Thanks to a mini conversation with my friend Becky on Twitter, we are talking about different perspectives. It actually started off talking about weather, and then I suggested we trade lives and that’s how the conversation started. I told her after a day in my shoes, her perspective will probably change. Then we got on the subject about how I’ve always thought that if I was ever taught to walk on my own (which will never happen) that I’d fall and break something and I’d never be able to walk again. Sadly, I had members of family keeping this thought inside my head and has never really left. I’d like to walk on my own, but with my own feet. The ones I have now. I had an option of having surgeries on my feet years ago, but it was ALWAYS my desicion, which was nice since I was so young and I never wanted them changed even thinking of everybody else and seeing them walk, run, and other things.
The reason why I kept my feet the way they are is simple. If I had surgery on my feet I’d probably loose my abilities with my feet. Meaning, the writing, drawing, driving, and everything I know how to do now. So that actually was my real reason to keep my feet. As much as I hate learning new things to do with them. They do let me do things and I don’t always have to ask people to do the things I do on a daily basis. I don’t regret not having the surgery or surgeries. After I had my back surgeries, I went back to walking with the walker and found it a waste of time because I realized I wasn’t really walking. I was sitting in a machine that had wheels and was just uncomfortable and rough on my feet. I couldn’t use it on carpet and couldn’t wear shoes or socks because I couldn’t get enough strength to go forward. It was always weird, and for some reason I always thought I’d be taller if I walked. I was wrong, It was a real wake up call for me.
That was step one in the right direction. I learned how wanting to be like everybody else was a waste of my time. Because I wasn’t even close to be like them in a million years. Middle school was rough enough and learning that probably didn’t make things better. In high school, it slowly got better. I wanted to hang out with everyone. That was my next goal and I was determained to NOT let myself down from that one and actually succeed at that one, but it didn’t happen until Junior year. The week before my 18th birthday. I hung out with my friends without my mom or sister watching out for me. It was weird, but nice. Now I don’t even have the same friends I had back then. It’s a blessing in a disguese. Instead of them making me happy, I have new friends and I’m quite happy at where I’m at right now. They’re all lessons learned. (: