Road To Find That Something Again

I had the right mindset yesterday. I did almost everything right. Until I got on the floor and actually started drawing. Man, did it feel weird. I’m use to sitting in weird places for when I draw. Growing up and drawing at my nana’s house I’d sit in the hallway, kitchen, living room, etc. I was everywhere. At school, especially in Elementary, I could never reach the tables. So I would sit on top of the table. Surprisingly, I sat up there until I think fourth grade because when fifth grade came along everybody was too afraid to lift me because of my back. Which I didn’t blame them. I actually don’t remember what we did about that. Sitting up on the tables was awesome, because sometimes I felt as though as I was “Queen of the Art room.” Thank god I grew out of that stage.

Once I started middle school, I was being shipped back and forth with different aides because I didn’t have my own aide around that time. I took art four times during both sixth and seventh grades. I didn’t want to take gym in middle school, but when eighth grade came along I had to take gym. Anyways, the aides didn’t want to lift onto the tables either so I actually had my own little desk in there that was my height. It was long but not big enough for huge paper. That was always the downfall. It was a nice thing to have in art since I could do most of the stuff myself, except for the clay. That went straight to hell. When I started high school I took a break from art. I didn’t take it for two years, which seems interesting thinking about it now. It wasn’t until my Junior year, second semester that I went back into it.

I did the 2D classes, because I knew if I did the 3D classes my aide would be the one to do the projects and not me. So I never did that or Painting, even though I actually considered the Painting class as one of my last classes during my Senior year, but I was never good at painting. The mess was always fun but underneath my feet is really ticklish. Drawing was always fun to me. I hated it, and loved it at the same time. Junior year I did three projects that were out of the nine projects we had to do in all. My “Charmed Flower” was created in the dark part of the classroom on a small desk. During this time, I had another table but it was much smaller and had less room than the other table. I had some trouble with that drawing because where I was in the room, I couldn’t get the shading the come out right and I liked my little space in the corner of the room.

I did a “White Tiger” with ink wash. It was mainly ink and water. It was like you were painting because you used a brush to make this come to life on paper. I always had problems with keeping the paper and water cup on the desk. Something would always fall off. So my teacher gave an easel but instead of raising it up, it was flat. I can’t work with it up, my feet can’t do it. My legs can’t tired easily. Finally, I had room and enough stability that everything would stay on the desk. After I was done with that project, my last favorite was the “Justin Timberlake” portrait. It was made with charcoal. It actually looked like him. It was my first portrait and definitely wasn’t my last.

When senior year came along, in December I knew I was going to have my last Drawing class. I had to be prepared for this year and the projects. Our class was another small class, and finally I wasn’t the only upperclassmen in the class. There were two seniors in the class. I had to do nine projects but somehow I got away with doing seven in all but completely all the medias and only doing two doubles. Charcoal and pencil were the only two that were doubled. I did “The Six” which were the six members of Linkin Park and as my last project I did a pair of purple eyes I like to call “Legacy.” I vowed to take a break from drawing for a while because around that time everybody was driving me crazy about not doing art is a career. Art was always a hobby for me. Like, most of everything I do.

It’s been almost two years since my days at drawing. Three of “The Six” drawings are now two years old, and the other three projects are now three years old. Now I’m starting again. Starting on my next group of people. Yesterday wasn’t much fun to tell you the truth. It drove me nuts. Between thinking I broke the printer and the boxes my dad graphed out for me where too small, I was worried. I put too much pressure on myself. It’s just one picture but it’s one out of 15. You can’t tell your mom that though, she’d just think you’re crazy. Even though I think mom was already thinking that yesterday afternoon since I broke down. I’m an idiot and I’m insecure about how it’ll turn out since I haven’t done this in so long. I wonder how I acted after I went back into art after I took two years off when I was in school?

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