I’ve been hearing lots of talk that Godsmack and Staind are coming my part of the state. I’m not going to lie, we normally don’t get anybody good to come here and play a concert. It’s just mostly country artists. Which some of them aren’t bad, I know Taylor Swift and Miranda Lambert have both been here because my friends have went to see them live. I can’t say I’ve never went to a concert, I’ve been to “baby” concerts. My first concert ever was Jump5, they’re a Christian pop act. I actually went with my church and had fun, except for the girls crowded around me. I was always worried about one of performers on stage falling off stage and landing on me, because we were all that close. And yes, I was hoping it was one of the guys to fall on me.
I think it was last year, or August 2010 that somebody that I really liked had performed down here and I didn’t know a thing about it. I think it was Adelitas Way, My Darkest Days and somebody else, but I don’t remember who. I love both of those bands! I would have loved to see them live. Everybody knows in 2010-11 I was waiting for Linkin Park to come here and do a concert, but they never did. I was pretty bummed, because I gave up of not wanting to go to see anybody else but them. Now that I’m into Sixx:A.M. I’m kind of hoping for a miracle sometime soon. To me, seeing a rock concert is important.
My sister has went to so many concerts and most of them were rock concerts. One year, my mom told me that Daughtry and Nickelback were coming to do a concert and she was seriously thinking about buying tickets for the both us because we love them. Then as we were putting information because my wheelchair, and saw the price for that. I backed off, and we didn’t go. It wasn’t worth that much. As much as I’d love to see one of my favorites play live sometimes you just have to wait for the right time. I just want my first rock concert to be perfect and I don’t want to regret it afterwards. I definitely don’t want to go to see somebody play that I don’t already know. Because sometimes the live tracks sound different from studio versions.
Finally, after two days I’ve found the tracks to Lacuna Coil’s new album, Dark Adrenaline. It was released on Monday in Europe and yesterday for USA. I’ve been on a Lacuna kick for the past two days. Trying to find tracks online. Went on YouTube Tuesday hoping maybe somebody from overseas would post something, all I found was their song, “Intoxicated” which is on the new album, so I was pretty happy about because I liked that song a lot. Besides YouTube, I went their website and SoundCloud. Didn’t find anything else. Today, I went to listen to the song again and found the other tracks.
It’s a pretty good album. They did a remake of R.E.M. “Losing My Religion” and I’m not a fan of them, but I have heard a few covers of the song and I think everybody’s sound horrible against this one. Besides that song, I had a couple more I really liked. Their first single, “Trip The Darkness” of course is a favorite, but so is “Kill The Lights,” “Intoxicated,” My Spirit,” and “Give Me Something More.” Those songs were absoluately brillant!
I know I’ve probably annoyed my Twitter followers all afternoon with sharing the songs on my Twitter page. But I only shared the ones I liked, wheren’t very many. I could have just shared them all, but I didn’t. I was very tempted I will say. I think everybody should listen to the album. It’s definitely worth it. I love the band a lot. They’re very awesome at what they do! Hopefully one of these days, I’ll get to see them live. They’re on my very long list of acts I’d like to see one day in concert.
Why is it when I’m physically hurting I’m happy mentally, but when I’m hurting mentally I’m happy physically? Does that even make sense? Here’s what I really mean, for the past two days I’ve been sick with different pains, but I’ve kept up my happy mentality. Now that I’m starting to feel better around certain areas that were giving me problems on my body, my mind hurts. I guess that’s what the snort will do to you after a few days. Yesterday, I did pretty much everything in my power to keep up my happy thoughts. This morning I woke up, feeling refreshed, but my mind was the one giving me problems. I don’t really feel depressed, I feel exhausted even though I’ve been getting sleep at night, except for last night. For once I have a clear head (really!) and I couldn’t find any sleep for the life of me. Not cool.
So today is Wednesday, and technically I’ve blogged twice today, if you count that I did last night then after this one I’ll have three posts for today. I’m just rambling on. My mind isn’t here. Maybe dad’s suggestion of taking a nap wouldn’t be such a bad idea, except I’m concerned of the sleep I won’t get if I do decide to take a nap. I think too much don’t I? Well I’ve listened to the same songs I listened to yesterday and they’re not making me better, my voice is another story even though I still sound like I’m talking through my nose, but I don’t see how I can since I have nothing in their today, all the crap is draining in the back of my throat. Sorry for being disgusting. I live for details! I’m hopefully going to read some more today, I tried reading a bit ago, but only read for 10 minutes. How depressing is that? I’m going to listen to some more Lacuna Coil. See ya!
I was on Facebook, and I had posted a comment to one of my “friends” wall and I’m still deciding if I want to consider her my “best friend” again or not. I’m still scared of being let down and so I’ve been keeping my guard up and hoping for the best. I’m really hoping for the best, but always expecting the worse. That’s actually better than the other way around really. So when it happens it doesn’t hurt as much. Friends to me, means being there always, not when you’re suddenly bored and out of the blue decide to text me. It’s quite sad, but that’s not reason why I wanted to do this best. I’m hoping to go to my sister’s homecoming game this Friday, because mom’s got the day off so I definitely want to go and watch some basketball. I’ve turned back into a fan of it, even though I don’t know shit about it. I also kind of want to go and see who I find there and maybe find some people I haven’t seen in a while and chat with them.
I’m trying to accept different things. I’ve learned to accept things that normal people would have a hard time accepting. I can’t help myself from looking at people. They stare me, so why can’t I look back? Over the years, I think I’ve got a starring problem. I watch everybody like a hawk. At games it’s always a challenge to keep my eyes off the entrance doors to the gym. I’m curious and hoping it’s somebody I know well enough that I know they’d come see me and talk, but I usually get the axe when we’re ready to leave after the game’s over. My heart doesn’t break anymore, because I don’t even think it was even whole to begin with. People destroyed me. Maybe that’s why I turned to music, Internet and books to take me away from this reality that hates me. I don’t blame the people anymore because I don’t want them to have the guilt. One of those people who says, “I’ll take a bullet for you, and every pain after that.” That’s what I’ve turned into after all this time.
So today is almost finished. I’m actually sad that it’s ending because today was one of my better days I’ve had in a while. And that’s even before I became sick, I had a few sad days but I didn’t want them to be true so I kept denying them. I remembered yesterday, I was listening to metal bands all morning long and then I stopped and instantly got depressed. I wasn’t myself and I had made a promise this morning that I wouldn’t be sad today at all. So what did I do? I listened to everything (almost) that made me happy yesterday once again. I even found more stuff and listened to the older stuff that was replaced by the new. I was happy to know that my voice was starting to sound right again, and I could actually hold a note while I sang. Oh, that was awesome! I could breathe through my nose and even smelling different things. Earlier, my dad and sister were watching a movie in the living room and somebody made popcorn and I could actually smell it after four days!
It just turned 11:30pm and I’m not tired (yet) and I’ve got my headphones and listening to my “starred” tracks on my Spotify account. At the moment, I’m listening to “Shot In The Dark” by Within Temptation. I can’t stop listening to rock music, can’t I? I’ll probably end it as soon as I’m done here and go to YouTube and watch some Sixx:A.M. videos. It’s a routine I have now. If I don’t hear them before I go to sleep, it’s a wasted night. I must have that last image of Dj Ashba to get me to go to sleep at night. I’m such a weirdo. I read my book before my mom came home from work. I’m really liking this book, and I’m starting to be happy I’m sick because this book has a lot of sad parts in it and I can’t cry when I’m sick. It would end in disaster if I did cry. Anyways, it’s a good book. I can’t wait to do a book review for you us after I’m done, but since I’m at like 28% it’s going to be a while until you get a review. Sorry, well I’m going to go. Goodnight. ❤