My Love/Hate Relationship With Art

In grade school my favorite class wasn’t lunch or recess, instead it was Art. My friend Ashlyn gave me a suggestion on my Twitter earlier. She gets very creative with these ideas, they’re definitely making me think. Today she told me to talk about my favorite thing to do as a kid and now and then compare each of them. Art, either it was drawing or painting I always loved it. Not necessary doing it myself, but I loved everybody’s else pictures. When I was in school besides writing, drawing was my second gift God blessed me with. Everybody was always amazed with me whenever I’d do both, but drawing was everybody’s favorite I think. My Art teacher in Elementary was Mrs. Hays. She was my favorite teacher out of like seven teachers I had. She always encouraged me on my artwork. She made me feel better after everybody watching me all the time while we worked on our projects.

When I got into middle school, we got into the 3-D type of projects. I noticed after my first attempt of making a cat in clay and it ended up looking like the Great Sphinx of Giza in Egypt. Except mine wasn’t suppose to end up like that and ironically enough the nose actually fell off when our teacher Mr. Ross welded them. We still have it somewhere, I actually hate it but everybody seems to still love it. It made realize that the 3-D projects were not for me. And I didn’t just do that one to make me realize it either. I made a box and cup and both of those were made by my aide. During my Junior year, I tried painting after five years of not painting at all. I did the ingredients of Salsa. We finally have those up after three years. I didn’t think I did well with those either so I never continued with painting.

Drawing, doodling for me is fun. It’s always been interesting what I’ll find and want to draw. When Senior year came I didn’t have art until second semester and I was worried that I’d never be able to have it then either with my ISTEP classes I had to have and others as well. When second semester came, I had ideas of what I wanted to draw and already had the pictures picked out. I was prepared. The only thing I was worried about was my teacher’s approval of the pictures. I had six guys I wanted to draw and only one picture out of the six was the original picture I picked out at first. Everybody’s would go back and forth. I got six portraits done in four months. Three of them were started a day after the other. My fourth was my shortest time, I did that one for three days. The longest amount of time was my last portrait and it took me two weeks. After I finished those drawings, I could have just stopped right there, but we had to have 9 to 11 projects.

Now I know you’re thinking, I only did six drawings, but however I did put two medias in one drawing. So it shortened my projects down a bit. When May came, my teacher didn’t want me to not do anything in his class so I had to find something else to draw. So I started searching for my best and favorite feature on a person: Eyes. I love eyes! With or without make up. I found hundreds of pictures but chose this picture of baby blue eyes. I already went into about this drawing a month ago, so I’m not going to talk about it again. After graduation, I vowed I was done was art. After years of people watching me and admiring my artwork I just stopped. I didn’t see the point of going on. The reason why is because when I was in class, even though everybody was admiring my artwork I was admiring their’s. I loved watching everybody else draw. It was more like envy, because they hated everytime I’d watch them. Thankfully, they never said anything about it, but I know the feeling of being watched and it sucks. Especially when you’re doing average things like writing and drawing.

So going back to Ashlyn’s topic. I have not gotten back into drawing. After two years, I’d like to start drawing again but I liked the fact that when I was in the class I had the teacher there to watch me and help me if I needed it. Which was often. I don’t think I can do it now. I already have pictures lined up in my head of who I want to draw. Everytime I look at different photography of people, I think “oh, that would be cool as a drawing.” Since I have a history of drawing celebrities like, my first was Justin Timberlake (Junior year) and Linkin Park (Senior year) they’re the first thing I want to do. I’ve been thinking of trying to go small, but that never happens in my case. There is one picture I’d just like to try to it’s a picture of James Michael. The lead singer of Sixx:A.M. I saw this picture and I literally went “I want to draw this” and then I start to get worried. Because all my doubts start flooding me and making me think twice about doing it on my own. This is what the picture looks like, it looks too detailed for me and my other drawings didn’t have that much detailed on them. See, all my doubts are coming in and making me think twice about it.

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