What I Love About Afternoon Tea!

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Hello!

Last October, when I stayed at my mom’s work while she recovered from her second surgery, my nana and I got to have a lot of fun together and one of the things we both got to enjoy was a theme dinner there at the nursing home.

Gail who works in the activities department explained to us that they try to have four different themes in a year. She and the other girls decorate the different dining rooms and they plan with the chefs of a meal that would go with that particular theme. The one I got to enjoy was “Serenade At The Seven Seas” or something like that. I liked it. I also loved trying the different courses, but the other ladies were a bit mixed though!

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The theme was called “My Fair Lady” and I guess the ladies in the activities department decorated the dinning rooms and made feathered hats or “bonnets” for the female residents! She took pictures and even wrote out the menu of what they served to the residents! I was going to use the one she made, but it had some spelling mistakes so I just redid it – later I realized I could have spelling mistakes on mine! Funny how they works!

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They also had a little tea party too!

According to Gail, in the film a couple of characters host a party and they decided to recreate that with the residents, so they decorated the large activity room with very pretty and colorful table clothes and had these beautiful centerpieces in the middle of them. They looked very vintage but yet modern too! They also made the ladies hats with feathers and ribbons in crafts. My nana really loved that, but as you can see apparently so did Alex!

28535342_1768924659838523_1707063689_nIn 2016, I actually wanted to have an afternoon tea themed birthday party. I had so many ideas that I wanted to do. I wanted to decorate my grandparent’s kitchen table with different fabrics, and since my birthday is like the day after Halloween, I knew my nana had a large black table liner and I thought if we put that on the table itself and laid out a red runner in the middle that way it wouldn’t look too dark and gloomy for the party!

Over the course of the last two years, I’ve actually wondered what I’d serve to this tea party if I ever had one! Since I read so many of my fellow blogger friends going to afternoon tea at different hotels or just plainly at home with their family members and/or close friends., I’ve been able to figure out what all is served, and I’ve grown to love the three teared stand of food that is laid out on the table. The first thing they give you is your tea. However, I’m like the 1% that doesn’t like coffee or tea, so I’m more interested in finding a good lemonade recipe. My mom actually made a homemade strawberry lemonade last year, where she let the strawberries sit out in the juice overnight to allow the flavors to marinate together. I’m kind of partial to anything raspberry, so whenever I see a “raspberry lemonade” on a menu at a restaurant, I instantly order it! So I’d rather have a raspberry lemonade instead.

As much as I’ve gathered, you usually start with the sandwiches, they are usually placed on the bottom and bigger tear. The traditional flavors are egg salad, smoked salmon and cumber all cut in small bites so they look more dainty, and they always have the crusts cut off! Now I look on Pinterest for other ideas to make this a little bit more casual, so I am curious about creating a sandwich or two as some kind of wrap or pinwheel–using the traditional plain tortilla or having a variation of spinach or whole wheat!

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On the second tear you had the scones, which apparently in the states we say the word completely wrong! I’d explain on how it’s really pronounced but I don’t even know how to describe it, so I apologize there.

I have actually seen quite a few of my favorite chefs make scones on their television programs, so I already know of some different kinds I’d like to try out. I also know that when you’re making them for the first time, they’re suppose to be crumbly, so there’s nothing wrong with them, that’s just how they’re meant to be! Ree Drummond created the Maple Oat Nut Scones after not being able to visit a Starbucks where she lives; they look really good! The way she described them on her show The Pioneer Woman they taste like a biscuit type of pancake, because it has a strong taste of maple syrup! However, I think I would have to keep the coffee out of it! And then there’s a Cheddar and Dill Scone recipe from Ina Garten, she’s made this with both cheddar and a Stilton, which is like a stronger blue cheese! She’s very inspired by French food and had a gourmet food store back in the day, so she’s figured out different ways to make a good savory scone!

28536475_1768924629838526_1468751189_nNow the real question is what would I do about the clotted cream and jam that they serve alongside the scones itself? I know we don’t have the traditional clotted cream or nobody makes it to that level as the British, so the next best choice to have would either be mascarpone or cream cheese! Personally, I’ve never been in jam or perseveres, so I wouldn’t necessarily put it out as an option if it was only me, but if I had a group of people, I’d probably get a small jar of strawberry or blueberry jam, but for those who want to be really adventurous they can try out the marmalade. You know, I love the smell of that stuff because it’s like oranges, but I have never tried it before and if it was put out there on the table, I probably would like to try a small dab of it.

As far as the top layer of the stand, my thoughts have differed, sometimes I think a very casual take on decorative cupcakes would work out very nicely! You could make minis so they’d fit on the tear better. However if you wanted to add a fun twist to them, like stuffing them, it wouldn’t necessarily work on the tiny ones. I’ve noticed I keep looking into French pastries. You’d think I’ve been watching too much Ina Garten lately! So the possibility of having macrons, which is something that is on my food bucket list (yes, I do have one those! I actually need to work on that soon!) and there’s the tarts or tarlets you can make, like the Mini Raspberry Tarts that Julia Baker made on her TV show! These were so cute and seemed really easy to make! If you’re a chocoholic, in which I sort of am, you need a couple of good chocolate desserts too! Truffles would be a good idea, as you can just eat it in one bite! You could dip strawberries in chocolate or make little pote de creme (puddings!) in mason jars too.

There doesn’t seem like there’s a right or wrong way to create your own afternoon tea! If you’re interested in learning and seeing what is actually served at the teas in the United Kingdom, I have compiled a list of favorite blog posts for you! I hope you have enjoyed this post!

A Candy Shop Afternoon Tea at Conrad St. James – Lux Life | Love Is In The Air at Langham London’s Valentine’s Afternoon Tea – Fresh And Fearless | Afternoon Tea at Mr. Fogg’s Gin Parlour – Little Miss Katy | Afternoon Tea at Rockcliffe Hall – This Northern Gal | Sweet Treats: Glam Rock Afternoon Tea at K West Hotel & Spa – AbsolutelyLucy

Have you ever attended an afternoon tea before? If you have, what was it about it that you loved the most? For those of you who haven’t, have you ever been tempted to create one yourself? Let me know in the comments!

snowflake

73 Questions.

anne

Howdy!

If anybody goes on YouTube on a regular basis and most of us do; you’re probably familiar with seeing Vogue Magazine’s 73 Questions videos. If not, the magazine asks different celebrities a total of seventy-three questions to answer and they’ll film the answers on the spot and put it on their YT channel. I’ve seen the many videos, but I will admit that I have not watched a single one!

I’m actually surprised that I’ve only seen one blogger post anything about the dreaded questions. I figured that there would be more since we have a lot of both beauty and fashion bloggers out there, I thought they’d kind of jump on that bandwagon kind of quickly! Anyways, the one person who was brave enough to do is BlogAlongWithMe. She might’ve inspired a few other people to take up the challenge and publish their answers as well!

Let’s get started with the questions!

1. What country in the world would you love to visit?

Apparently, I can’t list just one even though everybody would think otherwise. England, Poland, Netherlands, Ireland and France. All in that order too!

2. Name one thing you can’t live without?

Music.

3. What’s one thing you like to have with you everyday?

Camera and a notepad with a pen.

4. What’s one cause that is dear to you heart?

Ohh, I’d say anything that has anything to do with children and teens with physical disabilities.

5. What’s your favourite colour?

Purple.

6. Who’s the funniest person you know?

I’ve got a lot of funny people in my family, but I’d probably say my Uncle David and cousin Chris. God! It’s a bad idea to get stuck in a room with them together because there’s no filter between them! They’re fun though.

7. Who would make you most starstruck?

I don’t know, I think meeting any celebrity that you really like would make you starstruck. However, if I’d ever met one of the royals (British or Swedish) I’d probably faint right in front of them.

8. What’s your favorite movie?

You know, out of all of the movie posts I’ve done lately, I have yet to actually answer that question. It’s so difficult to pin point a favorite film.

9. Favorite movie in the past five years?

And this one doesn’t help either! It’s like a three way tie with Brooklyn, The Red Violin (even though it came out in 96, I just watched it last year!) and The Theory Of Everything.

10. A book you plan on reading?

If I don’t decide to dive back into the Dan Brown books, I might get City Of Bones by Cassandra Clare.

11. Favorite TV show that’s currently on?

Supergirl and Victoria.

12. On a scale of one to ten how excited are you about life right now?

6.

13. Twitter or Instagram?

Twitter

14. What’s your favorite food?

I couldn’t decide between broccoli with ranch dip and Steak n Shake’s cheese fries. ♥

15. Least favorite food?

Mashed Potatoes. 😦

16. What do you love on your pizza?

Sausage and Pepperoni with extra cheese!

17. Favorite drink?

Chocolate milk.

18. Favorite dessert?

Ice cream and cupcakes.

19. Coffee or tea?

Neither.

20. What’s your favorite band?

Oh boy, that’s another hard question. Within Temptation or Celtic Woman. Can they be included?

21. Favorite solo artist?

Christina Aguilera.

22. Favorite song?

I am loving both Love So Soft by Kelly Clarkson, Him & I by G-Eazy featuring Halsey, and Havana by Camila Cabello at the moment!

22. If you could sing a duet with anyone, who would it be?

Celtic Woman, no joke!

23. If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

Harp.

24. If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

I’ve always loved sleeves, but since my arms are so tiny that I’m so worried that whatever design I’d chose wouldn’t look as good as it does in my head.

25. Dogs or cats?

I like both, but cats.

26. Best gift you’ve ever received?

Speakers.

27. Best gift you’ve ever given?

I like making gifts, but I did purchase Christmas gifts this year for my family so that worked too!

28. Last gift you gave a friend?

I think it was a fuzzy poster that I had done, but that was years ago so!

29. What’s your favorite board game?

Scattergories is a fun game to play with people who can’t understand the rules! UNO is also fun too, even though it’s clearly not a “board” game.

30. What’s your favorite country to visit?

I’ve never been out of the states.

31. What’s the last country you visited?

I can’t answer this one either..

32. Heels or flats?

Heels, even though I don’t wear them. I do love the crap out of them though!

33. Pilates or yoga?

Never tried either one.

34. Best way to de-stress?

Surprisingly cleaning! I love to clean and organize. I feel like I’m in need of a spring cleaning on my bookshelf.

35. If you had one superpower, what would it be?

Be invisible.

36. What is your most favorite thing about yourself?

I love my patience.

37. Who do you miss most?

My papaw.

38. What are you listening to right now?

The Unforgiving by Within Temptation.

39. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I don’t really get phone calls anymore, but probably my nana!

40. Who was the last person you sent a text to?

I don’t remember, I don’t get very many of those either.

41. A sport you wish you could play?

Ohh, the only reason why I always wish to be back in high school around the fall is because of powder puff football.

42. Scary film or happy endings?

Happy endings, actually I like happy mixed in with a surprise at the very end.

43. Favorite season?

I’ve always been a fan of fall, it symbolizes a lot of things for me.

44. Three people alive or dead that you would like to have dinner with?

King Richard III only to ask him about how he managed to get through life as a soldier and king while having Scoliosis. I feel we’d have fun comparing stories throughout the many centuries between us!

I’d also like to have an interview with King Henry VIII. I’d definitely yell at him for beheading Anne Boleyn and for not putting his oldest sister Princess Margaret’s line in succession after the deaths of his children, because then Mary, Queen of Scots wouldn’t have to be killed by her cousin, Queen Elizabeth. She definitely didn’t want to do that, she was forced into it by her councilors.

And lastly, I’d like to have dinner with my papaw again. We’d get pizza from Fish Hut and watch Butler basketball on TV. 🙂

45. Where were you born?

In a hospital 🙂

46. What is the farthest you have been from home?

I’ve been to Florida and that’s definitely far away, since when we went to Disney World in the middle of March, it was sunny and warm with the one day full of rain on Wednesday, but by Thursday it had snowed and ice and everybody was so jealous at us; school was actually cancelled those last two days before Spring Break!

47. Lipstick or lip gloss?

Matte lipstick, even though I don’t wear it. I think it’s beautiful on other ladies!

48. What would be the title of your autobiography?

I’ve never had a good title for this. I don’t even have a solid title for my project I’m writing myself!

49. Favorite sound?

Irish music and babies laughing!

50. Favorite animal?

Hawks

51. Who is your girl crush?

Oh god, how about I just add my blog post to answer this correctly? Top 5 Girl Crushes

52. What is your favourite Ice-cream?

I love vanilla, cookie dough, mint, and cookies n cream!

53. Do you think you’re strong?

After everything that’s been happening in the last two years I feel like I have to be to at this point!

54. What was the last book you read because everyone was reading it?

Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. Yeah, I managed to freak out a few people with it too! It was fun!

55. What film made you cry the most?

Ugh, I don’t watch very many movies that have I actually made me cry. I kind of try to dodge those to the best of my ability.

56. What was the last thing you ate?

Cereal.

57. Mountain hideaway or beach house?

Mountain hideaway, more chances to go on walks and take pictures!

58. Favourite sport to watch?

Basketball, but I like figure skating, which is one of the reasons why I’m kind of excited for the Winter Olympics. I don’t like the fact that the paralympics are on the same week as March Madness though, because you know ESPN and the local channels will be talking about college basketball. 😦 As much as I love my Butler Bulldogs, I’m not totally thrilled about it.

59. Hair colour?

Dark brown.

60. Eye colour?

Brown.

61. Last film you watched?

Claire In Motion. It was okay.

62. What Book are you reading now?

Still reading The Girl On The Train.

63. Where are you living now?

Can’t say.

64. Blow Dry or Air Dry?

I prefer air dry.

65. What was the best thing to happen you this month?

I got over the flu.

66. What is something that recently moved you?

Ohh, Zoella’s chat in her first vlog about plans for the year! She discussed how much hard it takes to be a full time blogger and I think nobody will truly understand the lifestyle of being a blogger especially one that can’t travel and do a lot of things that other people can do in the same niche. We disabled bloggers are a total different group, but we’re strong and know we can be just as powerful as everybody else in the blog industry.

67. If you could teach one subject in school what would it be

Oh, I don’t know I loved art, novels (we read four books in a semester, but it should been a whole year course!), and creative writing!

68. Top 3 style icons?

Zoe London, Niomi Smart, and Jenna Coleman.

69. What is something you can’t do?

Walk on my own, but I don’t want to learn anymore. 🙂

70. What makes you laugh no matter what?

Zoella and Mark Ferris together!

71. What did you want to do with your life when you were 12 years old?

Be a singer.

72. What is an important life lesson for someone to learn?

Pick your battles. Not everything deserves a reaction, bite your tongue if you have to and move on from the situation.

73. What do you do on rainy days?

Blog my life away or lay in bed all day long.

And that’s it!

Somehow I managed to complete this in two days and it was really, really fun to answer all of these questions! I’m really sorry that I didn’t remove the “u” in some of the words, but between adding the bold and answering each question, I didn’t even want to be bothered with that!

snowflake

 

The Wedding | Part Two!

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Hi 🙂

If you haven’t read any of the previous wedding blog posts these are all of them: Blondie’s Wedding DressBridal ExpoThe Bridesmaid DressesThe Bridal ShowerWedding Playlist –  Nails, Hair & DressesPart One.

Let’s begin!

Saturday morning was a bit of a blur because I remember getting up around sevenish and thinking, “mom will surely get up soon” because she told me we’d get up at 8am and go over to Blondie’s apartment and head over to the church. Well, my mother has been having issues with her alarm clock. She’s been hitting that snooze button a lot lately, and the day of the wedding was no exception! I think she got up maybe 10 minutes before she told her we’d be there. If you read the end of “part one” you know that all of our clothes we were going to wear over there were already at Blondie’s, well my mom put me in a Wonder Woman shirt. I wouldn’t had an issue with it if I hadn’t said what I did in my Maid Of Honor speech at the reception. I’ll get into that later!

When we got at the apartment I sat out in the car, patiently waiting to get this day started. When we arrived at the church, Blondie with her wedding dress in tow, found out that the doors to the church were locked after she had been told the night before that they wouldn’t be. So that was our first let down of the day! We sat out there under the canopy, soon after Jayde and Jace joined us. Somebody from the church itself came to unlock the doors and attempted to show my sister to turn on the air conditioners which again did not help at all! In our defense, the room the girls were given had like two fans so we definitely put them into good use when we all got there and during the ceremony!

Jayde worked on Jace’s hair and then once Dyllanne got there, she started working on my hair. While us girls were in the beginning process of getting ready, we had two little guests come into our room because they were early birds, both Jordan and Patty sat towards the back of our room and watched us and play on their phones. They also had their tuxes on! I’m pretty sure they were content on staying in there despite roasting in that part of the room. For some reason they left and all of a sudden we started hearing this banging going on and Blondie went running out and yelling at them because they were playing the drums! Skyela came a little bit after, she sat on the floor by her mirror she brought. Alli got her hair done at a salon and then got ready in our room. The only one who got there while we were to start doing pictures was Sam, but the poor girl had some issues with the zipper of the dress and had to get it fixed early in the morning.

We took the group and individual pictures in the large area of the church, I don’t know what it’s called so I apologize! All throughout the day, Brandon did NOT want to see Blondie until she walked down the aisle despite the fact he was there when she purchased her dress. He wanted to go the traditional route and so that’s what they did. So Blondie went first and we did group pictures with both bridesmaids and groomsmen. The littlest ring bearer Baby J was dressed up in his tux – he was so cute! He joined everyone and semi stayed still for majority of the pictures. He put up his devil horns inside the church area and what was interesting was after the wedding was over, our sound guy found Silento’s “Nay Nay” song and he started dancing. He did the stanky leg and then at the last he did a very inappropriate dance move which not only scared his mom but made me think in my head, “well we’re officially going to hell!”

Back to when we were getting ready, we had an hour to kill before the wedding was to start and so I hung out with my Aunt Laurie, Uncle Mike and nana for a bit. After talking to them for a bit, mom took me into the guys’ room as they had the cold room as my dad said as he was busy pulling up some of the girl’s zippers. Zippers on dresses are the worst! My mom pushed me out into the main area and I saw my grandma and grandpa. I got a good hug and compliments from both of them and then we all ran into the guys’ room and realized how much we deserved this room than the other one. Also, we had less of a mess in ours and we had more space!

And then it was time to line up.

Since I was in my push wheelchair, the best man, Allen pushed me down and then once we got to the crossroad Jayde pulled me back into my spot. Growing up, I was always curious to see who was in the audience; this was the one time that I didn’t care because I knew the focus was not on me and I was pretty content with it. When it was time for Blondie to walk, the song changed and I hadn’t even seen her yet before I started crying! I swore I saw dad cry though! She gave me her large bouquet and I had to hold both mine and hers in my between my toes. And I wanted them like this, because our original idea hurt my arms too much. I did not drop either one! They did this special thing in the middle with putting both gray and pink sand inside a frame of the two of them. I don’t know which one had it, but they mixed some of papaw’s ashes into it as well!

The ceremony was beautiful though and next we got to mingle with family and friends. I got a chance to bond with Baby J who did not understand why I wasn’t using my hands to do his spinner thingy. It was so cute! He also tried to push me around too! Thank god for Brandon’s dad though! When the guests all left, everybody sat out and chilled before going over to the reception area!

Everybody finally arrived there and situated ourselves in the small corners of the room. We all lined up once more and we were introduced and seated, but one thing I hated about it though was the fact Allen and I hadn’t even gotten halfway to the table before the DJ brought out the bride and groom. So I didn’t get to see that part, but oh well! We sat there for a bit, before everybody was allowed to get their drinks. I just wanted a sprite in the beginning, before I had any alcohol for the night, but the bartender I guess didn’t hear that I just wanted a sprite so he put a couple of shots of vodka in it and it was absolutely disgusting! However, I will say Blondie’s screwdriver drink was pretty good! I had some sips out that throughout the night.

We ate and it was time for the speeches. Allen went first and it was very sweet. Mine was a bit of a blur because I figured once Blondie started reading it out loud, she’d find the mistakes. I wrote out the speech so I imagined I’d have more than I thought. I did realize I never gave it an ending! I also couldn’t talk about Blondie much mostly because if I had, it would have been longer than a couple of minutes so I only talked about Brandon and the earliest memories I have of him, one of which was his loyalties on favorite superhero brand: Marvel or DC. I still think he fibbed and said Marvel so he wouldn’t get on my bad side, but now you know why I felt weird earlier that morning wearing my Wonder Woman shirt because that’s clearly DC–mom! And then I added a couple of notes for the both of them to remember down the line, in which Blondie proceeded to add things at the end of each part. I vaguely hitting her leg whenever she started doing this!

The last thing they did was cut the cake, thankfully Jordan took pictures and mom has video of it on her phone, although that has yet to grace Facebook. The DJ said “this can go either two ways, you can give it to each other nicely or stuff their faces” and Jayde, Jace and I were all like “she’d kill him if he did that!” and what do you know, he just shoved it in her face but it sort of missed her face (and dress) but he definitely got hit with it because she was pissed!

 

After the first dance, and father-daughter/son-mother dances were done, we were finally allowed to dance. Jayde was VERY happy about this! I had to be coaxed into it. I was way to insecure of my surroundings. I went to every dance in my electric wheelchair, so being in this chair freaked me out! I remember sitting at the edges of the bridal party tables in horror, enough that when Blondie came up and asked me why I wasn’t on the dance floor, I kind of burst into tears and I felt bad about that, because then I thought I would be ruining this for her. So I sat with Alli and her sister Shelby, trying to regain bits of my pride back. I felt bad for them but they were being nice and keeping me company, and then I saw Allen sitting in his chair by himself too so I decided to talk to him and we had a very nice chat.

And when our conversation had ended, I thought to myself “you know what it shouldn’t matter which wheelchair you’re in, you need a break from the bullshit you’re going through so go have some fun” all I remember next was saying “f*ck it” in my head and asking Allen to push onto the dance floor. He did and I basically danced the entire night away and it was so much fun! However, I was very glad whenever the DJ would play the slower songs because I needed a break in between or at least my butt and neck did. I saw my dad dance not only with my sister (twice) but with me (I tried to get away but he kept pushing my wheelchair back to him) and mom and it was a country song. The only country song I danced to that night! I was also pretty proud of myself of the fact that I didn’t go into a corner and cry my eyes whenever a slow song did play, that’s another bad habit I have unfortunately!

Before we decided to leave, I watched Brandon and all of the frat boys do this drinking game and I’m going by memory here called “Thunderstuck” I’m still not entirely sure what it is. Well dad almost did it but Blondie and mom talked him out of it. He was mostly around the groomsmen/frat boys the whole night so they had many drinks with him! He even hollered at Patty to give him a beer as he was doing the father/daughter dance. Blondie was livid! After this was over, mom and Blondie got started on cleaning and throwing things away, we were the first to leave in the actual party. Honestly, I could have lasted another hour, but not my body! The next day my dad and I were hurting in places that we forgot hurts a lot and again, I could have went out and danced again!

I had a lot of fun writing each post! I had never experienced any of the planning for a wedding before so I thought it was fun to blog about, I still wish I was more of a help in the process so it wouldn’t just been Blondie and Brandon dealing with everything. I wanted to experience the real chores of a maid of honor for her and I wasn’t able to do that. So I hope you all have enjoyed this posts!

 

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First Year Anniversary!

Today is the day a year ago I started up this blog. This is going to sound cheesy, but I didn’t know what I was doing at the time and I was asking two people who had this type of blog and probably drive them crazy the first four days until I started doing everything on my own. I started posting something everyday. I went from operating one blog to two, then back down to one. This is my primary blog. At first, I wanted to do a personal blog about my life and everything that goes with it. Several months ago, I noticed my music reviews of different albums were getting more views than my other posts. So I am a personal and music blogger. I love being a blogger and tell my crazy stories about my daily life. I think it gives everybody another perspective to their lives and others on what they have to go through. I hope you as a reader, keep reading my mistakes, flaws, and imperfections. Thanks for the “likes” and comments you leave behind. They’re good self-esteem boosters for me. So thank you for that!

Be Original, Don’t Die A Copy

Being yourself is hard work. Especially if you don’t even know yourself. If you’re like me, you have lots and lots of insecurities. I have way too many of them. I hardly have confidence in myself and my emotions get trapped inside to the point where some nasty thoughts errupt. You can’t be yourself and follow others at the same. I wish I knew that in school. Everybody wanted me to be a certain way and I down right hated it. Yet I didn’t know how I would act if I had to choice anyways. I would second guess myself and let people get the best of me. I hated everytime somebody told me I couldn’t do something. I mean, how do they know how to do things? I gave up a lot of things for my insecurities. Who knew feeling like a failure would suck so much?

Recently I’ve discovered something. A bit of confidence I guess you could say. Several months ago I changed my Twitter username back to @gotmeghan, after it was something random, but sweet. The reason why I liked it so much is because I’m like a small brand. I use it for most of my URL’s. Twitter and this blog. Then I changed my name on Twitter. I didn’t want my last name on their and I wanted my nickname and actual name so I combined them. I put “Meg(z)han” as my full name. I liked it and it was exactly what I wanted. It was original and nobody had it, that I know of. So now I’ve got a second brand. My signature on my phone is that and my Facebook Page is no longer “Got Meghan’s Blog” it is now “Meg(z)han’s Blog.” I can’t change my URL on here because of the “(z)” part.

Considered A Life Blog

I have considered making another blog talking about only my life and the stories I have inside. My great aunt wanted my nana and I to write a book based on my life, but to be honest I’ve kind of hated the idiot. My nana liked it of course and started on it, but everytime she would ask me about certain times I would remember it well and tell her about it. She had several pages from the start of my life, but on how she wanted to do it wasn’t what I wanted. She and my aunt already wanted to give it the title “Faith Is All You Need.” No offense or anything, but I hardly have faith in myself and if it’s about me. I’d like it to be from my mouth. Yeah, I didn’t remember myself as a baby, but I have hundreds or more memories stuck in my brain that they need to be let out.

I’ve been thinking about this for a few nights now. How I was going to design the theme and create it how I want it to be. It won’t be so much about reviews and stuff like that. Which I don’t mind doing stuff like that. I think I would do a few stories on there that reflect me. I just don’t want to start another blog about my life and kind of leave this one behind. I have readers on this one that I actually like my stuff which is so nice, but since I’ve been thinking more I’ve thought about letting my memories flow out and it’s time to set me free from anything I’ve felt in the past. I think it would be good for me to do. I don’t like I’d let my family follow it because it would be stories of my life that’s somewhat hard to express. I already have trouble speaking about certain things and not worried about being judged about it.

If You Lose Something, You Gain Something Better…Or Something Like That.

I was talking to one of the girls I went to school with on Facebook message yesterday. When we were in high school, she was a Senior when I was Freshman. She was one of the dancers on the school’s dance team and she had long hair, and I mean it was long. I hadn’t talk to her in awhile, she’d comment on a few of my statuses on Facebook but we’d never really talk talked. She and I were talking about her life in Germany, and we got on the descussion about college. I told her about my story about quitting school and how I hated online classes with a passion.

Before talking about that with her or anybody else. I talked it over with my nana. She was my own therapiest and she didn’t charge. The day she starts charging me is the day I’ll have to get a real therapiest. Before I started making the descision of quitting school I was getting really depressed with myself and other things around me. Anywhere I went I’d still feel so lost in what I was doing. I was taking online classes and felt no motivitation whatsoever. I didn’t thnk I had anybody on my side. Although, some people did show how they cared I think I ignored them. I say to people I was depressed for three months, but I was wrong. I was depressed from August to middle of November. I made the decision to quit in early October but still had despressing feelings throughout the whole month and going into November.

I’ve felt like I was a failure to my family. Nothing could get me into my old self and happy again. I was so down into this hole as I could go. I’d never been down that far. The sleepless nights and trying to keep my cries quiet from everybody else who slept in the rest of the house. Music wasn’t even helping. I bought Linkin Park’s new album at the time, and pretty well used their songs “Iridescent” and “Shadow Of The Day” as my sad songs at night and cried to them. Once I was at my cousin’s house for a sleep over. I fell asleep on early like always, and I woke up early and just felt myself crawl back into my hole again. I remember myself sitting in their kitchen thinking to myself about things I shouldn’t had been thinking about. It seemed like everytime I talked about it or thought about it I’d get worse.

Somewhere in December things started to perk up. Things were different and it wasn’t so bad as it was. I kept myself going and thought about other things besides how the past few months went and my talks with my nana were getting into better and healthier conversations, well somewhat. I made a vow to myself that I’d never get myself in a hole that deep again. The more we talked about how far I’d come from the start of August to the end of October I’d feel myself get stronger. However, it wasn’t until last August that I realized that was really healing. When I went to the first home football game I was somewhat upset on how I was being ignored by different kids that I use to talk to all the time. Then when I talked to my old consouler, she asked me about how was college going. I forgot she still didn’t about it yet.

I told her all about it. From all this time of holding back my tears with my nana in the spring. Talking to her made those feelings come back again. I was already slightly depressed about how I couldn’t go out and do things like everybody else. My mother had a job and dad is always doing things. Emily has different things too, I just felt like a burden to them. Then after July came and our family fight exploded and nana was in the hospital. I started to realize why would you want to work? Besides having a pay check. Finding a job or anything else in my shoes is really hard to do. As much as everybody thinks I can take rejection a lot better than people thinks I can. After talking to her though, I started to tell her that I have my family and Twitter friends to lean on and I have a blog to run.

Certain things at the time seem so important to you until then something comes along and either changes it or ruins it. At the time you might think you’re life won’t get better after something like that. I’ve went through four months of heartache and depression. It drove me crazy how I couldn’t get myself better again on my own. Some people use music or talking to people about it. At night I prayed to God to make me realize everything will get better again. Sometimes he has a good sense of humor and works his magic. I’m not saying the chats with my nana didn’t help because they did. I needed her there to release it. I needed music to drive me to get it out and release out on her.

It is November now, not sure when the last day of my depression was but I think I’m close enough. All three of these still help me out on a daily basis but now for different reasons. Running this blog gives me to release it more as well. Talking about it doesn’t hurt me anymore. I hardly want to cry about it either. It’s in the past. We can’t change our past. I couldn’t do a full year of college but that doesn’t make less of a person that I am. You just have accept certain things. Sometimes I accept things quicker than others. Those lucky bastards though! The song I’m listening to right now is one of those songs that help me. It’s called, “Remember Everything” by Five Finger Death Punch. Don’t worry, it’s more of a ballad than like the rest of their songs.