Erasing The Iris.

I’m on my third drawing and I’m feeling like it could be my last. I’m not even kidding. I’m just starting on it and I think I was getting too cocky yesterday. The entire head and nose were the only things that are starting to take shape and hopefully I don’t have to erase any part of the nose because I know if I do, I’m not going to be able to make it as good as when I first started. I’m actually kind of happy about his skull and the size of it, even though I think his mouth is really going to be the hardest part to figure out. I am at my third picture and my past two pictures only had the right eye in the drawings, this one has both and I can’t take one out because the dude has a mohawk. That would probably be the easiest part to draw and it isn’t in the picture I have.

I’m really worried about his eyes. I have to draw both eyes on him. I’ve attempted to about put both of them on four or five times. I was just starting it and thought to myself, “how in the world did I do that?” I got the nose and the outline of the eyes on the face. Then once I started shading the iris and everything that’s when it all went downhill. I even took a picture and send it to Facebook and I had erased that draft as well. I realized by the third round that I was too low from the boxes on my graphic that helps me figure out where everything is on each picture. I erased for the last time yesterday and raised them up and hoped for the best. The iris looks like crap and the shading of the eyes is going to be tricky.

My Love/Hate Relationship With Art

In grade school my favorite class wasn’t lunch or recess, instead it was Art. My friend Ashlyn gave me a suggestion on my Twitter earlier. She gets very creative with these ideas, they’re definitely making me think. Today she told me to talk about my favorite thing to do as a kid and now and then compare each of them. Art, either it was drawing or painting I always loved it. Not necessary doing it myself, but I loved everybody’s else pictures. When I was in school besides writing, drawing was my second gift God blessed me with. Everybody was always amazed with me whenever I’d do both, but drawing was everybody’s favorite I think. My Art teacher in Elementary was Mrs. Hays. She was my favorite teacher out of like seven teachers I had. She always encouraged me on my artwork. She made me feel better after everybody watching me all the time while we worked on our projects.

When I got into middle school, we got into the 3-D type of projects. I noticed after my first attempt of making a cat in clay and it ended up looking like the Great Sphinx of Giza in Egypt. Except mine wasn’t suppose to end up like that and ironically enough the nose actually fell off when our teacher Mr. Ross welded them. We still have it somewhere, I actually hate it but everybody seems to still love it. It made realize that the 3-D projects were not for me. And I didn’t just do that one to make me realize it either. I made a box and cup and both of those were made by my aide. During my Junior year, I tried painting after five years of not painting at all. I did the ingredients of Salsa. We finally have those up after three years. I didn’t think I did well with those either so I never continued with painting.

Drawing, doodling for me is fun. It’s always been interesting what I’ll find and want to draw. When Senior year came I didn’t have art until second semester and I was worried that I’d never be able to have it then either with my ISTEP classes I had to have and others as well. When second semester came, I had ideas of what I wanted to draw and already had the pictures picked out. I was prepared. The only thing I was worried about was my teacher’s approval of the pictures. I had six guys I wanted to draw and only one picture out of the six was the original picture I picked out at first. Everybody’s would go back and forth. I got six portraits done in four months. Three of them were started a day after the other. My fourth was my shortest time, I did that one for three days. The longest amount of time was my last portrait and it took me two weeks. After I finished those drawings, I could have just stopped right there, but we had to have 9 to 11 projects.

Now I know you’re thinking, I only did six drawings, but however I did put two medias in one drawing. So it shortened my projects down a bit. When May came, my teacher didn’t want me to not do anything in his class so I had to find something else to draw. So I started searching for my best and favorite feature on a person: Eyes. I love eyes! With or without make up. I found hundreds of pictures but chose this picture of baby blue eyes. I already went into about this drawing a month ago, so I’m not going to talk about it again. After graduation, I vowed I was done was art. After years of people watching me and admiring my artwork I just stopped. I didn’t see the point of going on. The reason why is because when I was in class, even though everybody was admiring my artwork I was admiring their’s. I loved watching everybody else draw. It was more like envy, because they hated everytime I’d watch them. Thankfully, they never said anything about it, but I know the feeling of being watched and it sucks. Especially when you’re doing average things like writing and drawing.

So going back to Ashlyn’s topic. I have not gotten back into drawing. After two years, I’d like to start drawing again but I liked the fact that when I was in the class I had the teacher there to watch me and help me if I needed it. Which was often. I don’t think I can do it now. I already have pictures lined up in my head of who I want to draw. Everytime I look at different photography of people, I think “oh, that would be cool as a drawing.” Since I have a history of drawing celebrities like, my first was Justin Timberlake (Junior year) and Linkin Park (Senior year) they’re the first thing I want to do. I’ve been thinking of trying to go small, but that never happens in my case. There is one picture I’d just like to try to it’s a picture of James Michael. The lead singer of Sixx:A.M. I saw this picture and I literally went “I want to draw this” and then I start to get worried. Because all my doubts start flooding me and making me think twice about doing it on my own. This is what the picture looks like, it looks too detailed for me and my other drawings didn’t have that much detailed on them. See, all my doubts are coming in and making me think twice about it.

Up Close & Personal

I have problems with beauty, we all do. I can’t get over pretty girls. Every girl is pretty in my eyes. Speaking of eyes, that’s how I look at them. It’s not about their bodies, it’s about their personality and their eyes. Your eyes will always be your best feature even if you want change something about yourself you can never change your eyes. Even a blind person’s eyes are beautiful. You know why, because it makes them as unique as the next person. However this isn’t why I uploaded this picture in the first place.

I think everytime I go on Tumblr, I see all these different pictures. Some I love and some that worry me. I think I’m starting to appreciate photographers and what they do. Normal teenagers take pictures of themselves up against their bathroom mirrors and posse, tilting their head slightly, and having one arm either on their hip or at their face. Trust me, my sister does these a lot for me to know. A picture like this, or any others I reblog on a daily basis has to be either in a lively (meaning not scripted pose) and just not stiff. Another one I love is close up.

Just like this picture. It’s up to her face. Nothing else. I love how sometimes I’ll find girls have made up half their faces and leave the other side without any make up at all. My sister takes probably close to thirty minutes to an hour to get every inch of her make up on. It’s unhealthy to me. It might also be because I don’t like makeup. I don’t like it all. I do like nail polish, but eye shadow, mascara, and blush is just pointless to me.

That One Eye.

I’m in love with eyes. I could never have this much eye makeup on ever. To be quite honest with you I don’t even like makeup that well. I liked it on other people, but not myself. I always have a problem with people getting too close to my eyes. Going to the eye doctor isn’t much fun for me. It never has been. When I was little, I had an allergic reaction to some type of eyedrops and I think after that I never liked eyedrops.

When commercials would come on about different eye makeup and if they’re advertising anything in purple I will instantly want it, and I’ve had eye shadow on before and I’ve had Mascara on too. Eye liner is not my friend. Knowing a pencil is coming at my eyes freaks me out. I’m always afriad somebody’s going to poke my eye and I’ll be blind forever.

I have a lazy eye, it’s not as bad as it use to be. Crazy thing is we found out about it around the same time I had that allergic reaction. If you don’t know what a lazy eye means, it just really is an eye pupil that can’t stay straight ahead and goes over the side. I have to focus it really good to make it striaght. I also can’t see that good unless it’s in big words. My right eye is mainly the more domaint and normally I have to wear glasses but after several years I stopped wearing them. I’ve never liked them and I probably never will.

Masquerade

I like to have some fun. Who doesn’t? I’ve always wanted to have a masquerade party, I’ve always loved the masks. Even though I hate almost every mask out there. Well any that looks scary. To me, every mask is like a clown. Although you’re not really wearing as much makeup as a clown while wearing a masquerade mask. These kind of masks are different than any other masks.

They are regal. Elegant. Classical. Somewhat mysterious too, depending on how you carry yourself while wearing a mask like this. It’s kind of a like an another story of Cinderella. She was a servent to her stepmother and went to a ball when she was not allowed to and her fairly godmother dressed her up and so ono and so on. I don’t need to go on when we should all know the story. These masks are like our own fairly godmothers helping us out.

These masks can make us forgot about our problems for just a moment. It takes everything away that can make us feel ugly inside. Our eyes are our best feature we have on our faces. No matter what others say. Every eye is different. In shape or color. Be thankful for the ones who can open their eyes and see out of them. Some of us don’t have that choice.

I wish everybody voted for the masquerade theme for prom during my Junior year but no it had to be “Welcome To The Jungle” which wasn’t bad, but not what I picked. I wanted to be regal. Elegent. Classical. Somewhat mysterious just for one night. However you can’t be too different when you are in a wheelchair, but at least I’d feel beautiful for once or twice.