I Need A Bright Colored Sheet.

For the past 24 hours it’s been very eventful. I am very afraid of wasps and bees, but nothing scares me more than a huge ass spider around my bed in the darkness. I’m pretty sure my parents just went to bed and I only wanted to sit up for an hour of so and I was watching Fraiser like always and I was feeling a bit paranoid but it was nothing out of the ordinary for me. My eye got caught on something and I looked a bit closer and there was a middle size (it looked bigger because of the shadow) spider just chilling by my cup. It terrified me but I didn’t scream. Somehow I managed to keep myself calm and I grabbed my TV remote and I had put my foot above it and I just dropped it and I thought that would be enough to kill it. Either I did get him and there’s a whole flock of them just surrounding my bed, waiting to scare the shit out of me. I did good after that, I was brave enough to use my laptop as my guide and in the process of it I had to take over my headphones in case they fell behind my ears. I looked (more like peeked) through my floor and everything around my cup. Nothing. Well, then about five minutes go by, my paranoia comes back and I find one on the corner of my wall by my bed. I grabbed my remote again and then I realized I had made the worst move in the world.

I have a black sheet on my bed. So if a spider is to crawl around on my bed, I can’t see it and so that strike one for me. The second was, that I don’t have a good balance when I go to scoot on the opposites of my bed. So I tried to basically climb over my pillows and kill it. Well, I missed the first time and he ran from me, which wasn’t really smart. I thought I got him the second time, but by the time I had a chance to celebrate I realized about my sheet and the fact that I had fallen down on the rope that helps me sit up by myself. I had to turn myself around quickly and sit up, turn back around and make sure I got him. Well, I didn’t see him. I assumed he had fallen down the corner of my wall. Nope. He started climbing the other side and he was just high enough that I moved over my pillows this time and I flicked my remote to him at a fast pace and both of them fell down the crack between the bed and the wall. While this was all happening, I didn’t once scream (even though I did shout out “son of a bitch!”) out nor did I text my parents for help. However, I do have a saved text message for my dad in case I just couldn’t kill it. I was running out of patience and losing my calmness too. I did post a long status on my Facebook that almost everybody in my family loved and I even sent my sister a tweet that I needed her to kill this thing. Of course, she’s still at school so she wouldn’t be on spider duty until the weekend. This was my first Facebook status.

“Swore I saw on big ass spider by my cup and I did good, I calmed myself and didn’t scream and I grabbed my remote and unhooked my headphones from my laptop. However, when I dropped my remote it disappeared and I just spent about a good five minutes trying to search for it. Still haven’t found it and I don’t want to grab my remote off the floor. Times like these make want Blondie because she would still be awake right now instead of sleeping. I might need some prayers to get me through the night. Lol”

I didn’t plan on actually to go to sleep last night after all that. I was still in full panic mode and I also ran out of weapons to kill anymore spiders. I just curled up into a little ball on the very edge of my bed and just tried to calm myself down. I wasn’t celebrating or anything, I was still pretty sure that the spider is alive and well somewhere around my bed. At 4:30am, my mom came into my room and grabbed my remote from its place from the third round. She told me that my Facebook status was the funniest thing she’s read in a while. She kept laughing at me because I was in full attack mode and I hadn’t even been up for more than three minutes and I’m just talking to her in my high-pitched voice because I was still on a “high” I guess you can call it that. After she left and turned off my light, I went to watch I Love Lucy because I was still trying to decide if I wanted to go back asleep or not. Well, then as I was laying on my back, I saw this shadow of something flying above my legs and my only instinct is to attempt to cover it up with my blanket. Again, forgetting I have a black sheet on my bed. Thank god for the brightness of laptops and cell phones because that’s basically been my life savers for the entire eight hours. I grabbed my phone and began searching through my bed and blanket. I didn’t find anything. A part of me thinks it was my mind trying to play tricks on me or that it found its way out of my blanket. In the mist of all that I sat up and went on my Facebook to update everybody about my second adventure.

“LITERALLY an hour after my mom goes back to bed and I almost fall back asleep, I see something “fly” around my waist area so I quickly covered it with my blanket. My brain is apparently still sleeping because I keep forgetting that I have a black sheet. Looks like I’m staying up because some damn bug is (hopefully) underneath my blanket and my other blanket is on the floor and I’m too chicken to pick it up. I really want to go back to sleep too!”

I’m not going to lie, next time this all happens I’m texting my parents and letting them yell at me for the next ten minutes of trying to kill something that I know is “harmless” and probably “scared of me too” it just needs to be dead. If this means I’m going to hell, then I’m begging to God and asking him if he laughed at me too! I was so glad to go to my nana’s today. I helped her out with a few things. She got this new big CD/DVD zip case, and I had to show her what I do with mine. Plus, I helped her put away the groceries and even did something new for a change. Some of the “life skills” that I should probably know already, I’m actually learning now. I still can’t tie a knot but I have a feeling that’ll be next. The other day when I was with her, she had hurt her elbow and she wasn’t able to do certain things and I wanted a drink. So I had attempt to open the pop can myself. I have long toe nails (I know for some of you that’s gross, so I’m sorry) and I tried to undo it with just my big toe but I couldn’t get it. My nana gave me this little handy-dandy can opener and I used that and it cracked and when I turned it the other way, it undid itself and I was proud of myself! Today I had a big challenge, my nana can’t get her trash bag on the sides of the trash can. So I decided I’d go for it and I challenged the same calmness I had from last night and it took me a bit and it came undone twice, but I finally did it without falling out of my wheelchair. Some good thing happened and then some freaky bad things happened. It’s a Wednesday, it’s supposed to be somewhat chaotic and weird.

Spring’s Paradise #2


“Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.” – Virgil Kraft.

While everybody is talking about Coachella and fun it is to be there, I am having a good time with enjoying what God has created for us. My sister is so good to me! She knows how much I love when she takes pictures of things she goes with her friends at her school. Today, while I went to my nana’s and worked, well in of fairness, we both worked our butts off! We’re slowly running out of things to clean and organize. We have a few more things to do until we can finally say that, but by then something will have to be cleaned again. It’s a never-ending cycle but it’s not really a bad thing! It awakens my cleaning genie inside. It also works my body so like most people go to the gym, I just go to my nana’s and clean different areas of her house and try not to fall out of my wheelchair in the process. Today was a beautiful day regardless of the fact I didn’t get to go outside and visit with the cats, but the temperature was in the mid-70’s and it was the perfect spring, but almost summer weather.

I’ve spending the last probably thirty minutes talking to my sister, Blondie. She is the one who got to enjoy the beautiful spring day. Where she was, it was 77 degrees. She and her friends found this little park and they went exploring! Based on these pictures, it looks like a woods that was affected by the heavy rains we had earlier this week and last week. Nevertheless, the pictures she got are absolutely beautiful! Especially the one I’ve decided to start us off with, the pretty bird, just chilling and if the picture wasn’t so large you’d probably never know that there was even a bird there. He blends in with the background so well, that when I was editing the picture I didn’t want so much that it was take away the look of the picture as a whole, but the bird is in the center of the picture and needs to be recognized. Blondie was lucky to get such a good picture of it there.

1798003_278082795701722_6285833542413201103_nIt’s been a while since I’ve been out just walking in the woods. Actually, I kind of remembered doing it once and freaking out because of all the bugs that came around me. At that time, I was in Girl Scouts and we took a nature walk and we didn’t have a way for me to bring my electric wheelchair along with us, so we kind of improvised and was using a stroller. I think we used that from the time I was like five or six until I was 11 years old. After I had my surgeries, doing anything fun that involved speed wasn’t very ideal and luckily I agreed! Now that it’s spring and years since then, the bugs haven’t come out in full swing! I’ve seen a few flies here and there, but not a lot! In the summer, it’s kind of funny to have one fly around our faces and our dog ChiChi going insane with trying to catch it with her mouth. Not to get too disgusting here, but yes she has ate them in the past! Anyways, just looking at this picture I am thinking in my head, I would never be able to get my wheelchair through that part of the woods with all of the tree limbs down.

I like the mess of the woods. I don’t exactly know why I do, but it’s a beautiful mess! It’s so untamed and calm, until a tree branch breaks because of the imagine weight that plopped on top of it. That’s one of the things that I don’t exactly like about woods. If there wasn’t very many tees around you would be able to kind of see what’s out there and those noises would be less freaky! At least in my head, they would be! I like this little pond and the bright green speck of grass nearby while the rest of the grass is brownish. Speaking of that, when my dad was taking me over to my nana’s I saw this house that has this big Christmas like tree in the middle of their yard. It’s full and large but the ground was just yellow. Not specks of green anywhere in this yard. It looked like somebody had spilled a few buckets of yellow paint on the grass. It was so weird and neat at the same time! When we got up to the house, my dad groaned about the fact he needs to mow because quote, “the yard looks horrible.” They have a bunch of wild onions growing in the front and back yard. I think it looks fine. I mean, the grass doesn’t look that bad. It’s certainly not yellow or brown. The onions are what bug him the most honestly.


I love this picture. I think the tree looks very interesting, but then again I find almost everything I come into contact with interesting anymore. Something about this time makes me think of the Mad Hatter from the Alice In Wonderland movie. The one with Johnny Depp. His hair was crazy and everywhere. I kind of feel like it was having a bad hair day, even though it’s bald. As you can see none of these trees have leaves on them yet. There are a lot of trees in town that still don’t have leaves yet. One of my nana’s bushes in the “side” yard has very small leaves. I noticed them when my dad was pushing me up the ramp to go inside the house. On Friday, when I posted those other pictures of my neighborhood, the picture of the tree branches everywhere. What I was really trying to get was all three of them and hopefully get a clear look at the middle one, because it has small leaves growing on it but the other two don’t. I just noticed that in this picture, in the background there are a couple of trees there that have bloomed early this year. They’re early birds!

I feel very lucky to feel at ease with the nature and the new season. I have always loved looking outside my windows during long car rides and just sit and wonder about what’s out there. I love looking at pictures of woods and wondering about how old the trees really are and just feel the calmness of the area as a whole. Maybe my body and mind is embraced part of my Native American heritage as I get older. I’m certainly feeling something that’s for sure! It’s kind of like when an artist or somebody viewing an artist’s artwork. Others can look at it and see nothing special about it and think it’s weird. People like me, who are artists, we tend to see things in different ways. We create things in different ways as well. Looking at a photo of something like a tree or drawing anything with full structure is complicated to explain about how you can see it. We as artists also have a difficult time accepting beauty of our artwork. I’m sure photographers have the same problem as if we look at a picture and say to ourselves, “well, it’s good, but is it enough? Will people understand it?” When I do my artwork I constantly ask myself these questions. By the time you’ve finished with your product that thought is still there, but sometimes your mind says to you, “why do you care about what others think of it?” It’s all about the perspective of the finished product. Everybody has their own idea. It’s a good thing when others don’t exactly get what you’re doing. It usually just want to see more. That’s why I constantly look out my window and look at the trees passing by. I want more.