My Life Through The Year 2012

“Heartbroken and beaten.
Knocked down and mistreated.
I will rise undefeated.
I will not let you bring me down.
Now the pain is deleted and I will never repeat it.
I will rise undefeated.
I will not let you bring me down.” – Christina Aguilera

I started out this year as a girl who wanted to overcome her depression and got a new-found of music and group of people to help her see the positive side of life. That life doesn’t have to be sad and you don’t have to hate yourself. Life is beautiful. It can be complicated and crazy, but both of those things can be good too. Before, I thought my life wasn’t going to get any better. I didn’t understand why God was giving me more tomorrows, instead of just letting me go. I was getting told by everybody I was around that I was an inspiration and I didn’t know how to take that as a good thing. I still have problems with taking that as a good thing, but I’m learning, slowly but surely. I’ve noticed that as much as I thought my family had given all hope for me, they never have. They’ve understood my feelings, but they just didn’t understand how to help. It’s all a learning process.

As the year went on and on, my friends list from my hometown kept declining without my consent. I didn’t want any of my friendships to end, but ever since I graduated from high school. I understood I wouldn’t be able to keep all of the same friends I had from school. It just wasn’t going to happen. For some, I was actually fine with that. As for the rest, it kept getting harder and harder to keep up. They kept taking pictures of different people who I knew and found time to be around them, but as they said the words, “we’ll hang out soon” that slowly became just a thought in my mind again. It never happened. Good things happened for the ones I went to school with, some had gotten engaged, married, were pregnant, and one even surprised me, when they decided they was going to go into the army. I never saw them as the type to want to go on to do that. At the beginning of the year, my cousin had finally made the move up north permanent. Everybody was doing things and going places. I wasn’t. I was still stuck in the same ole place I started from and I couldn’t wrap my head around it either.

I don’t know why, but love has to be on my mind all the time. I’ve heard people say on movies and TV shows to their fellow actors or actresses, that they need to get out and meet somebody. Just one little problem. I don’t believe in fairy tales, so I’m definitely not going to believe an actress in a movie who memorized a script that told her to tell the other actress, she needed to get out there in the world and play the field for a bit. I knew I wasn’t going to go out on a date anytime soon because of my slow declining of friends around town. On a good note though, I decided early enough in the year to not do online dating. To me, it’s just not safe, but yet I talk to random people on Twitter. Yeah, that part comes into my mind too. My friends from Twitter are a different breed though. I know I’m not going to fall in love with anyone. I think they’re all beautiful in their own way, but I know it’s not worth the pain to tell them I think I have feelings for them. Have I had a thing for some of them? Yes, and I have kept my mouth shut and I intend to continue to do so.

Around February, I decided to break my vows I had made to myself almost two years before. I decided that it was time to get back into drawing again. It was Super Bowl Sunday that I actually sat on the floor and just doodled in my sketchbook, and I thought I was making a bad decision, because doing projects at home is very different from doing them at school. At school, we were only allowed a week for each project. Since I didn’t have anybody telling me how many days I had left (my teacher never did that, but you get my point) and all I needed was my dad nearby to stir me in the right direction. As he says everytime I bring him my drawings that he doesn’t know what I need fixed and just likes everything I do. That never helps when he tells me that, but somehow it works every single time. After I finished my first portrait after almost two years, it was interesting since the first day I started working on it, I bawled like a baby because I put too much pressure on myself to do a good job on it. Now, the only reason why I pressure myself is because my dad calls me a quitter everytime I don’t complete one of my drawings. Everything I do, I do as a hobby, but people don’t understand it. That’s why I’ve never given journalism a shot.

I did two things I’d never thought I’d do. 1.) I got into heavy metal. 2.) I read 50 Shades of Grey and got through it. First, I got into metal in late 2011. I started listening bands like, In This Moment, Shinedown, Papa Roach, Lacuna Coil and my ultimate favorite at the moment, Five Finger Death Punch. If you have been reading my stuff since the beginning of the year, you’ve read about how my love for this band. Over the summer, I found out that there were two festivals that we’re coming into town an hour away from where I live. I begged and begged my parents to go to each and neither one budged. I literally got made fun of my metal music preferences. However, just two months after 5FDP came into town, my dad caved in and asked me to make him a burn CD of my favorite songs by them. I felt like a proud daughter, but it would surely come back to bite me in the butt a little. My dad started learning the songs and using it to make me laugh and I mean, everytime he would try to sing or scream like Ivan, I would laugh my ass off.

During this time, I had heard about this book called 50 Shades of Grey. I had seen it on Amazon before all the talk about it. I read the summary and thought it was interesting, to say the least, but something about it, just made me feel uncomfortable. Just reading the summary of it made me feel weird. That should have been my warning. I think I spent at least two months trying to get through it, after I had finish my last rockstar biography for the year, or as I thought. Anyways, as I read it, the more I hated it. When I did my review, I had actually waited another month to do it. I didn’t like the book as I thought I would. Everybody said it was the best book of the summer, but I didn’t like it. You know when I didn’t like the first book of a series, when I didn’t even bother reading the other books. I had better luck with the next series than I did with this series. The series I’m into now, is called Sinners On Tour and they’re by Olivia Cunning. So of course, since the title of the series doesn’t tell you what it’s about. It’s a rock ‘n roll plus erotica book. I’m almost finished with the second book and I can’t wait to start the third book in the series. I read Olivia’s blog too, so I love reading her spoilers of the next books. I am addicted to the series!

There were two things that were different from the years before were I, well my family went to the mall more than twice in one year. Which usually NEVER happens. I think I went to Wal-Mart three times and I’ve went to the mall like six times. Not bad, since it’s a longer trip and more ways to shop for clothes. Even though I’m not an expensive type of person, I do like getting out and window shopping. Nothing wrong with that. If I had enough money than I went online to look ahead like a day before our trip and took pictures of which tops I liked online and had the guts to ask the employees to help me find certain things. As much as it use to drive me crazy, I’m starting to get a little better with it now. My band shirts kept growing and what I thought was just going to be a phase, my skulls obsession kept growing too. I can’t get enough of it. Now I’m trying to cut down on my dark clothes and buy lighter clothes for my second change of my life. After my last breakdown of my boring life, the week before Thanksgiving, my mom talked to my aunt into having do volunteer work at the same place my mom works. I started the week after Thanksgiving, and I love doing it. It gets me out of the house and gets me around people again. Which is also good for me since I was starting to hate people the more life went on for me.

This year has been a year of ups and downs. I’ve had my fair share of downs this year and as much as I’d like not to relive those days, I’m glad they happened. I’ve grown up and became stronger in every way. The downs from 2011 became the ups as the year went on. It was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to not only myself, but for my family as well. We had more family visits and spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas together. It was more than I thought I ever wanted. Family is important element to have when you feel like you’re alone on this big planet full of crazy people. God has gotten me through another year and I’m glad he’s never given up on me, even though I’ve turned into a little metalhead. I don’t know what 2013 has in store for me or anybody else, but I hope it continues on the same path its on right now because I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve lost some friends, but I’ve gained a few new ones back. I learned I need to start accepting myself as a person more. For my 21st birthday I realized I didn’t need to have an alcohol infested party with strippers (if you’ve been reading my posts since the end of 2011 you’ll get this) all I needed was some family time in an old restaurant we use to go when I was little, go to a bookstore and shopping afterwards. That’s what I learned through this chaotic journey. Hopefully I’m not done either. I hope you welcome 2013 will open arms, in my case with an open mind. Understand that is life is beautiful too. (:

The Snow Needs To Go!

I have been stuck in this house since the day after Christmas. Since after Thanksgiving I’ve been getting out of the house two days a week, My body and mind were starting to get into routine again. Now knowing I’ve been at home for what feels like forever because of the damn snow blizzard. I’m not taking it well! It’s only Saturday too, so I got to get through tomorrow and hoping my ride for Monday comes through and picks me up, because I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to deal with the same boring day over and over again. It doesn’t do any good with the same crazy people either. I don’t know if my mom works New Year’s Eve or not. I’m kind of hoping she doesn’t. Since she came home last night, telling me that she told the residents, “see you next year” probably meaning she doesn’t work on Monday. I don’t know if I’d be able to go in or not. It’ll depends how much the snow has melted on the ground.

I’m sitting on my bed, waiting for my Kindle to get done charging. I’m going to get back into reading again. It’s been a month since my birthday and I’ve only finished one book out of six books I bought in all. I’ve tried to read two others, but my heart just hasn’t been in it at all. So I decided that since I stay after work to go home with my mom when she finishes her shift, I’m just going to bring along my books with me to pass time. However, the books I read are a little out there. So I hope nobody decides to ask me about my favorite books or I’ll be screwed. I’m also on board on trying to finish the Sinners On Tour series by Olivia Cunning. Which is the only reason why I’m charging my Kindle, because I haven’t completed the second book Rock Hard, and I am not starting the third book (no matter how much it keeps screaming my name!) until I’ve finished this other book. I’m going to have to get a bigger purse or hand bag to carry my Kindle in or any other of my books. Or I could just stuff it in my mom’s purse so it’s all there and hidden from my dad. That’s an awesome idea! I can’t wait to see the green light at the bottom of my Kindle now!

Something New In 2013

cropped-101119954105167493_09nwqoaf_c.jpgSo in three days, it won’t be 2012 anymore. I don’t know about you guys, but I am so happy! Even though, next year will just make everybody in my family, including myself feel extremely old. My sister’s last semester in high school starts next month and she’ll be moving on with life and hopefully not fall in my footprints and actually succeed at something. She’s very excited, but I’m sure she’s trying to hold in her feelings of being sad about it too. Leaving everything you’ve known for 12 years is very hard and starting something new is just extra stress added onto those other feelings. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though. At the beginning of this year, I had a resolution I made on New Years, and it was to think I’m beautiful. I only lasted three months. Its better than other people, who usually keep their resolutions for a week or two. Lots of people don’t make any because of the reason of forgetting about them. My resolution is to try to go to as many concerts as I can. I told my mom about it and she just did her usual “hmm” and nod. I’m hoping for a miracle with both of my parents with this resolution.

Another thing I’m going to do differently. I’m going to forget about the people who don’t want anything to do with me. If they don’t care about me, then I don’t care about them. Which is a lie, because if I hear any bad news about them or their family, then I’ll add them to my long list for when I do my prayers. Anyways, I don’t want to forget every good memory I have that includes them, but I do want to stop thinking about them almost everyday. I did my first step of this long process. I wrote a letter to a person and explained my thoughts and feelings towards. Don’t worry, I won’t send it to them, even though I should. It’s not exactly a bad thing really. It’s actually something she needs to read and maybe she’d understand why I feel this way about her and the others. After I got mostly everything off my chest. I deleted it, because I didn’t need it anymore. If I was to put it on here as a “protected” I’d be worried about somebody in my family trying to go through it anyways. Not my parents though, they may think my blog is a great tool for me to use to share my stories, but one of them wouldn’t understand. So I’m done with the old friendships that I had in high school. They were as good as they could be at that time. No use in trying to make something useless happen again. Fate is tricky sometimes. So, onto something new. I got more than enough friends to create new stories with.

Every Album In Your Music Library.

I don’t know about you, but I’m old school when it comes to buying music. I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t go into detail about it. I’m not so old school that I have a record player. I was born in early 90’s, so a small stereo was my life. Buying physical CDs everytime my favorite artist or group came out with something new was the biggest joy for me at that time. It still is, I would rather buy the physical album itself than the digital album off of iTunes or Amazon. Because what if you’re computer that has all of your music on it crashes. Those digital albums are gone and you have to start over and waste money because you had to have the digital album. I say this, but I have like three digital albums on our family computer. Buying digital albums has a good thing about them though. If you buy an album from Wal-Mart, there’s a greater chance of getting the censored. If you mainly listen to rap and metal music, and the vulgar words are beeped out, it sucks. It’s not worth it trust me.

I’ve been a fan of Backstreet Boys for many, many years. I’ve been a fan of Christina Aguilera for about the same amount of time as them too. Yet, I have all of Christina’s albums and only missing two (not counting the new one they’re releasing next year) Backstreet Boys albums, For certain artists and bands, I will go out of my way to make sure I have every released album. It might take me a while, but I will get them one way or another. I didn’t get Christina’s first album until 2004, and it’s actually not mine. It was a friend of my cousins but then she moved and I never gave it back to her. Haven’t seen her in years. My mom bought Christina’s second album in 2003, after we started living at my nana’s. I kind of skipped over her Back To Basics album. Last year for Christmas, I got Bionic and it was the deluxe edition. I love it a lot more than I thought I would. This Christmas, I got Back To Basics and her latest album, Lotus. So technically I have all of her released albums, not counting her Greatest Hits, Christmas and Spanish albums. I’m happy how I have all these albums. She isn’t the only one I’ve spent my money on. Oh, that sounds bad, but you understand what I mean.

Linkin Park was my first rock group to get into once I accepted my little phase in mid-2009. Before my 18th birthday, literally the week before my birthday, I bought Hybrid Theory and Meteroa with my parents. That night as I was hanging out with my friends, we went to Wal-Mart and I bought Minutes To Midnight. I was so into having every released album. That Christmas I got the Reanimation album and I don’t remember if I got Road To Revolution live album then too. I remember sitting on the floor and looking at the inside little booklet with my mom and she only does that during Christmas morning. Anyways, the next year, a week after it was released. My mom let me buy A Thousand Suns on iTunes since it would be uncensored. Over the summer of this year, she went to Wal-Mart on her break and bought me Living Things. I was so excited! It took me probably three years to get every album. I know I am missing Live In Texas, but I actually don’t count the live albums. I don’t know why, I just don’t. Probably too much to keep up with for me. I already have one, I don’t need another.

Now I’m doing it again. Seeing my iPod’s songs on the certain artist’s profile gets passed 1 or 2 songs is pretty awesome for me. I have a new band in for the taking. Five Finger Death Punch is next on iPod takeover. I have bought the crap out of them. And everybody thought my Linkin Park obsession was bad. I looked last night when I had my headphones on. At went point I had 22 songs and one whole album, to 42 songs and two full albums. All I’m missing now is one more album that was released and that is War Is The Answer. I cannot wait to get it too! Between my relationship with buying their albums and their shirts. I’m losing my mind! Even though this is my third round at this, thinking I’m losing it is perfectly normal. However, you probably think I am. Do you have a band or artist, that you have absolutely everything you could get? I know I’ll have another victim that’s coming, but so far I only have three.

My Inside Thoughts.

Today has been a boring day. Normally, I would still be at work with mom, but since my mom was actually off today. I wouldn’t have to stay after with my mom. We got TONS of snow yesterday and it got me thinking about winter fun as a kid. I’ve seen a lot of pictures on Facebook of different people and their kids or grandkids sledding or making snowmen in their yards. It all made me think about my childhood. I realized I was never outside when there was snow on the ground. I do remember begging to my mom a few times, but that only lead to being placed on the porch and not being able to scout around, so it wasn’t much fun. Not like everybody makes it out to be. I’ve never been on a sled before, and I love ramps too! So my little inner daredevil is screaming at me to find a freaking sled and fast!

Yesterday though, I don’t know what in the world has been wrong with my emotions at the moment, but ever since Christmas Eve, I’ve been somewhat depressed and I don’t know why. I was really depressed on Christmas day. I had a bunch of back pain, but that might’ve been from the blizzard that was coming in that next morning. I didn’t have that much pain yesterday, but I still felt like crap. I felt so distanced again. I hadn’t felt like that since 2010. When I was in that deep depression bubble, I felt distanced from everybody. It might be from my sleep schedule being messed up again. Anyways, I took so many naps in the last three days that I’m surprised how I could even go to sleep at night. I would love to know what’s really wrong with me though. I hope I’m not getting sick. My mom has been sick pretty much the entire month and I don’t want to get sick either. I already have enough physical pain around my back, I don’t want any pain around my chest area.

The Day After Christmas

This was outside of my nana’s house this morning. Where that tree is, there is a road next to it. We got so much snow in one night that it has literally covered the roads.

So I’ve heard that after you go to a concert you’ve been really excited for and when you come home afterwards, everybody’s at the mercy of you, because you’re still hyper as crap and want to talk about the whole thing. When you wake up the next day you feel all depressed, because it’s over. Well, as I grew up I noticed the day after Christmas was like that for me. It was less exciting and everybody wants to stay inside. Today is the 26th and guess what came our way last night, well I should say it came to us at 4am, it started with the ice and then the snow came second. I love snow, I mean, seriously. I got this pair of pajamas yesterday that say “Chill Out” and the pants are red with white snowflakes. Seems like I probably should have worn my other set instead. We got about 8 inches of snow and my mom just opened up my blinds of my window and I saw all of it. It’s so pretty but guess what? It’s still snowing outside. No wonder we’re in a State Of Emergency.

My CDs I got yesterday. If you can't read them, they are The Unforgiving by Within Temptation, Back To Basics by Christina Aguilera, New Horizons by Flyleaf, and Lotus by Christina Aguilera. (Also got The Way Of The Fist by Five Finger Death Punch. My dad has it already!)
My CDs I got yesterday. If you can’t read them, they are The Unforgiving by Within Temptation, Back To Basics by Christina Aguilera, New Horizons by Flyleaf, and Lotus by Christina Aguilera. (Also got The Way Of The Fist by Five Finger Death Punch. My dad has it already!)

Monday, my dad took me to work. My usual ride was closed on Monday and Tuesday. So for most of last week, I was kind of sad because I didn’t think I’d be able to go to work on Christmas Eve. I really wanted to see everybody. My mom had to work, so I thought it wasn’t fair and everybody knew how bad I wanted to go. So my mom talked my dad into taking me and I spend my day sending out gifts to the residents from their families. I wore a Christmas sweater to work. No, I did not wear my Santa hat. Between the two floors, you can never tell which floor is going to be hotter than the other. Anyways, we got home at 8pm. I actually didn’t go to bed until 10pm. I could’ve went to sleep as soon as we got home, but I figured if I did I’d wake up earlier than I should. My sister and I got up at the same freaking time. Around 4am. However, I have to admit I got up at 3:30am, so I definitely beat her. My dad was already up and getting everything for bunch at my grandparents ready. By the time it was like 4:30am I had been up on Facebook and Twitter. My mom’s alarm didn’t go off until 5am. By that time, I was tempted to run into her room and jump on her bed to get her up. The aftermath wouldn’t have been pretty, but you know. To this point, I was excited and everything.

This is one of my outfits. This was my Zebra shirt. It’s two shirts in once, plus it’s got sequins on the Zebra shirt. I got another shirt like this, but it’s in purple instead.

Once my mom was officially awake and had taken me to the bathroom. She put me on the floor and Emily managed to go back to sleep. So she came out with a small blanket and Oliver decided he was going to sit between us. Emily passed out the presents from under the tree. Two things I mainly wanted was clothes for work and more music. I definitely got that. I got:

  • I got a black sweater that looks oversized, but those are the best. It’s got a huge neck and even though it doesn’t fall off my shoulders (like most of my shirts do) if you were to pull it down towards my back, there’s a big gap.
  • I got two different sets of pajamas. One, I already talked about at the top. The other is a white and pink, long-sleeved shirt, that has a cupcake on it that says “Sweet.” The pants that came with it are white and pink also, but it’s in Zebra print. I don’t understand why it wasn’t covered in cupcakes, but I can deal with this.
  • Speaking of Zebra, I got a pair of leggings that are like Zebra. I am officially out of animal print designs to get now.
  • My mom and sister Emily found a Butler shirt the last time we were at the mall. I’m happy to say, you can read what sports team it is. Usually my arms get in the way of the words on the shirt. These are bold enough to read on the shirt.
  • As I was unwrapping presents, I was starting to get worried about finding any of my Hot Topic stuff I wanted. Then I found my skull pants. One side is black with white skulls, then vice versa. I’ve got to say, I like and know I need good respectable clothes for work (my dad won’t let me wear anything skulls related to work) but once I found these, my mood kept crawling back up again.
  • I finally got that shirt that I’ve known about for at least a month now. My parents got me a shirt from my dad’s favorite bike shop. It’s dark purple and silver lettering on the left side.
  • In my stocking, my sister and I got a small tube of Hershey’s chocolates. My mom also got us a necklace with the first letter of our names. When we were at the mall, two weeks ago, my dad and I were passing Claire’s and I saw a pretty “M” and was actually thinking about getting a “M” necklace, but apparently mom had the same idea.

After we got done. We spend an hour and a half, just looking through my stuff and wanting to open up my CDs and jam for a bit. I didn’t get to do that. My mom dressed me in my Zebra print outfit and put my new bracelet that I got on Monday, before I went to work I got it through the mail from my friend Tabby. It is a small bracelet with a half of a heart and a little silver tag that says “friend” on it. The good news is, it fits my small wrist perfectly! I love it! The Zebra leggings I wore yesterday were as thin as ever. You wouldn’t they would be so thin, but they were. Before we even left, my dad went outside to put things in the truck and found out somebody was in our driveway. My Uncle David understands our traditional race to my nana’s is important to us all, so our starting point was our house. He kicked our butts only because dad doesn’t understand our race. So he was driving slow (despite there was nobody on the roads or snow on the roads) so next year, my mom drives us to our grandparents house.

When we got up there, David was already hanging out of the front door and dancing around. We got inside and decided that we were going to do the presents first. Nana actually had Christmas music on when we first got up there. It was surprising to all of us. We got into the living room, Kristi was on the couch, fighting with her mom because she DID NOT want to get up. We all got in there and Emily, was our little elf to pass out all the gifts. I think it was my papaw who had the most presents, because his lap was covered with different boxes with wrapping paper on them. This time around I actually sat in the wheelchair. My toes were already tired to begin with and I was really hungry. So my energy was declining quickly. I actually sat in my wheelchair and watched everybody open up their gifts. The thing that was the most common present was blankets. We will definitely not be cold for the rest of the winter that’s for sure. After we were done, we went into the kitchen and had brunch. David made mac & cheese the night before, so I had that plus everything my nana and dad made. I was so bloated, but it was so good too! Definitely worth it!

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

547370_2567420722906_342352332_nIt doesn’t seem right. It is almost Christmas! How can that be?! Yesterday, my nana, my sister Emily, her boyfriend Bailey, and I decorated Christmas cookies! I have been thinking about sugar cookies since after Thanksgiving, but shortly after doing my third cookie I thought my lower back  was going to explode on me. I have a lower back muscle on my left side that hurts everytime I lean back enough and stay that way for a couple of minutes. I hate it, but I’m actually starting to get use to it. It still hurts, but at least now I know where its coming from. Anyways, before we even decorated the sugar cookies and before Bailey came over to help out. We went to Dollar General and CVS so my nana could get the last of her Christmas presents. We were around to both stores and I got this idea that morning, to get a Christmas present for one of the nurses that my mom works with. I hope she likes it!

After we were done, we got back to my nana’s house. My mom and Emily went to Subway for lunch. Oh my gosh, it was so freaking good too! When they got back, we had another truck on the driveway. You can always tell who is who, just by their stereo systems in their vehicles. My mom’s stereo in her car, if you were to shut all of the door and roll up the windows, the sound is very muffled. My dad, he likes both country and metal, and he has a real badass stereo system in his truck, and he usually has his windows down, so you can hear coming very easily. Bailey likes all kinds, and he has a badass stereo system in his truck, but he’s bass is just enough that you can actually tell the difference between him and dad. Kind of sad really, I bet my dad is jealous too. When we have time to know ahead that he’s coming to the house, I usually yell out that he’s here. Even though I know everybody can hear him outside. That is what I did when he came to my nana’s, minus the yelling part though. I didn’t want to scare papaw or nana for that matter.

We ate and then mom decided she was going to do the rest of the Saturday errands she usually does, without any help. So we had the little troublemakers. But before my mom even left, we decided to let loose and tell a few stories about Emily that she wouldn’t normally tell anybody that wasn’t family. He. however, laughed his butt off! She now hates my mom and I, but that’s okay. Anyways, when mom left, my nana and I put all of her laundry in the baskets. As I was finishing, my nana put Emily and Bailey to work, by having them put food coloring inside the icing so when we decorate the cookies. It was cute that they were literally getting mad at each other because of the fact their colors weren’t right enough for each other. The orange looked more like a coral. I remember Bailey getting mad at Emily for making un-traditional Christmas colors, like orange, blue and yellow. The better part was, when Bailey made the colors they looked like the color he was going for. Emily was the one who made, red, but was turned into pink. She also made the coral color, Bailey was nice enough to make the purple for me while I was still doing the laundry.

When I was finally done doing the laundry, I went into the kitchen to join the fun. My nana washed my feet. That’s something new for you to hear, huh? We put two chairs together so I had enough room for me to place the cookies for when I was done with them. My nana put the icing on my top left side. She put two sheets of parchment paper and then stacked a bunch of cookies on the same side, but lower. I wish I knew what I used last year to spread the icing across the cookie because I first tried using a spoon, but that didn’t work so much. So my nana gave me something else, but by the time I got through my second cookie, my Christmas cookie was already crushed because I was hurting some much. I think I did like seven cookies, and the rest my sister finished for me. I finished the cookies with putting a bunch of sprinkles on top of the cookies. I don’t know about everybody else. I love both chewy and soft cookies, but I think I love chewy cookies much. I had two cookies this morning for breakfast (screw traditional breakfast!) and I have two very soft cookies, and my mom was nice enough to cut them a small pieces. The more the merrier! I am tempted to take some to work tomorrow, but I don’t think they’ll make it until that night.