Inhale

Well I’ve caught the bug. That nasty bug that everybody in this house has had. We’re actually trying to figure out who had it first. My dad and I are the ones who have at the moment. Mom came home Friday night from work feeling like her head was going to explode. Not a good image, isn’t it? That morning, she was feeling it even more. Saturday’s are our days of going to nana’s for lunch and mom does her errands. Well, mom didn’t feel like she should or could even get out of the house. So she waited until Sunday, and she was still sick. But since I don’t get out much, the weekends are somewhat of a relieve for me. However, I didn’t want mom to get worse and I knew nobody else wants whatever she has. I woke up Wednesday morning with my throat very groggy. At first, I thought it was just because of how little I drank any of my pop last night.

I went to bed that night around 10:30pm or 11pm. I was really tired apparently, but I didn’t feel like I was. I still had all my energy, but as soon as I tweeted on my phone to my Twitter, “Goodnight” I was out like a light. I didn’t get up until 9am that morning. I slept a lot. So when I got up, and noticed my voice and the feeling on the back of my throat was just weird. I immediately thought, oh great, now I’m sick. Then I got a drink of my pop I had from last night. Just to see what all would change. I was definitely holding on to something positive. Afterwards, my throat wasn’t so bad. Then Thursday came, not only did my throat feel like crap. My chest and lungs felt horrible. I was also coughing as well, but I know how to contain my coughs so I only let one or two out at a time. I don’t like to cough because of my history of gagging in the middle or during one of my coughing fits. I got some interesting stories I could tell about that, but I don’t want to disgust anybody.

Last night mom gave me medicine. One of those people, who would rather take pill like cold medicine than the liquid shit. It’s less disgusting and the after taste doesn’t last for hours on end. And telling yourself act like you’re already 21 and its alcohol, doesn’t work anymore. Trust me, I’ve tried every thought to not make myself want to vomit some of this stuff (sorry) and haven’t found something to calm me down. I just hate all medicine to be honest with you. I hardly take painkillers anymore because I want to feel strong enough to get through it on my own. If I do ask for anything, I don’t just go to my strong stuff. I’d rather have about two Advils. Something that happened last night that got me thinking, a little after I laid down from having my medicine my back and right foot started acting up. They started twitching almost unbearable. I had to wrap my left foot around my right foot just to feel some comfort. My back had some spasms underneath my shoulder blades. I was in one strange position on my bed. I was slightly turned to my left on my hips and my back was flat on the bed. My feet were twisted a little. It’s hard to explain, but I was going to get through this pain without medicine and I had just ended my prayers and I didn’t think God needed to read this last problem I had, I was going to get through myself.

I expected a sleep-less night. I managed to go to sleep. But I woke up at 5am and surprisingly went to back to bed to only get waken up by my mom to take me to the bathroom before she went back to sleep. By this time, I had a massive headache after actually going back to sleep after waking up at 5am. After, she tucked me back in my bed and I passed back out. I forgot to tell her about the pain last night. She still doesn’t know, actually nobody knows until now. I don’t remember telling her anything really. I was tired, so I was probably half asleep because after she put back in my bed I passed back out and didn’t wake back up until 10am. My phone kept exploding (vibrating) so I got tired of it and just opened it to see all these tweets of my wonderful friends. Most were #FF’s (Follow Friday) I’d been included in and I haven’t gotten that much in a long time. I love them, they’re awesome people!

Book Review: This Is Gonna Hurt

So here we are again, my fourth book in this little web. This book was probably my favorite and most exciting book to get. Before I even bought this book I was pumped! I had listen to “This Is Gonna Hurt” by Sixx:A.M. and already read Nikki’s first book, The Heroin Diaries, kind of already knowing what I’d be getting myself into. I had watched the music videos but “Lies Of The Beautiful People” was the first, I will say I’m not the biggest fan of the real creepy stuff. Watching the music video at first, flipped me upside down and over again.

Then once as I finally got the book, I started reading about why he takes pictures of people who are physically different and of things that people normally think  are strange. His pictures are all over the book, and as a so-called “hater” of creepy stuff, I’m fine with this. I think he corrupted me. Because before, I hated myself, didn’t think I was beautiful because of everybody else around me who had rejected all these years. Feeling kind of bitter. Almost like of hating all men, and I started reading about Nikki and my heart got all happy. Finally, a man who was different. There really is a God. Everybody should read this book.

I feel like I’m at school doing a paper about somebody that a teacher assigned to me and getting completely shell-shocked about somebody I assumed would be like every other male in the world. Man, was I wrong? His first book scared the living out of me. I don’t know if I was scared of how he used to be, or something else, but it worked. Afterwards, I knew I had to read his second book. And surprisingly enough, I just wanted the book for the photography. The journal part was the second part I was anxious about. By the day it came in, I was all giddy and probably looked like a crazy person to my dad. Getting all excited over a book. Well, there’s always a first. Knowing that a few hours after giving me the book he told me he might read it after me. Here you go dad!

Nikki is very bold. I couldn’t believe half the things he said in the book. I remember reading some pages and being stunned with his words. As I started reading it, I could feel myself building up the tears inside. All the pain I’ve felt about myself started to feel like it was going to come out on full blast. Somehow I managed to keep it together even though it was really hard to keep them in. I’ve cried too much in my life to let a book get to me. My favorite page was 85, well actually it starts on page 84. Those two pages practically killed me inside. Nikki talks about his life, both bands, and past. I think Nikki talking about Mick Mars was probably the one of the most sweetest but yet saddest things I’ve ever read in my life. I’ve read a lot of books, but these two pages were my favorites. I don’t want give out much just in case some that are reading haven’t read it yet. I don’t want to spoil it, but you might want tissues.