Photo Diary | Feeling Like Spring

Hello!

For the past few weeks, I have felt like I’m in a daze. I don’t want to do absolutely anything, and it has been very annoying! However, nothing really compares to the trouble we’ve had with out internet services. I think a big chunk of why I feel so out of it is because our WiFi will stay on for like a minimum 10 minutes each time someone goes to turn it back on; on the good days, it will be really good but those days are very rare anymore.

Thankfully, I have some things to help distract myself from it, like getting into a new TV show. I am happy to share that I am finally done with Rizzoli & Isles! As I was watching the finale though, I cried like a baby! It was like watching the episode “500 Years of Solitude” of The Vampire Diaries, where all of our favorite characters who had died came back, I was a fucking mess! On the good note though, I have been getting into the show Bones now. It has the same dynamic duo but with David Boreanaz as the officer and Emily Deschanel (plus her band of assistants) as Maura Isles! So, the teamwork and crazy banter is still there and at the moment, I am enjoying it!

What surprised me though, that while I am in this fog, I was able to do something I hadn’t done since the start of winter. I was allowed to go outside.

Despite the fact that I love the changing landscape and seeing all of the birds fight for food on my bird feeder, I really miss being outside.

I hate being away from my cats, and it doesn’t really help now that like four of them are not living at my sister’s house! Bear-Bear and Oscar have officially moved on and it really sucks because they are my social kitties, they tend to want to spend time with me the most and since they would rather stay on the block, I’ve been somewhat sad, but I have Grumpy and I think he is perfectly fine with this change because now he doesn’t have to wait in line to be the center of attention to us. We still have Stormy, Nelson, Midge, and Felix too, so it’s not too terrible, although my dad kind of wishes they would all move out but I think he would be sad for me because that’s my connection to the outdoors for now.

We were able to experience some early spring in March. It isn’t too uncommon to have a few good weather days around this time, but it is important to remind yourself that we could still have another big snow coming until the middle of April. So, when we had three days of beautiful weather, my mom put me in my wheelchair and I sat out on the deck for a little while.

For the first two days, I would bring my camera out with me, but I wouldn’t turn it on. It wasn’t because of the lack of cats coming to see me, I just wanted to enjoy being in the moment with them. I needed a change of scenery and being among the cats, trees and noisy birds was a big comfort to me in those early days. The temperature would seesaw between a good 64 degrees to a chilly 57 degrees and I would only allow myself to stay out for like twenty minutes because I felt like my toes were going to fall off because it was so damn cold!

Even though this is a photo diary, I like being able to just unleash whatever I have in my mind. I tried my best to lie and be all cheery but this is what I’m been dealing with, and I know it can stem from the fact it is five years since my papaw’s passing and I could have suppressed feelings about it. So, I feel somewhat better now that I have unleashed my thoughts before allowing you to see the pictures I took on my third day outside. If you are still reading this, thank you for listening and I hope you enjoy the beautiful photos of our cats.

Do you have any advice for me when it comes to being in a haze? What are your favorite things to do when the weather starts to warm up a bit?

REVIEW | Five Feet Apart

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I’m back!

On the day I finished this post, I’d been sick for at least a week and a half. It has been so frustrating to say the least, because at first we thought it was allergies and then three days later, I developed this awful cough and my mom had to get some medicine tablets because I refuse to drink the liquid stuff. Hopefully, this isn’t your only post of the week but let’s not push our luck!

I am very excited to finally chat with you about the film adaption of Rachael Lippincott’s novel Five Feet Apart. I mean, this was the main reason why I wanted to read the book in the first place. Before we continue, I have to say this post will probably have spoilers included, so if you haven’t read the book and want to, I highly suggest you skip this blog post for now.

The first thing–well, there were two actually–I had to tell myself. I literally had to give myself a little talk because I had read the book and I was still reeling from the fact that I cried many times and enjoyed certain scenes within the story. I knew it is going to be very sad and when I finally I made a deal to watch the whole thing before I judged everything that was presented on my TV screen.

What I Really Thought 

So, I absolutely loved the film! I was surprised by my reaction after I finished it because I didn’t think I would love it that much, but yes, I thought it was absolutely beautiful! It didn’t have every single thing, but it had enough that it followed the same timeline from the book, and that was it for me.

One thing that I totally forgot to put into my head while I was reading the book was that hospitals are busy places, as you see on film. However, while I was reading the book, the only professionals that turned up in my head were Barb, Julie and Dr. Hamid. That’s it. I don’t know why I just kept other nurses or random people from entering various scenes. I mentioned in my book review that I used the hospital I went to back in 2002, to draw some inspiration on how to map out this massive space, and the section I stayed had probably three or four nurses at their station. So, we were never without someone there besides our parents of course, so I don’t know how I managed to create a space with only three medical professionals!

Have you watched the film adaption “Five Feet Apart” yet? If you read the book beforehand, did you have any issues with it? Did you like it just the same? Tell me your thoughts about it below!

snowflake

The Best Movies Of 2019!

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Howdy!

For our last post of the week, I will be discussing my favorite movies of 2019!

Since I didn’t do my “Movies I Want To See” series last year, I wasn’t really keeping up with the newer movies but I was okay with it. What I did instead was I basically made a vow to make time in my day (or night) to watch something in my DVR folder or on Netflix. This was probably the smartest thing I did, because I ended up checking out a lot of films in the meantime. I even tried to make this post a little easier because I used Pinterest to keep track of everything I watched throughout the year.

The Hours (2002)

I think this was the most important film I watched at the beginning of the year. It was a story about three women in their different time periods, but it circled around their lives at the time they are reading Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. So, you have Nicole Kidman starring as Virginia Woolf. The time is 1923, and she is in the process of writing the book but you learn that she has had series of breakdowns and attempted suicide in the past. The next character is Laura, played by Julianne Moore and the year is 1965. She is a mother, who is very unhappy. And finally, there’s Meryl Steep, who is Clarissa and we are back in the present which is 2001. She is a bisexual woman, who tries to keep an eye on her former partner Richard and meets his mother after his death by suicide.

It was a heartbreaking movie that I both loved and hated, because at the time I watched it, I was very depressed and since I have had contemplated suicide in the past, it hit me deeply. After I finished it, I literally got out my notebook and wrote in it about how I was feeling and mostly I was full of anger on my situation in life. I cried and cried, but I let myself cry it out and I’m glad I did that because once I was done, I suddenly felt better about everything. I was no longer sad about my life. If anything, it helped me move on. I don’t know if I kept that entry or not, I think I got rid of it around October.

Descendants 3 (2019)

I was really surprised that not only did I watched this movie, but I loved it! A part of me was conflicted at first because I was watching it to honor Cameron Boyce and the other part I was curious to see what the song was during the promos! After the first song and dance routine was over, I instantly got comfortable on my bed and watched the whole thing in one sitting!

If you have not checked out the films, it is about the descendants of our beloved Disney characters, but there’s a catch as the good characters live in Auradon. They have their magical powers and basically live in a place of luxury, whereas the villains all live on a island that takes away their magical powers and isolates them away. At the time of this film, the original descendants of Maleficent, The Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Jabar, and Cruella Di Vill go back to the island and chose four kids to come to be educated and live with their mentors on Auradon.

I am a sucker when it comes to musicals. Disney musicals use to really get me when I was younger, but I kind of thought I was too old to enjoy them again. It was shocking how quick that thought flew away after I heard “Queen Of Mean” sung by Sleeping Beauty’s daughter Prince Aubrey (Sarah Jeffrey). I’m not going to even hide the fact that after I heard for the first time, I rewind the whole song over so I could learn the lyrics on my closed captions! I learned it within a day or so; the same thing happened with “Night Falls” too!

Chaplin (1992)

This one was probably the best I had seen in a long time! I am familiar with the story of actor Charlie Chaplin, but I was not expecting to enjoy seeing Robert Downey Jr. playing him. I was so worried that I would be picturing Tony Stark the whole time, but thankfully I didn’t. He completely took over the man and his iconic role as the “Tramp” to the point where you thought you were seeing the real Mr. Chaplin on your television screen!

The film is all about Charlie Chaplin’s life, starting while he is exiled in Switzerland after being accused of being a communist. He is met with his biographer to discuss what he wants to put in his book. So, we are taken through some things from his young life with his older half brother Sidney and their mother, who had psychotic breakdowns to what led him to create his own production studio and finally the point he meets his wife and love of his life: Oona O’Neil.

It was such a good film! I wasn’t able to watch it in one sitting like I wanted, but it never really left me, I was haunted by the previous scenes so I kept telling myself to go back and once it was over, I was really bummed but wanted to recommend it to anyone who would listen honestly!

For Sama (2019)

I don’t know what drew me to watch this documentary but I did, and I’m happy that happened because it was hauntingly beautiful!

PBS was airing this on “Frontline” one night and I just felt complied to check it out. It made my heart ache for everyone in Syria. It made me think of a friend I had that lived/lives there, and the reason why I said “lived” is because it’s been around four years since I have heard from her. She use to tweet about her father dying and she was having to move with her family, and it just didn’t seem real until I watched this and I began to think of her again and wonder where she was or did she make it out alive?

This film was recorded in a range of two or three years. The title “For Sama” is in dedication to the filmmaker’s daughter Sama, who was born at the height of the civil war in Syria. Sama’s mother is Waad Al-Kaeb, she married a doctor that treated people who were hurt prior and during the bombings in Aleppo. The whole film is in Arabic but English subtitles are provided at the bottom of the screen. You could hear and feel every emotion like pride for their home, worry that they wouldn’t make it, horror to seeing everyday people, children included with various injuries from the aftermath of the bombings and the love in the tone of her voice. It does get pretty graphic but it was real. When you hear about bombings on the news on TV, I feel like for most people (myself included) can switch off their minds to how a bomb that dropped to the ground, on top of homes, that the innocent escaped in time. You will see children die and be born within five minutes of each other.

Detroit (2017)

It was so surprising that it took me two years to finally watch this film. I remember the day I was going through the new movie trailers on YouTube and then coming across this one. I am a lover of real life situations being played out on film. I would rather spend the rest of my days watching them because then I would never forget about our history as human beings. Not everyone has the best intentions for others, much less themselves and I think it is the perfect way to describe the situation of this movie.

Detroit is a story of a time where there was a lot of violence towards the African-Americans and the police department of the 1960’s; there is injustice among the community and everything has hit a breaking point. You are introduced to a group of people who are staying at a hotel and somebody starts shooting at the police as a joke, and since tensions are already high and everybody feels threatened, things get very out of control and the consequences were awful. They could have been better, hell, even prevented as nobody should have been killed in a way these people were and then you realize that even though the times have changed, history has a way of repeating itself over and over again.

I am finally done with this post, but if you’d like to see what else I watched in 2019, you should go check out my Pinterest board. I hope you have enjoyed this post and have a great weekend!

snowflake

A-Z Disability Challenge | W : Wheelchairs

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It is extremely difficult for me to talk about wheelchairs. Last year, the big contervesory was about the death of Stephan Hawking was announced, an artist made this beautiful drawing of him coming out of his wheelchair and basically walking up to heaven. As a disabled woman, I was very conflicted with this, but it wasn’t for the picture per se. It was because I felt like I had to choose between what I’ve always been taught and agreeing with the rest of the disability community.

The big deal wasn’t necessarily about the drawing itself, it was more about how a disabled person relies on their wheelchair to do things, like simple tasks around the house and/or getting out and having drinks with friends. However, everything just exploded into this chaotic thing that I really did not want to be part of at that time. Honestly, I still didn’t want to talk about it again on here, but I am on the letter “W” and there wasn’t anything else I could talk about other than this.

So, I’ll just say that my wheelchair doesn’t give me freedom. There it’s out and I can separate myself from the crap I’ve been feeling all this time.

I do think it allows me to do tasks better but I still feel stuck whenever I am in it. I really feel I am limited in both varieties of wheelchairs, as I’m either too short or too bulky! I have yet to find the perfect fit. Maybe this is what regular woman deal with picking out new heels! The second point I would like to get across is, it’s also all about your state of mind. I think after so long, you adapt to every different setting, and wheelchairs are a part of this too. You might get to do new or lose some beloved challenges while figuring out your surroundings.

Again, I have conflicting feelings about my freedom. I know I can never get away from my limitations. I say this not a sad note though, I like being able to test them anyways. I think this is really healthy! My family might not always agree with that statement, but you know. Honestly I would lastly like to say, I will believe what I want to. I have been doing pretty good on several other subjects throughout the years, I can add this onto the never ending list too! Even if that means keeping it in for a year and a half until I can find a clean way to discuss it on here, that’s what I’ll do.

If you’re in a wheelchair, whether that is full or part time, what are your thoughts on your freedom to be able do all the things you want to do? 

snowflake

Movies I Want To See In 2018! | July-December

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Hello!

Well, I’m back for round two! If you have yet to read the first post, you can click here. I have got to find a better way to do this because between the fact that I am not exactly picky whenever I go through the list of movies or I chose to put every single trailer into this post, can be very stressful at times! However, with that being said, I still enjoy writing the posts every six months. It’s fun, but stressful too!

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation – Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez (July 13)

I was kind of conflicted whether or not I wanted to include this, because sadly I have yet to watch the second movie. I still want to see this, it looks like it’s going to be really funny from the trailer.

Shock and Awe – Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, James Marsden (July 13)

I’m still a bit confused about this one. It looks likes it’s full of politics and I’m a little unsure about that part, plus the fact that it reminds me of the movie The Post with Tom Hanks and Glenn Close, as it deals with journalism too. So we’ll see what happens!

Christopher Robin – Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Jim Cummings (Aug 3)

Everybody is excited for the live animated of Dumbo and The Lion King, but I am so pumped for this instead! I grew up on Winnie the Pooh and I hope to get my little nephew on the Pooh train too! I kind of like this outlook though, it still has that familiar adventure element but makes it appear fun to both kids and adults too.

The Darkest Minds – Amandla Stenberg, Mandy Moore, Patrick Gibson (Aug 3)

I don’t know why I exactly put this on here. I did watch the trailer and liked it, but a part of me is still unsure about it though. It does look cool and action worthy!

Mile 22 – Mark Wahlberg, John Malkovich, Lauren Cohan (Aug 3)

Speaking of action, from the moment this trailer started, I’m not going to lie, I was a little hooked! This just looks great, even if Mark Wahlberg is in it. I like him, but not as much as everybody else does.

Crazy Rich Asians – Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Gemma Chan (Aug 15)

This looks absolutely hilarious! I am happy to see a movie that is about Asians, and it doesn’t have any martial arts in it. They’re not stereotyping Asians in that area, instead this looks exciting in a different way. Apparently this is based off of a book with the same name, so I may check that out beforehand.

The Wife – Glenn Close, Jonathan Pryce, Christian Slater (Aug 17)

I saw this trailer a couple months ago, and I was really curious about it, even though it seems to deal with some feminist themes. I am really excited about it, even though everytime I see Jonathan Pryce in a movie or TV show, I can’t stop picturing him on Game of Thrones. Ugh!

Peppermint – Jennifer Garner, John Ortiz, Juan Pablo Raba (Sept 7)

I am iffy about this one. I will say, I am happy as clowns to see Jennifer Garner back in this bad ass type of role, but it just seems too much like Law Abiding Citizen for me. Now knowing that comparison, it probably won’t keep me away from it! Oh, if you’d like to know what the song is in the background, it’s “Exhumed” by Zola Jesus!

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms – Kiera Knightley, Mackenzie Foy, Helen Mirren (Nov 2)

I saw this trailer back in May I think? I kind of wish they’d release it closer to Christmas since that’s when people like to see The Nutcracker in general, but I am very interested in this though. This seems so cool! It’s also nice to see Mackenzie Foy on screen again!

Nobody’s Fool – Tiffany Haddish, Tika Sumpter, Whoopi Goldberg (Nov 2)

I literally saw this trailer probably three days ago, and I was laughing through the whole thing! I think Tiffany Haddish is freaking hilarious, a little dirty but I just love her! This just looks like a fun movie to watch on a casual night in.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald – Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Johnny Depp, Jude Law (Nov 16)

Yes, this has to be on my list. I’m really hoping that HBO will get the rights to it so they can just have a full on J.K. Rowling weekend. I have all 8 Harry Potter movies and the first Fantastic Beasts on my DVR! I just need this now! Thank god I’m patient.

Bumblebee – Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, Jorge Lendeborg Jr. (Dec 21)

I’m in the middle of The Last Knight right now, so I’m kind of hoping the reason why we’re getting this movie is because Optimus Prime killed Bumblebee. I’ve heard that’s a possibly, so in case it is, please don’t spoil it for me. I am still excited to see Bumblebee get his own movie though!

Mary Poppins Returns – Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ben Whishaw (Dec 25)

This is another one that has me very excited! I know a LOT of people are not looking forward to this reboot, but I am! I love Emily Blunt so I’m kind of curious on what she’ll bring to the table because let’s face it, nobody can touch Julie Andrews but since a lot of people have never heard Emily sing out loud, I think they’ll be in for a big surprise.

What are you mostly looking forward to coming out in these last several months?

snowflake