July Playlist + Life Update

Howdy!

Today is the last day of a crazy ass month for me! I will explain a little bit of what’s going on in a bit, but I need to do the rest of this post first.

For this month’s playlist, the song list itself is rather shorter than the others because for two weeks straight I did not use my Spotify or iPod! The only music I was listening to was what was on my various stations on TV. However, because of that I think the regular top 10 playlist is pretty varied with the different genres; as I’ve discussed in previous posts I have been itching myself back into hip hop music, and surprisingly haven’t listened to a lot of heavy metal lately.

Here are the top songs of July!

Gemini Feed by Banks
I Like It by Cardi B & Big Bunny featuring J. Balvin
Cruel World by Sam Tinnesz
Dinero by Jennifer Lopez, Cardi B, and DJ Khaled
Green Gucci Suit by Rick Ross featuring Future
Lost Boy by Ruth B
Heal by Ellie Goulding
Dreams by The Game
Glory by The Score
All Time Low by Jon Bellion
The Switch Up by Nick Grant
Queendom by AURORA
Watch Me Shine by Joanna Pacitti
Love Lies by Khalid featuring Normani
Solitaire by Gucci Mane featuring Migos & Lil Vachty
Rats by Ghost

The whole playlist is a wide mix of new and old favorites and there’s a lot of Cardi B on it, but I’ve been really into her music recently so everytime I hear one of her songs playing, I just go ahead and listen to it! If you want to check out the rest, you can go to my Spotify playlist here.

Before I continue on by sharing the album reviews, I think I should explain why there wasn’t any posts last week, yesterday, Thursday, or for a while. I was advised to write this out like a free write by Toni of Reclaiming Your Future, and the only way I knew I would be able to get almost everything out, was including it into my monthly playlist. Toni has suffered from depression, she actively talks about her struggles on her site and on Facebook. If you have also dealt with depression, I really recommend checking out her articles and signing up for her newsletter!

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I don’t think this is a burn out because I have ideas constantly coming at me day and night, but I’ve been dealing with some serious demons and I’ve just let myself go and stopped pretty much everything.

As I’ve mentioned along with my review for the book Me Before You by JoJo Moyes, I have suffered with bouts of depression throughout my life and at the end of June, I finally went to the doctor to start on anti-depressants. It’s a very difficult decision to do this, because as a person with a disability, you want to deal with things on your own, it doesn’t matter if it’s physical or mental apparently, and I’ve had many spells where I’ve felt like everybody, my family and even you, my readers could do better without me. I didn’t want to take a little pill every day, thinking it’s going to take away my pain. I’ve dealt with it for probably 13 years, and I just think it’s embedded into my DNA so it’ll never go away.

For the whole month of July, I was in yet another deep depression spell. I kept telling my family that I didn’t feel good, which wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t like a stomach bug (although that did hit me towards the end!), it was just my own mind controlling my energy to the point where I slept all day long and was up at night sometimes. My parents have called me both “Evita” and “vampire” for the past several months but I think I earned those nicknames after this crap.

To help show you how much this has basically taken over me; since I do most of my work on the posts a month in advance, the post that was supposed to go up after Becoming An Auntie was a late edition and I worked on that July 5th! After that, I hardly sat up longer than a look around on Facebook and Twitter, before lying back down, getting underneath the covers, and watching nature documentaries of Netflix! I was like this for a good three weeks, before it broke and I had two days where I was perfectly fine and that was last Monday and Tuesday. If you’re wondering what day I wrote this post: four days before it went up and that’s not like me to leave a post with an easy theme like music to have ready and scheduled in that time frame, but I was such a zombie that there was no way in hell I was going to even get the top part to seem readable as I’m going through everything.

Now I’ve hit the five weeks mark and I feel that maybe the spell is dying down a little bit, but I just don’t believe that it’s going to keep away those negative thoughts completely and honestly that scares me. If you’re wondering what’s caused this, do not ask, I’m not comfortable talking about it just yet.

So, now you know what’s been going on. Whenever I decide to come back, even if it’s only to do album reviews or short stories, don’t expect me at the top of my game. Now finally here are the previous album reviews I put up for the month!

Liberation by Christina Aguilera | New Blood by Yellow Claw | Beautifully Broken by Plumb

What were you listening to during July?

Album Review: “Beautifully Broken” by Plumb

It’s crazy to think that it’s been roughly three years since singer Plumb released her album Exhale. Now she has a new album called “Beautifully Broken” and I’ve been really excited to hear it, because every once in a while I need something that’s lighthearted and her music is my go-to on those rough days. It all started when she released her album “Need You Now” in 2013, I just love that album so much! They make me feel calm and some even make me happy surprisingly too! So whenever she announces she’s putting out new music, I instantly get excited for it.

We start with the title track “Beautifully Broken” and funny story, when this song and it’s EP came out, I was going to review just that, and I had the whole beginning written up, and then I found out that the whole thing was only the original and four remix versions of that song. So, long story short, I scrapped that post and now I’m thankful I get to talk about the song officially! I really love the playful but gentle piano introduction. She speaks a lot about God in her music, but sometimes it’s not as “out there” as other songs, and I like the fact it’s a neutral in that aspect. I found this, while I was having a rough week and I’ve loved it ever since! Next, we have “Impossible” and this is a lively little track. So loving and fun at the same time! Third is “Crazy About You” and it has an interesting beginning, it’s soft and slow, but you have a standard light, pop beat. I was swaying while listening to it, so that was cool! I really like this, it’s kind of quirky and doesn’t sound anything she’s done in a while.

“I Can Do This” and we have another different vibe going on, but I like the lyrics. They’re relatable to people that suffer from various aliments. I think it’s a very positive, motivational song for anyone who needs it. What I think it is cool though, is that the beat mimics the feeling of the words she’s saying, it’s farce but quiet at the same time. It builds into the moment where you feel like you can say those words “I can do this” too! Really good song! The sixth track is “Somebody Loves You” and the first thing that popped into my head was this may or may not make me cry. It rarely happens, but like I’ve said above, I’ve had having some difficult days lately so a certain beat can instantly turn on the waterworks! I like the fact the beat is secondary, the lyrics are loud and clear and you can see the story of this woman in your head. You don’t need a music video or anything, the words are there. It’s very bittersweet, because even the lyrics themselves are somewhat dark, you feel like she’s speaking directly to you, and saying somebody loves you. To have two songs with similar messages back-to-back is very nice. Why can’t everybody do that too?

 I think she released this song at the beginning of the year, but it’s called “God Help Me” and I’m not very religious, but I do believe in a higher power and of course I pay at night or in the middle of the day, when somebody needs it for emergencies.  I like it, but I don’t love it because of my own reasons. I do enjoy the lyrics and the string section throughout the whole song, so that’s a plus! We move on to “I’m Not Alone” and it has this whimsical/dream vibe going on, I thought it would be only at the introduction but it just continued on. It’s good though! It’s kind of short though, I wanted it to be a little longer! Next there’s “Human” and the lyrics are pretty, but the sound itself is louder, but I don’t exactly hate it for being that way. It definitely has more an alternative rock sound to it.

These are the last three songs of the album, starting with “Fight For You” and we’re back on the playful train. This is such a fun little beat. I instantly had different summertime pictures pop into my head while listening to it, which is weird because it’s not that kind of song, but the beat created those images in my head. The lyrics are so catchy, they’re also caring and sweet. I really enjoy the ukulele outro with Tiffany singing the chorus with just that sound. It just made that summer feeling real for me! “Acrobat” is next and this has a pop oriented sound, but I like the imagery with this one. It’s a nice song to casually listen to. Lastly, we have “Sleepwalking” and I like the fact that this is so slow. I like the soft quality of it, with the piano and violins towards the second verse. It’s just so beautiful!

I really liked this album. I know it’s not very smart to compare albums with each other, but I actually didn’t really like E that much. I think, maybe because I knew it would be more of a Christian music type of album, then a casual alternative pop-rock collection of songs. So to me, this has more of what I liked about NYN and maybe I’ll want to go back to it now and again to re-listen to certain songs, I mean to me, that’s kind of the whole goal to an album.

Have you listened to Plumb’s new record yet? What were your thoughts about it?

Becoming An Auntie

Howdy!

What is it about babies that’s so intoxicating? I know they smell amazing and I’m still shocked that Glade or Yankee Candle hasn’t figured out a way to bottle that stuff up by now, but seriously, why do they have the power to take control of a person so fast?

Whenever my mom takes away Nolan from my bed, after having a time of snuggles, I am so sad, having a little human just laying out on a white fleece blanket is so cute and addicting! He looks so conformable and warm, but he has so much innocence upon his wrinkled face. His strawberry blond hair sticks up on the top of his head, and as he stretches out his arms and legs. At this point in his life, he doesn’t know about my disability. He just knows she likes to do goofy faces and sing to him. You feel mesmerized, and so out of touch with your surroundings because you don’t want to miss out on anything.

On June 12th, my sister went to her last check up to see if she was dilated any more than the day before. This pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park for her. She was pretty miserable throughout the whole thing, and constantly asked my mom and some of her friends, who recently had babies, if they ever experienced this or that. Little man has been wanting to come out of the “bat cave” since April! So when she found that it was time to go to the hospital to get this show on the road, she was nervous but I’m sure kind of excited to finally met him after all this time.

My day started normally, well, actually I didn’t sleep very well the night before so I was actually looking forward to sleeping in that morning. That plan shattered when my Aunt Laurie texted me that Blondie was on her way to the hospital, within five seconds after reading that, my mom called my dad to get dressed. At 10am, we got there to their fairly large room and we sat in our uncomfortable chairs–including my push wheelchair! We sat in there and talked, but the majority of the time everybody was on their phones. I was happy that I decided to bring along a book, because I read the crap out of it in those fourteen hours!

My parents and I went outside a couple times, just to get out of that room for a bit. They went out a lot more than I did though. My dad and I ate down in the cafeteria for lunch, we had to eat a salad because that was the only thing that looked good. Surprisingly, we both enjoyed it, even though we both kept farting through the rest of the day! After we went down to the gift shop and looked around, we got around the little onesies with funny sayings but what got my attention were these booties, we could find IU and Purdue pretty easily, but in the corner of my eye I spotted a navy blue and hoped that they were Butler booties and they were! So, of course, we had to get them for him because he already has a Butler onesie, he needs something to keep his little toes warm too!

She had to have her doctor break her water, she was really afraid of it and at this time, dad had to leave the room (but he left like three separate times because he doesn’t like to his girls cry) and I sat in my chair facing the inside of the bathroom, with tears rolling down my face. I don’t like to hear/see her cry either! Blondie went through nine hours before caving in to get the epidural done and which case, we all had to leave the room. Afterwards, she started to become very relaxed, they gave her a “peanut” which is this inflatable, peanut shaped ball to put in between her legs to help him come down. The epidural worked so well, that her legs were so numb that she had a hard time moving them on her own, and for some odd reason I thought about the time when we went into a hot tub for the first time and how it took three people to get me out because my lower half was asleep!

When she finally reached ten centimeters, my dad and I were forced to leave the room and go wait in their waiting room. My parents are not patient by any means, but I am. I was very proud of myself and how I did sitting in the chair, keeping to my book. As we sat in the waiting room, watching Impractical Jokers on the television. My mom finally texted him that he was here after what felt like an hour. He got stuck coming out and they had some issues, but they were both fine. Once he got that message, we waited outside the door, which was a bad idea for dad because he was already having trouble with his knees.

Little Nolan Wayne was born on June 13th, and weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces and was 21 inches long! I found out that they did name him after Christopher Nolan, who directed The Dark Knight series, but Brandon also said he was named for Nolan Range, I guess he voiced or came up with the character Deadpool. Wayne is actually Brandon’s middle name, but since he’s a big Batman/Bruce Wayne fan, it kind of fits there too!

Once we were finally allowed into the room, it was so surreal.

As we left the room to get ready for the birth, I thought to myself “this is when everything changes. She won’t be just your sister, she’ll be a mommy too.” So to hear this little baby crying outside the room for the first time was weird but amazing. We stayed for a little bit, but we eventually went home and ate our McDonald’s and went to bed. Later that morning, we came back and they were in their new room, and this time Blondie was doing skin to skin with him and I finally got to see his face. Before we went back home, I actually got to hold the little tyke and it was so strange to feel his weight on my belly and the movements of his fingers underneath my lifeless hands.

He just turned a month old last week, so he’s growing stronger and has the face of my dad! He smiles and tends to smirk to anybody that is speaking to him.  He’s chilled out on my bed many times and threw a punch, kicked my stomach and thighs a few times. I like to kiss the top of his head. I just enjoy watching the different facial reactions appear, like his content sigh he makes when he’s comfortable and of course the poop-y expressions. He is just a sweet thing, and I can’t believe I am this little rugrat’s auntie now!

Album Review: “New Blood” by Yellow Claw

Well, back in March, I reviewed Yellow Claw’s new little EP for “Amsterdam Trap House” and I thought that was pretty good, but I wasn’t expecting a whole new album afterwards but I accepted it with open arms though!

Their third album “New Blood” came out on the 22nd of June, and it consists of fifteen songs with various featured singers and other DJs lending samples of beats to collaborate. Now I will admit, there are a lot of people on this, and some that I’ve never heard of before so you’ll have to forgive me there for not having all of my normal pieces of information about them.

So let’s get started on this, because I’m ready to dance on my bed!

We begin this little adventure with “Lost On You” with Phlake. I thought was so pretty! It starts off so slow and what’s interesting is that it never really breaks out of that chill sound, but the tempo does improve a bit towards the choruses. It’s a very romantic song, and for once I actually like it. What’s wrong with me? Second is “Summertime” and San Holo collaborates with the guys for this. I like the mysterious introduction, but I’m always so iffy with a person speaking into a static-y format. I have a hard time figuring out what they’re saying, but I love the beat. That ominous feeling never really goes away, which I enjoyed and I liked the mild build up to the drop, very subtle but keeps it kind of unique for a summertime song really!

Next we have “Both Of Us” with STORi and again, we have this light beginning but since the featured singer has a very mellow voice too, it actually works well. I really like this, because for anyone that likes to listen to EDM on the radio, this is very radio-friendly with kids, the drop isn’t that intense, but the song in general isn’t so heavy that you’re used to hearing in dance music, it’s really good! Fourth is “Villain” with Valentina and I think I’ve heard this before, maybe I’ve played it before the album came out and I’ve forgotten about it, that sounds like something I’d do really! Anywho, it has a mild beat, and I’ve always had an uneasy time with both chill and house music, because at times they can just be so boring, but I don’t want to say this is that by any means, but I just don’t like it as much.

“Crash This Party” with Tabitha Nauser is next and after having a somewhat dull song beforehand, this pretty much makes up for it! It’s so upbeat and dare I say, positive? I really like the drop, and they insert their “Yellow Motherfucking Claw” towards the end of the track, which instantly made me smile, because it’s not a YC song without at least one of their songs having that somewhere in the track! My only complaint is that it’s too short! The other one, as soon as it started it made me jump! I wasn’t expecting that pop in the beginning to “Public Enemy” at all. I actually laughed at myself! Anyways, this has DJ Snake, and you all should know that I love DJ Snake a lot! This doesn’t feature anybody but him, so it’s instrumental and you definitely know I love those the most! This is just the greatest, I can’t describe it any better than that. I have to find the live version of this, because I can imagine crowds going absolutely crazy for this!

We move on to, “Fake Chanel” with A$AP Ferg and Creek Boyz. I actually remember listening to this when it came out as a single and I loved it instantly! It’s so interesting how I will listen to rappers that appear on EDM music a lot better than rap music in general. I don’t know how that works either! I really love the beat to this, it’s so sharp and different. The drop is insane! After that banger, we go into “Attention” with Chase and Kalibwoy, which as soon as it started, I thought, “oh yay, this will be softer”. Well, I was half right with that expectation! It is mysterious but I was really intrigued with the second voice, he completely changed the vibe that I originally had going, so that was cool! This, as a whole, is a very different track and I love it!

We have “Bittersweet” featuring Sofia Reyes, who has this sweet little voice and I like the fact that the beat itself doesn’t overpower her. It’s a good song! “To The Max” is next and this has a number of people on it, but the only one that I know is Bok Nero. The others are MC Kekel, Lil Debbie, and MC Gustta. This is good, with a nice simple beat and you have like mixture of voices, but it’s not the best. I also think this was the longest one on the album too. I don’t know I really feel about that so we’re going to move onto “Down On Love” with Moski and Yade Lauren, which I know Yade was featured on another of YC’s songs, “Love & War”. This is pretty mellow, but I like it, at least this has an interesting beat and the singer has gorgeous voice.

We’re almost done. I know, even I’m a little sad about that! There’s “I’ll Be Fine” with Kelsey Gill and she sounds like Zara Larsson! I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it was the first that I thought of when the song started playing. This is pretty good, nothing about it is too much, it could get good radio play on pop oriented stations, so that’s a plus! And we have “Waiting” that has Rochelle in it, and she’s also been a guest on their songs before. I really like the dreamy vibe I got while listening to it. It does have the standard build up and the bass drop is really good, but I liked the original beat better. Surprisingly, I don’t think it needed all of that other stuff, even if they had turned it down. I know I’m starting to scare myself now! Lastly, we have “Another Life” with STORi again. I really like the usage of the piano, it gave it a sense of elegance. The beat is really simple, and we finish in the same way we started, so it’s kind of perfect.

I was kind of impressed with this. I figured since they released an album in the summer, it would sound pretty summer-y in the process, but I never got that vibe as I continued to listen to the songs. You have a good mesh of the heavy bangers that every EDM loves, but if you are in the mood for something softer, then you definitely a few to choose from, so it’s a good batch of music.

Have you listened to Yellow Claw’s new album, “New Blood” yet? What did you think? Do you have any favorite(s)?

Album Review: “Liberation” by Christina Aguilera

Today, we’re going to be talking about Christina Aguilera’s new album “Liberation” and I have been looking forward to this since before she had her daughter Summer back in 2014. Her last album “Lotus” came out in 2012 so it’s been a good six years since she’s put out a good batch of songs so I was more than ready to see this pop up on my Spotify on June 15th!

Let’s get into this, shall we?

One of the things I’ve really enjoyed about listening Christina’s music, especially her albums is how she tells a story within each song, including little introductions that go with the next track. So when the album begins, you have the title track “Liberation” and all it is, is a very elegant, orchestral and you hear a happy little child in the background with it. It’s very mysterious but gentle too. Next is “Searching For Maria” and this is a great example to the real beginning to the song that starts afterwards. Again, it’s only a snippet of Christina’s voice in the softest quality. Finally, the albums starts with “Maria” and it has a sweet, string introduction but then turns into this sharp hip hop beat, which is really good. I like it!

Fourth is “Sick Of Sittin'” and I really liked it, but at first I was little weirded out on how it sounded, because it reminded me something that we’d hear from Joss Stone, not Xtina! However, I thought this was a different song and I actually like it. Next is “Dreamers” which is another introduction to “Fall In Line” but firstly we have to discuss how cute but powerful hearing those girls, in various ages, say what they wanted to be when they grew up and I thought was such a touching reminder to put in front of a popular song that “Fall In Line” has turned into, because you have both Christina Aguilera and Demi Lovato! They’re telling other little girls to not fall in line with what other people expect them to be. Personally, I don’t like the song, it starts off good, but towards the end, having both of their voices at full blast is kind of annoying.

As we discussed the musical direction of “Sick Of Sittin” when have “Right Moves” and it also has a different route than we’re used to hearing from her. This definitely has a smooth, slow Caribbean beat. You can dance to it, more like sway but still it’s good. This features both Keida and Shenseea too. Next there’s “Like I Do” and this has GoldLink in it. When I first listened to this song when it came out, I didn’t really like it and now as I am hearing it again, I still don’t know what I think of it. A part of me thought the beat is so chill that it doesn’t really mesh with GoldLink. I feel like he wasn’t needed for it, but I do think Christina’s vocals are okay, but I still don’t like the track as a whole.

The ninth track is “Deserve” and when this first started, I thought to myself, is this going to be dance beat? I was a little disappointed when I was wrong, but I do love the lyrics though so that made up for that. Afterwards, we have “Twice” which came out probably four days after the first single, and I absolutely love this one. I like the acapella beginning and the piano, it’s beautiful and raw.

Now she has also an interlude on this album, and it’s titled “I Don’t Need It Anymore” and I was fairly curious on what we would hear on this. The track is of her and her background singers, singing acapella and it’s so dreamy! I really wish it was longer, I had an issue with another of her many interludes on her Back To Basics album in 2007.

Her first single was “Accelerate” and it features both Ty Dolla $ign and 2 Chainz. I like the beat and I’m perfectly fine with the sexual messages mentioned in it, because if you call yourself a hardcore Xtina fan but yet you hate it when she talks about sex, you’re not a real fan! Sorry not sorry! I will say, I didn’t like either rapper on it. Whoever’s on the chorus with her, did a bad job! His voice cracked and it just sounds weird. “Pipe” is afterwards and it has XNDA I figured once we’d get through the interlude, we would see the sexy songs of the album, but I do like this one. I like the sultry, but chill tone of the track.

The final two songs of the album begins with “Masochist” and I’m not going to lie, but I had to look up what this word was, because I didn’t know it. So thanks to Google I now know that it means, “a person who derives sexual or other gratification from their own pain or humiliation.” After reading the definition, and begin to really listen to the lyrics, everything started on make a little sense to me. The beat itself is very light and sweet, despite the direction you take the meaning of the lyrics. And lastly, we have “Unless It’s With You” and I really liked the soft piano introduction. I really enjoy hearing a singer’s voice, especially ones like Christina Aguilera. She has such a large range, but here she is, in the smallest quantity. It’s so pretty!

I have to say I’ve actually only loved one of her albums straight through and that is “Lotus” so in a way, I knew there would be a 50/50 chance that would actually happen again. Overall, the album is good. There’s not a lot of heavy hitters, but I liked the many different musical changes she went through, but it’s not that bad, I just know how I am whenever I listen to her music, and unfortunately I don’t think that part will ever change about me.

Have you listened to Christina Aguilera’s new album “Liberation” yet? What did you think about it?