Dear Myself At Age 52

dearmeDear My 52-year-old Self

Writing to myself from the past was a lot easier, because getting started was easy. I’ve got too many questions that I like to be answered, but since there’s not time travel yet, I’m stuck with wondering about what our lives are like down the line. You are 52 years old, that’s a good age to be, I guess! Like I said I’ve got some wonders but also some worries to talk to you about and I hope you understand the reason why I want them answered so much. So let’s get started with them.

Here I am in my early twenties, sitting on my bed, listening to the band Nightwish. Do you remember them? You used to sing their songs all the time. You got into them when the Anette Olzon came on the scene and you were present when Floor Jensen took her place. You’re a fan of their first singer, Tarja. Have you seen any of them in concert? Has the music scene changed much? Has Disco come back in style? Have you gotten out of your comfort zone and sang on stage again? I have had dreams of our old high school doing a special program for any choir students to come back and sing in front of the students and staff after a few years we’ve gradated. Did that ever happen? One of my more important questions, is did you ever find the one? Did you get married and have a family? From the time you hit middle school, you constantly dreamt of your future kid(s) births and what their names will be. Is there a Mason Lee in your little family? Did you ever move out on your own like you’ve always wanted to? If not, how did you meet your husband? Please don’t tell me, I’ve known who I was going to marry my whole life.

The worries in my mind are of things I’m scared of getting through. Since you are in your fifties, is Blondie around you? Keeping in eye on you like she always does? Did she get the life you wanted for her if you didn’t get married? How did our grandparents die? How did you get through nana’s passing? Has anybody haunted you? What, you’ve always been the paranoid one, so I have to ask. Especially since practically everybody in our family knows we hate ghosts and stuff like that! Did Amy, Kristi, and Blondie have kids? Do any of them have disabilities? If so, does anybody have your disease? The most important of question of all, how are mom and dad doing? Did dad take his motorcycle to the nursing home with him? Okay, I have to get off these sad questions before I start crying my eyes out. We both know I hate when I do that. Did you finally take everybody’s advice and wrote your memoir? If you did, that only means you either gave up on blogging or they deleted your site. Did you go back to school or did you just stick with writing? Do people still call you an inspiration at your age? If I told you I was content with my life right now, would you agree? You’ve seen what I’ve conquered and gotten to do, is there something or someone wanting for me out there?

Love always,
Meg(z)han.

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