Well, today has been in the middle of “pretty good” because I mean, it wasn’t bad, but yet it wasn’t the greatest in the world. Tomorrow, I can going to be decked out in red. I think I still have a pair of red sweatpants. If I don’t, then I’ll wear one of my black pants. I have an endless supplies of black shirts and pants. My parents always tell me, I need less black clothes, but yet they’re the ones that allow me to buy these clothes in the first place. Here, I’ll give a great example. Last Thursday, while I was at work. My parents went out to eat and they went to his bike shop he sometimes hangs out at whenever he’s not busy. When my mom came to get me from work, she told me they got me something. They got me this badass, black shirt with white lettering and angel wings on the back. It’s a long-sleeved shirt too. So both of my parents are at fault with this one. I’ll probably be able to wear this shirt this weekend. I have a red scrub top with different color hearts on it. So I think I’ll be wearing that tomorrow. I also have to remember to bring my valentine cards. That would be awkward as crap to go to work on Valentine’s Day without my cute little cards I got for the residents.
I’ve been trying to write my songs again. I’ve been writing off and on for a year and a half. I think I wrote three last year. I’ve already written two or three this year. I think I’ve been getting some inspiration from the symphonic metals I’ve been listening to lately. I’ve never been an abstract songwriter. I write my songs on my thoughts, feelings, and personal stories. I’ve been writing about my personal life since I was in middle school. Back then, it was easy for me to write about my stories on a daily basis. Nowadays, since I don’t do a lot there are less and less things to talk about in my songs. So last year, I started writing about different things that other people around me were going through. I still do some of those every now and then. Today, I started on a unique thing. I’m getting fantasy like ideas and I think I’m getting these ideas from bands like Epica, Nightwish and my new favorite Kamelot. So I’m pretty excited about that. I have like titles and concepts floating around in my head, but getting to the point and getting out is the trick. They just started flowing out today, so I’ll probably saving different stuff on my phone if I’m not around a notebook or my laptop. You go with what you got, you know. I wrote a song called, “Somewhere In Babylon” this afternoon.
Last night, I did something that I’m actually kind of regretting now. I was on Twitter last night and apparently there was a game on, so Chris Kael from Five Finger Death Punch was answering different questions. Everytime he does, I always think to myself, he must really love us, to be twittering in the middle of a sporting event. Anyways, he held a small chatting thing on Twitter again. I have gotten three or four tweets back from him before, but I think the reply I got last night pretty much made my night a little bit better. I sent a tweet saying, and it was just a thought tweet and I just included his Twitter name, because it’s a habit. I can’t believe I just said that, but it’s true. I put in this tweet that I need to start working on his drawing, maybe this weekend. Probably three minutes later, there’s a tweet with my words on it and he replied with “Please do!” I thought I was going to have a mini heart attack. I started squealing and I called my mom into my room. My dad was outside. She probably thought I was crazy, because I normally don’t squeal like a little girl whenever I get a tweet from him. Now the first tweet I did, but that surprised the crap out of me. Last night’s reply though, I put it on my Facebook and said at the bottom, “I’m so excited, but freaking terrified now.” My uncle sent me a comment saying, “Aw you can do it.” My comment back was, “I’m seriously thinking in my head, ‘what the hell did I just get myself into.” I was laughing when I put that, but it’s all true. What the hell did I just do?
I have to explain this first, since I have went back to songwriting, I have been thinking about drawing again. I need to at least try to finish my other one I never completed two months ago. I’ve been thinking about cleaning up that little area or getting on the floor and do what I did for Jason Hook’s drawing. I don’t think my dad is going to let me off the hook about not finishing my other one first. I don’t know what I’m doing to about it and quite frankly, I don’t think I can finish it. My heart is no longer in drawing that person. I just need to move on and if I want to, I can go back and finish it. I have all the pictures I need to do this, but I don’t have the right confidence in myself. It doesn’t matter what anybody in my family says, I just can’t get it through my head I can do it. And I’m a realistic person, and I’m not even giving myself a chance to say “I can do this!” Because my mind just shuts down instantly. I don’t do well with pressure. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll forget all about it and I won’t have to worry about it. The fact I’m going to have to explain about drawing with my feet, is another factor in this state of thinking. However, now that I have out in the open, I don’t feel so bad anymore. I can actually breathe a little more. I still think I’m on cloud 9, well just because he replied back. That never gets old.
Now, I’m going to relax for an hour and then get ready for Law & Order: SVU and Happily Divorced’s season finale at 10:30. I also have that Stone Sour and Papa Roach concert at 11:30pm-2:30am to watch. I don’t know what to do about that still, because I want my dad to tape The Vampire Diaries tomorrow night, because my mom and I are both thinking we’re not going to leave after it starts. Tomorrow is Vampire Day, not Valentine’s Day! At least, that’s what I’m telling myself to keep me happy. Hopefully, everybody has a lovely Thursday nevertheless. Good night! (: