it was funny and sounded like my sense of humor about being single for so damn long! As I was thinking about how I used to ignore almost every chain letter that popped into my inbox of my phone, I started to think about how much I don’t care about being single anymore. Like seriously! I’ve been thinking about how my life has been going lately, although there a few things that need to be changed around, getting married and having kids in my early 20’s isn’t a necessity like I wanted it to be a few years ago. To me, this is a HUGE turnaround since I’ve been wanting these things since I was about fourteen years old!

I was trying to figure out what changed my mind. What is there now that wasn’t there before? So I started thinking about my priorities and I’ve been noticing how much I’ve been really enjoying my life as a blogger now. I have tons of ideas in my head of what I want to do in the near future, like becoming a YouTuber and working with brands and to me having these projects if I had kids would hold me back from doing them. I’ve been watching the SacconeJolys for the last few months and I’ve been asking myself would I be able to blog, do a video, and be a mother all the while with a disability on top of that? I know it’s not impossible, but I feel like I’d still want to blog and/or make a video to make sure people still know I’m still out here. I watch Anna’s videos and I know they have a nanny, but I can’ let somebody take care of my kids while I write a post or record a haul of sorts. I’m NOT condemning them, I mean that’s what works for them! It’s just there are certain things that I’m not willing to give up to do the other.

My friend and I were having a similar conversation the other day. She is a couple of years younger than I am, but she has a three year old daughter. She recently got out of a relationship with her boyfriend like four months ago. She was having a bad day and was confused about to do about him. She isn’t sure if she wanted to be with him or leave that chapter alone. I was really honest with her, I think she should be single for a while. She can focus on her schooling because she goes to college and takes care of her daughter, there’s nothing there to redirect her attention elsewhere. I felt she needs to be thinking more about these two for the time being than getting into another relationship that may or may not work out this time. She also has issues with her parents liking him too, her dad doesn’t want her to do anything with him or she’s out, so I said that if her father was serious about that then she’d have to move out of her family home, find another place to rent, get a job and I think she’d have too many things taking her interest away from wanting to go to school and she’d give it up.

Being single isn’t so bad. I don’t understand why I was so bent out of shape in high school. It might have something to do with the fact that all of my friends had boyfriends and I didn’t. Majority of all my friends are engaged, married, and/or have kids. Surprisingly I’m not jealous about it anymore. I still love being around babies, toddlers and older kids but I never thought I’d be happy they’re not mine! What’s also interesting to me that my views on marriage in general have changed too. I don’t want to get married, I don’t see the point of having somebody give you a ring and only having a certificate as the way to know you’re really committed to one another. If you’ve been dating for YEARS and have kids, why ruin things just because it’s tradition? I mean, you’ve already fucked up when you had kids and now you want to put a ring on it? It just seems silly to me!

I’m single but not ready to mingle or have any mini mes yet!

Being The Older Sister.

Being handicapped and an older sister is a tricky thing.

When I was about 10 years old, I spent the whole weekend with my cousin Morgan with our grandma (dad’s mom) and on the last day we went to her house and I got to spend time with both her and little brother Nicholas. They are roughly the same age as my sister and I, but I’m one year older than Morgan. They terrorized each other. I had seen this before with my other cousins Kristi and her older brother Chris. It wasn’t anything new, but up until this point my sister and I had a good relationship, and then I came home after that visit acting like a little bitch. I remember that evening so well that it hurts now. I came home and was told that I had a surprise. Apparently Blondie and my mom fixed up my side of the room that we shared. I came home not liking any part of it. After that, I had to sleep in my own room because of my attitude of what happened that day! However, I think after all of those years of sharing a room together, ten was the right age to finally sleep in my own room. So in a way, spending the day with my cousins was a good/bad idea at that time!

Our bickering days came to a halt whenever she entered high school. I was actually excited to have my little sister in the same part of the school as me. I could see her now! The first semester of her freshman year I am still surprised she didn’t want to kill me whenever I came over to her lunch table. I was friends with most of the kids in her class, anybody that came over for her birthdays or slept over on the weekends knew about me and my disability. From what I could tell, the ones that came over were never bothered by it so that was good! I know at times I probably embarrassed her, but that was the only part of being an older sister I had left to enjoy was to taunt the crap out of her. When she started dating, everything got a little weird. She got her first real boyfriend during the end of summer of 2009. Trevor was probably my favorite out of the bunch. The only one I didn’t want to run over after things went sour with one another. Speaking of running over, I did make a small “promise” to one that if he ever hurt her (I knew of his history), that I would run over his feet. When he cheated on her, I went to the football game and I ran over his feet. That’s also when I realized that running over people’s feet isn’t as threatening as it used to be when I was as a kid!

Early 2011 came and she met this one, we thought it was only going to be a crush because he was only staying for a short time. He mostly lived in Italy where his dad was stationed, but he was from our hometown.. Everybody liked him but only a couple of people, including me. I thought it was cute the first time she showed me his picture, she definitely liked him it was THAT clear! When he moved back to Italy after they decided to get serious, things started to decline for them. He cheated on her twice, even though he came out and told her about it, it still hurt her deeply and we didn’t know how bad until a couple of years later. After that, entered the two “bad boys”. All three had their own bad tendencies with lasting effects too. Now we are in 2015 and she’s with Brandon aka “Batman” and she met him on her first night at college. We first met him on my birthday celebration last year. It was pretty awkward because we had only seen pictures and were told stories about this boy and that was it. My sister has quite a lot of baggage and he seems to accept her just the way she is. So that’s good enough for us.

Why am I giving you a look into my sister’s personal life?

Because I wanted you to see of how much I pay attention. I’ve seen hurt on my sister’s face too many times, but also saw joy just as much. It’s very awkward to be an older sister and have a disability, but it’s even more complicated to be single while being around these times. I was only in two small “relationships” and none of them lasted longer than a few months. I’ve become bitter from not being in a real relationship like my sister, but in a way watching her with the past and present boyfriend(s) has been a blessing in disguise. I’ve learned a lot about love. What it means to be in a relationship with someone and what’s truly acceptable and what isn’t. I think I’ve figured out what I wanted in a relationship if it ever happened one day.

During the last week of May, Batman moved into our house. It was an idea that came from my dad after he heard of their plans of moving up north and into an apartment. My parents weren’t having that, so this happened instead. They each have jobs down here and he seems to get along with everybody, even our dog ChiChi. Having another guy living in our house is a little weird for me, because I don’t exactly trust a lot of people, especially males and after Blondie’s situation that happened two years ago, it’s still pretty fresh in not only my mind but everybody else’s too. So I’ve been a bit wary of him still, even though I’m learning to accept him at MY pace. They’ve been expressing their thoughts of marriage and having children in the future and its brought a new light for my sister, because before she didn’t want to get married or have kids. So this was new but yet great for me! I want to be an aunt again!

See now there’s the thought of the future again.

If I don’t get married and have kids of my own, where will I go once my parents pass and/or can’t take care of me anymore? It’s a thought that’s on everybody’s mind. My mom and I have discussed it many times in the last three years. It’s nice to be able to talk about the worries of the future but as far as discussing the possibilities with all four of us together. It would be a bad idea! My dad would love nothing more but avoid the topic altogether and my sister, well she didn’t like the fact when I told her that I didn’t want her to be the one that takes care of me. A person outside of it all would wonder why I wouldn’t want my own sister to take care of me than rather worry about a nurse that would abuse me in a group home or something like that? To me, it’s a personal choice that I think is mine alone to make and I want my sister and her future husband (whether it’s Batman or not) to have a normal life that doesn’t involve wondering about what I need on a daily basis. If she’s anything like our dad, she’ll always be like that! She deserves her own life away from me. I don’t want any resentment there between us or she and her future husband. Hopefully one day things will be resolved and we’ll figure out what we really will do when the time is right, but I still stand by what I said two years ago and I think I always will.

Drifted – Part 14

Another night came and went. Brenda was feeling more lonely than she ever wanted to in her life. She cried for herself and her daughters. How could life be so damn cruel? It wasn’t something she looked forward to on a daily basis. Getting up in the middle of the night to flip over her pillow and toss John’s pillows onto the floor. She’ll regret it in the morning when she goes to make the bed. She’ll put the pillows back in their place as she never threw them off in an act of frustration. A little before 7:30 in the morning, her alarm awakes her from the short nap she gets every night now. She hits the shower to wash away her never-ending tears that flew out of her eyes at anytime. After she got dressed in something casual, she made her way into the kitchen and every memory of she and John helping each other make breakfast for the girls came back. She pushed back her tears again for the hundredth time. She got everything ready for her coffee pot. She turned around and looked at the small table and Ivy’s high chair. It looked quite the cute little kitchen for five women living in one house. No man to help them out, even though John hardly ever did that so this was nothing new to Brenda, but yet the sleeping alone part was the part she never went through. John might’ve cheated on Brenda, but he always came home to her. That should count for something. That’s at least what her heart kept telling her.

After making sure everything was ready, she checked the clock one last time, before heading into the three oldest girls room: Ava and Tatum share a bunk bed, while little Gracie baby has her own bed. She is just a four-year old, but she has had some delaying issues with her speech and body. She can easily fall out of a big girl bed. Before they found out she had Autism, they did get her a big girl bed, but it was short-lived since the sidebars were too little for her and when she’d roll in the bed at night she’d fall right off and Brenda or Claire would find her asleep on the floor just laid out and looked pretty comfortable actually. So after four accidents, they decided to get her a crib and that way they knew she wouldn’t get out so easily, because that was the other thing. If she wasn’t sleepy, the little child would run out of the bed and somebody would have to chase after her. She might not be able to get her words figured out, but she’s got the giggles down pat and knows what to do when there are people after you. Brenda stared her sleeping girls and wondered what they were dreaming about and it was difficult for her to wake them up from a dream where they were princesses and had a better life than where they had both of their parents around and felt like they loved them unconditionally. They do in reality, but it didn’t mean much after being around one parent for a little while.

After staying at home yesterday, and for waking up late, Brenda struggled to get her girls up and ready for school. While Ava and Tatum went to regular elementary school, Grace had to go to a special school for half a day and work on her speech and learn different things that she should already know by now. “Okay, you ladies look lovely, all right so we’re running a little bit late, so take each other’s hand and walk into the living room. Don’t go on the couch, but line up by it. I have to get Miss Ivy ready too.” Brenda said, she was out of breath after helping putting on clothes and brushing three sets of teeth. Now she had to get the baby going so they could leave before she decided to keep them all home. Ivy was already awaken and was in the mood to play peek-a-boo through the bars in her crib. When Brenda got up closer, she leaned over to play a little with her tiny daughter. Brenda always wanted to be a mother. She was always around kids growing up, she loved the challenge of kids. Even though she imagined having all boys and maybe a girl, but having all girls made her happy too. She remembered the laughs and fights between her and sisters better than anyone. She knew that if anything happened later in their lives, they would be there for each other like their mother and their aunts were there for each other. After a couple more rounds of peek-a-boo it was time to get Ivy ready. Brenda grabbed a pink and white onesie that had said, “Daddy’s Littlest Girl” and she hadn’t even noticed what she grabbed at first until she pulled it over her head. She wanted to burst into tears again, but Ivy was the perfect distraction.

By the time Brenda got Ivy’s little booties on, something got their attention. There was lots of different noises going on from the living room. Usually Ava and Tatum have to argue about who had the prettier coat and better shoes, even though they both have the same jackets and shoes, just in different colors to keep them separate. John thought that would be better; hell that’s what their in-laws thought as well, but nobody gets to get them ready in the mornings like Brenda and hears the constant fighting between them. Surprisingly, it didn’t sound like they were fighting at all. They sound happy, which is very weird unless one of them has decided that mommy was taking too long and they turned on the TV in the living room, but as Brenda carried Ivy on her hip, she didn’t hear the TV on, but a man’s voice. A familiar voice that she was thankful for, but was also concerned because she hadn’t heard a knock on the door either. She walked further down the hallway and made her way into the living room to find John had let himself into the house and brought the girls breakfast. She was stunned to see him there, as he has never done this before. Why the change in heart? Then everything made sense after seeing the smiles on the girls faces. Pure joy, and even Ivy got on the action too.

“What are you doing here? We have to leave.” Brenda says to John as she still has Ivy in her arms, but Ivy has a hold of her daddy’s hand. “I know, but I missed my girls. And I knew they would probably be hungry anyway. So I brought them something to eat.” John said as he looked right at the smiling baby on the left. “Oh, look what mommy put you in! Daddy’s favorite shirt.” John said in his sweet voice. That voice that Brenda missed in the middle of the night. She did not want to miss this man after hearing about him cheating on her for some time now. If things were to get any better, it would take time. She knew things wouldn’t get better after a few days, even her heart knew that, but she couldn’t exactly keep him away from the girls. That wouldn’t be right for them as they are too young to understand what is going on with their mommy and daddy. So she kept a fake smile upon her face to insure that her daughters knew that things would get better. John exchanged a smile to Brenda but knew better than to believe she was really happy he was there. He was making her and the girls even later than before. It was 8:25am, if she didn’t leave now than she’d never get him to leave. “Well I’m sorry to cut this short, but we really have to go. Tell daddy “thank you for the breakfast” and let’s get to school!” Brenda said in a cheerful tone as she watched Ava and Tatum say their “thank you’s” and kiss John on the cheek. Gracie had to be a little more complicated but John helped her off her chair and walked her out to the car. He buckled the girls inside and watched Brenda as she put Ivy in her car seat. He kissed her on the forehead and was about to kiss Brenda before she stepped back. She wasn’t ready to take him back yet, and as much as she loved his sweet side, she knew better.

When she stepped back, John steeped in one last time and smiled at his four girls, before he hadn’t thought about the consequences of his actions. What if he couldn’t get Brenda to forgive him? He knew they were going to need help, if they both wanted to make this work for their daughters. “Hey, I think we should go to couples therapy?” John said in a whisper after he shut the door shut of Brenda car. He continued to look into Brenda’s eyes, but she looked so distanced. They didn’t have a future in her eyes anymore and it was all his fault. Brenda opened her driver’s seat door and looked at him once more before getting inside the car. “I don’t know John. Do you really think that would help us? Keep you from cheating on me with anything that has long eyes.” Brenda said in a stirn voice and then they both heard somebody say in the backseat say, “Daddy likes daddy-long-legs?! There’s one up on the ceiling in our room. Daddy can you kill it?” Ava said from her seat way in the back of the van. John couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit. Leave it to a little kid to lighten up the mood, especially when it was on this kind of mood. Not so pleasant for everybody. “I might, if I can find it, okay?” John said as moved his head over by Brenda’s chair. She was unmoved by what the bonding moment between them. “Just think about it.” John said as he looked at his wife again. “All right, I will.” Brenda said before she sat down in her seat and pulled the seat buckle to her side to strap herself in. “Drive safely dear. Bye girls!” John said as his goodbye to them and then shut Brenda’s door. He backed up a couple of feet before she drove off.

Now they were extremely late. Luckily, all of the girls teachers understood that she was now on her own as she emailed that there might be a slight change on the time she and the girls would get there. It was almost nine o’clock. She probably would have made it if John hadn’t showed up and brought breakfast for the girls. She was pretty sure that the girls still had sugar on their fingers from the small bites of donuts he gave them. She felt bad for their teachers. She pulled out of their little community and onto the main highway. She remembered the first time, she and John found their place. John just became head of the business and Brenda sadly had to quit because John couldn’t keep his hands off of her. After the birth of Ava, she went back to work and Chloe would come over and baby sit her brand new niece. When Tatum was born, Chloe and their mother Sandra would come over and help out whenever they could, but after Brenda had Grace and his delayed speech and movements. Brenda thought it would just be better if she worked from home, which led to her getting almost fired the first time around after Tatum going on mommy’s laptop and sending an email to her boss that didn’t make sense and when her boss found it, he thought she was drunk. Once she found out she was pregnant with Ivy, there was basically nothing keeping her there. She wasn’t really happy there anyways. Since John took her job, things were heading south. She started putting theories together to when maybe John started cheating on her. That timeline would have fit perfectly. Almost too perfect though!

While she thought the past, she wasn’t really focuses on her surroundings. As both Tatum, Grace, and Ivy were bundled up in their heavy jackets in the backseat. Little Ava was old enough now where she was allowed to sit up in the passenger seat; even though she chose to ignore the right height for her child to seat in the front seat. Brenda had a small car. She thought after her third kid, she would get a mini van, but the girls were still small enough to fit nicely, except for Ava. She was only seven years old, but was taller than the girls in her  class. She sat up in her seat, listening to the radio, and looking out her window. Ivy sat in her car seat cooing at her older sisters sitting next to her. Everything inside the car screaming calm and controlled, but inside Brenda’s mind was restless chaos from every way she turned. They were almost up to the school. Brenda watched the sides of the roads to see if anybody was going to be turning to the left anytime soon. There was a car headed for that way but it was going too slow she thought and she pulled out in front of it. She thought she was in the clear until the car sped up just after she pulled out and hit the right side of her car very hard. Brenda’s eyes were wide as she watched the front end of this red car run right into Ava and Gracie’s doors. The crash shook the car with such force that the glass in the windows busted and the car skited on its side before the other driver finally stopped. Everything was a blur in Brenda’s eyes, but her hearing hadn’t gone out as she could hear Tatum and Ivy screaming and crying from the backseat. Brenda lifted her up and looked at Ava, she looked to her in a glaze but could still speak. Brenda unhooked her seatbelt and checked on the other girls. Tatum and Ivy had some glass on their heads, but were fine. It was Gracie that wasn’t okay at all.