I Don’t Know What To Call This One. Sorry!

(from top to bottom) Callie, Henry, Tubby, Rudy, and Gracie. They're Bootsie's first batch of kittens. (:
(from top to bottom) Callie, Henry, Tubby, Rudy, and Gracie. They’re Bootsie’s first batch of kittens. (:

Hello, I have had a slow day.
I haven’t done much of anything sadly. I haven’t even read my book and I actually thought I would finish it today, but I didn’t do it. Oh, well I always have tomorrow. I’ve watched all my shows that I’ve needed to watch because I had a few that I needed to watch. I finally got to finish last week’s episode of Hannibal and I finally have Thursday night planned out. Since The Golden Gods awards will be on that night. The pre show starts at the same time as Hannibal so I decided that I didn’t want to watch it at night, so I’m taping that and watching the pre show. I’m taping the actual awards show though, just in case the power goes out because apparently it’s supposed to storm that night. My mom just had to burst that bubble, but I kind of figured something like that would happen.
I’ve had two little kittens in my room this afternoon. My mom had some trouble finding little Stefano yesterday, but he was easy to find today. She brought him in my room and he wanted to walk around and try to jump down off my bed, but he’s still too small to do that. My mom put him on my chest and he stayed there for a bit, but then he kept sliding down my hands and started leaving little marks on my hands. When my mom put him back on my bed, he started walking around my bed and then he started to come running up to me and literally started crawling up my shirt and hands, which then I now have more scars because of him. Stefano was a turd! My mom had some trouble getting little Ivan from outside, because he kept hissing at her. So when Stefano went back outside, she caught Ivan when he wasn’t looking and scooped him up and brought him inside to me. All he did was spend his time trying to run away from me and sleeping on my blanket. At least he didn’t hiss and growl at me this time around. He did that last night when my mom came in and watched Aly & Mark get their scores. When my mom was changing me, we noticed he was making this face like he was either meowing at her, but he was hissing at her again. I might have myself a protective kitten on my hands. I can deal with that.
I hope everybody had a good day and evening. Tomorrow is Wednesday! I’ve got a new episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit so I’m happy there! So bye!

We Now Have Nine Cats In Our House!

Bootsie's new kitten. Tubby and Ruby have a baby sister (we think!) and mom and Emily already have a name for her, Wren. :)
Bootsie’s new kitten. Tubby and Ruby have a baby sister (we think!) and mom and Emily already have a name for her, Wren. 🙂

Well it is 8pm and it has been another good day. I say “good” only because my stomach hasn’t drove me into the wall. I woke up this morning probably around 4am and my mom got up late for work and although she remembered to take me to the bathroom, she just forgot to give me another drink and also forgot to tell me to go back to bed after she left the room. It was kind of weird because literally after she put me back in my room, I was more awake than I started off being. I stayed up until 9:30am, a little after is when I started forcing myself to try to go back to sleep. That was the worst idea ever! Because when I did get myself to go back to sleep, it was 11am. I officially got up and have been up since 2 in the afternoon. Really? When I got up, my dad was out and so I had my sister get me a new drink and make me a peanut butter sandwich. It was so good too!

When I was up earlier, I was watching Rugrats and I looked ahead on the other Nickelodeon channel and decided to record those two episodes. I also went looking around, and found Cinderella, Peter Pan, and The Lion King. I was in heaven! I taped all three of them. At least, I don’t have to buy the last one before it goes back into the vault in two days. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! I did watch Cinderella in one setting without my right arm falling asleep on me. Both of my arms have been messing with me for the last few days. Every time I go to lay on my other side my arms fall asleep. My elbows hurt so bad! It’s so weird! I did try to watch Peter Pan right after my first one was over, but I didn’t last long. I’ll probably the last two tomorrow, in the afternoon, because I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight. I haven’t even read my book at all today! I’m almost done with it too. I’m not very happy about that either.

We found another one! Actually Bootsie just brought this one to the front porch this time around. We think this one is a boy and we are naming it Stefano!
We found another one! Actually Bootsie just brought this one to the front porch this time around. We think this one is a boy and we are naming it Stefano!

This evening, just keeps getting better and better! My mom brought in both Tubby and Rudy. Emily joined in and got both of the boys in a frenzy! Tubby has been licking everybody but me. It’s okay though because when my mom went to take them back into the kitchen and found a little gray and white kitten at the back door. We think it’s a girl and my sister Emily, has decided to name it Wren. We tried to take them back outside, but it didn’t work out so well. When my mom did take them outside, Bootsie literally ran off the back porch, and left little Wren to herself. Once mom called Emily to come get it, Bootsie came back with a second kitten left on the front porch. We are naming him Stefano!

Every time mom or Emily put Bootsie outside, she would bring another one up to the porch. We now have five kittens in all! We don’t know what they are yet. The last time, dad had to look and see what they were. We have three gray and white kittens, one calico, and the last one is black and white. I want to name at least one of them Ivan, but we still don’t have any names for the other three kittens. We need names ASAP! Because Emily has them all out on the floor and Emily can’t tell the difference between Wren and her twin. All of the kittens plus Bootsie are going to be sleeping in Emily’s room. Poor Em has to go to school in the morning. My mom and I are going to be watching over small kittens tomorrow. Yay! Thank God we still have those small balls we got for when Tubby and Rudy were itty bitty. My mom will probably be weighing them too. I feel bad for my wheelchair, because as cute as it was for them to think my wheelchair was their jungle gym, my headrest has been falling apart at the seams. The only part of my chair that is confortable, isn’t catproof!

Lincoln.

Google images
Google images

Well after almost twenty-four hours (or so it felt like!) I finally finished one of the movies I’ve been dying to see since I saw the previews on my TV for the first time. I haven’t been to the movies in a long time. I tried to get my parents to see it in the theaters, but it didn’t work out well for me. When I started watching it on my laptop last night it was probably 8:30pm and when I went to the bathroom for the last time that night it was 10pm and I had only got an hour into it. It is a long ass movie, but it is a Steven Spielberg movie. I think I have only watched a few movies that he’s directed (produced is another story) and I’ve only seen one movie with Daniel Day-Lewis as the “star” of the show and it was the musical Nine and I actually liked it, but Nine has nothing compared to Daniel’s performance in Lincoln.

Daniel’s performance was very believable. Not just in appearance either. Since you didn’t have tape recorders or TV cameras like they do now, majority of the earlier don’t have a voice. We don’t know what they really sounded like, unless someone who truly knew them described their voices to us. I think I liked the fact that all of the actors gave these people a voice again. Even if it’s just for a movie. Since I had seen Daniel in Nine I kind of knew what he looked like and sounded like, but I wasn’t expecting to be sold on the fact that he was playing a role. In different parts I thought he was Abraham Lincoln. Sally Field had the same thing. I have seen many movies with her in them and like I said before, we don’t know what Mary Lincoln would have sounded like, but we do know what she looked like. I watched (well, attempted to watch) Oprah’s Next Chapter when she visited Steven Speilberg, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Sally Field and talked to them about their parts about the film. I did catch the part where Sally really worked her butt off to do that part, to play Mrs. Lincoln. She gained weight and her appearance changed. I still thought she was beautiful woman, and I also thought she played the role as good as Daniel.

Now Tommy Lee Jones was less convincing to me. I don’t exactly know why it never clicked in my head, but I didn’t like his voice with his character. It also might’ve been the wig that threw me off, but it did nothing for me. I thought it was kind of weird for Joseph Gordon-Leavitt to be playing President Lincoln’s son. He looked too young, but at that time the youngest soldier that went to war were 16 year olds. He looked young, but he was supposed to be in college. I don’t know if my brain wasn’t registering that back then everything wasn’t as crazy as it is now. Out of those two weird roles for me, there was one that I found to be pretty interesting. Hal Holbrook, played Francis Preston Blair also played Lincoln in the mini series called Carl Sandburg’s Lincoln in 1976 and also played him in another mini series North and South in 1985-86. From the time I heard his voice I was like, I’ve heard of his voice. Where have I heard it? I had to wait until after I finished the movie to find out he had played Hercules’ Earth parents in the Disney animated movie Hercules. After I thought about it, it actually clicked.

I think the movie all around was good. It was long, but you kind of have to think about it, would rather have a movie that skips some key points of historical story in a movie or would you like to see how everything folded out at that time? I like the scenes how Lincoln would be in a room full of people and everybody would be yelling and hollering at each other, and he would be sitting in his chair, calm as can be. He would stop them by telling a story and it would change the atmosphere of the scene. One of my favorite scenes out of the entire thing was when Mr. Lincoln walks out of the room that he was in and his servant gives him his black coat, top hat, and gloves. He puts on the coat and hat, and as he goes to walk out of the floor he tells everybody in the room, “It’s time for me to go, but I would rather stay.” Everybody is standing up and as he walks out into the halfway he tosses his gloves onto the table where the servant was about to give them back, he just stands there happily. It was a sad scene, especially after that scene, but you could get the sense that everybody knew something was going to happen.

Almost Done

So hello, sorry this late post, but I keep going back and forth between feeling like poo to feeling very energetic. For the last few hours I have been feeling pretty miserable. I just want to sleep, I know if I go to sleep too early then I’ll get up at the butt crack of dawn like I did this morning. I did finish up the last of Casper, so it wasn’t too bad of a morning. I also didn’t sick like my mom and I thought I would. I was so hungry throughout the night, and I was literally counting down the hours as to when my sister was to get up in the morning for school. When my dad woke up at 6:30am, he got mad that I was awake so early. My mom told me to go back to sleep. I thought that since I had been awake for three hours there was no way in hell I’d actually go back to bed, but I did. I fell back asleep and got up at noon. I haven’t been asleep since and I don’t know how I’m still up honestly. I have been pushing myself to keep myself occupied with something so music, my book, and movies have been saving the day. I already know I’m going to be hungry in about three hours because my mom is pretty much scared to make me anything. So I had applesauce and Cheddar Jack CHEEZ-ITS for supper.

Even though I’m “sick” I have had a pretty interesting day. I haven’t watched last night’s episode of Hannibal yet. I’ll probably watch it tomorrow. A few hours ago, while my mom was doing the dishes. My dad has been in and out of the house a few times today and I guess when my dad came to talk to me, a yellow jacket bee came in my room without neither one of us knowing about it, and caused havoc on me. I kept hearing this buzzing noise in my room. I was turned on my left side against my wall and I thought it was coming from outside, because the mowers were running and my dad was messing with his motorcycle so I just thought it was that. So I tried to forget about it and then I kept hearing it and it just sounded too near to be outside, so I turned my head and saw this little round bee buzzing around my room. I, of course freaked out and started screaming for my mom. I think I yelled for her 30 times before she realized it wasn’t one of the neighborhood kids screaming their heads off. She came in and kind of panicked and then when she found it, she killed it. I was reminded today why I am not a fall of spring or summer.

For the past hour and a half I’ve been on Pinterest looking for good ideas for my room. I have a small room and I have some complications when it comes to things being on my floor. I have a lot of things at the foot of my bed. I have my laptop, books, mini speakers, headphones, iPod, and just so many cords that when somebody comes in to take me to the bathroom. everything has to be scooted over and it’s just insane, but if I have folders and notebooks on the floor as well, they get bent and ruined. I have so much stuff in a small amount of space that it’s driving me crazy. So I have been looking for some ideas and I do have idea, but I have to run it by my folks first and see what they think.

All righty, I’m done for the night. I’m going to watch Lincoln and hopefully it’s going to be good enough not to make me fall asleep during it. That would suck. So I hope everybody enjoyed their Friday, and have a safe night too!

Just One Bad Day

I know I promises yesterday and the day before that I would publish a real blog post, but honestly I think the post I did last night is going to be the only one I will do this week. I haven’t felt as upbeat and everything. My sister and mom weren’t feeling at their best yesterday, but we still went to my nana’s house for some family time. I enjoyed myself, I think we all enjoyed ourselves a lot. This morning when I woke up, I just felt like complete crap. My stomach was just bugging me. When my mom fixed me lunch and I did eat some, but right after I noticed I didn’t have any energy at all and I didn’t want to do anything. So around 1pm, I had my mom turn my fan back on and I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon. For once, I’m not pissed at myself for sleeping four hours because when I woke up for the first ten minutes I felt better. An hour later, everything that I had felt earlier in the day just came rushing back. I don’t know what in the world is wrong with me, but I did tell myself that I am allowing myself to have ONE bad day. Just one. So if I wake up in the morning still feeling the way I do know, I’ll give myself another day or I’ll find some way to fight through it. Like I’ve been doing since I got up at 5pm.

I have listened to music, read my book (my Kindle decided that it had a low battery, so I haven’t read much), watched tonight’s episode of The Vampire Diaries, which they showed a sneak peek of what they’re spin-off show The Originals and man, I hope it gets picked up because it was pretty bad ass. Some twists and turns. Now I’m debating on whether or not I want to try to watch Hannibal or if I should just tape it on my DVR. I don’t have Ridiculousness tonight, so I could watch it tonight, but I like watching it while it’s daylight and makes me feel less scared out of my mind. So yeah, that’s my dilemma for tonight. I’m posting these amazing song right now, because I think they’re awesome. So enjoy and I hope you are doing well. Hopefully I’ll be doing a Picture It & Write tomorrow. I think I only live for the weekends just for them from Ermiliablog.

I will learn this song. 🙂

and these song are just amazing in different ways 🙂

Finding Some Inner Peace.

Well I was wrong, looks like I am in a mood to do a real post, but I’m not going to talk about today. I’m going to talk about finding some peace and today, I actually felt that for the first time in years. I’ve been pretty good about keeping my mind away from thinking about the past and what I had back then. At times I would love to go back and relive some of those memories, but I’ve got to say I like where my life is heading and I have a pretty good life nowadays. I am realizing that these feelings I’ve been feeling since January, might be there because my sister is about to graduate high school and I don’t want her to. I would love to be in her shoes again, hell I’d like to WEAR her shoes. Period. That’s a totally different subject though, so anyways, my old feelings of my old friends from high school are creeping up on me more than they used to. It’s been kind of a good thing because at the beginning of this month one of my friends from high school died. It really hurt me because it was my first real friend that passed away. I actually knew this person and talked to them. So I think after that happened, I really wanted my old friends back even if I knew everything would be different, I just wanted them to know that I’m still here and I am willing on making those friendships work again.

That being said, I want to take baby steps. I don’t want to just jump right back into a friendship of a person who I haven’t seen since two years ago, I mean you can’t do that. I have to be patient and understand people do have their lives to live and know I’m not in high school anymore. They have jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends, school, and even families to think about now. It has been almost three years since I’ve seen most of the people I graduated with and there are times I see some of these people and think, okay, just ignore me like you did in high school. Then I start thinking in my head, what are these people going to think after you’re gone from this world? How are they going to feel about not saying something important to that person and then find out that they can never get that chance to say it to them? Not being around some of my friends, has made me think about that possibly of keeping things to myself and then something devastating like a death from one of them and I can’t tell them how much they meant to me.

One of the things I’ve regretted lately is putting blame on someone. I’m not taking responsiblity for my actions and I am just putting everything on them, but it was really my fault. It was my choice to be silent. I had blamed almost all of my high school crushes for making me feel like I was unworthy, but after all this time, I am starting to like myself as a person. I like how I look and I don’t need anyone thinking I’m beautiful and good enough for them, because I know I am good enough. I am in the process of taking that blame away from them and I kind of want to thank them for not wanting me, I guess. I had to be out of school to finally realize that I didn’t need to rely on somebody’s thoughts about who I am. I have truly accepted myself, my disability, and my life.

I say all this, but there are a few things I am still working on. I am guilty of pushing people away. I have noticed my “shyness” has come back to haunt me, but I have the state of mind if I can tell a person a funny story than I’ll start to open up and everything will be all right. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. What really gets me right now, is how music has taken away some of the pain I’ve endured in the past several years. I went through my Linkin Park phase at the end of high school. I had a Nikki Sixx phase at the end of 2011 and the beginning of last year and now I am STILL in my Five Finger Death Punch phase. All three have showed up at different times of my life and gotten me to see the light in different things. I have grown up and every day is a new day with a new challenge for me to face. Will it be a good day? I have to make it a good day. I ask God to watch over me and help me to have a good day and he helps me get through my rough patches here and there. I have my family that cares deeply for me and I appreciate that and I love them dearly.

Tonight, I talked to one of my old high school friends, whom I haven’t seen since last fall at a football game. I haven’t hung out with her and I don’t talk to her much. I have been trying my hardest to not think about her and our friendship we have or had. Honestly at times, I didn’t consider us ” best friends” because she had too much going in her life, which wasn’t her fault. I was just putting that blame on her when she didn’t deserve it. We had a good chat and I’m happy that I am willing to break down those walls I put up over the past couple of years. I hope this post gets you thinking about the past and your future too. We can’t change the past, but we can make our future more interesting than we think we can. We are allowed to have both good and bad days. We have to stop letting our negative thoughts drive us into a corner. We have to stop pushing blame at innocent people and forget about has happened to us, and move on.

The best is yet to come. Good night.