Moved On

When I was a freshman in high school, I was still having little sad spells. I wasn’t happy with my life back then and as much as fun my first year in high school was, meaning all these new boys in three grades higher than you. Everybody can enjoy that part of freshman. I definitely did. There was still parts of that year that I wasn’t happy with and the boys were only a small factor to it. I didn’t think I was very attractive and I remember crying at night, because I had let my thought creep on me and my parents woke up and they talked to me about different stuff concerning it, but before I had brought that up. I had found out about this pageant that I thought was interesting and different. So when they came in that night, that was one of the things that talked to me about and somehow and whatever they said, because I don’t have that good of a memory to remember that part, but it seemed to work its magic on me. I really wanted to do the pageant then, and I had heard that they were documenting it too.

Well, while I was going through my movie channels last night because I couldn’t go to sleep last night. I found Miss You Can Do It pageant on HBO. I had missed majority of it and got to watch the ending. Leave it to me though, to remember that sad night of crying my eyes out over something I couldn’t fix about myself and then I watch these little girls, who were beautiful and they have their own problems and obstacles. I watched thirty minutes probably and bawled my little eyes out again, but it wasn’t for the same thing I was crying about seven years ago. I’m glad that I am recording it over the weekend so I can attempt to watch it and cry all I want. I was doing what I usually do everytime I watch something that has to do with disabled people and kids. Little kids get me the most and it’s mostly because I know what it feels like to be in their shoes. I’m just glad that part of my life is done. I’m not as sad as I used to be, which is good because that means I’ve moved on.

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