How Do We Want To Be Treated?


Have you ever gone to a place, and just smiled at a person that was walking towards you. They look like the scariest person out there, but you know you still smiled at them anyways? I get those from little kids. They see you as this person that looks weird from their family members and everybody around them. Then you have a person like me in front of them and it isn’t anybody there use to, and my features are very different from everybody else. I have seen kids stare in amazement. I’ve had kids ask me questions about my arms. I’ve had kids give me dirty looks. I’ve recently gotten waved by a two and a half-year old. So little things warm your heart and then by the time their in their tweens, their sweet side becomes a demon. They become bullies towards other kids. They become insecurities by their own features.

At the beginning of our lives, I’ll say it like this. I was always told to be nice to everybody else. Treat everybody the way you would want to be treated. That’s how I am today. If I treat you as a person, then I expect the respect back. So I was mainly told to be nice to everybody because that was the only way you’re going to get through in life. Well, years later everything has switched. Everybody that I know has told me to be mean and kind of bossy to people to earn your respect to get through life. Which way is the right way? Because I have no idea how to act around people. I treat people nicely, but  if I show my bossy side. I don’t want to be another asshole not giving anybody the benefit of the doubt. I can’t be that way. A person features can be different from how they act. I have been described as a sweet, but devilish too. That wasn’t how I was raised, that was dealing with people who wanted to use me. I want to be treated nicely, but as a person I don’t want anybody thinking I can be used to your advantage.

My October Wish.

Well, this year is sure speeding up quickly. I got to say though, this month (to me) has been feeling pretty slow. It definitely doesn’t seem it’s going to be October tomorrow. The outside is just starting to change colors and the cold has come early again. Rain has also made an appearance a few times as well. By mid-September and beginning of October it all feels the same. So wish number one. I wish to have a longer autumn than we usually do, but winter comes in full swing this year. I miss the snow, can you tell?

I have 12 days until every Vampire Diaries favorite day. October 11th is when my favorite show comes back on after the long, four-month wait after season three ended. I’ve seen the new preview earlier this month and I am excited for the whole gang to be back on my TV again. I know for a fact everybody, but one guy won’t be back. Mr. Joseph Morgan, who plays the original-bad vampire himself “Klaus” because he was killed in the last episode. So I hope and wish that Joseph Morgan comes back as a flashback because I already miss him.

I had a third wish when I first started this post, but now I don’t have it. Despite everything that has happened this month, I am very happy it’s about to turn into another month. Hopefully it’ll have better days instead bad nights. Hopefully I’ll be able to draw some more and get this one finished and get started on my others. I feel like I’m getting stronger and lazy at the same time and I hate it. I just want to be one and that is stronger. My sister has had a couple fun months and I hope she gets to have a less overwhelming time with everything. We’re almost the same right now. We both feel like our bodies could split apart and we’d feel pretty okay with that because it would give us a break from this life we have. So how I am going to end this is I wish October to be less overwhelming. For not only me, but for everybody that is around me. I’m not the only one who has has it rough for a while. So that is my final wish for the new month. ❤

Worth It.

Yesterday was a long, long, long day. I cannot believe how long it was, even though it felt longer for some. My sister had her first Senior night, it was early in the morning not at night, and it was a first for all of us besides her. We had never gone to her early morning games because they’re usually away. Since Emily is now a senior, we’ve been trying to take our nana out with us. She went to my Homecoming in 2010, it was weird, because I didn’t know where she would be until I was in line with everybody. Emily was already practicing with her team, but she knew ahead of time she was coming. To make thing even better, our dad went too. He had to go because my parents had to walk her across the field after her game was over. Even before the game had went to halftime, we had a mini surprise. We knew my Uncle David and Aunt Kat were coming down, because it was planned that way. It was going to be a two thing day for most of us. Soccer game in the morning and family time in the afternoon. Well, they came very early and brought another surprise. My cousin Kristi came with them!

After the Senior thingy, the boys game started and Emily and my parents were slowly making their way up the hill up to their seats. My mom said she didn’t cry, but one of the boys’ mothers made her a special soccer picture and frame and they both started crying. Emily loves soccer very much. She definitely regrets not doing it earlier in high school. By the time the guys game got started. Dad had left, and both David and Kat went to McDonald’s without telling Kristi. She was not happy. So the rest of us girls stayed and watched the boys play and like before, they were aggressive and intense. My nana was a bit surprised I think. We only stayed until the guys’ halftime began then mom took nana back to her house and came back and loaded Kristi and I up. Emily came back after the boys game was over. Which was probably a good idea because while I was at nana’s. Mom took Papaw to the beauty polar to get his hair cut. Then mom dropped him off and went to get her’s done. Kat and Kristi did some errands and visited the new interstate. In the mist of all this, my nana, David and I were enjoying our interesting talks about his life on the road, driving his semi, talking about life, dreams (which was cool!) and other crazy things we probably shouldn’t have talked about.

After everybody was back from wherever they were, almost everybody was ready for pizza. My uncle is always ready for pizza. When everybody had a few smoke breaks and a couple of laughs. Almost everybody left again to get stuff for the pizza and mom did my nana’s errands. Emily left for a bit. I thought Kristi went with my mom, but she didn’t. She was outside and then I started hearing voices outside. I saw someone’s head out of the window. I recognized her right away, it was Brooke. The other one, it took me forever to figure out. I actually had to move the wheelchair over by the window without falling out of it just to peek out and see who this other person was, and found out it was Brittany. I got excited and told nana so we started hitting on the that side of the house to get their attention. Brooke didn’t stay very long, but Brittany stayed until after we finished the pizza. Between David and papaw, it was almost like a race to who was going to eat the most. Emily was the only one who ate last. Kristi left in the middle to visit a friend. Then after visiting with everybody, right before Brittany left, mom decided she was tired. For some odd reason, my energy was just fine. I didn’t even go to bed until 11:30, that just shows you I was a energetic person yesterday. I woke up tired as hell and hurting all around. Not cool, but it was all worth it.