I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers Hannah Gale the other day! I had just started her new vlog of that week and I had heard her say something that sort of inspired me to kick my depression bug to the curb. She was in her car and if I remember correctly she was describing her morning and mentioned that she wasn’t the best version of yourself and somehow those four words started to echo within me. So I decided to go with my gut and write about it!
What’s the best version of yourself? It’s not an easy question is it? And if it is, you’re not looking hard enough into yourself to find who you are!
I found it hilarious that on the day I watched this video was on the same exact week I saw a “self-love” thingy on Pinterest and almost deleted my account! When you’re depressed you don’t want to hear other people motivations to get out of a slump, to you, it feels good to lounge around and be miserable all day long. At least I tend to feel like that on a suck-y week, but it doesn’t answer the question does it?
What is the best version of myself?
Well, I am usually the positive one. I am good at distractions, if there is sadness in a room I try my best to get everybody back into a good mood. I’ve grown into this role; in ways it was better to put myself there than regret ever asking to be there in the first place.
I like to talk – although at times my mouth tends to move faster than my brain and everything just jumbles together and I mess up, sometimes I even forget what I was saying! You all should be happy I only blog for the time being because I am even afraid to hear myself do that on YouTube!
I love challenges! I think I have more fun when people provoke me to do something, or think I can’t do it and they end up being wrong in the end. I love learning new things and frequently those types of challenges come from myself because I am not around a lot of people and my family has learned over the years that if they do say I can’t do something, I always end winning them over! So now they don’t say anything!
I fight for the children living with known and not discovered physical conditions. I don’t see to fix the world for my own benefits. It’s the ones that are learning about the world after they’ve heard from doctors, teachers, fellow family members and schoolmates tell them they’re not going to be able to have a decent life! They can and you’re seen it from me and the other disabled people that refuse to let the stereotype of what a handicapped person looks and acts like define them!
I am all ethnics! Well, maybe not all, but I know I am damn near close! I am Dutch, Irish, and German on my material side. We’re still unsure about my paternal side, but it’ll be a lot of interesting nations in this world. We claim a different “Miss Universe” every year when everyone is a part of the same universe in their DNA! And yet, we have wars in different countries and refugees are being banned from ever seeing freedom!
I am a kid at heart! I never grew out of Disney and I hope I never do! As much as I don’t believe love at first sight, it doesn’t mean that I don’t fall in love with the old fashion Disney princesses seeing their future love on the first day they meet! I still watch Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? I definitely believe Daphne and Fred were dating throughout the time of the show and Shaggy was high on either LSD or pot considering he had the munchies and his dog talked–maybe the entire gang did drugs! Anyways, I still watch certain shows that I shouldn’t, but then again you should have seen the other shows I watched as a teenager after hooking up cable to my TV!
I love to hate art. However, it’s not art that I really hate, I honestly like it. I hate drawing but most recently I enjoy painting! I really prefer oil paintings rather than watercolors. I want something solid that’s going to stay on the paper (good or bad) and not going to look like it could fade away after a few decades! I’ve started to seek other forms of art now as I get older and thanks to blogging too; photography has been an interesting medium to get into in the last four years!
I am a history buff. I am really bad! It started with finding that Egyptian book while in second grade! My mind has been fuzzy, but I think on the cover were the pyramids at Giza. It wasn’t until a few years later that I was told about what Ramsay did to the Hebrews. Now historians say that the people that built the monuments and pyramids were kept well and had to! You do what you want with that piece of information, but I’ll believe what I want.
So what is the best version of myself in the things I’ve just talked about? Thankfully, I think every part of them is the best. They keep me exciting and different from the average person!
I know I tend to list myself as a “disabled person” but I really am so much more! I am fairly open about everything about myself, but I do feel weird at times and feel like I should have people laughing and snaring at me, but I don’t and it makes me feel insecure that I am like everybody else, which is something that I’ve been striving to be since I was a child. Maybe I’ll finally embrace these characteristics and truly love myself for it.
Now it’s your turn, what is the best version of yourself?