A few weeks ago, while I was out with my parents. I mentioned in the blog post for it that the drive was boring. I think I wrote that sentence wrong, because there wasn’t anything bad about it. I mean, I did have my music on, the surrounding areas us in the car were pretty interesting. There was a part at the beginning of the drive that kind of made me think, like in a deep way.
Every once in a while, my dad will show his true colors. What he is truly thinking about at that moment. Usually, he’s had a few beers before he decides to let anyone know about them, but this time he was nice and sober. We stopped at a small gas station just before heading out of town. Past the driveway into the building, there’s a nice, light quiet pink building. A couple of years ago, it was turned into a small diner but I doubt it made it a year. It’s been empty for a while. Anyways, we past it on our way out and all of a sudden my dad says, “that’s what we need Meggie.” My nickname with my dad is Meggie Pooh. It’s one that I hate but I still allow him to use every once in a while. While he was busy driving I kind of gave him a look. I mean, I didn’t know if he was being serious. He’s voiced his opinions on opening up a restaurant many times before, but nothing’s ever been done about making things come true.
He was busy looking at the road in front of him, literally! He started throwing things like if he opened up a shop (later on I figured out he was talking about a car repair shop) and a restaurant. That was the first time I’ve ever heard him talk about getting a shop fixing on cars, but I could see it because he’s helped out his buddies and their vehicles for years! A few months ago, my mom’s battery went out in hers and instead of going to somebody else to work on it. He and some of our neighbors worked on it for probably 12 hours or so. He’s even gone as far as went and helped out a buddy of his at his shop for a few weeks! Now about opening up a restaurant part, my dad has said once that he’d “never” make anything for a big crowd, making it for family and friends were good enough for him. Now I’m starting to wonder if it is?
What got me the most was that I think he wanted to combine it all. He said something about having me working there, answering the phone and taking orders. I thought that was pretty sweet of him to think about while telling me this, but later on while we were going the spice and cake aisles at Wal-Mart of how much I’d want to cook/bake. I swear if I could reach the counter tops I would definitely like to bake. That’s what is basically holding me back is not being able to reach anything. My dad has lots of dreams that he apparently wants to accomplish one day. Something else that he really wants to do is fix our house; make it bigger and more handicap accessible for me.
My dad’s a very handy man; he used to work construction before he had to give it up because of his back. He’s also a male, so he’s very stubborn and doesn’t favor in stopping completely. That’s why he still lifts heavy things when he knows he shouldn’t. He likes fixing things and cooking a lot. Of course, cooking doesn’t have a lot of heavy lifting involve unless it’s a big bucket of sauce or a whole hog. I think he’ll still try to find a way to get it all done.
I’m always wondering about him, scratch that, we’re all worried about him at times. Because he’ll basically push himself sometimes past his limits. He has his good and bad days, but we all do one way or another. I feel like some days we use each other as our “inspirations” for a lack of a better term to describe our traits. Because whenever I’m in pain, it can be both intense and not so intense pain and I will not take any medicine. I was just talking about this during a chat on Twitter that he gets a little bit frustrated with me whenever I refuse medicine to help my pain. Here’s why though, I know if I have the right distractions I will forget about it. Now if its cramps related I’ll shallow my pride and take the damn things! I’m not the one to stop what I’m doing and rest. I’ve never been like that and I’ll say I had some help figuring this out from him because he is the same way! If he is in pain, even though he’s never been that vocal about what number of a 0-10 scale how much pain he’s in, there’s a chance he’ll take his medicine but he won’t stop and rest for a long period of time. We’re both the same as far as pushing ourselves past our limits.
I also have a feeling on certain times in his life, that he’s had to use me as his inspiration to get him through it. As much as I hate that word, I have been used as examples for strong physical pain and what kind of life message I try to share with others. I’m pretty sure everybody in my family has used me in some kind of matter in their lives. Being a person with a disability, people generally think of you having lots of strength to get through each day. This is something I get told a lot while I’m out in public. They say they admire me and what I can do. Something that I’ve learned is that I’ve just adapted to the things that I could do. I’ve been using my feet to do things since I was about three years old. I wasn’t built to walk on my feet, so the next best logical answer was the electric wheelchair which I happened to get at age four. After I had my back surgeries, not only did we have to find other ways to lift me but I also lost ways to do things, like getting on and off my bed and the couches. Even though I couldn’t do those things anymore we learned how to transfer successfully! Of course only one person will do it in our house, but at least I know I can do it and it doesn’t hurt me or anybody else. What’s all that really matter to me.
My dad has never read my blog before. He’s seen it, well in parts! I’ve never let him read one of my posts, especially my more personal ones. It’s mainly because he doesn’t use the internet like we do. Recently he did pull a good one; he came into my room one night talking about a lot of weird things. He came in asking about his FFDP CD I burned for him and he has expressed only a couple of times about if he should make a Facebook profile. He asked me in a serious tone and I laughed at him because he wouldn’t like it. He’d barely use it I think. Whenever he goes to borrow my laptop, I have to close the tabs he’s used because he doesn’t exactly know how to do it all. He’s got his adorable moments! He’s even gone as far to saying he wanted a Twitter account. If he made one I’d have to block him or hid myself for a few months until I knew he would be able to handle everything that I retweet and the blog chats that I join during the week in general. I think of anything, he’d be annoyed with both sites and ask one of us to delete his profile. That’s my opinion on it.