Envy

Yup, I still envy my sister. It’s not as bad as it use to be, so she’s got to give me credit there. It’s not really envy or anything like that, it’s more proud but things that she gets to do get in front of me being proud of her and kind of drive me back into my jealousy phase. Emily has been growing up on me–on all of us! She’s a senior in high school now! I feel old and I didn’t think I’d ever feel this old this soon.

In every family, especially if you have a sibling, older or younger, it really doesn’t matter. It still puts you in awkward place. I am the older sister and she’s the younger sister. Things that I should be she’s doing, like getting a job, driving a car, and have friends off the yin yang. I haven’t had that. I do chores for my nana and I get paid from her, but to me since she’s family, it doesn’t feel like a real job. Emily works at an actual place. She has a uniform and everything. I don’t get jealous physically, I do feel it inside, but I can’t do anything about it.

This picture was part of our “Christmas photo shoot in my bedroom” in 2008. She literally came in my room asking if I wanted to have a mini photo shoot with her and we got to talking and making faces at our family camera. We were making total fools out of ourselves, but it was fun! Living with me, life isn’t very easy. Knowing she’s going to graduate in May and she might go to an away college next fall is a little freaky for me. She has a lot on her plate right now. Between school, sports work, and figuring out what to do about school. I actually feel bad for her. So I don’t really envy her but I wish I could take some of the pressure off her.

Guilty Pleasure

I know! I know! I wasn’t really expecting to pick a country song, but I am! Listening to Disney classics and old 90’s pop songs are kind of cliché compared to me hating most country music. When I was riding the bus for school, the boy who rode the bus with me loved country music. From the time I was in middle school to high school, it was like he had to either go to school early or stay after school because it was the only time I was allowed to listen to my radio stations that was anything but country.

Honestly I’m not a BIG fan of country male singers. I’ve never been a fan of the male singers even though I had no problem thinking some were cute. If I do listen to country, I would rather listen through my headphones because my dad LOVES to tease me for it. I have one song that he actually introduced me to, it was Eric Church’s “Smoke’ A Little Smoke.” He made my mom and I listen to it one night before he decided to go to bed. The one time I actually didn’t have my headphones on and he wanted to have a party. Go figure! Everytime I play this song on my stereo he usually comes in and says, “now you’re listening to real music.” I usually end that with rolling my eyes. He walks out and goes back into the living room, but it doesn’t stop me from turning my stereo back in and jammin to it again.

Luke Bryan’s “Country Girl” song is still a mystery to me. I’m thinking my sister got me into it, but yet I sense my friend Mandy getting me into it. Or his butt, I don’t really remember who got me into what. I love this song so much. It is such a guilty pleasure song for me because I actually sing and dance to this song. Thank god nobody can see me shake my butt when this song comes on. They’d probably laugh at me. It really is embarrassing. Anyways, I try to keep this song on my iPod at all times but between my iPod and my sister’s, she doesn’t have room for her newer songs so she un-checks the ones she wants off her iPod. After she does this, she never tells me but it is kind of expected. When I go on our family computer I have to go check and uncheck the songs I want and don’t want on mine. This song is usually unchecked. When it does I get very sad.