Bruises

A year ago, all I wanted was a life and wanted to forget everybody I went to school with, even if admitting that almost killed me. I was talking to fewer people anyways, it wasn’t like it was such a bad idea. I would see some people around, but going up and talking to them wasn’t my thing. If they were really curious about how my life was against their’s, they would have to make the first move. Sometimes talking to old friends is a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but the ones who never understood you in any way shape or form, your mind can’t really unwrap those thoughts like you want them to. I have been doing really good about thinking less and less of old high school friends. If a person I haven’t talked to in a long time comes up to me, I normally remember who they are, but I’m actually forgetting people’s last names. It won’t be too long before I forgot a person’s first name. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a bad or a good thing. To me, if I forget a person’s name than that means that they weren’t around much to remember anything special about them. I can think back to different little memories from Elementary, and wonder why I can still remember this certain thing. I think I have one or two memories per school year up untill middle and high school, then they take up the rest. I have thought of them too much and I need room for the future memories.

I have had the Facebook I’ve been using, for a year now. I vowed to not add anybody who was just looking at adding friends as a popularity contest. On the other account I had over 800+ friends on there. I had tried to delete a lot of them, but deleting people at that time was slow and such a waste of my time. So I was fed up enough to take some of the pictures I still wanted, and deleted that whole account. I have no went on it for a whole year. I did keep myself away for almost a week, which even I was surprised. I have been back and forth with adding old “friends” from high school, hoping to still hang out with them, but the more I hoped, the more I got disappointed at everything. I have 138 friends. I actually went on a deleting spree a few weeks ago. My Facebook wasn’t the only social network site that I didn’t want anyone from school adding me. I’ve used Twitter longer than anyone. My sister hasn’t even used Twitter for as long as I have. I have used it since the spring of 2010 (but created my first account in 2009) and the account I use now isn’t the original. I’ve had that account since December 2011. So for an entire year. 2011 was a good year for me to change my ways. I have been seeing a lot of old “friends” on Twitter and I think it’s absolutely hilarious, even though some are getting better, lots don’t know the proper way to tweet. I only have three or four old high school on my Twitter following me. I like it that way, anymore and I might block them. Kidding!

It’s not that I don’t like these people, I just don’t want my old feelings to get all fired up again over old shit. I want new memories. Do I miss some of these people? Well, yeah. I had some awesome and crazy conversations. I can only see a few chats about how life has become for all of us and that’s it. Like, a high school reunion. The older generations had it made. They didn’t have Facebook or Twitter after graduating high school to keep up with everybody. So they do other things like moved away from home, got married and had a family. After ten years or so, they get little letters in the mail from whoever’s holding the reunions and gets invited to reminisce with old flames, teammates, old bullies, and get to make up lies about how good their lives have been. Now, if somebody was to lie about their life, all they have to do is look on your Facebook and see how much of a no life you do have. You could try to make yourself so awesome and cool, and then somebody could send you a message and says, “hey, so I see you’re pretty good at Texas Hold’Em?” Oh shit! Is the first thing that pops into your head whenever you get that message. The older generations are, of course, liking the idea of keeping in touch with each other via Facebook. I’m part of the “new” generation and I’m not liking seeing old high friend’s lives plastered right in front of me, making me seem more depressed than I was in school.