Last night, I had a fun time just hanging out on our back porch while our flock of cats. This was my second visit I did sitting on my butt. After the first time, I told myself not to be in such a rush getting out there because then I’ll be miserable trying to catch my breath and I’ll really be hurting in my back and hip areas. This time I grabbed my phone and proceeded to “jog” my way out of the house. I didn’t force myself to go faster and now that I knew how far the door opens I know where I need to be, but this time our cat Oliver wanted to come out with me. He’s been wanting to spend a lot of time with me lately. I don’t know why but he’s been sitting on my laptop while I eat and laying on my Transformers blanket. Usually anytime I go outside I’m in one of the wheelchairs but I’m always taller than them and can easier miss my limit and fall out so my mom suggested this and we’ve been doing it ever since. It’s nice be at the same level as the bigger cats like Bootsie, Midget, Grumpy and Wren. I think the babies though are a lot better with me being at their level, I’m less scary to them. This seemed to be true after I got to spent time with Grumpy’s twin, Stormy. She let me pet and take pictures of her. We are in the process of sailing the babies even though I’m pretty sure my dad wants to keep Kelso, as we had someone looking at them and he yelled out to my mom, to sale the females first! Kelso is our only male.
While I was sitting outside, the cats that were on the porch were basically ignoring the crap out of me and passed out. I feel bad for them because I wasn’t the only one getting bit by these damn mosquitos, so were they! Little Stormy was obviously not happy about them being around her ears. She had to change her position about three times just to get comfortable and get them to leave her alone. I spent my time taking pictures and comparing Grumpy to Stormy. They do look like twins. If it wasn’t for their size difference you’d think they were in the same litter. I had my hair in a ponytail and I had some of my bangs hanging down in my eyes and I had hoped the corner of my eyes was just from my hair but unfortunately it wasn’t. A mosquito had gotten me right by my eye and of course you can’t put itch cream on that part so I had to deal with it. Thankfully I can’t reach up there or it would have been a real problem. I thought once I was ready for bed, it would just drive me nuts but by the time I went to bed my mom said you could hardly see it. Oh, everybody knows that I love sunsets. I love taking pictures of it at least! Well, I figured out how to get the tall trees with my phone. Who says if you take pictures with your feet you can’t get the top? I’m pretty proud of myself and I even took a selfie but I will not share that on here. I look okay, but this post isn’t about my looks. Just the cats and great outdoors!
During my senior year of high school, I was in the mood to get my first ever tattoo. I was looking at everybody else’s and was just envious, but when different family members were getting their tattoos and piercings I was very scared and nervous of the pain. I have been through different types of pain, but I didn’t know how my body would react to them. I can say I can deal with medium size pain, but any girl will tell you during your time of the month, that pain needs to be under control or it’s unbearable to get through. It’s been five years since the first thoughts of wanting one of each has come to me. After my trouble with my earrings my family doesn’t make fun of me anymore of getting anything that has to do with pain. On occasions I do change my mind and want one, but on good days I think of something that’s very different from just your normal tattoo and piercings. To get through this, we have to go back to a time where my body was inserted with something new and sewed back together afterwards.
On Monday, I went to my nana’s to eat, visit, and clean part of her office space. It ended up being her cleaning most of it instead. All I did was put her CD cases back into a part and that was basically it for me. In the mist of cleaning, she found the mother load of pictures, including some interesting ones of me and my old high school crushes. I’ll save you the misery of hearing about that part but there were some pictures she found that I actually remember somebody taking. It couldn’t have been a couple of months after I had my back surgeries. We were living with my grandparents at that time and my immune system was out of sorts! I was probably just starting to move around a lot better at this point but hurting and certain parts were very sensitive! When you have any type of scars, if you have a lot of bones around that scar, everything in that area is so touchy. Like a simple back rub was literally the worst thing I could have gotten from a kind person! It was awful! What was worse though, that everything in my back was in pain. Everything was just trying to heal I know but between the middle of both scars itching like crazy and my ribs were giving me trouble, they were sore and it was mostly the other untouched side that was giving me the most trouble!
I’ve been thinking about it over the years, in a way I don’t need a tattoo or a piercing. I have both already! They’re both unique and will (hopefully) be permanent and so I think it’s kind of strange that I’ve always wanted one but to realize I’ve kind of have them and think about a pin on my Bucket List pinterest board, tattoo all of my scars. My piercings are on my spine. I had three surgeries, one to have the metal halo screwed into my head, side surgery to take out one of my ribs and cartilage in between my spine and of course, making my back straighter by using a titanium rod and metal screws in my hips. We all have outlooks of different things and it might be my fear of adding another level of pain onto my body, but I kind of think I figured out how to love my surgery scars. For a normal person, your scars from a surgery are ugly to you and people always ask you about them, right? Well, mine are in places that are easily disguised and I still like showing them off. Funny thing is, I always have! People’s reactions are almost about the same as when they see my artwork. They can’t believe how I could get through it but I did. Both scars are huge. My side scar goes up from around my right shoulder and curves downward to the side of my hip. It’s bit hard to explain. The back scar is straight down from the top of my back down to my tailbone. Don’t believe me, well here’s your proof. Don’t believe the trend of covering up your scars with ink. Let them shine and you’ll learn to love them and maybe yourself for your imperfections!