Something You Could’ve Done Better

What is something you could’ve done better? Everybody has that one thing they wish they could do over. I have a lot sadly. They’re mostly around the last two years of high school. Both Junior and Senior years could have better. I literally had four years in a row just go out in a bad way. From 2008 to 2011 I had four drama infested years. Even though I had these bad years, one thing that still bugs me is my Senior Solo I did at the end of my senior year in Concert choir. That will always drive me crazy.

This isn’t an excuse or anything, but I don’t know what happened with it. We had practiced on it I think for two weeks and I had practiced with our choir director one-on-one and I did fine. Then I got sick and my voice and lungs weren’t letting me let out much air that I needed and I am a soprano so I was stressed out to the max about everything. The week before our last concert of the year, and the six days before I had to sing for everybody. I get sick. I went to school that Monday, but stayed home that Tuesday to give my body a day of rest and surprising that’s what I did was rest. I went to school for the next three days and that Friday I had went through the song with our choir director on stage. When I was going through it, I had messed up a line. He never like freaked out about it, like yell-yell at me about it. I kind of wish he did though.

The┬áday of our concert. My mom had gotten my lovely sickness. So my dad had to take me. My sister had cheer clinic so she couldn’t come and watch me, but I did see her afterwards so I was happy. I was sitting backstage really nervous and listening to the 8th graders sing their hearts out and I was reading the backstage walls of past swing choir members names and class years and thinking to myself, so this is what it feels like to be a senior? I didn’t want it all to end. I loved my classes and I was loving my life. Who knew a few short afterwards I’d want to give up everything. Both 8th grade and concert choir members sang two songs together on this stage. Then the 8th graders cleared out and concert choir got on the risers. Then it was my turn. I was so happy for those bright eyes. I knew out of my family who would be there and I was so happy they’d be seating in the back. I sang Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” and I thought I did good. Then as soon as everything was over. I got in my dad’s truck I noticed my mistake. I sang the wrong line again.

Going home with dad and talking about performance. I didn’t tell him in the truck that I made a mistake in my performance. When we got home, mom was in her pajama’s, ready to watch me sing on the video camera and I was thinking, oh just kill me now. About ten minutes after we got home and dad had gotten the camera hooked up to the TV and mom was watching, my nana called the house. My uncle David took her to it. She was very excited to talk to me and tell me how good I was even though I was still freaking out inside. My mom was sick, right? She cried through the whole damn thing. So we knew she’d be sick a few more days after that. She recalled my nana and talked about it with her. When Em got home, poor Emily had to watch. Thankfully, this time I didn’t have to watch myself. I think everybody got to watch it by that next weekend. Coming back to school that next Monday was strange. We were done and I didn’t have to practice on that song anymore. Sadly, ever since I noticed my mistake I haven’t even tried to sing that song at all. I am still ashamed that my problem with messing up songs came out, but like everybody kept telling me, it was a my solo, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.