I think I am obsessed with words. I think I always have, but mostly with the words that I can pronounce. I am not the best speller, never have I been one either. Also, whenever I see a word, a long one at that, there’s about a 50% chance that will never be able to say or sound it out. I just freeze up and stumble on myself. Sometimes I look over at people to get some help and they’ll just give me that look and say, “sound it out” trust me that doesn’t help me either. It just makes me want to cry in front of everybody because what might be a simple word to everybody else is a freaking disaster to me. One of those words that I didn’t know how to spell or pronounce when I was little, was this word. There are a lot of ways this word could be spelled wrong with a young person like me who has these issues with learning words. I’m going to be honest, it has been in the past year I have been able to spell it and say it right. It took me two decades but I finally got it!
If you are wondering why my last two banners I’ve had for this blog has included this word on them, is because this word means a lot to me. The definition for perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something, or in simpler terms: a point of view. If you’re talking about art, it means something a little bit different. Anyways, this word means a lot to me because you can look at anything you want and find a different perspective in it. To give you an example, in my life I’ve had to go through some struggles and had obstacles along the way, but I’ve been guided through this life very well and throughout my years of being this way, using my toes to tape instead of my fingers, and doing other things that my sister or anybody for that matter can do has created another perspective in me that I didn’t see before. And I’m being totally honest here too! I have a habit of thinking that I am a burden to people, but lately I’ve realized that the reason why I don’t go out with my friends anymore isn’t any of my friends, parents, or my fault. If you were taking me to the movies, you would have to take a push wheelchair, stuff that in your trunk, carry me into the car, strap me in because I can’t do it myself, and getting out is the same way but backwards. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but if you’re looking at my perspective you can understand my view of everything. Now that I’ve got a learning perspective of how everything works, it doesn’t bother me as much. I still get sad, but I know everybody’s got other friends, their lives, and that’s not our fault; that’s a good thing honestly!
I think we are so in tune with our thinking that we can’t see the other side of our thinking. We think our minds are telling us the truth and we instantly believe it. It’s not always true. I’ve had that trouble too, but lately I’ve noticed that I’m getting better at giving myself some credit. On Saturday, I was trying to sing to this song and it has some pretty big high notes. I’ve been trying to work on my range and I think I’ve been getting better. Before I started noticing the change, I practiced with this song and I would always get some discouraged with it. I would just give up with it. Well, on this day after a few months of not listening to it at all. I tried to sing along with it and those high notes are still an issue, but I’m proud to say that I can do some of them. My breathing is what’s getting me the most. Anyways, after it ended I remember saying out loud, “well that sucked, but I’ll get it.” I didn’t go back to that little depressed shell and instead I just say “I’ll get it.” So the perspective view on this, that I’m choosing to see myself doing better and actually hitting those notes soon. If you give up on something, I think everybody should look at it in a different way beforehand. It could’ve been worse. You can always work at it and make it better. You’re mind is putting lies in your head and you’re believing every word they say. My mind can say whatever it wants, but I can feel it in my heart that I’ll get it one of these days.