Comparing

If I would have seen this last year, I wouldn’t be able to believe it. It’s really hard for me to believe a lot of things actually. I made a mistake this morning. I woke up this morning and not wanting to watch any of my normal food shows and watched Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. I only watched about half of it. I’m more of a fan of the original movie, and watching it just made me sad for two reasons. I miss Patrick Swayze. And I began to feel all sad again. Feeling sorry for myself again and hating my legs for not being to balance my body weight. I was doing so good too! I even made it my New Year’s Resoluation. I only made one and I couldn’t even make it through January, but I got to say at least I can I did get through the first week of January. I hate watching something and it makes me feel like shit afterwards. Not smart on my part, especially when I think I can get through it without feeling bad when I know better.

This banner is true. I made two weeks liking my body fully. Got through the pain on my own. And also go through the bad thoughts with one positive thought. That’s something new for me. I’ve been laughing and smiling more. Trying to keep up with everybody else and talk to them. Make them feel better about themselves and try and help with the small problems they have. Comparing myself to others is such a waste of time. I wish I had that mindset in school. Something about the “pretty girls” made me cringe because they had everything. All the guys wanted them. However, now I don’t really give two shits. Those girls had a problem with making people like me, who had insecurity problems feel bad about themselves both mentally and physically. The guys messed with our minds everytime they would reject us. Oh well though, Karma’s a bitch. We seriously need to stop comparing ourselves and start living our lives our way.