Do you remember the first time you said an alternative to a swear word around your family and people in public? I think we all do. My memory of the first time I was obsessed with saying the words “darn” and “dang” are still very clear in my head. I remember it was when my mom and nana took us to Walmart and she put me inside the cart and I had to have been like seven or eight years old, maybe 10 but doubtful. Anyways, I think I had accidently said “damn” out in the parking lot and my mom got mad at me and told me that I was allowed to say those words instead, they still meant the same thing, so every time anybody would drop something or just did something random. I would literally “oh dang it!” It has never left my brain. I think it’s hilarious that I was obsessed with these words at such a young age. I had always heard people around me use swear words. It wasn’t something that people hid in my family like some do now, so knowing that little kids younger than 13 are saying words that I would literally get spanked for puzzles me. The first curse word I ever said was apparently “fuck” and I was three years old. According to my mom, I was rolling around the kitchen and I got up towards the fridge and said it over and over again with a huge smile on my face. Even back then I was a little daredevil.
When I was in sixth grade, I was in our computer class and taking notes. I wasn’t supposed to be twisting around in my chair because I just had surgery on my back a year earlier and was still pretty fragile. I was never cleared to do any twisting yet, but I still had to take notes and I’m still trying to figure out how I got the most awkwardest sit in the whole room. Right in the center but the first desk in that part. It was a bitch to get a wheelchair through that small of a space, let alone try to take notes at the same time. Anyways, the word that I was obsessed with then was “crap” and I don’t remember how I would have learned that word other being around my grandparents because they were usually the only ones who really tried to not cuss around us kids. I used to say that word about five times in one day and again even at random times too. I was weird person when I was say these words. My timing was always off somehow. Later on, in seventh grade, my cousin was starting to say real cuss words as that is what everybody was doing too. I remember years before, her word she used to say to her brother/my cousin Chris was “kiss off” and guess who was the little taddle tell? Yup, you guessed it. It was me. In seventh grade, it was no different. Any bad word she said I went and told my aunt or uncle and got her ass in so much trouble, but you want to know who actually got me comfortable enough to start cussing in front of my friends? She did.
During the first weeks of August, my family were over at my nana’s house like every weekend. Well, we were either grabbing Kristi or dropping her off there and my uncle got me very good. So I went to call him a “bastard” for my comeback and I had my dad and his number in the same place. So the text that had my innocently enough burn for my uncle ended up going to my dad instead. My dad does NOT like when my sister and I cuss at all. Back then, majority of us were pretty fine with all of us cussing around one another, but then I did this and I felt like shit but he took it a lot worse than he should have because I put the little “lol” at the end of the text. Ever since, I’m very cautious about what I send to both of them. Even though, I never really cuss anymore. When I was in school, I somehow taught myself to cuss around my friends and certain family members, but to my dad, teachers, and aides I learned to actually turn it off. I hardly ever say cuss words out in public, unless I’m really, really mad or if it’s in a post such as this. In eighth grade, my mom basically banned me from ever saying the f word. So I never said it. Everytime I did say it, I felt horrible. The only time I ever say it is apparently on Twitter now. That’s usually only when I’m venting too.
So do you remember your favorite alternative cuss word? I still say “dang” and “crap” and I love saying “God Bless America” for when I’m really pissed off or freaked out beyond reasoning. What was your first cuss word you said when you were a kid? You can put the first letter if you don’t feel like spelling it. I don’t blame you. What is the one word you will not say?
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