I’m pretty content with my life. I’m comfortable of where I am with it. I’ve been this way for two years now. It’s given me lots to think about. I think everyone needs a break from whatever they’ve been doing. After I graduated from high school, I thought I’d go to college and live on campus during the second semester like a big girl. When August came along and brought all of the things I didn’t want to accept I was heartbroken. I’m sure everybody’s had that time where things we’ve always wanted don’t always go your way. It took me a whole year to realize that I didn’t need to be sad over the small stuff. I didn’t go back to college last year because my heart just wasn’t in it again. I switched out of a lot of things that didn’t feel right anymore. I accepted a lot of things but sometimes I didn’t have a choice with them. I have become patient along this ride, and I’m quite thankful for it.
Being in school for 12 years without a year off is exhausting. Everybody likes to enjoy their small breaks from school, holiday, spring, and summer breaks are wonderful, but it’s just not enough. Being able to stay at home all the time is amazing! However, I’m not the normal person who always at home. I like to go to sleep around 11pm and get up around 9:30am or 10am, so I don’t waste my day. I try to keep myself busy by doing little stuff. Yes, not doing things constantly has turned me into a lazy , but how I think of it is like a part-time job. I don’t always have to do things that day or the next if I don’t feel like it. I already have a job, it’s taking care of this blog and making sure my readers enjoy every crazy post. I like how I do things, because I’m in control of it. Nobody else!
Everytime I see my sister getting ready for work or soccer/cheer I do get jealous sometimes, but I look at what I have and really begin to question myself. Do I really like this life? Yes, I do. I love the fact that I have nobody to impress but myself. I don’t have to take orders (that much) and I can always change what I want to do without any (or no) complaints. I look at different people’s lives and wonder how I’d be able to do that if that was me, and sometimes I’ve had to push those thoughts away because I’d rather be happy then depressed. I DID NOT have this in my head, when I was in high school. I tried blocking it out. In 2011, I thought I wasn’t strong enough because I gave up so easily. I’m learning now that I am strong, I am stronger now because I love this life I lead. It’s not perfect, but who has a perfect life?