Fight For Love

It’s not even Friday yet and I feel like I could have an emotional breakdown. I have got to stop watching movies that might be funny in the previews but automatically know it’s a chick flick without guessing. Especially with a title like Think Like A Man. I mean, come on! Just one look at that and the previews and you’re hooked. I know there are a lot of women out there that love chick flicks, but not me. We’ve been over this before, so I really shouldn’t say it again, but I’m going to, I hate love!

I’ve never been in a “real” relationship before. I am not counting the ones I had in middle school. Even though I really can’t say I never dated a football player because I have. Anyways, watching this movie all the way through–without stopping to take a music break–was interesting, funny, and weird, but I don’t know if it’s a good feeling or a bad one. At the beginning, I was comparing my attitude about the whole male species to the character Lauren. She is a very successful lady and wants a man kind of like her. She has her standards set high, and isn’t afraid to tell you what she wants, but you can kind of tell she’s not happy about being single. When she meets Dominic while he is doing valet, he steals a couple’s car to catch up with her in her car. He’s a dreamer, he keeps going back and forth with what he wants to do with his life.

While I was watching this movie, I started comparing myself to not only Lauren, but also Dominic too. He didn’t have what Lauren was looking for originally, he lied about his career, but yet told her what he wanted to do, and she acted like she supported him. So I thought about my situation, and here it is, I don’t have a real job, but I own this blog. I quit college, because I wasn’t happy with where I thought life was going, but I’m hoping for a good change to come around for me soon. So I’m a bit like Dominic, but yet I have a very strong, bad attitude towards men. I have my standards high, but I have to, in a sense. Nobody wants a boy in a relationship. Everybody, every woman wants a man to surprise them. I want somebody to surprise me. I may act like I’m a total bad ass, but I’ve been hurt so many times that, that is my wall. Do me a favor. Break that damn wall. Show me who you are. Don’t lie to me about who you are, please don’t do that. I want to change my ways.

After the movie was over, I immediately clicked the “x” button at the top, and put on some music. I put on some Rihanna, and then somehow I thought about Ne-Yo, then I switched it over to his songs. I’ve been listening to different R&B songs on my Spotify playlist for probably thirty minutes or so. All these damn love songs are killing me, but they’re so good and thank god I chose songs by the beat instead of the words, because I wanted to dance and that’s what I did. Then once I sat up, I thought I should blog about my lovely thoughts. All this love is driving me crazy, but the scary part is I actually want to buy Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. It’s not going to kill me. Maybe when I go to Barnes & Nobles for my birthday, maybe I’ll find somebody like Candace did? Ugh, what am I doing to myself? No, I have to think positive thoughts through this. I do want to change, so I’ll turn off those negative thoughts and hope, and continue to hope.

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