Why Basketball?



There are some days I wish I could go back in time and smack myself upside the head. I’ve been wanting to do it a lot lately, I’m not going to lie! One of the reasons why I want to do this is because I still have memories of being in the kitchen at my grandparent’s house, I’d be watching my papaw just sit silently–or in some cases yelling or cursing at the TV–while he watched a basketball game. The thought of seeing my papaw resting his elbows up on the table, his hands clutched together and face glued to the screen is still so adorable to me. I don’t think he even knew we were there sometimes because he was so into it.

I never once thought I’d be like that. Whenever I was in high school, yes, I did enjoy going to games but I figured since I didn’t know what exactly they were doing, I shouldn’t be counted as a fan.

When it was football season I would parallel park my wheelchair against the wired fence that separated the sidewalk and bleachers to the black track and football yard on the other side. I was smart with my placement. I could see the players, cheerleaders and anybody going up to their seats above. It was the ultimate spot.

In August, everybody would be wearing T-shirts and shorts because of the summer heat, but towards the end of September and throughout October, you wore hoodies and blue jeans to help stay warm from the cold breeze. I would be lying if I didn’t mention, I was in two layers on both upper and lower halves, but I wore only one pair of socks so I could still grip my controller with my foot and a blanket on my lap for good measure. I was determined to never go home early because I was too cold. If everybody else can make it through, so could I.

Whenever it was basketball season, I had another lucky seat. I wouldn’t parallel park to the bleachers per se, but I would get so close that anybody that sat above me would ask me if they could put their bags underneath my chair to protect it. I don’t believe those “court side seats” would ever be handicapped accessible. Why? Well, just because I was by the bleachers doesn’t make it safer. I’ve had basketballs (and volleyballs) thrown in my direction and one or two players have passed me in a very fast pace. No injuries to either party, but still it’s the fear that lives in the depths of my being and I’d never want to experience that again!

However, there was one game that still lives on in my mind. During my Junior year of high school, we had a sectional game at home. I was escorted to the space in between the extra set of bleachers. I was confused because my normal spot wasn’t occupied or anything, but I guess since all four of us in wheelchairs decided to turn out to the game that night that we’d get special seating. For the most part, it wasn’t that bad. I remember taking a lot of pictures with my friends and I sat next to a very nice lady, a grandmother of a basketball player on the other team. Everything was going good until the first quarter started to dwindle down. I knew from experience that when the players chances of scoring was fading, they’ll throw that ball to whatever side they need to, to get that point.

And then a fear came over me.

We were in the worst seating imaginable. We were right behind the damn basket.

Once I made this assessment, I began to freak out mentally and sweat started to appear  down my back from second quarter to the end of the game. By the time my mom came to pick us up later that night, I had my sister take off my varsity jacket that I had on all night and I never felt so relaxed in the cold temperature in my life. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you whether or not we won, but you can’t necessarily blame me.

The last high school game I ever went to was sometime in 2012. One of the bigger reasons why it’s been so long is because I don’t know anybody playing now. I’m also a bit afraid to see the “friends” that I used to hang out with in school, but I think I’m just afraid I’d act like we are fine and no harm done, when that’s far from the truth. So I’ve found an alternative route, and I find it really odd it would show up around the time my papaw passes away.

In November of 2016, I just had this strong feeling to watch a Butler game. Maybe I was missing my papaw or it was papaw who just wanted to watch a basketball game from heaven, who really knows!

I knew there was one on because I had seen it all over Facebook earlier that day but since my dad hadn’t watched a basketball game since the previous season, he was having the toughest time trying to find out what channel this game would be on. It took three people and two TVs to search for it. We never did find the game, but I started scrolling through the sport channels on the guide–something that I never did before I might add–and I ended up finding over four channels that I actually played Butler games. I was even impressed with myself!

I watched the crap ton of college basketball in 2016-17 season. I watched most of the games that appeared on FS1 and I even watched the two out of three games the Bulldogs played against Villanova (and won!). Beating out a #1 team always makes you feel good, for both the player and fans too! I went on to watching March Madness, which was that, absolute madness! I watched more games than I had most of the week. Everyday there was a different game and I basically let it consume me for a while. Even after Butler was done for the season, I continued to watch and was impressed by some of the other teams in the tournament.

When March Madness was over, I was a little crushed.

Now what the hell was going to do?

I had watched basketball for five straight months. I felt empty in a way, and then of course I found the NBA playoffs and then I was fine again!

Since I’ve never watched a professional basketball game before, I didn’t necessarily side with either team. I just went by whatever location they were in. I ended up watching majority of the playoffs and even the final game. I was glad that the Warriors had won, but I was even happier to finally go to bed that night too!

And then I was back to feeling gloomy because now I knew basketball was definitely over.

When August came around though, I don’t think I lasted long when I bravely asked my mom when college basketball started back up! If it wasn’t for Blondie’s wedding, I probably would have asked that question sooner, but I was good I kept it to myself for another month.

What’s crazy though is that instead of obsessing over college basketball this season, I’ve been watching a LOT of the NBA! I was only going to watch Golden State Warriors, Cleveland Cavilers, and San Antonio Spurs but somehow I started getting into Boston Celtics, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, and Oklahoma City Thunder. I don’t know how that part happened, but I’m not complaining considering I’m starting to learn names on the Celtics, Lakers, and Rockets team. Since my birthday landed on a Wednesday last year, my own birthday gift to myself was getting through the two games that played that night, but Christmas was even better as I even watched four out of the five games!

Don’t worry, I’m still watching Butler. I’ve even started watching over college teams. I had only watched one IU game in the 2016-17 season, and I didn’t even watch any of Purdue games, but this year I have seen four of Purdue and I want to say two of Indiana games. I’ve watched a lot of the pre-season games of Duke, Seton Hall, Xavier, and even Villanova too!

What has always bothered me is that I still have quite a bit of people who think I am only watching basketball because I must think somebody on the team is cute. In high school, yes, this was the way I worked, but considering I’m watching over eight teams I don’t think this assumption works for this! Although there is one professional player I do like, but he is not the reason why I have continued to watch his team play, however it is a perk!

I think the main reason why I’ve felt the need to smack myself though is because why didn’t I pay attention more to whenever papaw would explain the different positions and terms. Thank god for my mom as she’s been helping me a bit. I have been trying to really pay attention to the announcers so I think I can safely say I am learning, but I just wish I had done it while my papaw was alive. I think he would still be proud of me anyways!


REVIEW | Disgraced

Last time I reviewed a basketball themed documentary because it was still March Madness, well on the 31st, I watched another one that was similar, but instead of a happy ending this one wasn’t…

Showtime premiered Disgraced and it was about an incident that happened at Baylor University in 2003 involving the entire basketball team. A college student and basketball player Patrick Dennehy, was shot and killed by another team member who was supposedly was his best friend. Patrick and the one who shot him, Carlton Dotson were again supposedly paranoid about another teammate Harvey Thomas and his friend and cousin, Larry Johnson after having them over. The story goes that both Harvey and Larry had guns on them and were using them to scare the boys from accusing them for any wrong doing.

Later, after feeling extra paranoid of their situation, they in turn buy their own set of guns and told their other roommates that if Harvey or anybody else came looking for them to not let them in. So clearly, this raises some flags I would say! I guess though, they went to their coaches and asked if they should go to the police, their main coach Dave Bliss, said to keep things “in house” meaning don’t tell anyone as I imagined. This is where things began to get very strange because within a few days later Patrick Dennehy ends up missing and it’s within these days that people are now looking into the team and the coaches of Baylor University.

I was very much amazed by the amount of things discussed or in some cases, not talked about it within the mystery of how Patrick is dead and how Carlton, who was like a brother to him, would kill him. I mean, if they were as paranoid as they said to be, the mental statuses of Carlton kind of makes sense. You’ll learn more about what I mean when you watch the film. My thing was what the coaches did though, assistant coach Abar Rouse recorded the head coach, Dave Bliss as they began to create a cover up for the rest of their team on how much they knew about the situation of their players. Now a lot of people would think this was wrong and that he should have went to the coach and told him about his feelings about it, but like everybody said he was literally backed into a corner and Bliss even told him “I can hire and fire assistant coaches at will” now would you want to tell him after hearing that? I wouldn’t, I’d probably record him too honestly!

The film was very interesting and like my dad told me too, they’re not the first ones to have this type of scandal and sadly, I don’t think they’ll be the last either.

So did you watch Disgraced yet? What were your thoughts on the documentary?

REVIEW | Perfect In ’76

The month of March is a time for beloved basketball fans and the most dreaded time for anyone who loathes it as well. March Madness is exactly that, it is madness! I’ve sadly just realized that it’s not all about college basketball though, for high schools around the United States have their sectionals, regionals, and state championships all in this time too! I don’t know why I am just now figuring that out, but I am.

Showtime took it upon themselves to use it to feature a number of specials on the network for any basketball fans, and since I go back and forth with loving and hating it, (yes, there was a time where I’ve hated basketball!) I found a documentary that I thought would be cool to watch despite the fact that it would premiere on the weekend of my papaw’s passing. I recorded it and hoped that maybe I would leave it to the weekend after so I would (hopefully) get through it in one piece. I barely made a day!

It was called “Perfect In ’76” and was narrated by a fellow Hoosier and musician John Mellencamp and the whole thing discusses the perfect season of Indiana University’s Hoosiers in 1976, it included some of the former players on the team and announcers whether on local TV news stations or radio. It also had the infamous coach Bobby Knight talking about not only the undefeated season in ’76 but also the near-perfect season of the year before when they were beat by Kentucky in the NCAA championship.

One of the things that they first show is Indiana’s landscape of both city life with the campus in Bloomington and rural country sides that is probably the most known feature about the state. The first thing that John explains to the viewer is that “Basketball was invented in Massachusetts, but it was made for Indiana” and included that children were raised on basketball and IU was at the heart of it all. Everything about this scene was true, at least in my family.

My family is a fairly large basketball family, it ranges from IU, Butler, Purdue; my sister’s fiance is actually a fan of North Carolina, so he’s the only non-Indiana team in our family, which according to a number of my family members my papaw seemed to hate them with a passion. He was probably not happy how the 2017 NCAA championship ended. Anyways, this man would tape (well, most of the time it was my nana setting it up) almost every game on television so he could watch it whenever he was at home. We’ve had bookshelves and cabinets full of VCR tapes of basketball games around that house! I remember the late 90’s and we’d have family in the living room watching the game and all of us grandkids on the floor not exactly understanding what all the excitement was about basketball, later on majority of my family played basketball in school, I think everybody but my cousin Amy did it outside of elementary school.

Back to the documentary though, I watched it not really understanding some of the stats – I don’t know all of the correct terms and what the difference between a “forward” and “guard” but I have never had a problem with watching it! So whenever they were discussing the different players and Bobby Knight wanting a better offense when he first became the head coach of the team. I think it all went in one ear and our the other. I really liked it though, it was interesting! We all think of Bobby Knight as this angry dude who threw a chair across the court and got escorted off, but to see him like this especially in the last scene where they’re all sitting in the diner and he makes a speech to his former players and gets choked up a bit about how amazing they were and how he always appreciated them. It changes what we see in this person that has such an intimidating persona.

What I really found sort of hilarious, is that literally four days before I watched this Indiana University actually fired their current coach Tom Crean and everybody in my family about had a field day with this news because my papaw called it a long time ago! A month earlier, Bobby Knight had called into a radio and expressed his feelings against his former bosses and I couldn’t contained myself, I had to laugh at that! Gave it a few years and Tom will probably do the exact thing same and we’ll be back rolling our eyes at him.

Have you seen this documentary yet? Do you love (or hate) basketball? 


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Being The Older Sister.

Being handicapped and an older sister is a tricky thing.

When I was about 10 years old, I spent the whole weekend with my cousin Morgan with our grandma (dad’s mom) and on the last day we went to her house and I got to spend time with both her and little brother Nicholas. They are roughly the same age as my sister and I, but I’m one year older than Morgan. They terrorized each other. I had seen this before with my other cousins Kristi and her older brother Chris. It wasn’t anything new, but up until this point my sister and I had a good relationship, and then I came home after that visit acting like a little bitch. I remember that evening so well that it hurts now. I came home and was told that I had a surprise. Apparently Blondie and my mom fixed up my side of the room that we shared. I came home not liking any part of it. After that, I had to sleep in my own room because of my attitude of what happened that day! However, I think after all of those years of sharing a room together, ten was the right age to finally sleep in my own room. So in a way, spending the day with my cousins was a good/bad idea at that time!

Our bickering days came to a halt whenever she entered high school. I was actually excited to have my little sister in the same part of the school as me. I could see her now! The first semester of her freshman year I am still surprised she didn’t want to kill me whenever I came over to her lunch table. I was friends with most of the kids in her class, anybody that came over for her birthdays or slept over on the weekends knew about me and my disability. From what I could tell, the ones that came over were never bothered by it so that was good! I know at times I probably embarrassed her, but that was the only part of being an older sister I had left to enjoy was to taunt the crap out of her. When she started dating, everything got a little weird. She got her first real boyfriend during the end of summer of 2009. Trevor was probably my favorite out of the bunch. The only one I didn’t want to run over after things went sour with one another. Speaking of running over, I did make a small “promise” to one that if he ever hurt her (I knew of his history), that I would run over his feet. When he cheated on her, I went to the football game and I ran over his feet. That’s also when I realized that running over people’s feet isn’t as threatening as it used to be when I was as a kid!

Early 2011 came and she met this one, we thought it was only going to be a crush because he was only staying for a short time. He mostly lived in Italy where his dad was stationed, but he was from our hometown.. Everybody liked him but only a couple of people, including me. I thought it was cute the first time she showed me his picture, she definitely liked him it was THAT clear! When he moved back to Italy after they decided to get serious, things started to decline for them. He cheated on her twice, even though he came out and told her about it, it still hurt her deeply and we didn’t know how bad until a couple of years later. After that, entered the two “bad boys”. All three had their own bad tendencies with lasting effects too. Now we are in 2015 and she’s with Brandon aka “Batman” and she met him on her first night at college. We first met him on my birthday celebration last year. It was pretty awkward because we had only seen pictures and were told stories about this boy and that was it. My sister has quite a lot of baggage and he seems to accept her just the way she is. So that’s good enough for us.

Why am I giving you a look into my sister’s personal life?

Because I wanted you to see of how much I pay attention. I’ve seen hurt on my sister’s face too many times, but also saw joy just as much. It’s very awkward to be an older sister and have a disability, but it’s even more complicated to be single while being around these times. I was only in two small “relationships” and none of them lasted longer than a few months. I’ve become bitter from not being in a real relationship like my sister, but in a way watching her with the past and present boyfriend(s) has been a blessing in disguise. I’ve learned a lot about love. What it means to be in a relationship with someone and what’s truly acceptable and what isn’t. I think I’ve figured out what I wanted in a relationship if it ever happened one day.

During the last week of May, Batman moved into our house. It was an idea that came from my dad after he heard of their plans of moving up north and into an apartment. My parents weren’t having that, so this happened instead. They each have jobs down here and he seems to get along with everybody, even our dog ChiChi. Having another guy living in our house is a little weird for me, because I don’t exactly trust a lot of people, especially males and after Blondie’s situation that happened two years ago, it’s still pretty fresh in not only my mind but everybody else’s too. So I’ve been a bit wary of him still, even though I’m learning to accept him at MY pace. They’ve been expressing their thoughts of marriage and having children in the future and its brought a new light for my sister, because before she didn’t want to get married or have kids. So this was new but yet great for me! I want to be an aunt again!

See now there’s the thought of the future again.

If I don’t get married and have kids of my own, where will I go once my parents pass and/or can’t take care of me anymore? It’s a thought that’s on everybody’s mind. My mom and I have discussed it many times in the last three years. It’s nice to be able to talk about the worries of the future but as far as discussing the possibilities with all four of us together. It would be a bad idea! My dad would love nothing more but avoid the topic altogether and my sister, well she didn’t like the fact when I told her that I didn’t want her to be the one that takes care of me. A person outside of it all would wonder why I wouldn’t want my own sister to take care of me than rather worry about a nurse that would abuse me in a group home or something like that? To me, it’s a personal choice that I think is mine alone to make and I want my sister and her future husband (whether it’s Batman or not) to have a normal life that doesn’t involve wondering about what I need on a daily basis. If she’s anything like our dad, she’ll always be like that! She deserves her own life away from me. I don’t want any resentment there between us or she and her future husband. Hopefully one day things will be resolved and we’ll figure out what we really will do when the time is right, but I still stand by what I said two years ago and I think I always will.

A Place I’d Never Sit Foot In Again…

Source: perfectbucketlist.tumblr.com

The other day I was working and fixing my bucket list on my little tab at the top. It definitely needed to be cleaned because in ways it felt very chaotic and hard to read. I am very happy that I decided to make my own list but at times I feel like I wasn’t being realistic enough. As much as I’d like to get inside a taxi and say to the driver “follow that car!” and hit somebody over the head with a frying pan. Let’s face it, those things will never happen no matter how hard I try!

I was looking through my Pinterest board of things that I have on my original list. I’m sad to say that I’ve chosen to remove this one. To a normal person this would be a dream come true, but not for me.

I have never liked my voice being recorded, when I hear it, it sounds like squeaky and I feel so embarrassed by it, but it’s never kept me away from choir. I’ll be honest I don’t know what I was thinking in late 2009 early 2010, all I knew was I had to find a college to continue to educate myself. Even in middle school, I never had an idea what I wanted to do in life. At one point, I wanted to be a fashion designer and I actually took a class specifically to see if I’d really like it. I loved the class, but since I still needed help controlling a sewing machine I lost interest in it. I hate having help! It’s a normal pet peeve for ones with any kind of disability deals with on a daily basis. Anyways, the only music based class I have ever taken were the ones you had to have in middle school plus choir. That was it! I have always been interested in learning more about music. How to make it and record it. So when I found out that a college nearby my hometown had an audio recording program and that our school was taking a group of juniors and seniors to that exact college, my mom and I decided it would be a good idea for me to check it out.

Before even deciding that I was going on this college tour trip, I had actually been in contact with the director of the program. He was extremely sweet and genuine believed that there could be a way for me to do this. I was very upfront about my disability, explaining that I did everything with my feet and had trouble with tables being too high and such. He sounded like things could modified for me and that’s when things started to freak me out a little, but I’ll get to that later on. The day of the trip, it was just my aide and I on the short bus. Thank god for iPods because I was a nervous wreck the whole drive there! When we got there, we were all in the student union? Is that what it was called? I don’t remember, but we had to hear a few of the students talk about finding the right career and what college life is really like from their perspective. Afterwards, we were separated from our friends and into different programs we signed up for that the school had, audio recordings was mine of course and I was paired up with a junior boy. Within five seconds later a very tall man came up to us and looked down at me and said, “are you Meghan that I’ve been talking to?” I said “yes” and he took us on the tour of the music department.

I don’t remember much of the actual tour but he did a pretty good job at it though! He talked to both of us including my aide. It was nice to brig a voice and face to a person I had only met through emails. We took a couple of elevators because there were a lot of stairs. We got to meet a few of the different instructors and we finally got to see the rooms where the students get to play their instruments and learn the recording process. When we walked into both rooms I felt as though I was in heaven! It was so roomy and he explained to me that tables could be lowered or raised higher if needed. We also got to meet some of his present students, including two boys that I went to school with and I was a little weirded out about that. They were nice but I know different looks from people – they had the look of “why is she here? How is she going to attempt this?” It was pretty cool just being in the rooms with all the equipment. The experience itself was neat! After our little tour was over, he took us back to be with our classmates in the lunch area. Before we left the school completely, we had one last tour of the whole campus and that was great too because I hadn’t been through the whole grounds since 2004 when my mom signed up for the start of her nursing degree.

That January, I applied for the school and got my letter in mid-March. The same day I brought home one of my drawings for my dad to make a frame out of it for me. I remember my mom crying because she was so happy that her oldest daughter was going to school at the same one she went to. In May, our hometown newspaper puts all of the graduates’ majors and schools they were going for and I was the only one with “Audio Recordings” on it. I felt weird again, along with other feelings too! Once I graduated, we kept getting mail for college campus tours for the parent’s and I wanted to go to the one in June. We should have went to that date but we couldn’t because of my mom’s schedule. We didn’t even get started on my Voc Rehab stuff until mid-August. I signed up for my classes and met my advisor, within three days later we realized that I wasn’t going to have my books or an aide for my first week of classes so my cousin was comfortable with filling in. The day I was supposed to start my classes, my mom had been on the phone with my advisor and switched all of my classes to online. That’s when my real depression started. After that, I’m surprised that I didn’t grow a hatred for music, since I didn’t I learned to distance myself from everybody else.

What still gets me though, that September I started emailing a student I had seen on that campus trip, I thought if I could get him to give me some advice about my situation and learn more about the program I’d feel better about it. He was really nice and was honest with me. He told me if I really wanted to learn about music then I’d like doing this career wise. At that point, nothing was really working with me and I quit my studies in October. Before all this, I knew I was in a wheelchair and did things with my feet, but I didn’t fully accept myself. I don’t normally like getting help from anybody, trust me both my papaw and dad are bad at this still! I also don’t like modified tables and things of that nature, I feel as though I can push myself to deal with it. I’ve used random chairs as my desks way too many times. I think I signed myself because I needed to do it and thought it sounded the most interesting! I didn’t care for anything else. I think my mom was right, maybe I just wanted to go to college to join all of the parties.

Now I have a new sense of myself as a person and have a new respect for musicians. I have also added quite a few artists and bands onto my long list on my iPod and Spotify. They say things happen for a reason. Maybe I needed to have this little downfall to rise back up who knows. I do know that even though my music preferences have advanced far from everything that I could imagine, that I never want to set foot or in this case “wheels” into a recording studio. I don’t think I’d ever feel the same as I did that first time. I might feel ashamed or sad and then I’d have to explain why I feel like that to a stranger. So that is my entire reason why I’d never go back but I might apologize to the director for leading him on like that, but it’s funny though he was one of the only people who ever had faith of me being in the program. So I’d probably tell him “thank you” for that part. Yeah, now I’m done.

Home Away From Home

It’s happened again. I still feel like its May and the summer’s just starting, instead it’s ending and my sister is gone to her new school for the year. This time, she’s a little bit closer to home but it’s still pretty difficult to wrap your head around as she’s been at home since the first week of May and had a job. Now she’s gone somewhere else to sleep and be for the next six months until Christmas break comes around. I’m sure she’ll come back before any of the major holidays but still though. I was for sure that by the time we left the house this afternoon to get her settled into her dorm room, my mom was going to lose it and just start bawling her eyes out. Well, she did but it was for something else or so she told us. Blondie seemed to do better this time around though, her face turned red but that could’ve been the heat warming up her cheeks too. Yesterday, it was a beautiful calm and somewhat cool temperature wise kind of day, today it was the total opposite and hot as hell. Thank god there was a breeze or else the three of us could have melted into a puddle just packing her stuff from the parking lot to her dorm building. Getting there wasn’t the problem, it was happened while we were trying to find a way to bring everything inside in one load that pushed us to our limits. 

I’m pretty used to my family using my wheelchair as a mule and carrying their heavy bags and stuff, but I just thought that’s all I would have to carry inside. Uh-uh. My sister had to have like four pillows, a large black blanket, and her St. Louis Cardinals teddy bear that I ended up carrying inside the building. Oh my gosh, I had the blanket behind my back and I had to lean back to make sure it wasn’t going to slide right out of there. My mom put the two medium size pillows on my lap and I held her teddy bear in between my hand. Somehow I managed to keep everything in their places until we got inside and then everything started coming undone from their places. My mom carried a large size box and my sister had the doyley and that had like four different things on it. So you should have seen the two of us going up and down ramps from crossing the streets. It was an event let me tell you! When we got inside, there were people inside but it wasn’t too packed. We got in there and my mom and sister were trying to figure out where the elevator was as my sister was trying to get her key for her room. They didn’t have an elevator in the building, at least not a public elevator. Some random guy that was helping out the incoming students fill our their forms and get their keys asked rudely up in my mom and sister’s faces and asked, Why do you need an elevator? My sister put him in his place quick with My sister’s handicapped and she needs an elevator to get up there to help us. I couldn’t help but think to myself and wonder if I had too much stuff on my chair for him to think I was driving a wheelchair into the freaking building. They let me use the maintenance elevator and considering the size of it I felt like I was back at school again.

It was incredibly small! I remember the elevator my Elementary used to have to get up and down the stage in the gym was pretty small. I’m pretty sure this sucker was smaller though. I had to follow these two people, now the guy that I rode with I never asked what his name was and I asked him a lot of questions and sadly that wasn’t one of them. Darn it! The girl though, her name was Patricia and she was nice, they were both very nice. She asked me while we were walking to the elevator, where I was from and I told her and she asked us about the drive and I told her it was pretty short than the last time and then she asked about random things about my hometown, the question that made me feel very weird was when she asked me if we had a Wal-Mart. I told her no and then she started naming off different places and I kept saying no, but I told her we had a JayC’s. I had never felt more like a hick in my life. I’ve NEVER felt like that before getting those questions and I wonder why we get made fun of on a daily basis. After we got upstairs, to me the whole dorm looked and felt like a prison. I mean, the room was nice and everything but it just felt weird and it might be because Blondie’s first dorm building was brand NEW and so it had that fresh feeling about everything to it. Mom and Blondie unloaded my back-end of my chair and I went back downstairs with this awesome no-name dude who ends up being a firefighter. If you’re wondering yes, he was cute!

When we got back downstairs I voted to stand guard of everything by the doyley and watch my mom almost trip on herself going up the damn stairs. I didn’t even see it per se, I just heard her say softly “shit” and quickly recover and then I realized what happened. While they were gone, I was basically trying to keep to myself but be polite to everybody coming and going into the building. During the third time they went upstairs, this guy came up to me and his name was LeRoy and oh my god was he cute! He actually came up to me and started talking to me and I was very impressed with myself, I didn’t stutter my words like I usually do. He asked me some of the same questions the girl did, but I told him that I tried to go there at the school once. When he asked me what I was going to major in, I felt embarrassed to say it in front of him but I told him that I don’t get along well with music theory. I was going for Audio Recordings. His friend and another staff worker, came up to me and introduced himself to me and he was so nice and handsome. He even gave me this Christian kick off party slip and I think I freaked him out when he tried to put it in my head and I lifted up my foot instead. It’s always nice to freak people out especially when they’re good about it too. He put it in my foot and I held it there for a bit before giving it to Blondie as she’ll be going there and not me. When we finally got everything unloaded, we left and went across to Financial Aid which was in it’s last hour before closing and then we got everything set up for her parking too. I think we were there for three or four hours but since it only takes like an half of hour to get there, it wasn’t that big of a hassle.

I find it every year that we do this, even though this is the second year we’ve done this. I’m REALLY glad that I’m not going to school. I know that I say that every day of the normal school year, but I still don’t want to go back to college. It’s been four freaking years since that first year and I still have very clear memories of how I acted towards my family and how much I hated everybody for not giving me the chance to do something that THEY knew wasn’t such a good idea. I wanted to live on campus REALLY bad, but to me like everybody else. My mom knew that I’d only want to live on campus to go to the parties. I wanted to get out of the house bad. I wanted to start living on my own, but since I’m stubborn I couldn’t see all of the things it takes for me to even be left at home alone for thirty minutes. Now that I’ve realized all these different things that goes on, I can’t just think of my “wants” and “needs” there’s so much more than what I think, or in this case thought. Blondie isn’t handicapped but she still has lots of things she needs to know before getting herself into first. Sometimes I feel like the more she lives this house, the quicker the time will be before she’ll get an apartment or a house one day and I’ll still be at the same place. Maybe one day things will change and I’d figure out what I wanted to do in this world, until then I’m pretty comfortable with blogging and listening to music.

I took this just before we left and this was my mom's backseat and this picture doesn't even give it justice as to how full it was back there, but it wasn't as bad as Plummer.
I took this just before we left and this was my mom’s backseat and this picture doesn’t even give it justice as to how full it was back there, but it wasn’t as bad as Plummer.
My mom found this in the hallway. At least they knew that everybody will eventually go to a college party in their lifetime.
My mom found this in the hallway. At least they knew that everybody will eventually go to a college party in their lifetime.
I found Blondie's room a lot bigger than her room up at ISU honestly and as you can see, they have carpet. Another difference!
I found Blondie’s room a lot bigger than her room up at ISU honestly and as you can see, they have carpet. Another difference!

Frosty The Snowman Came To My Neighborhood


Do you remember when I said I was starting to feel like the Grinch and if I started to green, then I really am changing into him? Well, I’m pretty sure my sister has turned into the Grinch and been like that even before Thanksgiving. She is home for a month and that’s the longest she’s ever been home since we moved her into her dorm in August. She got through her first semester of college! She slipt on the sidewalk last week, she actually told me this just a little bit ago. She and a friend from her class, were walking to their class and she was struggling to keep her balance while walking on the slick ice. She had her hand on his shoulder and they both agreed if one fell, the other person was going down with them. However, she said after saying that, she felt like her leg was being pulled forward and she took off down the sidewalk about five feet. When they both realized she went down. Her friend was so shocked that he literally asked her if he could laugh. She didn’t care much and stayed there for a bit and thought about her life. Earlier tonight, Blondie thought it would be cool to make a snowman. It was still snowing when she decided to go outside. She wore some of her clothes, but wore one of our dad’s sweatpants. She and mom went outside and she make a small snowman, fully decorated and my mom took pictures on Blondie’s phone. While she was still outside, mom decided to take pictures of she and I on her phone. So when it came time to upload those pictures, she uploaded ALL of them onto Facebook. And there a few gnarly pictures of my mom and I too.

When I went out in the living room. Mom and Blondie weren’t talking as much as they were when I was still in my room. Dad was asking if I wanted to go in there, but I was worried if I went out there, they’d stop their conversation. Which is what happened, but when mom opened the front door to change the weather outside. To find it was snowing, awaken Blondie’s inner child or something, because before she went outside. We were discussing why we shouldn’t put up the Christmas tree. I want to put up the tree. We usually put it up the last week of November, but since Thanksgiving came on that last week and Blondie had to go back to school on that Monday. My mom had told me that we weren’t going to put it up without her. The way she’s acting, we should have just put it up without her. I like it when our house looks Christmas-y and it just makes me happy and gets me ready for the holidays. We’ve had out tree for as long as I’ve been born. I like looking into the box with the ornaments and looking through the newspaper that my parents wrap them in and see what was in the paper for that year. Even though I’m pretty sure the papers are from 2012, it’s still pretty cool!

One of the reasons why they were discussing it was because of my big mouth. I had made the comment on my mom’s status about I wonder how the kittens will be like with the tree being up and lit. It wasn’t that big of a deal, because if we get a little spray bottle, that will pretty much stop them from trying to climb it or messing with the ornaments and lights. They might even ignore it and lay underneath it like Oliver used to do. Okay, I’m done with talking about this. Enjoy the little picture of my sister’s snowman. I’ll work on my Free Write Friday entry tonight since I took a two-hour nap this afternoon.